okay, 1, im new to the forums, well i look for RAWs and stuff through here but i just registered today...and im sry if i type soo much, i dont know how to have WinRar things uploaded onto the posts...i have winrar though~
2, i worked hard on this manga, and i still need to fix a few things....so dont steal anything from me please...
3, im an amateur in story writing so dont criticize...i have bad japanese, i want to learn, but dont have time, so i just look up words in japanese and put them together..
Okay, my manga.. um the thing that troubles me the most is i have no 'main point' in my manga, like Naruto, Naruto wants to be Hokage and One Piece, Luffy wants to be Pirate King and is based on everyone's dreams to be fufilled (which i really love about the manga), and Bleach which has Ichigo wanting to protect everyone he loves from Hollows, Arrancars and etc..
My main character is Enerugi Blazer... Blazer dont mean anything, but Enerugi is just 'Energy'.. He has the ability of manipulating his energy and forming it into weapons and stuff.. He is very persistent and pursues his goals.. He is poor and wears stitched up clothing.. he has red hair and and interesting hat.. He joins an organizations, which its purpose is to protect their city basically.. (sorry for no names of stuff, i was really focusing on events and characters..).. Blazer joins the organization cause he wants to be knownn and people dont treat him like crap for wearing bad clothing and blah blah etc.. i might change that cause it reminds me of naruto a bit..
But anyway, once he joins, hes excited and everything.. he receives a small tour from the captain of the entire organization, Valkro (i'll either keep this name, or find a good japanese name, he wasn't a character that i wanted to focus on much so yea..), that everyone usually travels in groups, each starting off with 2 partners.. Blazer meets his partners, Senko and Raigensou Electro..
Senko's appearence shows that he wears a nice clean black suit, a gentlemen's hat thing (the flat top not curve top), and carries a small case that holds a tea set (he likes tea) and a sword.. he is calm and acts with manners..
Raigensou Electro comes from the Raigensou(lightning element) family line.. they are all known for being able to control Lightning.. he is cocky and arrogant at times when people mention him being a Raigensou member and shows off his abilities.. he also enjoys dating girls and stuff..
When they meet each other, they introduce themselves.. Blazer, using his abilities of energy manipulation, transforms his appearence and resembles a creature that looks like Kirby (he was my favorite nintendo character) but with different eyes, and his hat..he says that it is his 'comfortable' form.. Senko was speechless and Electro wasnt happy with his team:
Electro: Great, now i'm stuck with a kid in a suit, and a fat pink blob..
Blazer to Senko: Haha....ur a fat pink blob....
They all get into an arguement and saying who is better.. Blazer looks and sees a wanted poster that says that the criminal was last sited in a small downtown district.. Blazer says that whoever could defeat and catch the criminal first would prove that they were better than the other.. so they set off....
Blazer, being poor and memorizing the entire city, was able to locate the criminal... but when he found the criminal, he just saw a scarecrow on a woodpost..blazer laughed and said that it would be an easy win, but suddenly the scarecrow revealed that it had legs and stretched them and unscrewed his arms and was released from the post... he lifted his hat up a little, grabbed his wood post, and started to walk the other direction saying 'uninteresting..'
Blazer got mad and created and energy arm blade and attacked sigma who jumped up and landed on his outstretched blade then muttered 'interesting...energy manipulation? might be useful to me..' and he runs across the blade towards Blazer, who quickley withdraws his blade which trips Sigma and forms an energy fist. Blazer smashed the scarecrow with his fist and Senko and Electro arrive dissapointed..
Blazer reads the wanted poster, 'Sigma . . . Wanted for Mass Murder and accused for the capture and hostage for the named people:......' Blazer said that he wasnt tough at all...before Senko and Electro acknowledged their defeat and Blazer's victory...they all hear a voice saying: Your toooo cocky kid!
And streams of hays and clothes shreds stream up from the bottom of the energy fist to the top forming Sigma and stretched his leg and kicked blazer who flew into some crates (they are by a harbor or warehouse or something). Senko took the oppurtunity and charged at Sigma with his sword which Sigma blocked easily, he shot energy slices from the blade which was also blocked... He noted to Senko saying that such a strange sword was familiar to him and noted some sort of organization that wore same clothing as Senko and also held very strange swords.. Before he could go on, Electro jumps in with his arms wrapped in electricity but sigma dodges his punches. He jumps atop senko's sword and uses it and him as a boost which senko crashes into a few crates also.. Electro sends a flurry of electricity at Sigma who dodges them with ease and says that he fought better Raigensou members, but his abilities were a tad bit interesting.. Electro gets mad and shoots an electric dart at a hay piece that was sticking out of Sigma. Sigma bursts in flames and screams in agony, blazer and senko get up and are dissapointed in Electro's win, but Sigma suddenly stops screaming and says: hahhaha, just kidding!
He breathes in and sucks all of the flames in and shoots out a huge bursts of fire at them but Blazer defends the others by forming a large wall.. Senko and Electro fainted due to the huge heat, and Blazer's shield cracks and Sigma breaks through it and grabs blazer by the throat and laughs saying: Ur an intersting kid, what's ur name?
Blazer responds: Why should I tell you?
Sigma: Do you value ur life?
Sigma says that he will remember him and his arm transfers somesort of dark energy to Blazer and he passes out.. Sigma grabs his wood post and starts walking away saying: ku ku ku let's hope hes better than the other freaks i found~ (yea i do realize that some of the part i just said sounded like orochimaru giving curse seal to sasuke, but its completley different, more of a hollow ichigo relation thing later in the story line..)
They all wake up in the hospital and were told of what happened... Blazer, Senko, and Electro argued with each other more and decided that they should form their own teams.. senko and electro left first to form their own teams....Blazer sat alone, and said: nothing has changed from the beginning..alone again...but i wont give up, and that starts the beginning of my manga...
sorry for writing soo long, still need to learn about forums and stuff.... how did you like it? what could i fix? help would be most appretiated... here are pictures of my characters and teams in this order: Team Blazer, Team Senko, and Team Electro and Senko and sigma... the reason i wanted them to split up though was because i wanted like 3 main characters and 3 main storylines going on at once and go in together at times..
Re: My Manga (no title yet; but PLEASE check it out~)
holy crap, please!!!! life really hasn't gone well for me and i just want some encouragement or something.... anyone!? i know you all have time, please!!
okay, well someone teach me how to delete this then? no one is saying anything
Last edited by L530; September 11, 2007 at 03:23 PM.
Reason: Automerged Doublepost
Re: My Manga (no title yet; but PLEASE check it out~)
i dunno, its just the beginning of the story, i mean i thought the beginning of naruto was real boring, i started watching it at Rock Lee vs Gaara... but anyway, thanks for commenting, but eh, im just only a freshmen, i got a lot of characters in the story, but if i had a main point to the story, it would be better..