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Thread: The Bleach Humor thread

  1. #31
    Banned 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member
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    Green Grin Bleach Records

    Bleach Records

    BEST FIGHT EVER: Ganju vs. Ichigo (watch episode 23 of the anime XD)

    Quickest defeat:
    -1st place- Ichigo vs. Byakuya (1st fight): 0.07 seconds
    -2nd place- Komamura vs. Aizen: 1.1 seconds
    -3rd place- Chad vs. Nnoitra: 1.6 seconds

    Lowest number of victories against strong guys: Chad, Orihime, Renji: 0

    Lowest number of victories overall, despite having godlike powers: Orihime: 1

    Most embarassing defeat:
    -1st place- Deeroy : OHKOed by Rukia (also only adjucha level arrancar who was defeated without releasing)
    Note: Rukia is weak. Just accept it. She was defeated by a normal hollow.
    -2nd place- 1st, 2nd and 4th squad vice captains: OHKOed by Ichigo.
    Note2:If you have a more humillating defeat in mind, post it and I'll consider it.


    "Kurosaki kun" most times repeated: Orihime: 356 times

    "Aizen taichou" most times repeated: Hinamori: 78 times

    Highest number of non-small fry shinigami pwned: Aizen: 6 (Hinamori XD, Histugaya, Ichigo, Renji, Komamura, Kensei)

    Funniest quote ever: Yachiru: "I will stand in heaven" (refer to colorful bleach omake #31)

    Most times kidnapped: Orihime: 2 times

    Worst haircut: Shinji (Shinigami)

    Most times impaled/run through/stabbed: Rukia: 4

    Most different haircuts: Tousen: 4

    Worst bankai: Hihiou Zabimaru

    Most tsundere charachter:
    -1st place- Nanao
    -2nd place- Kuukaku

    Battle records W/D/L (until past arc)
    Kurosaki Ichigo: 11/3/6
    Zaraki Kenpachi: 1/1/0
    Abarai Renji: 1/0/4 (how sad...)
    Hitsugaya Toshirou: 1/1/1
    Kuchiki Rukia: 2/0/2
    Kuchiki Byakuya: 4/0/1
    Madarame Ikkaku: 1/0/1
    Matsumoto Rangiku: 2/0/0 (WTF? GT has a perfect record?)
    Shihouin Yoruichi: 2/0/0
    Urahara Kisuke: 2/0/0
    Ichimaru Gin: 1/1/0
    Tousen Kaname: 1/0/1
    Aizen Sousuke: 3/0/0 (you da man!)
    Sado Yasutora: 3/0/2
    Ishida Uryuu: 4/0/2
    Grand Fisher: 0/1/1 (R.I.P.)
    Grimmjow Jaggerjack: 2/0/2
    Ulquiorra Schiffer: 1/0/1
    Nnoitra Jiruga: 3/0/1
    Szayel Aporro Grantz: 1/0/1
    Yammi: 1/0/2



    Post your records HERE
    Last edited by sk.nite; June 06, 2008 at 12:30 PM.

  2. #32
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    Re: Bleach Records

    Quote Originally Posted by sk.nite View Post
    Quickest defeat:
    -1st place- Ichigo vs. Byakuya (1st fight): 0.07 seconds
    -2nd place- Komamura vs. Aizen: 1.1 seconds
    -3rd place- Chad vs. Nnoitra: 1.6 seconds (the time it took Nnoitra to say "Is that all you've got?" XD)
    I would say that the quickest defeat was probably Nanao vs. Yamamoto. Just as she was about to attack him to buy Shunsui and Ukitake more time, Yama-ji pwns her with reiatsu.

    Quote Quote:
    Lowest number of victories against strong guys: Chad, Orihime: 0
    This would depend on whom you would consider strong. In the earlier chapters, when our expectations were lower, they defeated some people whom we may have considered formiddable at the time (Orihime actually only defeated that hollow that controlled Tatsuki).

    Only based on our current perceptions of strength have the two of them not defeated anyone of merit, but if that is the case, then I would add Renji to your list as well. (I could add others too, but I think you are limiting yourself to fairly prominent characters.) The strongest (and only) guy Renji has ever defeated was Yylfordt, but he was weaker than Gantenbainne whom Chad defeated.

    Quote Quote:
    Most embarassing defeat: Deeroy : OHKO by Rukia (also only adjucha level arrancar who was defeated without releasing)
    What is so embarassing about being defeated by Rukia? She is a fairly competent shinigami (she's certainly more impressive than Renji even with his bankai ). Plus, Yylfordt did qualify his defeat at the hands of Rukia by stating that he was basically just an arrancar in name only and thus was rather weak.

    Quote Quote:
    Highest number of captain class shinigami pwned: Aizen: 6 (Hinamori XD, Histugaya, Ichigo, Renji, Komamura, Kensei)
    I realize that you are saying this with humorous intent, but Hinamori is nowhere near captain-class. (I also would not label Renji as captain-class either, since it is not just achieving bankai that makes you on the level of a captain.)

    Quote Quote:
    Funniest quote ever: Yachiru: "I will stand in heaven" (refer to colorful bleach omakes or official bootleg)
    I'm not judging your humor or anything, but I simply do not understand the humor of that statement. In what context is it made? (I am assuming the context is wherein the humor lies.)

  3. #33
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    Re: Bleach Records

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsukisama View Post
    I would say that the quickest defeat was probably Nanao vs. Yamamoto. Just as she was about to attack him to buy Shunsui and Ukitake more time, Yama-ji pwns her with reiatsu.
    I consider it a fight when both contendants draw their weapons .


    Quote Originally Posted by Tsukisama View Post
    This would depend on whom you would consider strong. In the earlier chapters, when our expectations were lower, they defeated some people whom we may have considered formiddable at the time (Orihime actually only defeated that hollow that controlled Tatsuki).

    Only based on our current perceptions of strength have the two of them not defeated anyone of merit, but if that is the case, then I would add Renji to your list as well. (I could add others too, but I think you are limiting yourself to fairly prominent characters.) The strongest (and only) guy Renji has ever defeated was Yylfordt, but he was weaker than Gantenbainne whom Chad defeated.
    You're right about this one. I'll add him to the list of eternal losers.


    Quote Originally Posted by Tsukisama View Post
    I realize that you are saying this with humorous intent, but Hinamori is nowhere near captain-class. (I also would not label Renji as captain-class either, since it is not just achieving bankai that makes you on the level of a captain.)
    I meant captain class in rank (T & FT), not power.


    Quote Originally Posted by Tsukisama View Post
    I'm not judging your humor or anything, but I simply do not understand the humor of that statement. In what context is it made? (I am assuming the context is wherein the humor lies.)
    You're correct, the humor is on the context. If you want know what that is then look at the omake. I have a thing against explaining jokes.

  4. #34
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    Re: Bleach Records

    Quote Originally Posted by sk.nite View Post
    I consider it a fight when both contendants draw their weapons.
    Nanao was in the process of drawing her weapon, and Yamamoto overwhelmed before she even had the chance to remove her zanpakutou (presumably) from her sleeve. It is evident that she was on the eve of starting something and thus was a willing opponent. In any event, if you were to count this, it would be the fastest defeat, as it would probably be on the order of milliseconds.

    Quote Quote:
    I meant captain class in rank (T & FT), not power.
    If you are referring to rank, then not only should Hinamori and Renji be excluded from the list but Ichigo as well, since none of them have the actual rank of captain. Power-wise, only Hinamori and Renji (he's not quite there yet) should be excluded.

    Quote Quote:
    You're correct, the humor is on the context. If you want know what that is then look at the omake. I have a thing against explaining jokes.
    Do have a reference to this omake? It would be more helpful than me having to search through the entire manga (and possibly the anime series and databook) for this.

  5. #35
    MH Senpai 有名人 / Yuumeijin / Celebrity patedecarne's Avatar
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    Re: Bleach Records

    Great topic, sk.nite!

    Is every kind of record allowed to be posted here?

    OK then;

    -Squad with the greatest number of bad peoples so far: 5º squad(Aizen, Gin, Tousen, LOL!)

    -most pwned character in SS arc: Renji(defeated by Ichigo, then Byakuya and finally Aizen)

  6. #36
    Registered User 上級員 / Jyoukuuin / Sr. Member Pollux's Avatar
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    Re: Bleach Records

    Quote Quote:
    I'm not judging your humor or anything, but I simply do not understand the humor of that statement. In what context is it made? (I am assuming the context is wherein the humor lies.)
    The omake can be found on Bleachasylum. It's "colourful Bleach 31".

    Are you sure Inoue only said "kurosaki-kun" 356 times ? I thought she said it more than that

    And, for D-Roy defence, wasn't he a Gillian and not an Adjucha ? In GJ's flash-back, D-Roy's is closer to the shape of a Gillian and it has been said that he could not evolve because he had been bitten.
    Last edited by Pollux; May 29, 2008 at 12:03 PM.
    [insert cool looking and funny signature here]

    The French Hangout Thread is dead. Click here to revive it.

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  8. #37
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    Re: Bleach Records

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsukisama View Post
    Nanao was in the process of drawing her weapon, and Yamamoto overwhelmed before she even had the chance to remove her zanpakutou (presumably) from her sleeve. It is evident that she was on the eve of starting something and thus was a willing opponent. In any event, if you were to count this, it would be the fastest defeat, as it would probably be on the order of milliseconds.

    You have a point there. But still, look at how the three fights I listed ended (with the one defeated lying almost dead) and how Yamamoto didn't even bother to at least cut her a little (or scorching her).



    Quote Originally Posted by Tsukisama View Post
    If you are referring to rank, then not only should Hinamori and Renji be excluded from the list but Ichigo as well, since none of them have the actual rank of captain. Power-wise, only Hinamori and Renji (he's not quite there yet) should be excluded.

    I'll change the classification then
    Edit: I don't know how to englobe every shinigami pwned by aizen. Suggestions are welcome.


    Quote Originally Posted by Pollux View Post
    The omake can be found on Bleachasylum. It's "colourful Bleach 31".

    Are you sure Inoue only said "kurosaki-kun" 356 times ? I thought she said it more than that

    And, for D-Roy defence, wasn't he a Gillian and not an Adjucha ? In GJ's flash-back, D-Roy's is closer to the shape of a Gillian and it has been said that he could not evolve because he had been bitten.
    I think that if I actually counted them that number would be much higher XD

    Deeroy was an adjucha, but he was a very weak one.
    Last edited by sk.nite; May 29, 2008 at 12:14 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

  9. #38
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    Re: Bleach Records

    Quote Originally Posted by Pollux View Post
    The omake can be found on Bleachasylum. It's "colourful Bleach 31".
    Thanks. I read all of the omake listed there, and I agree that Yachiri's scene was very funny. In my opinion, I found Captain Unohana's part in omake 31, Captain Yamamoto trying to get his tea into the festival, and the 12th division's part in the festival preparation also very hilarious.

    Quote Originally Posted by sk.nite View Post
    You have a point there. But still, look at how the three fights I listed ended (with the one defeated lying almost dead) and how Yamamoto didn't even bother to at least cut her a little (or scorching her).
    It is true that he did not do any physical (or at least not any perceptible significant) damage to her, since the record was "quickest defeat," I believed that it was relevant as he did defeat her and very quickly.

    Quote Quote:
    I'll change the classification then
    Edit: I don't know how to englobe every shinigami pwned by aizen. Suggestions are welcome.
    How about "most notable shinigami defeated?"

  10. #39
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    Re: Bleach Records

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsukisama View Post
    How about "most notable shinigami defeated?"
    For the moment I'll stick with non-small fry, but thanks for the suggestion.


    Quote Originally Posted by patedecarne View Post
    Great topic, sk.nite!

    Is every kind of record allowed to be posted here?
    Thanks and yes, you're welcome to post any kind of record.

    Quote Originally Posted by patedecarne View Post
    -Squad with the greatest number of bad peoples so far: 5º squad(Aizen, Gin, Tousen, LOL!)
    Wouldn't that make the 5th squad "The most evil squad"? That would be their specialization
    Last edited by sk.nite; May 29, 2008 at 06:26 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

  11. #40
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    Re: Bleach Records

    Quote Originally Posted by sk.nite View Post
    Most embarassing defeat: Deeroy : OHKO by Rukia (also only adjucha level arrancar who was defeated without releasing)
    Note: Rukia is weak. Just accept it. She was defeated by a normal hollow.
    Note2:If you have a more humillating defeat in mind, post it and I'll consider it.
    Given the displays of power that we have seen from Rukia post SS arc (i.e., in every other battle she has had as a shinigami), her loss to the hollow at the beginning of the series does not seem like it is something natural. Perhaps Urahara did something to her to make her lose, knowing that she would have to then enter the gigai he would then give to her that would drain her reiatsu, eventually making her a normal human soul and ensuring that the Hougyoku would remain hidden forever.

  12. #41
    Registered User 上級員 / Jyoukuuin / Sr. Member Morlun's Avatar
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    Re: Bleach Records

    Quote Originally Posted by Pollux View Post
    The omake can be found on Bleachasylum. It's "colourful Bleach 31".
    LOL

    Yachiru = genius.

  13. #42
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    Re: Bleach Records

    hmmm I dunno if Byakuya vs. Ichigo is the fastest loss, but I guess we could put the "3 vice vs. Ichigo" as the most humiliating defeat of several captainclass captains in the shortest amount of time until now.

    @tsukisama: "Captain class" in the Bleach Manga refers to Captains and Vice-Captains alike. Since a Captain and a Vice Captain afterall still hold the name of Captain, the latter just with less 'power' than the former.

  14. #43
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    Re: Bleach Records

    most times impaled/run through/stabbed should go to ichigo, or at least be tied between ichigo and rukia, depending on your definition of stabbed.
    he got impaled by grand fisher during their fight, stabbed by byakuya just before he defeated renji in the real world, stabbed again by kenpachi straight through zangetsu and into his chest, and impaled on ulquiorras hand, which makes 4, the debatable one for if he takes it outright is when aizen nearly cut him in half, since that was more a slash than a stab.

  15. #44
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    Re: Bleach Records

    How about this:

    Best "Turnaround 'WTF JUST HAPPENED'" scene award. Scenes where you think something will do a certain way and then it just goes the opposite.

    First Nomination: Aizen stopping Ichigo's music (I think everyone knows what I'm referring to)

    Second Nomination: Ishida high and mighty entrance against Szayel only to be beaten like a rag doll soon after

    Third Nomination: Chad's new powers, beating an ex-Espada then being pwned by Nnoitra in less than a minute later

    Fourth Nomination: Rukia looking strong by defeating D-Roy with one blow, only to have Grimmjow toss her aside like a piece of bad fish a minute later

  16. #45
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    Re: Bleach Records

    Quote Originally Posted by ttxdragon View Post
    @tsukisama: "Captain class" in the Bleach Manga refers to Captains and Vice-Captains alike. Since a Captain and a Vice Captain afterall still hold the name of Captain, the latter just with less 'power' than the former.
    Really? Is this stated in the manga somewhere, because I would have thought otherwise. Captains have been made to seem in the manga as greatly more powerful than vice-captains, and so including them in the same class seems erroneous.

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