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Thread: Saviors of Time:Intro chapter. What do you think?

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    Post Saviors of Time:Intro chapter. What do you think?

    Hey, Guys I am Theonesuperx and I would like to try to write Manga. Here is a intro chapter for my manga.

    The History of Plenet Nevah.
    Long ago, There were a created plenet known as by Nevah heavenly beings from the Heavens. The Heavenly Beings soon created a race of people that was based on the same race
    on earth known as humans. They were known as humans as well as earth's beings. Nevah was filled with special powers ,known as the core power, that controlled the Seas of whispering Japan on, Nevah storms, weather, and the powers the people of Nevah had. The People of Nevah are born with a power known as the Base Power which allows them to make their own weapons with unique powers. The Base Power uses the user blood and depends on many other things. The powers can be handed down by family, given to, or duplicated.

    The Samurai Zenvoo and the dark star
    The population of Planet Nevah was growing as large as earth. People soon spread over the whole planet, but there were one place that was the most important ,Whispering Japan. Whispering Japan known for being the first great kingdom on Nevah that had great teacing on Base Power and, wealth, and help controlled other kingdoms, but one night a Master Samurai known as Zenvoo , who protected the planet and Havens from evil, noticed something strange out the window in the Samurai’ Academy of Nevah.He thought to himself., ”Why is that star moving ,and why is it so dark outside. I can feel something pulling the powers of Nevah, like somebody there. “He ran outside quickly, while the star was moving in a circle. When he made it outside, the star was moving up and down like it was glad that Zenvoo came out side, he said, “Show your ture from, dark being” The star soon started to glow red and went towards Zenvoo. The star enter the planet’ atmosphere and went near Zenvoo. The star show it true form which look like a women’ face with empty eyes socket ,who was crying out blood instead of tears, with horns and sharp fangs. The Dark being soon said with a demonic voice, “I am the dark being, Nebulaion. Zenvoo , this planet is using you .I have came to give you a better meaning on this planet; powers that no others have. Whispering Japan is will be yours if you just accept my powers like a normal person would ,or I will have to force you ” Zenvoo soon pulled out his sword and said,” Well, I am the world’s greatest samurai; Why do you want Nevah so badly. Nebulaion tears formed a straight line, which turned into tentacles. Nebulaion said with a depressed face,” Because, I will be able to take back my place in the heavens as ruler of Nevah. ”Zenvoo attack with his sword ,but Nebulaion disappears into a thick dark fog. Next he used his trapped zenvoo into a illusion. Nebulaion was able to turned Zenvoo evil. Zenvoo said, “My mind. .my base energy. .I am losing it. arggh..can’t controlled myselfI “Nebulaion commanded “Now you shall attack Whispering Japan with all your might. Put them in the same agony like me. I will hide inside of your body , while you take over Nevah. Zenvoo soon prepare to attack. He put on his legendary Army of the Sun, equips his Sword of Punishment and The Blade of The Great.

    Zenvoo and Zell.

    Zenvoo mind was now full of evil. He soon attacks the City of Waving Flowers.People were shocked that Zenvoo would attacks Whisperng Japan. Soon soldiers and great warriors came to stop zenvoo. While the soldiers were attacking, Zenvoo retreated to a safe place saying to himself, “I won’t be no match for all those soldiers and warriors. Hahaha , I guess I have to try this skill out. I will use my draw all the core power form the planet , and I will be unstoppable. I will have to meditate for while, but I must find a safe place to meditate. Zenvoo use his base enegy to make a TNT to make a hole a the ground. When the TNT explode, he went deep into the cave , and use a other TNT to cover the hole. He went deep into the hole and meditate. 1 month later The leaders of Whispering Japan was in a meeting discussing how can they stop Zenvoo.The angels army of Whispering Japan said” We will aid you in the battle of Zenvoo, but why would such a good man turned evil. I since he is not alone. We almost look around the whole planet and could not find Zenvoo. Commander Zell noticed a strong power coming form the earth. Suddenly a huge colossal golem emerge from the earth, Commander Zell said,”
    All forces attack.and thought to himself,"I can feel it,this is Zenvoo powers,but why can I also sense the powers of Nevah," The huge golem summoned two swords , and it ribs turned into
    legs like a spider.The warriors and the soldiers use base power arrows, base power bombs and
    sowrds and other weapons alike to weaken and destory the golem.the battle with the golem lasted for one day and a half.Commander Zell shouted," WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE UP?!" Zenvoo burst out the golem, head towards the soldiers and start to slice the soldiers and warriors into halves and bits at speed of light. Zenvoo quckly killed all soldiers in 4 minutes. Commander Zell and the rest of the warriors reteated to Whispering Japan'main city
    the City of the Heavens.

    The Conclusion

    The Battle with Zenvoo lasted 3 years. Zenvoo had all elements of planet Neavah.The Angels of
    Whispering Japan could not defeat him , nor the human race of Neavah could for two years.One day though, six people trained to become great Samurais by the Master Leo.
    They soon become the Seven Great Samurai , and the Young Queen Rose decided to join them on their adventure to stop Zenvoo.They soon find Zenvoo and fight him challenge that lasted for a day.Soon Zenvoo was defeated by the Seven Samurai, and Nebulaion esacpe for its last time becuase Rose put a spell on , that it will only lived for one day.

    That how the Legends ends ,but what about the present time.Well, one day,will see.

    What do think. Ask me any qustion,
    In the next chapter people will talk more.

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    Re: Saviors of Time:Intro chapter. What do you think?

    WOW.... I'm confused on so many levels...

    So Zenvoo is the samurai who body gets taken over by the Nebu chick with no eyes who wants her spot in heaven back. She needs to take over this new earth do it though? Why is this necessary ? Who created her ? And these new swordsman are they time skipped or brought through the story over time?

    Official Fan Page of God's Blade The Manga. Click On Sig
    -Oj Ayoku-

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    Re: Saviors of Time:Intro chapter. What do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by marqees101 View Post
    WOW.... I'm confused on so many levels...

    So Zenvoo is the samurai who body gets taken over by the Nebu chick with no eyes who wants her spot in heaven back. She needs to take over this new earth do it though? Why is this necessary ? Who created her ? And these new swordsman are they time skipped or brought through the story over time?
    Yes, Nebulaion took over Zenvoo body becuase he was one of the strongest humans that Nebulaion was aware of at that time.Nebulaion was once created by the Heavenly Beings as the mother of all humans on Nevah.She controlled Nevah by using her Core Base powers to control Neavah Weather and seas.Sone of the Heavenly Beings was not pleased with Nebulaion crotrolling the whole planet.Some feared that people would look to Nebulaion as a Great Hevenly Being ,and they all agreed to
    take away her core powers and take away her powers.She was forced to leave the planet and wonder the stars.She only fells the pain of her body being taking away
    and now hates the angels beings of Nevah,One can enter the Heavans in Whispering Japan.Yes, it a timeskip showing how the war ends.

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