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bittman
June 10, 2008, 09:14 PM
Bitts Presents:

One Piece – Chapter 502 Review
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Gay clowns tried to stop me this week...again...

Introduction:
HEY MANGAHELPERS! =D

Back again, now later than ever before! But I digress, I can beat my terrible scheduling of my to-do list later and look forward to some time typing up a mediocre review and lurking around watching the pageviews climb to make me feel popular. I've added a new section this week to my scoring, but decided against using parabolic equations to obtain a better score at the last minute. The scoring will now be split into plot (past, present, future of story and its effects on geeky manga fans), art (cleanliness, attention to detail, epicness, size of boobs) and production (how dialogue, image impact and setting mingle to maximise drama as “Bold and the Beautiful” perfected) all scored equally. Warning, this is not funny and I got serious (kinda sorta notreally).

Thanks again to Basement Scans, it appears I've become a regular user of your stuff without realising it. Partly because they scan quick enough to attract the eyes of my constant refresh-frenzy on the chapter RTS thread and partly because I imagine a bunch of nerds in a basement scanning One Piece and feel much better about myself. I'd also like to thank the 10/10 blonde that danced with me for all of 2 seconds on the weekend. Thanks to that brief 2 seconds, I won the night even after my mates danced with 3 chicks each. Believe it or not, my testostorone does have an effect on my review.

So without any further adieu:

Chapter Breakdown:

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SPOILER: He dies in the next panel

The chapter begins by completely ignoring the Ace crisis at the end of last chapter and moving back to one of the largest immoral bad guys to be showcased on One Piece. Though not strong or evil in the sense of wrath, Chalros (Charles imo) ticks all the right boxes for the other six sins of humanity (that's from the original seven, not the new gay ones which might as well say “Haha, you're all fucked now”). Lust, greed, gluttony, pride, envy and sloth all fit this noble particularly well and compared to his I-won-the-lottery-of-life father and his I'm-really-into-masochism sister, Charles takes the prize for “Biggest Tenryuubito Wanker” without competition. I like him after writing all that bad stuff about him. Many recent enemies have either had the depth of a gamefaqs guide to Bejewelled or haven't been so much pro-evil as much as pro-killStrawhats to be enemies that the public would love to see get sent flying with a kick.

Geez I get sidetracked...After Charles gets rid of another slave carelessly, he mentions how much he would like a mermaid and predictability strikes. We find our Tenryuubito's on Shabondy are in fact all of one family. To me, this is actually an interesting point since I expect the families to have certain differences between them. As an addendum to that point, I also expect that the World Nobles (five guys in charge) are in fact direct ancestors of one family each. Though we've come to the notion that the Tenryuubito are just spoilt afterthoughts of a once Spartan group of kings, think of it in a different light. If the World Nobles are the kings/presidents/primeministers of the WG, then attacking a family member is literally a direct attack against the state rather than a “P.S.” at the end of the treaty of whatever-the-hell-war-they-dont-want-anyone-to-know-about.

And now (finally) I catch up to the nice piccie I put two paragraphs above. The sale just before the giant is a 17mil beri pirate who is quite possibly one of the ugliest characters I have seen to date. The “Devious Tactician” makes his move by commiting suicide in front of the entire crowd. *whips out banner* SOMEONE DIED IN ONE PIECE AND NOT IN A FLASHBACK! Actually, you're not reading One Piece if you thought this. Forget Spandam? What about the Tsumegeri Guards? (Google them) Anyway, not only is this a death, a suicide is even harsher. I feel Oda has been leaning towards a better sense of realism pertaining to the limits of the human body lately, especially after the fiasco that was the Jaya/Sky Island and the Alabasta arc. Now when I say “I think Whitebeard will die”, don't say no on the basis that Oda doesn't kill because he loves peace, rainbows and candy and has the middle name Jesus. If more time had been spent on it, I would say that Lacueva's decision for a pubic suicide was actually tactical in the sense of bringing a sense of realism to the patheticly naïve nobles which sit in the audience. However, his 4 panels make the Tsumegeri Guards' deaths actually seem sad.


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Buy one, get one-pointlessly-large-easily-broken-completely-featureless-fishbowl free!

With the shock death of an ugly man whose parents should have practiced contraception better, the Slave Traders decide to re-sweeten the sour crowd with a sale of sugar. After a highly dubious explanation of a nosebleed that would have made the result of Nami's “Happiness Punch” attack look mellow, Disco Stu reveals the giant fishbowl and the overly cute Camie who, in a few shots, looks like Nami's race-differential sister. Before the bidding even begins, Charles prematurely ejaculates bids the equivalent of 6¼ Robins. This blows the Strawhats and their estimated 4 million Choppers right out of the water as well as the rest of the crowd who probably would have lost to the bets of the Strawhats otherwise (especially with Nami in charge). I'm slightly disappointed that it took this route since I was interested on seeing a bidding war and something auction related on the giant or Rayleigh, but that looks more unlikely than me getting paid for enjoying life.

After the peasants begin breathing again, Hacchi actually suggests breaking Camie out by force even with the World Nobles around. From these words, and his future-actions, it appears Hacchi is still punishing himself for the life of a pirate he led. Hacchi is clearly a much deeper character here than the idiotic, punch-first-ask-questions-later, oblivious-as-sin merman we knew from the Arlong Park arc. To me, Hacchi is seriously a high possibility for Strawhat membership alongside Camie (and Papagg?), but at the least it is probable they will become part time members (like Vivi) and accompany the Strawhats to Fishman Island. We know Hacchi has a flashbackflash coming concerning Rayleigh/Shakkie interaction and probably why he turned to pirateering, and no-one would be able to give a firsthand account of the discrimination of a few years ago better than a friendly fishman. Flashback's aren't unheard of for non-Strawhat members (Waipa got a lot), but they are rare. Top this with the history between himself and Nami, his uniqueness in regards to the Strawhats as they stand and the fact he has six arms which will make for some awesome fondling oppurtunities, and I'm liking the idea more and more of Hacchi the Strawhat. Of course, Camie and Papagg will follow him wherever because Camie want's to give him her eggs (that's right, its reverse in fishworld. Sucks to be a canonincal hentai artist now!).

And then, Guaaaaahhhhh!! Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhh!!! Gruaaaaaahhhhhhh!!! Yes, Luffy expresses what we all feel and words cannot describe while smashing into the Slave House, but actually hoping for it to look cool and stylish. Ahh, it must be awesome to be so simple. On a side note, Zoro cracks me up for wondering why they were in such a rush to get back to the Sunny on Grove 1. Though I should spend this paragraph on Luffy's arrival, I'll just save it and continue from it after the next picture below. Instead, I'm going to look at Kid and his freaky Super Saiyan Frieza appearance. Kidd has appeared in way too many panels for my initial liking, but in retrospect it is possible this is setting up something more. If we look at Gol D. Roger and the many comparisons to Luffy, I can put a link to things Roger had that Luffy also has, or will most likely have in the future. An enforcing second-in-command: Rayleigh / Zoro. A ship built from the tree of Adam: Oro Jackson / Thousand Sunny. A marine chasing him to the ends of the Earth: Garp / Smoker. An eternal pirate rival: Whitebeard / ???. Though we all wrote of Kidd because he does look like fish chowder, Luffy is missing something very integral to his development: A pirate rival. Luffy's rivals are basically those he has fought and not defeated the first time (Smoker and Aokoji), but both suffer from being marines which are naturally against him and not trying to beat him to the goal of the One Piece. Though I think Blackbeard is the ultimate pirate enemy, I can't see him as Luffy's “rival” so much as someone they will need to defeat for “world peace” or something like that. Kidd may fill this hole, but I won't say that for sure. With all these pirates around though, it is a good thing to keep in mind.


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Luffy looks like he just saw a nice piece of meat. Pun intended. Camie is a fish.

As almost everyone, everywhere, who has read One Piece for more than 2 chapters predicted, Luffy charges ahead without care or concern for the state of things. I did say I was gonna spend time on Luffy, but I'm a compulsive liar because Hacchi unwittingly takes the discriminatory stage. By trying to help out and hold Luffy back, Hacchi uses his extra arms to just show he isn't as smart as I thought he had become. The crowd reacts in disgust and fear while Luffy continues on while gay clowns charge in from all around. Though it seems weird they didn't notice the pink rubbery skin or the sucker mouth, whatever let's just flow with it. The discrimination appears disgusting and intentionally degrading from the crowd, but you have to think of it in context. What the crowd is, is certainly not the 'bad guys' but just 'poorly educated'. No world exists like ours where information is free and discrimination is, practically, a thing of the past though idiots keep ratting on about it like it's still happening today in a widespread context. The One Piece world, in fact, has often displayed the misinformation across the world and thus you cannot really blame the people for being naïve, discriminatory and ugly. Just blame the top World Nobles, they're really good for anything you want to blame nowdays.

However, while the chaos erupts with the crowd shocked at Hacchi, the Strawhats shocked at the crowd and myself shocked that Papagg continues to get dialogue and in fact has teeth, carnage incarnate reveals himself....ok not really, but it gets more dramatic than a teenage girl with PMS.



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Luffy – Gear LineShadows

What follows feels like something awesome and I hope any anime adaptation of this keeps it as awesome as I imagine it to be. Like in the movies, a shot rings out amongst the gaggle of geese and stops the entire cast of the set to halt and see what happened. I must admit I did not see this coming, though Charles is arrogant and a prick in general, to be brave enough to take on a fishman, who was seen as more of a monster than thoughtful being, really adds weight to the Tenryuubito character. It's not just that they know their status is highly regarded and abuse this, but Charles seems to think himself of truly invincible. Though it may appear to be simple egotism, it is most likely a character flaw developed over centuries of the Tenryuubito's existance in which they were never challenged despite their henious actions. Though I can't say for sure, I can hypothesise that Roger never challenged the Tenryuubito either since I have the feeling any challenge against them would have checked this attitude for another century. That said, it is possible another decade or two of complacency has taken the Tenryuubito back to their cockiness level to rival the hardest of hardasses on the school playground.

The Hollywood drama that unfolds is simply, for lack of better words, fucking awesome. The taunts of the enemy, Nami's newfound forgiveness and emotion for her once opressor, the sneer of the bourgeoise crowd, Camie's tears, Hacchi's bleeding heart and Luffy's wrath. Throw the lot into a cauldron and add some tabasco sauce and this scene becomes the best thing I've seen for drama since Brooke's flashback. I put the above picture in as an homage to the production of the chapter since it was this very part that gave me the surging feel in the pit of my stomach which moved to my crotch at the last page.

Putting aside the strange things that get me hard, Luffy is truly an awesome main character who reminds everyone of their childhood hero Goku and can rape the ass of any new main characters who get emo twice daily (Naruto), lose more than they win (Ichigo), are pussies (Sena) or are too smart and make you feel dumb (Ed Elric). Truthfully, when the first nobody pirate was killed by the Tenryuubito, I was surprised Luffy stood by and watched. To me, the threat of an Admiral would mean little to him by any standard, but I suppose causing trouble while Hacchi directly requested that you didn't is acceptable.

Since I like predicting one chapter ahead in 'predictions', I'll say what I think the fallout of the awesome HULK SMASH on Charles (di Britannia) will do for the world. Though the talk has been of an Admiral being sent out, truthfully it's hard to imagine the marines will in fact take any forces from their attack on Whitebeard. However, since I've already predicted Blackbeard will defeat Whitebeard, I do think the marines will withdraw an Admiral (or at least send a half decent force) to Shabondy under order of the World Nobles who will say something like “an action like this against the WG cannot go unpunished”. Aokoji showing up again would be too repetitive since we are perfectly aware of his power and the cuecard from Oda put him as the “Strongest Marine”. Akainu would be good since he has already been established as the “absolute justice” and somewhat evil admiral from Robin's flashback, while Kizaru would be good just for an appearance beyond his first mention. I wouldn't place bets on a Shichibukai since the WG wouldn't trust a pirate to defeat another pirate on this basis, though Kuma is a slight possibility outweighed by the fact that I think he will be the enemy when Doctor Vegapunk is finally revealed. Also, if they do withdraw forces from the Whitebeard fight, Luffy has already inadvertantly helped save Ace which will hopefully mean Luffy doesn't go to save his brother. Because a Logia user that powerful will just make Luffy look bad.

Main Chapter Points:

Someone committed suicide in One Piece. We'll have proper nudity before you know it.
Chaos descends before the auction of the giant or Rayleigh.
Hacchi is more of a good and thoughtful guy(merman) now rather than the idiot he was. Nami has also clearly forgiven him. Looking prime for Strawhat membership.
Luffy was pissed. It's rarer than you think.
Kidd is appearing in way too many panels for my liking.


Chapter Rating:
Plot:
In the grand scheme of things, not much actually happened in this entire chapter. Aside from Luffy's awesome punch, which will result in equally spectacular fallout, the majority of the chapter was spent developing the character of Hacchi and a teenage boy in a grown Tenryuubito's body.

6/10

Art:
Another slightly messy chapter with more closeups on faces and expressions with way too much dialogue thrown over some panels to be worthy of praise they might have otherwise earnt. Though the double was plot-itically awesome, it was messy and took me a few glances to realise that it was probably the intention to showcase Luffy's rage and power.

4/10

Production:
Until about page 12, the chapter was actually rather boring. But once the Hacchi drama unfolded, the panels and dialogue seemed to be flawless to the point of eroticism. The pacing and emotion carried seemed to flow so well that I forgot the first 11 pages almost entirely, however in retrospect this is a bad thing.

7/10

Overall:
Above 'average' and severely let down by the first 11 pages which “created the setting”, but I couldn't help but feel it was just being dragged out so the last 7 pages became more epic.

17/30

Predictions:
The next chapter will obviously be the direct fallout of Luffy's punch. Either the crowd will freak or be completely stunned while the two surviving (seriously, how could you live a luffy punch as a nobody?) Tenryuubito probably rant about their status. I think Rayleigh will have to do something soon or else be lost to a better story than the past of Roger, but I hope the focus will shift off Luffy slightly. If an Admiral is already coming, I feel Law or Kidd (who didnt appear in this chapter) might kidnap/attack the other Tenryuubito. That said, it is highly possible all the supernova's will turn on the Strawhats and evict them from Shabondy to save their own skin. Camie might actually stay captive as hostage for the next chapter though it would appear obvious she will be taken back.

Also, the female Tenryuubito will probably want Luffy's body. She seems sadistic like that and, let's face it, Luffy has a six-pack which rivals mine [/imagination]

Goji
June 11, 2008, 07:18 AM
Bittman, I got to say I love reading your reviews. They make a nice read next to Sahugani and Absolutio's reviews. Your humor is just awesome. XD

Not only does your review posses a lot of dry, sexual, synical, etc... humour, it also has a few nice theories. ^^ I especially like your prediction about the possible future of Kidd as Luffy's rival to becoming Pirate King/finding One Piece.

Looking forward to your next one!

ps: hope you feel a little more popular now :p

fenix2012
June 11, 2008, 10:28 AM
Man awsome thanks keep it up .truly great jokes great analysis ))

bittman
June 11, 2008, 06:56 PM
Bittman, I got to say I love reading your reviews. They make a nice read next to Sahugani and Absolutio's reviews. Your humor is just awesome. XD

Not only does your review posses a lot of dry, sexual, synical, etc... humour, it also has a few nice theories. ^^ I especially like your prediction about the possible future of Kidd as Luffy's rival to becoming Pirate King/finding One Piece.

Looking forward to your next one!

ps: hope you feel a little more popular now :p

I also judge my popularity by the size of paypal payments. I'll pm you my paypal later k?


Man awsome thanks keep it up .truly great jokes great analysis ))

I also judge my popularity by the number of sexual encounters I have. I'll pm you my details later k?