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Thread: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

  1. #1
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member quoux's Avatar
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    [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    Hello everyone!! I plan to post here alot more once I've created more for my comic. So far, I can only tell you the concept!!! xD

    Life goes on as usual, since the beginning. People, constantly restricted by social mores which are politically translated into laws. A strange committee soon rose to popularity; a social group, so to speak. They asked widespread questions asking things like "What would it cost for you to take the life of a human being?"

    The answered always varied.
    "1 million bucks,"
    "A THOUSAND DOLLARS!"
    "Just give me a name... he he he..."
    "If it will bring back My Love... *sob*..."

    The organization was prominent. It's vocations we're far and widespread.

    And suddenly, one day, human lives became transferable. They could now be given or taken; traded or bartered. If you took someone elses life, whether it was given or taken by force, you would then have two lives; effectively doubling your lifespan and giving you another chance if killed.

    This phenomenon occurred all over the world. Everyone felt it; a slight twinge at first, and then the faint feeling that your life... was like currency. What followed was alot of mass murder, science experiments, formation of cults, and bunker sales.

    And Kale was just a young man, on an island, swept up into a rapidly changing world that, as far as the masses knew, no one could explain.

    --------

    Thanks everyone! There are alot of twists and plot developments! Please grant me feedback, and I hope I have some pages done soon!

    Later on down the road, I'll be looking into guest artists!!

    Thank you,
    Quoux

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  3. #2
    MangaHelper 九千以上だ! / Kyuusen Ijou Da! / It's Over 9000! Farfalla's Avatar
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    Re: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    Hey, I like your concept a lot^^ Sounds chaotic xD and I bet it will lead us to evaluate a lot of things...
    I'm guessin you'll be showing some pages soon, that means you'll be also drawing the comic?
    If that's the case, I'm also looking forward to check your art^^

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    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member quoux's Avatar
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    Re: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    Thank you so much! Yes it will be very chaotic and there are lots of things to evaluate and find out ;D

    I have begun the proloque!! Below is the rough for the first page. Yes I will be drawing the pages myself, but you never know!


  6. #4
    MangaHelper 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member nanaDmari's Avatar
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    Re: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    Hey, quoux, I should have read this first... the way you presented the concept here is a lot more exciting!
    This looks more and more as dark fantasy, and that makes me happy XD

    Just some thoughts on your sketch...
    The first panel of the page could have more impact, you have a lot of whitespace on the page... I can't read what's under it, if it defines something of the story... but you could even make the drawing bleed as a background for the page... I believe those people represent the organization?
    the three answers being presented side by side is the ideal format, I think...

  7. #5
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member quoux's Avatar
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    Re: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    Ahaha thank you so much!! Yes it is very dark fantasy ;D I have finished with half of the prologue so far, and people tell me it is reminiscent of Soul Eater!

    As to the writing, I didn't want it to be too visible, in case if spoilers!! I had planned to post it page by page but I was advised by people who know a lot better than I that I should make a chapter or so first before posting. I really wish I could have started posting sooner, but I think people would enjoy more regular posting rather than a quick start.

    Oh yes that first panel was much to underwhelming xD I fixed in the final; basically in the way you advised! Yes those men represent the organization conducting the social experiment, The Men in Bowler Hats.

    I'm glad you liked the three questions, those are my favorite panels!

    ---------- Post added October 28, 2013 at 10:49 PM ---------- Previous post was October 26, 2013 at 09:35 AM ----------

    Update;

    This is just some teaser artwork; no words, it is part of the prologue, but it is just so you all can see my artwork first hand and get a feel for how the manga will look. Yes it's a bit stylized I prefer a goofy sort of style and my characters proportions are often interesting.

    Spoiler show


    If the picture isn't working, use this link http://quoux.deviantart.com/art/Manga-teaser-410185668
    Last edited by nanaDmari; October 30, 2013 at 09:28 AM.

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  9. #6
    MangaHelper 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member nanaDmari's Avatar
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    Re: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    Well, sometimes showing only one page at a time may not be a good idea simply because people won't understand its contents or how the story is advancing... A whole scene can be a small showcase of the progress and be better for others to give feedback...
    Ok, just be aware of the text placement in each panel, even if the text is not final or still written on pencil

    Most times, darker stories have a more realistic artwork, but I don't see any problem with using a more stylized one... I think it's important to have the drawing style be more characteristic of your own works, so people can recognize it right away too, like a trademark.

    Keep it up!

  10. #7
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member quoux's Avatar
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    Re: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    Thank you for all the helpful tips!!

    I've been using your suggestion on text placement; it is very important, after all. Too show enough of the scene and not cloud the panels with words, and all that.

    Currently I'm on page seven. So far, I've been making two a week except for recently, because I am participating in NaNoWriMo however, I still plan to make at least one page a week during November.

    I have the end planned out, and I have checkpoints for when I believe a certain truth or secret should be revealed. I have had my storyline reviewed as a shonen but with seinen crossover (violence and the intellectual storyline; primarily under symbolism, history, and allusion). But of course, there will be no way to tell until it's drawn!!

    I personally prefer to not post any pages until I complete a chapter.

    ---------- Post added December 04, 2013 at 08:46 PM ---------- Previous post was November 08, 2013 at 04:05 PM ----------

    Okay there will probably be three posts in a row because I don't think too many people are gonna be interested, but the prologue for Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu is almost ready!! I just need to scan and upload

    In the prologue I will explain the problem, the cause, and the main character with a bit of development. Enjoy; check back here soon for pictures!
    Last edited by quoux; December 09, 2013 at 08:34 PM.

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    MangaHelper 九千以上だ! / Kyuusen Ijou Da! / It's Over 9000! Farfalla's Avatar
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    Re: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    I'm interested xD
    (just so you won't get three posts in a row, haha)

  12. #9
    Registered User 上級員 / Jyoukuuin / Sr. Member zzigg's Avatar
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    Re: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    correct me if am wrong but wasn't that idea already shown in bakuman??

  13. #10
    Registered User 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member DoctorApollo's Avatar
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    Re: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    Not precisely, but it's certainly very similar. I would venture to guess he read Bakuman and was at least inspired by it.

  14. #11
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member quoux's Avatar
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    Re: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    Ive never heard of Bakuman And sorry everyone I can get these links to work to show images!! Ive been messing around all day with it!

    ---------- Post added at 08:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:14 PM ----------

    Well here are some links/pictures

    Page 1

    http://quoux.deviantart.com/art/Shok...itsu-418875992

    Page 2

    http://quoux.deviantart.com/art/Shok...ge-2-418877176

    Page 3

    http://quoux.deviantart.com/art/Shok...ge-3-418878342

    Page 4

    http://quoux.deviantart.com/art/Shok...ge-4-418878503

    Page 5

    http://quoux.deviantart.com/art/Shok...ge-5-418878666

    Page 6

    http://quoux.deviantart.com/art/Shok...ge-6-418878873

    Page 7

    http://quoux.deviantart.com/art/Shok...ge-7-418879053

    Page 8

    http://quoux.deviantart.com/art/Shok...ROLO-418879311
    Last edited by quoux; December 09, 2013 at 09:41 PM.
    http://ifimdamon.blogspot.com/ <--- My Blog
    http://quoux.deviantart.com/ <--- my deviantart
    "Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty; but the pig will enjoy it."

  15. #12
    Registered User 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member DoctorApollo's Avatar
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    Re: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    Oh, okay, then my immediate answer to you is to read Bakuman ASAP because you will love everything about it.

  16. #13
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member quoux's Avatar
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    Re: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    Quote Quote:
    Oh, okay, then my immediate answer to you is to read Bakuman ASAP because you will love everything about it.
    Really? How awesome!! I love manga suggestions!! Do they have it on google?

    Also, I hope my concept isn't TOO similar to Bakuman! I would hate to have some copyright issues here! Maybe later on there will be major differences that will set the two apart?
    http://ifimdamon.blogspot.com/ <--- My Blog
    http://quoux.deviantart.com/ <--- my deviantart
    "Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty; but the pig will enjoy it."

  17. #14
    Registered User 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member DoctorApollo's Avatar
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    Re: [original] Shokuhin No Tame Ni Shinjitsu (working title)

    Bakuman doesn't have a similar story, Bakuman is a story about two kids that want to be manga artists. The story starts when they're 14, and it follows their lives for ten years, over 20 volumes.

    Anyway, one of their first stories is very similar to yours, it's called Money and Intelligence. Well, maybe it's not that similar, it's just the same concept of selling lives, or rather selling brains in their version.

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