"Darkness Embrace" My upcoming manga

[Fabutski]

Hello to evey manga fanatics like me! I'm new to MangaHelper, and as my first thread, I want to share with you 3 pages of my manga. Tell me what you think :D



http://fabutski.deviantart.com/#/d2q4k2r

http://fabutski.deviantart.com/#/d2q4ka8

http://fabutski.deviantart.com/#/d2tgm6p

[TitaniumChloride]

Thank you for sharing, since it means that you're moving forward on a long journey.

Let me just get something out of the way: The guy on the cover looks similar to Sasuke despite the red hair, but that's probably because you've used Naruto's style a lot.

Now here comes my personal opinion:

Your drawing skills aren't bad, but other that the fact that the setting is a cracked cave, we can't see much. The dialogue is not only worded a bit weird, but it also doesn't tell us much about what is happening.

You might be trying to make this a mysterious start, but it's very frustrating for me as a reader checking out a manga/comic for the first time, since all this mysterious stuff will only impact me once I have a grasp of the 'reality' in your creation. A large panel that shows more of the scenery might help with that.

To be honest, showing about 3 pages won't really hook anyone unless you have fantastic art or something else that people can relate to with such limited exposure. If you're really serious about this, finish drawing out the whole chapter. You might also want to think if this particular story is worth the time and effort a good manga -- no matter the skill level of the artist/author -- will require, and also why you're doing this; do you just want people to visit your devArt account, or do you actually want to entertain people? Or maybe there's some other reason.

Good luck with the rest of your work! Please keep in mind that I'm not saying this one 'ttly sux' or anything, I'm just saying that it can be better.

[Fabutski]

Thanks for the your personal opinion! I'm always open to sugestions. I'll keep in mind what you've said and I'll try to get better and better.