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SilentMage
December 08, 2007, 09:46 PM
Oh. My. God. I've tried to post this three times already, so maybe it will show up this time.

I'm not going to try to rewrite this whole post since it was way too long, but this is the gist of it.

Basically, I'm an introvert/loner/whatever you want to call me. Lately, I've noticed that it's difficult for me to keep steady friends. They just don't understand when I don't feel like hanging out. I can't sit and socialize and chat over nothing for hours upon hours because it makes me tired mentally and sometimes a bit irritable.

I like people, and I like talking about my interests and learning new things, but I can't do the chit-chat. How can I explain this to non-introverts? How can I let them know that yes, I do like them, but I would rather sit with them and not talk at all sometimes?

Is anyone here an introvert too? How do you deal with it? How do you make long-lasting friends? If you're an extrovert, what do you think?

rabb
December 08, 2007, 11:17 PM
i think the all otaku, and most anime fans are introverted... i'm certainly no exception. and im no one to give you advice XD but still, my advice, is to say what you just said: you're interested in them, but it's hard for you to talk. I guarentee you no guy will say he can't be with you if you don't like to talk a lot XD

oh, and with the big posts, always copy it before posting. never know when you will have to re-type it. *is rather well known for large posts*

SilentMage
December 08, 2007, 11:47 PM
That's true I guess! XD But it seems I always mess that up when I date people. I either try to talk too much because I don't want to make him uncomfortable, or I act like myself and the conversation stalls and he gets really nervous. It's really frustrating. I think I'll have to just ask a guy straight away whenever I start to date people again.

I guess my problem is more about friends in general though. A large majority of girls are all about the chit-chat, and not many of them really like anime. I swear I haven't really had a friendly conversation with a guy in months because I go to an all-girls college, and I'm not really interested in dating and going out to party (unless it's a club with mostly gay men, of course XD). Most boys I meet just want to potentially hook up instead of simply wanting to be friends (no matter how many times I say I don't want to date anyone), so I end up avoiding/ignoring them.

Wow. I'm not even sure if I'm making sense anymore. >_>;;;

rabb
December 09, 2007, 12:41 AM
well, you make some sense... but you only party with gay guys? that's wierd XD and it's saying something that i'm saying ur wierd. but no, that makes sense. im similiar in a lot of ways. although, while i know and like a lot of lesbian women, i dont party only with them :p actually, i dont party at all. I'm sure that if you mentioned you went to an all girls college, you'd have guys crawling all over you XD oh wait, that might be a bad thing... :oh you don't have to wear uniforms, do you?

hmm... maybe if any of your your friends have geeky brothers, you could go out with them :p they'd be just as quiet as you, so you wouldn't have to worry about them trying to hook up :XD

SilentMage
December 09, 2007, 01:07 AM
XDDD It's 'cause I'm a bit of a fag hag and because I have an insatiable need to dance. If I weren't so crazy about dancing, I wouldn't go out either. Gay men like me for some reason (and I like them too! :D). And no, we don't wear uniforms. :P

And you're right; I most definitely DON'T want guys crawling all over me. I always get hit on by:
1) Creepy and/or old, scary looking old men that want to kidnap you (Yes, someone has said this to me. My friends had to save me. O_o)
2) Really, really boring men
3) Guys that seem cool at first and/or are very hot that turn out to be giant assholes
4) Gay men XD (This happens when multiple guys you've liked or dated have turned gay after dating you, and then you find out later that one or two of them still have a thing for you. I wish I were joking. XD)
4) Stalkers
5) Druggies
6) Perverts with crazy fetishes... etc etc

Basically that's why I only really talk to women and gay men nowadays. They're pretty safe and neutral. I don't know how to meet good guys. AT ALL.

I like the geeky brother idea, but NONE of my friends have brothers. ;_;

rabb
December 09, 2007, 04:11 AM
this is completly off subject, but if i were L i'd suspect light just becuase he was enjoying those chips WAY too much...

so... i guess the gay guys you talk to are the exception to rule 4? hmm... wut to say, wut to do... well first i must defend the kreepy guys: were not all that bad! :yelling *makes kreepy look smexy* XD

alright, well you didn't include those guys that are in love with themselves, so that one group of jerks down :p the druggies you just need to stay out of the general bars. actually, i'd avoid those altogether if possible. you'll never find a good guy waiting there for ya. don't suppose you like baseball or football? or moved to goergia from somewhere else? i think you're more likely to find a cool guy at a good sports bar before everyone gets drunk. if you're from somewhere else, then you could just say you want to go there to be around people from near where you used to live. of coarse, i'd suggest bringing along a couple of friends.

i think bookstores and comic book stores might be good, too. if you see a cute guy looking at books, you could stroll up, pretend to browse the books, and then ask if there is anything he suggests.

mind you, i know nothing of finding good boyfriends. i could ask my half-brother (who is bi) but im not sure any answers he gave would help you. and it'd be a pain in the butt to try and get his number.

and don't worry about having trouble finding a good boyfriend. all women do. and never settle. three of my sisters are still having trouble with ex-boyfriends that were exceptionally large jackasses

SilentMage
December 09, 2007, 08:22 AM
XDDD Oh, Light. You are so incredibly insane. *pats him on the head as I slowly take away the chips*

XD You don't seem creepy. Guys that back you into a corner at EB Games and say that they want to throw you in the trunk of their car and kidnap you are.

And sadly, I have dated a guy who was in love with himself. I just included it in the asshole category. >_>;;;

I've never really thought about sports bars. I know a little about football, but I'm not sure that I'm super enthusiastic about it. And there is a comic book store near where I live, but it's usually pretty empty. I guess I should go more often then if I want to "accidentally" run into someone. XD

Thank you!

Maybe I should turn this into a Dating Horror Stories thread. What do you think?

Lohnt
December 09, 2007, 04:54 PM
1) Creepy and/or old, scary looking old men that want to kidnap you (Yes, someone has said this to me. My friends had to save me. O_o)
2) Really, really boring men
3) Guys that seem cool at first and/or are very hot that turn out to be giant assholes
4) Gay men XD (This happens when multiple guys you've liked or dated have turned gay after dating you, and then you find out later that one or two of them still have a thing for you. I wish I were joking. XD)
4) Stalkers
5) Druggies
6) Perverts with crazy fetishes... etc etc

Out of curiosity, what exactly is left? Perhaps anti-social (lock themselves in their house) intellectuals, but for the most part, until their 30's most if not all guys fit into one of the above categories.. albeit in varying (oftentimes acceptable) degrees.

rabb
December 10, 2007, 01:37 AM
so which are you? :p you're forgetting the target bracket for all women: good looking, smart, nice guys that would make good fathers. granted, they make up less than .5% of our total numbers, but we do exist :kukuku although, if you just dropped any of those four things the numbers increase tenfold.

@ mage... dont take the man' chips. he kill you. he kill you good! (although i want that mini-LCD tv myself >_>) and i pride myself and being as wierd and kreepy as possible :p no fun in being normal. so how did the date with the guy that loved himself go? i gotta hear that XD as for a thread for bad dates... nah, dont do that! i wouldnt be able to post in here anymore :p don't get me wrong, i've had a couple of bad dates... but i can't ay what went wrong without getting banned XD (remember wut you said about crazy fetishes?)

Lohnt
December 10, 2007, 02:21 AM
good looking, smart, nice guys that would make good fathers.
I played this card for 2 years, only to realize at this age women aren't interested in this AT ALL, this resulted in me getting my heart broken in two severely painful breakups.

In September, before I joined the airforce and still dated I wandered between 2, 3 and 6 (and 5 if drunkeness is included) depending on the girl I was with and how I read her signals. All of which worked better than being the knight in shining armor that absolutely no girl wants or knows what to do with at least in the U.S.

That is to say, if I dated here, I wouldn't necessarily act like 2 or 5 (maybe 3 or 6 depending on the girl and what she's after) but for SilentMage who lives in the U.S., I answered accordingly. Obviously things will work differently depending on what culture/country you live in.

Every girl that I know that has dated either a friend of mine that I KNOW is a big teddy bear and the nicest guy you know (good looking too) has broken up with him/cheated on him, and the same has happened to me as well.
Take the opposite route, and your cell phone keeps ringing at all hours of the night.

Leen
December 12, 2007, 02:11 PM
I stay in my room all the time too. I'm one of those people called INTP people. Strictly introvert.

My roommate on the other hand is strictly extrovert. So she will ask me to go here and there all the time and I will just reject her offers again and again until she gives up on me.

What's so wrong of being an introvert anyway? haha.

However, introvert doesn't mean no-relationship life. I believe that those who are introvert can be better when it comes to relationship because they will be pretty serious if they ACTUALLY decide to get out of their rooms for once, just for the girl.

Not only that, I can testify that even though I might not go out all the time, I do have some very very good long-term friends until now. I have those friends that I knew since I was 7 and we still keep in contact until now.

So, says who introvert are doomed to an old and senile and lonely life? That's wrong assumption totally.

Azurel
December 16, 2007, 08:08 AM
I guess my problem is more about friends in general though. A large majority of girls are all about the chit-chat, and not many of them really like anime. I understand what ya mean; being an introvert myself. Apart from being the only girl who likes anime among my friends, I'm not interested in fashion which makes it even harder for me to say much. I'm usually close to only one girl at a time even in a clique so I basically tell her bits abt my fav anime or drag her to a comic/manga bookstore while shopping and introduce her to the figurines. I guess it doesn't matter if you don't have a friend who likes anime but if she's willing to learn abt your interest then it's fine. This friend of mine even watch Akazukin Cha Cha and Aishiteruze Baby for a while though she stopped now. :amuse but sadly, I realize I have more close-guy friends than girl friends. :XD


Out of curiosity, what exactly is left? Perhaps anti-social (lock themselves in their house) intellectuals, but for the most part, until their 30's most if not all guys fit into one of the above categories.. albeit in varying (oftentimes acceptable) degrees. O.O please don't tell me there isn't a perfectly normal guy around.


I stay in my room all the time too. I'm one of those people called INTP people. Strictly introvert.

What's so wrong of being an introvert anyway? haha.

Not only that, I can testify that even though I might not go out all the time, I do have some very very good long-term friends until now. I have those friends that I knew since I was 7 and we still keep in contact until now.
Yes, I happen to love my room too. A friend once jokingly told me to get a life but I'm pretty happy with how I am now. Btw leen, do you like walking around alone? I kinda like exploring places or shopping mall on my own. :XD


I played this card for 2 years, only to realize at this age women aren't interested in this AT ALL, this resulted in me getting my heart broken in two severely painful breakups. Well, maybe you just met the wrong type of women. Where do you normally meet women?

walkie
December 18, 2007, 09:49 AM
is there a line between introvert and extrovert?? because i really like having time on my own sometimes but also really like being with my friends...i do not think i am extrovert because i get away from my friends if i feel like, as i said i enjoy my loneliness at my room. but i cant be alone long time, otherwise i miss being out, chating with people...i guess i am troublesome one, huh?



I understand what ya mean; being an introvert myself. Apart from being the only girl who likes anime among my friends, I'm not interested in fashion which makes it even harder for me to say much.

waoww, thats the girl type i wanna date :D



I guess it doesn't matter if you don't have a friend who likes anime but if she's willing to learn abt your interest then it's fine. This friend of mine even watch Akazukin Cha Cha and Aishiteruze Baby for a while though she stopped now.

well at first some of friends laughed about it, watching anime? so childish? and etc. but in time almost everybody accepted it and i even turned 3 of them into anime-freak :)



Most boys I meet just want to potentially hook up instead of simply wanting to be friends (no matter how many times I say I don't want to date anyone), so I end up avoiding/ignoring them.

i completely understand you..most girls i met, stopped meeting me with after i stated there is not gonna be something like dating. i guess at this point it is not so different between boys and girls...

Leen
December 18, 2007, 08:11 PM
Azurel, I love to walk alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :whoo :whoo

When I go to places, I just go alone. I hate people tagging alone. I feel restrained with people around me. I can only feel truly free when I'm alone. haha. Even in college, I walk alone to dorm, to library, to classes. No friends, no tagging alone.

I won't mind a few good friends when I go shopping or park though. Nothing more than 3-4. Anything more than that is called a group and I hate group. XD haha

Azurel
December 19, 2007, 08:03 AM
Azurel, I love to walk alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :whoo :whoo

When I go to places, I just go alone. I hate people tagging alone. I feel restrained with people around me. I can only feel truly free when I'm alone. haha. Even in college, I walk alone to dorm, to library, to classes. No friends, no tagging alone.

I won't mind a few good friends when I go shopping or park though. Nothing more than 3-4. Anything more than that is called a group and I hate group. XD haha I don't mind attending small parties for abt 10 or so ppl, as long as only good friends are invited. :XD I know there are ppl who can't go anywhere alone, they must always ask someone to tag along; even to the toilet. :notrust Everytime I met a friend while I'm out, they are always with someone while I'm always alone. Nice to know I'm not the only one who likes to go out alone. :gigglebunny


is there a line between introvert and extrovert?? because i really like having time on my own sometimes but also really like being with my friends...i do not think i am extrovert because i get away from my friends if i feel like, as i said i enjoy my loneliness at my room. but i cant be alone long time, otherwise i miss being out, chating with people...i guess i am troublesome one, huh?
Actually, everyone has some introvert and extrovert characteristics, it's just that you're usually more introverted or more extroverted. Even if you're an introvert, no man is an island, you're bound to feel lonely at times. And if you're an extrovert, there are times you rather be left alone. So I think how u feel is perfectly normal. :D

Leen
December 20, 2007, 02:06 AM
I don't mind attending small parties for abt 10 or so ppl, as long as only good friends are invited. :XD I know there are ppl who can't go anywhere alone, they must always ask someone to tag along; even to the toilet. :notrust Everytime I met a friend while I'm out, they are always with someone while I'm always alone. Nice to know I'm not the only one who likes to go out alone. :gigglebunny


:gigglebunny
I remember how in high school, some of my friends MUST went to toilet together. :blink I was like, "What's so fearful about gong to toilet alone?!!"

Especially when you go to shopping, I don't think you want someone to go with you. I hate it when people start to tag alone if I go anyway (especially shopping). If I turn out to like to red and he/she likes the blue, the trouble starts to occur. :s

Best solution, go alone. Glad someone agrees with me. :hi5

MissYuki
June 28, 2009, 06:51 PM
I don't really know what I would be classified as...As much as I really do strive to make long lasting friendships it usually does not happen. I have alot of friends of different ages/gender/etc but I prefer to be alone rather then with everyone. I guess it all depends on the mood?

morkelkey
July 01, 2009, 01:26 AM
Hi dear friends, I like the geeky brother idea, but NONE of my friends have brothers. thanks for this one...

aprilapple
July 05, 2009, 06:07 PM
Society favors extroverts. The teacher favors students who raise their hands in class... the boss promotes the employees who can charm the clients to his favor. In other words, whether you are an introvert or extrovert you have to adapt to an extroverted society (where introverted people are sometimes out casted).



Actually, everyone has some introvert and extrovert characteristics, it's just that you're usually more introverted or more extroverted. Even if you're an introvert, no man is an island, you're bound to feel lonely at times. And if you're an extrovert, there are times you rather be left alone. So I think how u feel is perfectly normal. :D

I totally agree. I think I used to be an introvert... and sort of turned into an extrovert over the years. So now... I think I'm a little bit of both. I can be extremely lively within a group... but I can also lock myself in front of a computer for a week... lol .......But there is a limit to both really

blai
July 09, 2009, 07:07 AM
Actually, everyone has some introvert and extrovert characteristics, it's just that you're usually more introverted or more extroverted. Even if you're an introvert, no man is an island, you're bound to feel lonely at times. And if you're an extrovert, there are times you rather be left alone. So I think how u feel is perfectly normal. :D

You hit the spot!
I've always been this extremely extrovert person that's always calling someone, can't be alone, has to do stuff with friends but lately It feels like i've overdone it and now i just wanna be complete alone. I even tell my family to go for a walk or something now when I'm living at home during summer so I can be alone. Nowadays I can never be arsed to go out and meet friends and girls, I keep postponing and rejecting... I just wanna sit here alone, thinking and playing the guitar :x

I don't wanna call myself an introvert though, since I still wanna go out and meet people... but then they have to come over cuz I'm so lazy ^_^

-Ren Boy-
July 09, 2009, 07:48 AM
Well I am a Introvert type of guy, but can be extrovert when I want. But even going out I would be the quiestest one of the group.

Like I feel more secure at home doing nothing and then being outside. Like I consider myself a very self-conscience guy who takes a lot of thinking, before I do stuff which is annoying because I shouldn't have to think what I wan't to do in any circumstances.

I take things to heart over the littlest things so when a mate will make a joke about me I take it to heart and usually cause a argument. While when I am at home I don't need to worry what people have to say, only if I don't hear what they say

When I want to do stuff, sometimes I take walks by myself and it is wierd because I am bound to walk into 3 or 4 people that I know and they will ask questions. e.g "why you walking alone?". Usually I say because I want to.

It is also wierd because my mum iis always telling me to go out and socialize and stuff like that but sometimes I enjoy being at home. But don't get me wrong I still have a good social life, and for me to go out and stuff it would have to be with people who I have let into my inner circle
A inner circle is for people who know me very truely and stuff and doesn't judge.

The rest are just friends and nothing more

Grizz
July 09, 2009, 10:16 AM
I would say am b Extrovert. the reason because am not the type of guy who likes to be alone, it makes me feel uncomfortable, not so much of being alone, but its just that i don't like staying in one place and doign nothing. i wud rather just text or call my friends and hangout with them as much as possible.. but just like blai said, lately ive been feeling like just being alone, its like everyone am with seems to be annoying me at some level which drives me crazy, being alone its best thing am doign lately.

Its weird, like ive got so many friends who keep inviting me to go out with them, but am just not interested, its like on sunday, one of my friend invited me out to spend the da with, usually i would be up for it, but this time i didnt even care a single bit, its like am going through this drout which i just prefer being on my own, i dont even go out to link girls anymore, any girls who calls ma fone, i reject the call.. its been weird lately.. i keep rejecting everyone, all my friends included..

its like i just want to stay in my room on my boxes and just nothing througout the whole, but surfing the net ya know...

I wouldnt call myslf introvert because, i like having fun...

Blackthornhiei
July 12, 2009, 06:18 PM
I wouldnt call myslf introvert because, i like having fun...

Being an introvert doesn't mean that we don't like fun. We just have a different concept of fun, and prefer solitary activities over group ones.

Just today I had a fun noon, on my own, walking at my own pace, and settling down in a quiet corner of a nice cafe to have lunch with my book (an extrovert would find the concept of eating alone quite disconcerting).

There's also the misconception that introverts are shut-ins. We do go through long periods of not going out of our houses. In fact, I spend most of my weekends in my room, either reading, watching tv, playing video games, in front of the computer or working on plushies.

But we also like to go out. I do a lot of internal tourism. And I also like going to Guatemala. Usually I do all of these in the company of my inmediate family or really close friends.

Grizz
July 13, 2009, 12:56 AM
Being an introvert doesn't mean that we don't like fun. We just have a different concept of fun, and prefer solitary activities over group ones.

Just today I had a fun noon, on my own, walking at my own pace, and settling down in a quiet corner of a nice cafe to have lunch with my book (an extrovert would find the concept of eating alone quite disconcerting).

There's also the misconception that introverts are shut-ins. We do go through long periods of not going out of our houses. In fact, I spend most of my weekends in my room, either reading, watching tv, playing video games, in front of the computer or working on plushies.

But we also like to go out. I do a lot of internal tourism. And I also like going to Guatemala. Usually I do all of these in the company of my inmediate family or really close friends.

I cudnt go to a cafe and just sit and read a book...

L0ki
July 14, 2009, 02:38 AM
I am an island and I love it.

sindergi
July 14, 2009, 09:47 AM
Im introvert person - the only exception is flirting etc. Dont know why but with this I had never a problem.....

Grizz
July 14, 2009, 01:36 PM
Flirting comes naturally to me 2.. lol

faintsmile1992
November 10, 2011, 04:56 PM
Im introvert person - the only exception is flirting etc. Dont know why but with this I had never a problem.....


Flirting comes naturally to me 2.. lol

Yep, me too... its because although I'm strongly introverted, I do have traits associated with both risk taking and high self-confidence. As such, I have no difficulty flirting with people, in fact I fail to learn from repeated feelings of rejection, lol.

I've never kept a relationship for longer than too months.

benelori
November 10, 2011, 05:37 PM
Does flirting necessary involve rejection?...well in a sense yeah, but I wouldn't say rejection, that's a bit too harsh I think...maybe not interesting, or maybe boring...

Anyways...on topic...it does take a while for me to actually get the spirit to enter in a relationship...I'm just not really into that...well for now I least...
Introversion...I can be quite introverted sometimes, and reclusive...though it's not a dominant trait, I think

faintsmile1992
November 10, 2011, 05:41 PM
Does flirting necessary involve rejection?...well in a sense yeah, but I wouldn't say rejection, that's a bit too harsh I think...maybe not interesting, or maybe boring...

Well no, but the same pushiness also leads to my relationships breaking down because I wan't to take things too fast. So my sexual aggression works against me in the long run.

shaheer
November 16, 2011, 11:58 PM
well i am an introvert in general, if i get friendly with someone i get quite talkative, if i am not friendly with sb then thats another issue we can be sitting beside each other for an hr without me opening my mouth.
Havnet ever been in a relation though, i have a some responsibility as the eldest son & felt like i ll have to cut my duties if i ever ambled into a relationship.
I am your academic fellow, i study, eat sleep, :D hang out with friends, watch anime, read mangas, chat some times, read books, play console games, try to help my family(parents nd sibling)
it may sound odd but thats how i am
other than that i dun imagine any girl would ever want to be with a boring fella like me any way so its not like i am saying i m too cool to be with any one either

otomo20
November 25, 2011, 12:02 PM
Arent we all introverts?

The cool people are all out clubbing, we're here talking about naruto ^.^

blai
November 25, 2011, 12:24 PM
Nah, I'm a "cool guy who goes out clubbing" but I can still enjoy a forum for that. Heck, I moderate one. One being a manga/anime fan doesn't necessarily say anything about a persons intro/extroversion.

kkck
November 25, 2011, 12:36 PM
I myself am also an introvert although for me it is more of a matter of getting used to someone so to speak. I don't consider everyone I meet to be a friend, at best acquaintances and only once I get a feel of what that person is like I open up so to speak. I actually had a fun discussion with a close friend of mine regarding our views on friendship. You would see her talking about people who by my standards be an acquaintance as if they would give her a kidney without a second thought and she would talk of a guy who by my standards would be the sort of friend you hang out every few weeks or so as if they were closer than Siamese twins (I was forced to this comparison because usually it does not get closer than giving someone a kidney however that is how she feels about her acquaintances so...).... I enjoy going clubbing, going to bars and parties although in general I would prefer having someone to go with rather than going hunting so to speak.

faintsmile1992
November 25, 2011, 09:53 PM
I'm much more of an introvert, but I don't feel inferior or anything, I can hold a group of peoples attention but then I go back to reclusiveness. I really don't like events such as parties very much, nor do I like most people.

Asarii
November 27, 2011, 01:28 AM
I'm introverted. (I'm an INFJ-type actually.) I'm not a fan of huge gatherings so I decline or don't reply when I get invited to house parties- it's simply not my thing. For a shy person, I mingle with people online better.

xi0
November 27, 2011, 02:49 AM
I'm introverted. (I'm an INFJ-type actually.) I'm not a fan of huge gatherings so I decline or don't reply when I get invited to house parties- it's simply not my thing. For a shy person, I mingle with people online better.

Funny you brought up, I've taken the Jung Typology test twice and tested INFP the first time and INTP the second. I didn't score particularly high in any of the 4 categories though.

I'm not delusional...I know I'm introverted, but it's mostly a choice or just my nature. It's not as thought I'm incapable of carrying a conversation with a random person, or that I'm a disaster in a social setting, it's quite the opposite. I just prefer not being in those situations. So I'm an Extroverted-Introvert if that makes sense :XD

wizzard
December 12, 2011, 04:40 AM
Arent we all introverts?

The cool people are all out clubbing, we're here talking about naruto ^.^

You got it all wrong the cool ppl are all here and everyone else is out there clubbing :D

Being An INTP i'd like to say Introverted means more having a life in you own head as well as real life (but that's my N speaking) actually i'm super noisy fella who like ppl being alone and almost everything else, i even did bunjee once (i wanna repeat that and some skydiving too (this life if possible)) the idea about the book and the cafe was so cool i should try it sometime, rooftops and benches in some brachy corner of the park are also very nice places , about the problem we were supposed to be discussing , the place where you search is rly important imagine you're ome1 you wish to meet and you also want to meet some1 (being that person) try to guess where he would hang out :) and try going there and talking to ppl they are not that scary, (xcept the druggies and the hentais) if his a jurk kick him that's all :)


I like thinking i got best of both words Introverted-Extroverted

being an introvert i feel like i should make my inner life accessible to whoever i want to be my friend, the problem is no1 till now have been able to handle it :D any ideas going easy it's not an option

rudorofu
January 29, 2012, 08:06 PM
I tend to be an introvert when it comes to people who I've just met, but once I start to get a feel of a friendly atmosphere from them that's when I kind of change into an extrovert. Depending on the situation, I can be pretty shy and non-talkative, but other times when I feel comfortable I'll be loud and very into conversations. In terms of making long-lasting relationships, I guess you just have to put effort into creating friendships and bonds that you would like to keep. The longest friendship I've had was 6 years with an ex-best friend and longest relationship was my only one which lasted nearly 3 years. Instead of having a lot of friends, I like to keep several close ones who I know will always be there for me.

kdowns
January 30, 2012, 11:01 PM
I am completely a introverted person, I have tried to fix it, but it just seems impossible... Don't even get me started on the relationship status of it..

kkck
January 30, 2012, 11:26 PM
Well, introversion in itself is not something to fix, it is not a character flaw so to speak. It is a legitimate personality type basically. Of course, it is possible (and perhaps common) to have actual problems which are called or associated with introversion even though they shouldn't... Overall, social ineptitude is not in itself introversion as there are plenty of introverted people who are not socially inept (admittedly I am both lol).

xi0
January 31, 2012, 01:18 AM
Well, introversion in itself is not something to fix, it is not a character flaw so to speak. It is a legitimate personality type basically. Of course, it is possible (and perhaps common) to have actual problems which are called or associated with introversion even though they shouldn't... Overall, social ineptitude is not in itself introversion as there are plenty of introverted people who are not socially inept (admittedly I am both lol).

Really good point. It's about whether you're satisfied with the way you are in respects to introversion or extroversion. I'm a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde when it comes to which way I lean, so it isn't really black and white for me. I'm not at all socially inept though, I just prefer to be alone more often than not (which is somewhat related to social anxiety...but it's hard to explain)

Naomidee
January 31, 2012, 01:38 AM
I'm half and half too. I like to do things alone most of the time. It seems like people get lonely so easily to me. It takes a lot for me to truly get lonesome and that's why I prefer to sit by myself in class, go shopping on my own, and go to the movies alone as well. Gary knows how much I love doing that. It's one of my favorite things to do. I never understood the people who have to be with someone else or they feel really awkward and anxious or something. I find being alone an extremely comfortable thing. I don't mind eating alone either. Solitude is bliss. I don't know if that makes me an introvert though. I have no problem talking with people and being in a social setting. I love hanging out with friends and meeting new people, but I definitely have to be in the mood for it.

But give me alcohol and I'm the most extroverted person you'll ever meet. :fail

Did I mention that I really like to drink alone sometimes too? :p

Needless to say that definitely effects all relationships that I have. I can't stand clingy people. Just don't know how to deal with them.

xi0
January 31, 2012, 01:42 AM
All of that sounds normal aside from regularly drinking alone :oh

And alcohol is the great equalizer, for pretty much anyone. It affects people in varying degrees, but it usually always brings people out of their shell a bit.

I think everyone feels lonely every once and while, but solitude can also be a great way to just decompress from the day or week. I always hear girls mentioning "me time", but I think something like that exists for everyone.

faintsmile1992
January 31, 2012, 01:50 AM
In my case I never feel lonely, I feel lonesome for someone special however, that's just instinct. And I can entertain a crowd, but I just want to be alone once I've got what I need. Is anyone else like that here?

Much of the trouble I was responsible for at school was me getting others to do things, because I hated having to put up with other people behind a false mask every day, so causing them trouble for the shits and giggles turned it into fun for me. After a while they caught on to how I was messing with them and I became unpopular, which suited me too lol.

xi0
January 31, 2012, 02:14 AM
In my case I never feel lonely, I feel lonesome for someone special however, that's just instinct. And I can entertain a crowd, but I just want to be alone once I've got what I need. Is anyone else like that here?

What exactly do you mean by getting what you need?

But I do agree on being socially fun and then wanting to be alone, that's something I've experienced before.

Gats
January 31, 2012, 06:25 AM
I'm clearly introverted. Quite reclusive in a large group of people or a group of strangers at all. Very talkative with close friends, or when I know the topic very well. Actually I can be really extrovert in intimity with anyone, especially when it's a short relationship like a doctor, or a relationship with a clear pupose (specific activity together) etc. That's why that going out with the sole purpose of chit chat (however there are few exceptions) isn't appealing to me.

It didn't really bother me until quite recently.

xi0
January 31, 2012, 06:44 AM
I'm clearly introverted. Quite reclusive in a large group of people or a group of strangers at all. Very talkative with close friends, or when I know the topic very well. Actually I can be really extrovert in intimity with anyone, especially when it's a short relationship like a doctor, or a relationship with a clear pupose (specific activity together) etc. That's why that going out with the sole purpose of chit chat (however there are few exceptions) isn't appealing to me.

It didn't really bother me until quite recently.

Chit-chat didn't bother you until recently? What happened?

Gats
January 31, 2012, 07:17 AM
Chit-chat didn't bother you until recently? What happened?

I said that chit-chat in general isn't appealing to me.

What bother me now is the whole attitude. I changed city for studies and now I live in a place where I basically know almost nobody. All people (but 1) I share a link with are 680 km away at least. ><

xi0
January 31, 2012, 07:24 AM
I said that chit-chat in general isn't appealing to me.

What bother me now is the whole attitude. I changed city for studies and now I live in a place where I basically know almost nobody. All people (but 1) I share a link with are 680 km away at least. ><

Ah yeah. I guess sometimes starting anew like that and trying to meet more people doesn't really sound appealing.

faintsmile1992
January 31, 2012, 09:25 AM
What exactly do you mean by getting what you need?

I mean that I would avoid interaction unless its useful to me, in the broadest sense of the word.


But I do agree on being socially fun and then wanting to be alone, that's something I've experienced before.

Fun for others? I can do that, but it isn't fun for me, its a drain. Even posting on forums can be a drain.

"I find no stimulation in watching ordinary people trying to put the make on other uninteresting people. I can fix my own cup of coffee and not have to look at or talk to other people. No matter where I go, I stimulate others, and have been doing so all my life. It used to be I'd sometimes get stimulated back." - Anton Szandor LaVey

xi0
January 31, 2012, 09:32 AM
I think social interaction has any number of benefits, I don't have to hang out with people with the stipulation that I have to know how it benefits me before I do it.

Well anything that isn't fun would be a drain. I just think you shouldn't have a pretext for why you interact with people, it sort of seems like too much of a bother :XD

Naomidee
January 31, 2012, 01:21 PM
It's normal to take a while to adapt to a new living situation, Gats, especially when you're going in blind without knowing anyone. It's difficult to get to know people when you don't already have someone to introduce you and go to parties with blah blah. School and work are always the best places to start. And really.... Sometimes the only places to start. :sweat

Having a pretext for interacting with people? I guess I never really thought about it. :rofl Why in the world would you need one in the first place I wonder. I admit that no matter how much I love me time, it would suck to be alone all of the time. I know I'm pretty self-centered, but not so much so that I run out of ways to entertain myself after a while. I need someone else's sense of humor to compliment mine and generally just spend time with someone that I care about, even if it's just a few times a month.

Besides, you're never going to change anything if you're cooped up to yourself for the rest of your life. I believe that to leave a mark on the world, you have to at least have some roots weaved in the ground and get tangled with a few other people. Who the hell wants to go their whole life without ever moving something?

Gats
January 31, 2012, 02:44 PM
It's normal to take a while to adapt to a new living situation, Gats, especially when you're going in blind without knowing anyone. It's difficult to get to know people when you don't already have someone to introduce you and go to parties with blah blah. School and work are always the best places to start. And really.... Sometimes the only places to start. :sweat

Having a pretext for interacting with people? I guess I never really thought about it. :rofl Why in the world would you need one in the first place I wonder. I admit that no matter how much I love me time, it would suck to be alone all of the time. I know I'm pretty self-centered, but not so much so that I run out of ways to entertain myself after a while. I need someone else's sense of humor to compliment mine and generally just spend time with someone that I care about, even if it's just a few times a month.

Besides, you're never going to change anything if you're cooped up to yourself for the rest of your life. I believe that to leave a mark on the world, you have to at least have some roots weaved in the ground and get tangled with a few other people. Who the hell wants to go their whole life without ever moving something?

Oh I'm well aware of that. But it doesn't make me at ease at all. Besides my current studies don't help for that. :)

xi0
February 01, 2012, 02:28 AM
Oh I'm well aware of that. But it doesn't make me at ease at all. Besides my current studies don't help for that. :)

A convenient excuse :p ...and trust me, I know many of them :derp

---------- Post added at 02:28 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:25 AM ----------


Besides, you're never going to change anything if you're cooped up to yourself for the rest of your life. I believe that to leave a mark on the world, you have to at least have some roots weaved in the ground and get tangled with a few other people. Who the hell wants to go their whole life without ever moving something?

Here, here. Maybe the saddest thing that I can think of is having no one remember you, or never affecting others lives. It can be the simplest thing, but given how insignificant we are in the Universe, we're remember through interaction with others who are just as insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It's beautiful in a way.

Aazholh
February 15, 2012, 09:55 PM
I find it hard to connect with other people. Even here on the internet. It's great when you do find like-minded people to hang with, but they're so hard to come by in real life. There's times that I wish I could have a group of friends to have good times with. Other people make it look so easy...

xi0
February 16, 2012, 12:06 AM
I find it hard to connect with other people. Even here on the internet. It's great when you do find like-minded people to hang with, but they're so hard to come by in real life. There's times that I wish I could have a group of friends to have good times with. Other people make it look so easy...

You have to put yourself out there...chemistry doesn't happen by accident.

Teubier
February 16, 2012, 06:39 AM
Funny you brought up, I've taken the Jung Typology test twice and tested INFP the first time and INTP the second. I didn't score particularly high in any of the 4 categories though.
I'll try again in a few months to see how it evolves. I might understand why I like Ging's character so much with this INTJ result.

Aazholh
February 16, 2012, 09:11 PM
You have to put yourself out there...chemistry doesn't happen by accident.

Afraid to say that it's an acquired skill for me; which I'm still trying to master.

xi0
February 16, 2012, 10:50 PM
Afraid to say that it's an acquired skill for me; which I'm still trying to master.

Meh, it comes easier to some than others. If there's a will there's a way.


*starting to sound like Hallmark cards :oh*

earthforge
February 17, 2012, 01:59 AM
It's hard to say. I'm considered and effectively an introvert because I do enjoy evenings in my room so I can center and focus myself back to who I am and why I am here - ever so important to me. Yet I have been told I "try too hard" to make friendships, and have gotten burned often. I want badly to be a good friend, but not everyone wants a good friend. As for relationships, I haven't had any. The closest I have ever gotten was a classmate who I liked and he liked me, but it unnerved the heck out of him that I was younger and more certain of the mechanics of the world, which conflicted with his own views. I still talk with him, but he gets so conflicted that he sometimes just doesn't talk to me for months and then he reaches out spontaneously. I really can't get it.

xi0
February 17, 2012, 02:03 AM
It's hard to say. I'm considered and effectively an introvert because I do enjoy evenings in my room so I can center and focus myself back to who I am and why I am here - ever so important to me. Yet I have been told I "try too hard" to make friendships, and have gotten burned often. I want badly to be a good friend, but not everyone wants a good friend. As for relationships, I haven't had any. The closest I have ever gotten was a classmate who I liked and he liked me, but it unnerved the heck out of him that I was younger and more certain of the mechanics of the world, which conflicted with his own views. I still talk with him, but he gets so conflicted that he sometimes just doesn't talk to me for months and then he reaches out spontaneously. I really can't get it.

Not to feed into any stereotypes, but he may just be threatened by you intellectually? By your description it sounds like that might be the case.

You shouldn't have to "try" to be a good friend in my opinion.

Teubier
February 17, 2012, 02:50 AM
You have to put yourself out there...chemistry doesn't happen by accident.Afraid to say that it's an acquired skill for me; which I'm still trying to master.Meh, it comes easier to some than others. If there's a will there's a way.

I agree. However, I think that it works better if the said will exists while being unbeknownst to one of the two (or even better to the two). I reckon that an introvert might very well over-over think and could end up putting herself/himself out there in a pretty wrong manner.

xi0
February 17, 2012, 03:01 AM
I agree. However, I think that it works better if the said will exists while being unbeknownst to one of the two (or even better to the two). I reckon that an introvert might very well over-over think and could end up putting herself/himself out there in a pretty wrong manner.

That's true, but failure is always the best way to learn :cookiehand


:fail

Zeltrax
February 18, 2012, 08:39 PM
I'm clearly introverted. Quite reclusive in a large group of people or a group of strangers at all. Very talkative with close friends, or when I know the topic very well. Actually I can be really extrovert in intimity with anyone, especially when it's a short relationship like a doctor, or a relationship with a clear pupose (specific activity together) etc. That's why that going out with the sole purpose of chit chat (however there are few exceptions) isn't appealing to me.

It didn't really bother me until quite recently.
Wow, that's seriously like me. I mean, that's how I roll too :hip
I never found chit-chat interesting unless it's with close friends and I shy away from them,
I'm always the kind that "if I talk to this guy, there have to be some sort of reason" in which, I don't go and talk to that guy for nowhatsoever reason.

Yet deep inside me, I'm actually someone that wants to be popular and will try to be social to others. It isn't something that I'm doing, it's just something that I desire naturally when I step into school.
I find it way easier to talk to one or 2 people that I don't really know than a group of people that I don't really know, I'm actually the kind of guy that's fine with any topic.