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Thread: Sentences that I'm having trouble

  1. #1
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner phmoura's Avatar
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    Sentences that I'm having trouble

    Before the sentences, a little context.
    Izumo 15 year old is a guy and is usually mistaken for a girl. He is the 17th generation of the Kunizaki troupe, a famous Kabuki troupe. When he was 7 years old he retired because he only got girls roles, ever since he has been living with his mom. But what happens when Izumo's mom leaves for a trip around the world leaving him with his 16th generation successor of the Kunizaki troupe dad?
    On the last chapter came a candidate apprentice, but Izumo isn't willing to accept.


    弟子入り志願に姫もたじろぐ!!?
    The princess also hesitates to the apprentice candidate!!?

    これ以上、女形に振り回されてたまるかっての。
    anymore and i'll be surrounded by Onnagatas.

    も~~~っ!!アイツの正体がバレたら、オレが女形だってコトもバレちまう!!
    Argh!! If his real identity is found out, the fact that i'm an onnagata will be found out too!!

    人に教える事で自分の芸を再確認できるからな
    You can reaffirm your artistic skills if you teach other people.

    そんなに嫌なら、そいつに後継がせてやれ
    If you really don't like, let that guy be the successor.

    てめーも男なら、ビシッと稽古つけてやって、
    If you're also a guy, trick him to join a practice

    お前の女装癖を植えつけんじゃねエ!!
    Don't have the habit of cross-dressing implanted on you!!

    まずは稽古を体験してもらわねーとな.
    first you're going to receive practice experience.

    コレ勝手に女歩きになるからオレも苦手だけど
    if can't walk like a woman, he won't do as he please, even if I'm not good at this either.

    弟子に教えを請われたら、教えてあげるのが師匠だよう
    when an apprentice request to learn, the master has to teach.

    客やメイドに男ってバレないように振る舞うんだぞ.
    you have to act so that the clients and maids don't find out that you're a guy.

    別に1人くらい増えたってうちは大丈夫だぞ?
    We'll be fine even if we get one more person, so what's the problem?

    こっちにいる人みんないい人だし、 そこで働けるかもしれないし。
    the people here, they're all good people, maybe i'll work here.

    体だけには気をつけなさいね
    at least take care of your health

    会った時からそう言ってるじゃないですか
    haven't i being saying this since we met?


    I know it's a lot of sentences. Sorry for that. Theses are the best translations i could do. But i don't know. This is only the second chapter i translate directly from Japanese, so I'm having a little trouble. Thank you for any help.
    Last edited by phmoura; October 17, 2013 at 03:27 PM.

  2. #2
    Registered User 上級員 / Jyoukuuin / Sr. Member
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    Re: Sentences that I'm having trouble

    Quote Originally Posted by phmoura View Post
    Before the sentences, a little context.
    Izumo 15 year old is a guy and is usually mistaken for a girl. He is the 17th generation of the Kunizaki troupe, a famous Kabuki troupe. When he was 7 years old he retired because he only got girls roles, ever since he has been living with his mom. But what happens when Izumo's mom leaves for a trip around the world leaving him with his 16th generation successor of the Kunizaki troupe dad?
    On the last chapter came a candidate apprentice, but Izumo isn't willing to accept.


    弟子入り志願に姫もたじろぐ!!?
    The princess also hesitates to the apprentice candidate!!?

    これ以上、女形に振り回されてたまるかっての。
    anymore and i'll be surrounded by Onnagatas.

    も~~~っ!!アイツの正体がバレたら、オレが女形だってコトもバレちまう!!
    Argh!! If his real identity is found out, the fact that i'm an onnagata will be found out too!!

    人に教える事で自分の芸を再確認できるからな
    You can reaffirm your artistic skills if you teach other people.


    そんなに嫌なら、そいつに後継がせてやれ
    If you really don't like, let that guy be the successor.

    てめーも男なら、ビシッと稽古つけてやって、
    If you're also a guy, trick him to join a practice

    お前の女装癖を植えつけんじゃねエ!!
    Don't have the habit of cross-dressing implanted on you!!

    まずは稽古を体験してもらわねーとな.
    first you're going to receive practice experience.

    コレ勝手に女歩きになるからオレも苦手だけど
    if can't walk like a woman, he won't do as he please, even if I'm not good at this either.

    弟子に教えを請われたら、教えてあげるのが師匠だよう
    when an apprentice request to learn, the master has to teach.

    客やメイドに男ってバレないように振る舞うんだぞ.
    you have to act so that the clients and maids don't find out that you're a guy.

    別に1人くらい増えたってうちは大丈夫だぞ?
    We'll be fine even if we get one more person, so what's the problem?

    こっちにいる人みんないい人だし、 そこで働けるかもしれないし。
    the people here, they're all good people, maybe i'll work here.

    体だけには気をつけなさいね
    at least take care of your health

    会った時からそう言ってるじゃないですか
    haven't i being saying this since we met?


    I know it's a lot of sentences. Sorry for that. Theses are the best translations i could do. But i don't know. This is only the second chapter i translate directly from Japanese, so I'm having a little trouble. Thank you for any help.
    I am no translator but sentences look OK to me thou you might want to use different dialects in order to give the essence of the story and since I dont know about it or the chars that may not be needed....

    the only thing I can say is 女形 this can be translated also as おやま which has the exact same meaning as おんながた but more common in practice. It is Gikun (義訓). Not wrong but lets say less practiced...

    Only thing I realized is

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  4. #3
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner phmoura's Avatar
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    Re: Sentences that I'm having trouble

    the furigana of 女形 is onnagata on Kunisaki Izumo no Jijou.
    I'm not English native, so translating different dialects is near impossible for me.
    If the sentences are OK, I'll revise the translation once more, and then maybe it'll be read to be proofread
    Thanks for the help
    Theses sentences were hard for me to understand, and these translations were the best i could do
    Last edited by phmoura; October 16, 2013 at 06:12 PM.

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    Re: Sentences that I'm having trouble

    Quote Originally Posted by phmoura View Post
    弟子入り志願に姫もたじろぐ!!?
    The princess also hesitates to the apprentice candidate!!?

    これ以上、女形に振り回されてたまるかっての。
    anymore and i'll be surrounded by Onnagatas.

    も~~~っ!!アイツの正体がバレたら、オレが女形だってコトもバレちまう!!
    Argh!! If his real identity is found out, the fact that i'm an onnagata will be found out too!!

    人に教える事で自分の芸を再確認できるからな
    You can reaffirm your artistic skills if you teach other people.

    そんなに嫌なら、そいつに後継がせてやれ
    If you really don't like, let that guy be the successor.

    てめーも男なら、ビシッと稽古つけてやって、
    If you're also a guy, trick him to join a practice

    お前の女装癖を植えつけんじゃねエ!!
    Don't have the habit of cross-dressing implanted on you!!

    まずは稽古を体験してもらわねーとな.
    first you're going to receive practice experience.

    コレ勝手に女歩きになるからオレも苦手だけど
    if can't walk like a woman, he won't do as he please, even if I'm not good at this either.

    弟子に教えを請われたら、教えてあげるのが師匠だよう
    when an apprentice request to learn, the master has to teach.

    客やメイドに男ってバレないように振る舞うんだぞ.
    you have to act so that the clients and maids don't find out that you're a guy.

    別に1人くらい増えたってうちは大丈夫だぞ?
    We'll be fine even if we get one more person, so what's the problem?

    こっちにいる人みんないい人だし、 そこで働けるかもしれないし。
    the people here, they're all good people, maybe i'll work here.

    体だけには気をつけなさいね
    at least take care of your health

    会った時からそう言ってるじゃないですか
    haven't i being saying this since we met?
    これ以上、女形に振り回されてたまるかっての: Your translation - anymore and i'll be surrounded by Onnagatas.

    I can't have that Onnagata bother me like this any more/longer.


    人に教える事で自分の芸を再確認できるからな: You can reaffirm your artistic skills if you teach other people.

    Instead of using "if," I would use when or by.
    when you teach others
    by teaching others


    そんなに嫌なら、そいつに後継がせてやれ:
    If you really don't like, let that guy be the successor.

    If you really don't want to, ...


    てめーも男なら、ビシッと稽古つけてやって、:
    If you're also a guy, trick him to join a practice

    Man up and give him a good lesseon.

    お前の女装癖を植えつけんじゃねエ!!: Don't have the habit of cross-dressing implanted on you!!

    (Is it Izumo telling Onnagata and cross-dressing are 2 separate things? )
    Don't bring in your cross-dresing habits.

    コレ勝手に女歩きになるからオレも苦手だけど:
    if can't walk like a woman, he won't do as he please, even if I'm not good at this either.

    To do this part, you need to walk like a lady, and I'm not good at it either.

    or starting like ... This part requires a female walking technique, and

    こっちにいる人みんないい人だし、 そこで働けるかもしれないし。: the people here, they're all good people, maybe i'll work here.

    働けるかもしれないし:, and maybe I can get to work (there) as well.
    そこ:there <---?

    Everyone seems very nice around here, and I may even get to work there as well.

    体だけには気をつけなさいね: at least take care of your health

    Be sure to take care of yourself.


    Other phrases seem fine to me semantically.

    ...........
    Edit/Add: (I didn't have time earlier.)

    There are a lot of ways to translate. Hope you can rephrase them and adjust your translations.

    Talking about dialects, the original Japanese txt does not show any particular dialects. They are all colloquial but standard.
    Last edited by mikkih; October 16, 2013 at 08:59 PM.

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    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner phmoura's Avatar
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    Re: Sentences that I'm having trouble

    Thank you very much. This chapter was harder than the first and the sentences were really hard for me to translate

    お前の女装癖を植えつけんじゃねエ!!: Don't have the habit of cross-dressing implanted on you!!

    (Is it Izumo telling Onnagata and cross-dressing are 2 separate things? ) Yes. Izumo thinks cross dressing and Onnagata are different. And the older onnagata cross dresses regularly, and the new guy is also cross dressing when Izumo is back. Does this changes things?

    "Don't bring in your cross dressing habits."


    コレ勝手に女歩きになるからオレも苦手だけど:

    This part, Izumo had him do a hard basic training. And in this sentence he is thinking. Like Izumo is thinking the new guy won't do as he like because he can't do a basic training. But Izumo also is bad at this training. Does this changes things?


    こっちにいる人みんないい人だし、 そこで働けるかもしれないし。: the people here, they're all good people, maybe i'll work here.

    働けるかもしれないし:, and maybe I can get to work (there) as well.
    そこ:there <---?

    He's on the phone, talking to his mother. So "there" wouldn't sound a bit off?
    Last edited by phmoura; October 17, 2013 at 07:13 AM. Reason: When I was correcting, I had a few doubts

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    Re: Sentences that I'm having trouble

    Quote Originally Posted by phmoura View Post
    Thank you very much. This chapter was harder than the first and the sentences were really hard for me to translate

    お前の女装癖を植えつけんじゃねエ!!: Don't have the habit of cross-dressing implanted on you!!

    (Is it Izumo telling Onnagata and cross-dressing are 2 separate things? ) Yes. Izumo thinks cross dressing and Onnagata are different. And the older onnagata cross dresses regularly, and the new guy is also cross dressing when Izumo is back. Does this changes things?

    "Don't bring in your cross dressing habits."


    コレ勝手に女歩きになるからオレも苦手だけど:

    This part, Izumo had him do a hard basic training. And in this sentence he is thinking. Like Izumo is thinking the new guy won't do as he like because he can't do a basic training. But Izumo also is bad at this training. Does this changes things?


    こっちにいる人みんないい人だし、 そこで働けるかもしれないし。: the people here, they're all good people, maybe i'll work here.

    働けるかもしれないし:, and maybe I can get to work (there) as well.
    そこ:there <---?

    He's on the phone, talking to his mother. So "there" wouldn't sound a bit off?
    (1) お前の女装癖を植えつけんじゃねエ!!:
    3rd person makes a big difference. The translation will change depends on who Izumo actually is talking to. What I posted last was for when Izumo was talking to the new guy, not to the old guy.

    The sentence means: お前(=old guy)の女装を(omitted part: the new guy/候補者に)植えつけるんじゃねェ!!

    It's like Izumo telling the old guy not to influence the new guy to get cross-dressed.

    So translation will change to "Don't get the new guy start copying your cross-dressing habit." or whatever works for you if you chose not to do a literal translation.

    Your translation: Don't have the habit of cross-dressing implanted on you!!
    will change to: Don't have your habit of cross-dressing implanted on him!!

    (2)
    コレ勝手に女歩きになるからオレも苦手だけど:

    So it means something like:
    This drill guides you to take female walking steps do the female walk naturally, and I'm not good at this/it either.

    ("You" in this sentence is the general "you" like "a person.")


    (3)
    こっちにいる人みんないい人だし、 そこで働けるかもしれないし。:

    こっち(にいる人): people around "here" in this new town in general
    そこで: at that place, which was mentioned earlier.
    Last edited by mikkih; October 17, 2013 at 02:16 PM. Reason: femal walk

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