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that'd be totally OMFG!!Quote:
__:minato is naruto's mother!
Naruto is actually a tom boyish girl just like her mother Kushina! Only seven people know of this secret; five are dead; two are still alive. The seven are Naruto's parents, Sandaime Hokage, Jiraiya, Kakashi, Haku and Sasuke.
The Namikazes knew that they actually give birth to a cute girl and not a cute boy. At first, Minato and Kushina thought that they were going to have a baby boy but instead they had a baby girl. It dampened their hopes because they wanted to have a son named after a character from one Jiraiya's novel. Even so, they still went through with their planned and named their newborn child Naruto.
Being called the Professor, there wasn't anything that the Sandaime Hokage didn't know about in Konoha. One of them was that Naruto was actually a girl.
Being the godfather of Naruto, Jiraiya knew from the very start that Naruto was a girl. Jiraiya's second close encounter with death came about when he thought he was peeping on a young hot blond who was actually Naruto. Enraged, Naruto went 4 tailed on Jiraiya. The incident was so traumatic to Jiraiya that the only thing Jiraiya remembered was being attacked by the 4 tailed Kyuubi and managing to somehow survived. The rest of the story Jiraiya just fabricated so that he doesn't lose his face when he was talking in front of Tsunade.
Kakashi first discovered that Naruto was a girl as soon as Kakashi used 1,000 years of pain on Naruto. Using his superb genius ninja ability, Kakashi deduced that whatever hole his two fingers went up in, they weren't in Naruto's asshole that's for sure. Shortly afterward, Kakashi went and wept loudly for the forgiveness from Yondaime for desecrating Yondaime's daughter.
Being the type of person that Haku was, Haku knew that something was odd about the unconscious Naruto. And using his girlish charm, Haku deduced that Naruto was actually a girl. After talking about something or someone to protect, Haku sensed another person closing in. As he stood up, Haku noticed that another ninja from Konoha was coming. Haku thought that this boy might be Naruto's boyfriend and the person that Naruto might be trying to protect. Just as he was leaving, Haku thought to tease the young lady by revealing that he was actually a boy.
Sasuke had queer feelings for Naruto for quite a time, but Sasuke never knew why. After tasting the soft moist lips of Naruto, Sasuke's queer feelings overflowed, and it tormented him. During the mission to the Wave Country, Sasuke's thoughts were jarred when Haku mumbled, "Is that your cute girlfriend," while they passed each other. It was only at the battle at the Valley of the End that Sasuke learned of Naruto's real identity. Right after punching threw Naruto, Sasuke felt something wasn't right. The area that Sasuke's hand ran threw was too soft to be a boy's chest but that of a girl! After realizing that Naruto was actually a girl, there and then, Sasuke finally understood why he had queer feelings for Naruto. Just as Sasuke was about to confess his love, it started to rain. The weather conveyed his feelings of great sorrow that drowned out his joyous discovery. Coughing out blood and dropping to his knees, Sasuke was face to face with a beautiful Naruto in a dead like state to take one last look and whiff of his beloved Naruto. Greatly depressed that he had mortally wounded and endangered the only girl that he has truly ever loved, Sasuke trotted off to Orochimaru with a vow to grow stronger.
Last edited by segua; January 14, 2008 at 06:51 PM.
@segua That is one of the most hilarious theories ever!!! It can be discounted by all the trips to Hot Springs ... But I'm sure you could come up with something as a work around to that lol
Sai is actually Orochimaru's illegitimate son or as Orochimaru would call it, his pet from his other grand experimentation.
Kushina was actually Misty from Cerulean City a.k.a Whirlpool Country. She was a very promising Pokemon trainer til the day that their country was invaded my shinobis using pokemon. Her family was forced to emigrate to another country hence she ended up in Konoha. It was also her wish that one day, Naruto would return to the Whirlpool country and assume his rightful place as the Gym Leader of Cerulean City.
The Rokudo Sennin was actually Inuyashi who was infused with the Shikon no Tama. Using the new found powers, Inuyashi was finally able to defeat the much hated Noraku. Afterwards, Inuyashi also used the powers of the Shikon no Tama to turn himself into a human and founded the shinobi world and then was said to disappear. Truthfully, Inuyasha died and was cremated with the Shikon no Tama as per Kagome's but more specifically Kikiyo's instructions. Thousands of years later, a boy named Nagato was born. Little did he know it, the Shikon no Tama had once again entered into the world. When Nagato died, the Shikon no Tama was tainted and started to feed off from Nagato's pain.
Sasuke and Itachi are actually clones of Madara.
Jiraiya didn't die but awaits help at the bottom of the lake in the Rain Country. Once Jiraiya has been rescued, he also need a blood transfer but a compatible blood source could not be found due to Jiraiya's rare blood type. Yet, hope is restored as Kakashi also has that rare blood type. It's then that Kakashi learns that Jiraiya is actually Kakashi's real father and not the White Fang. The White Fang was actually Jiraiya's best friend whom Jiraiya entrusted Kakashi to.
Not really. After I typed down the Sasuke and Itachi being clones of Madara, Metal Gear Solid hit me. I was going to put down Sasuke is a clone of Itachi who is a clone of Madara originally.
Jiraiya and Kakashi is actually based on Pierot and the King of Monocco from Yakitate Japan!
The real leader of Akatsuki is really Jiraiya. There was no insider to provide him with information. It was actually Jiraiya himself that was leaking the information to Kakashi and the other shinobi countries so that it might help further Jiraiya's aspirations. His fight with Pein was actually staged so that Jiraiya could fully severed his ties with Konoha by making use of the toads. With his information network, the absolute control of a great shinobi country, the financial backing from the underworld, there isn't anything Jiraiya could accomplish except for wooing Tsunade. The cryptic message that Jiraiya wrote on the Toad Elder was just bogus information served to further mislead Konoha and anyone that dared to oppose Akatsuki.
The only person that knew of Jiraiya's treachery was Orochimaru. Orochimaru had also learned that Jiraiya had somehow teamed up with Uchiha Madara. Fearing that he might not be strong enough to take Jiraiya and Madara on, Orochimaru was forced to develop a kinjutsu and try to revive to past Hokages. Unable to do permanently revive the past Hokages, Orochimaru resolved to perhaps revive the powers of the Shodaime Hokage which brought about his DNA splicing experimentation using the Shodai's cells which proved to be disastrous even though one managed to survive to the unknowing of Orochimaru.
Jiraiya caught wind of Orochimaru's efforts and set Orochimaru up for a downfall. Manipulation the Sandaime Hokage, Jiraiya was able to stall the efforts of Orochimaru. Having no other choice than to flee and seek outside help, Orochimaru fled Konoha as Konoha installed Minato who was indoctrinated with Jiraiya's principles. Orochimaru then joined Akatsuki in hopes to use this powerful organization of powerful S-ranked Shinobi to help stop the endeavors of Jiraiya. When Orochimaru found out that Akatsuki was actually headed by Jiraiya, Orochimaru tried to flee only to lose his hand to Itachi who was another subordinate of Jiraiya. Truthfully, Orochimaru is so ashamed of being tricked and used by Jiraiya that Orochimaru uses the excuse of his leaving Akatsuki as Itachi was stronger.
After hearing about Orochimaru's death at the hand of Sasuke, Jiraiya planned to assume control of Akatsuki openly.
Hillarious. Now if only we can have an artist to make all this into a parody manga chapter...
Xenogears? Can't see the similarity even though I played the game not too long ago lol. Thanks for the comments fellas.
I have to get this out of my system.
Jiraiya never knew that the once flat chested Tsunade was a porn star for a brief period to pay for her immense gambling debt. That was when she got her breast implants. For the few that knows, Tsunade's nick name the "Legendary Sucker" was actually derived from her legendary performance in the porn flick "Goose Gag a Noose." Afterward, Shizune harshly scolded Tsunade and Tsunade even promised to stop gambling. Though the very next minute, Tsunade started racking up another gambling debt. The reason why Jiraiya didn't notice was that while Tsunade was a porn star, she was disguised as a ganguro girl.
Jiraiya has always knew that Konan, Nagato and Yahiko were strong so Jiraiya has always wanted to test them out with his Konoha students. In order to have a team match up, Jiraiya had the Sandaime Hokage issue Jiraiya's students a S-ranked mission into the Rain country with a bogus objective that would undoubtedly bring about a confrontation between his Rain and Konoha students.
In the so-called incident that Jiraiya heard about the demise of his cute Rain mushkins, the Rain side was overwhelmed by Konoha. Yet in desperation, the Rain side was able to pressure Konoha resulting in the deaths of two of Jiraiya's Konoha students. Only Minato was able to ward off the attack while injuring both Nagato and Yahiko. Konan was the only one uninjured due to the protection of Nagato and Yahiko.
Just as Minato was going to finish them off, Minato stopped did something very unusual for a shinobi. Minato offered the Rain team their lives under one circumstance and that was that Konan returns to Konoha with Minato. The two Rain nins vehemently disagreed, but Konan agreed for the sake of the lives of both Nagato and Yahiko. With a sly smirk, Minato forced Konan to agree to one more condition and that was to dye her hair and assume a new identity. Konan sadly consented once again and dyed her hair a reddish hue and took up the new name Kushina of the Whirlpool country. Konan even went as far as changing her personality so that she might forget her former life in the Rain country.
From afar, Jiraiya was closely monitoring the outcome of his pupils unseen.
Blaming themselves for the lost of Konan, Nagato assumed Konan's identity and even her beloved paper jutsu. Yahiko then assumed Nagato's identity. In their insanity, they even switched eyes and schemed of how to best retrieve Konan. In their plot, it involves utilizing the monstrous powers of the bijuus.
Last edited by segua; January 16, 2008 at 01:35 AM.
Naruto and Sasuke get killed by evil clone thems from the future. They fight through hell to find the Death God and beat him at Shogi to get him to come with them. Then they go to heaven to find the greatest engineers in the universe to build good clones of them. Then they return to earth so that they can fight the evil clones in an incredible rock and roll battle. They realize, however, that they're not good enough, so Itach uses Tsukiyomi to give them an infinite amount of training time in a second. They return, fully ready to rock out loud and beat the evil clones. At the end, they get the Princesses (Hinata and Sakura respectively) and go on to be the greatest band in history, eventually using the music to cause world peace.
Excellent and non-heinous.
I see what you're saying lol, but Citan was a good guy til the end though.
Ok here's a freaky plot twist.
A bit further into Sasuke vs. Itachi's fight, when Sasuke finally overcomes Itachi and Itachi is laying on the floor defeated, awaiting Sasuke to finish him off, but instead Sasuke starts laughing.
Sasuke: Fu fu fu fu....
Itachi: What.. are you... waiting for..?
*Sasuke starts laughing more hysterically*
*Itachi suddenly sees something and his facial expression changes*
*Music changes to Orochimaru's theme*
Sasuke: Finally... Itachi!
Last edited by Alexis; January 16, 2008 at 09:33 AM.