hope you enjoy and understand what goes on.. bit confusing without pictures i know.
constructive critcism welcomb
Characters in order of apprence
zola-earth inhabitant. male
benj-darkness- darkness inhabitant.
Unamed- fire inhabitant
unamed- light inhabitant
genral sharp eye
earth leader- bonzo
page 1. full picture of a a large crafted stone with foreign language inscribed. birds eye view with 5 men and 2 women on circular platforms. going around the stone. the circles each have an elemental pattern on with grooves in the floor. very detailed picture.
at the top the words are.
from every corners of the world. their lies 1 incredibly powerful item for each element. it is the people duty to destroy these items at the sacred place.
Page 2. broken down into 7 pictures
picture1. earth sign with the word earth at the bottom. picture of zola with his arms raised. a serious looking man with extremely long hair. looks like its being blown by a vicious wind. a long cape swinging on his back. brown eyes wearing a black vaiser across the bottom half of his face and fully robed with brown straps. (no item as earth country does not hold a ritual item. they cast the ritual)
picture 2. dark sign with the word darkness at the bottom. picture of a male with black deep eyes. medium length black hair in thin spikes going around his head and shoulder blades. wearing a black v shaped vest showing his chest and both arms. he holds a black ritual item. on his arms.
picture 3. fire sign with the word fire at the bottom. picture of male on fire crazy looking eyes deep red. with a huge sinister grin on his face. fire prints on his clothes and a fire item on his arm.
picture 4. nature sign with the word nature on the bottom. a green haired male with camel prints on his face looks half chameleon. or some sort wearing no clothes it just looks like a reptiles skin barring his bottom half.
item on his arm corresponding with his item.
picture 5. water sign with water word at the bottom. female women pretty brunette with medium length hair closed eyes calm with a stranded blue water countries soldiers uniform item on arm.
picture6. light sign with the word light underneath.
a lanky man crossed arms with item showing. legs spread position looks confident and cool. short blonde hair with bright eyes.
picture 7. air sign. with air word underneath. a small male item over his head pale character looks quite scared wearing long robes with arms in his pockets.( he doesnt look realy scared just wary)
page 3. picture 1 benj shouting over to zola
"IS THIS RIGHT"
picture of him dealing with the force of the ritual. SWEATING FROM HIS HEAD
picture 2. zola thinking to himslef
"somethings not right here, its like were missing something"
crazily spitting out.
"come on lets get this thing on the road, woohoo haha"
picture 4. close up of zolas face. panic stricken sudden realisation of whats going on. still thinking to himself.
"shit... this isnt good...... son of a bitch"
picture 5. zola starts to shout. "BENJ GET OUT OF.." picture of zola shouting to benj
picture six. cant realy make out whats happning explosions going on. the birds eye veiw of the sacred place. picture of zolas body being blown to the side.
page. 4. picture of a destroyed sacred place the big sacred stone is still in tack rubble, all over the floor. words at the bolttom. narrators speech.
This is were our story begins.
introducing the main character. word at the top of the page
kardiegon. picture 1 image of a foot hitting the floor side of a bed. a boot next to the foot with loose shoe laces.black sock on.
picture 2. boot is now on foot hands tieng the laces. high top boot with laces and straps going over then. realy cool looking =]
picture 3. picture of kardiegon stood up only showing bottom half.
showing both boots and pants tooked inside. wearing black jeans quite tight. 2 large visable pockets and. stripes going down the left leg. brown strap, red strap brown strap. and so on...
picture 4 showing a zipped jumper being zipped up half way visable chest, black vest,. bed in background. standerd bedroom. one piece poster in the background =]
picture5.picture of one eye and a hand putting a little red strap underneath.
PAGE. kardiegon pulling a smirk smile. just the smirk is shown on the picture.
page5 Word at the top KARDIEGON
full picture of kardiegon stood in view big blonde spikes for his hair with red streaks going through it. big blue eyes a big grin and the red strap underneath his eye. going down you see a black kardigon zipped half way up. with chest showing. then the legs and boots are also shown legs slightly spread and hands on his hips
page6 picture1 genral sharp eye bursting through door.
genral sharp eye. a large stocky man with an eye patch. short dark hair armoured up to make him look even bigger and a fat neck.
Picture of slamming the door open with his hand. massive opend mouth smile as he shouts.
picture 2. picture of kardiegon holding his hand up to wave
picture 3 sharp eye suddenly bear hugging kardiegon with kardiegon clearly showing alot of pain from the tight hug. you can see the size diffrence as kardiegon is nearly slowlloed by this.
"i hope your ready todays your big day to graduate into the accademy HAHA"
sharp eye-"come on mate its time for your induction into the earths accademy of warriors"
picture of his face with mouth still open as he is talking/shouting
picture 5. kardiegon "alright let me just get my.."
picture 6 sharpeye grabbing kardiegon by the scruff of the kneck dragging kardiegon while he is wailing his arms trying to grab his bow and arrow.
page7picture 1. picture of kardiegon and sharp eye stood in front of a big arched wooden door (like a castles door) you see a bridge they have crossed to stand infront of it. kardiegon has a bow on one hip and the quiver and arrows on the other hip.
sharp-eye-"this is it kardiegon all the training i put you through to be accepted as a soldier of earth lies behind this door"
picture2. kardiegon looking over to sharpeye with a thumb up-"il be the best lady catcher ever"
page.8 picture 1 sharp eye angry face raising his fist over to kardiegon
sharpeye-"grrrhmmm WHY YOU....."
picture 2. shapreye grabbing kardiegon in a headlock. doors are shown to be opening but the focus is on the headlock kardiegons picture is shown from behind sharpeye and kardiegon.
kardiegon"AHH LET GO LET GO LET GO AHHH"
PICTURE 3. Kardiegon and sharp eye have enterd the doors sharp-eye is commicly walking with kardiegon as hes still in a headlock. picture shows a detailed court yard of the earths accademy. lots of class room windows people running around walking.
(use your imagination make it look good)
page 9. picture 1.
sharp eye has released kardiegon and is pointing towards an open entrence. (looks like a football feilds entrance to the feild)
kardiegon is comming round of the headlock.
sharpeye-"go through and pass these exams and youl then be a part of the earths legendary army"
you see earth the earth leader bonzo appearng in the background.
picture2. kardiegons running towards the entrance.
kardiegon-"arghhh im going to change the wrold. just you wait exams"
picture 3. bonzo is stood next to sharp-eye. bonzo is even taller and wider then sharp-eye. but they look very simalar but bonzo has no eyepatch but a scar going down his face looks like stitching. big beard.
bonzo-"well make a soldier out of him yet" sharpeye is sniffiling
PICTURE 4. sharpeye is crying tears running down his face. dramatically upset.
sharpeye-"Its so sad to see him grow up.. can we not wait A FEW MORE YEARS"
picture 5. bonzo shouting.
"GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF. YOUR A GENRAL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD"
PAGE10. picture 1 kardiegons enterd into the testing area. big feild with a big cliff at the side.
kardiegon-"alright time to show the world what i got"
picture 2. random characters in earth uniform
character 1 "is that kardiegon"
character 2 "oh thats the big idiot that everyones talking about this year.
picture3.other charcters are starting to look back at kardiegon pulling their face as a sign of no appreciation.
character1. "i heard the only reason why hes allowed to come here because his uncles a genral"
character 2. "did you here about his parents?"
character1. yeah the trators their nothing but scum bags. their whole familys a good for nothing i dont think this idiots any diffrent"
picture4. character 3 appears talking to the other 2.
character3-"haha hes not that bad. he is one funny guy and his skills with a bow are extremely accurate"
character 3.-"just watch out this guy might steal your two spots in the earth soldiers".
page 11. .appearnce of jordan. a medium sized man muscular without a t-shirt. theres an earth mark on his left chest a gigantic sword going across the bottom of his back. his pants are very baggy (green)with brown jagged lines going from the seams to his hips.
full page picture long dark hair very arrogant looking and a short beard goate. hes just stepped passed the 3 characters whitch the other characters are wary of jordan.
jordan-grumbles word effect effect on the page.
page 12. picture 1.jordan shoving past kardiegon.
jordan "you better get out of my way, i have no time for weaklings like you"
picture 2. kardiegon
"weaklings like me. WELL LETS SEE YOU PROVE THAT STATEMENT IDIOT"
PICTURE 3. jordan turns round and faces kardiegon. jordans preparing to pull out his sword while kardiegon is reacching for his bow.
jordan-"i meant what i said theirs no way a little archer could beat me"
kardiegon-"well lets just see what you got i will defenitly beat you to the ground"
picture 4. caharacter with a big microphone.. starts to shout down to all the people enetering into the earth accademy.
character with the mic-"LETS GET TO OUR TRIALS PEOPLE WE HAVNT GOT ALL DAY WE ONLY HAVE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF SLOTS SO HURRY UPPPPPP"
picture 5. kardiegon and jordan both look up to the guy with the mic.
jordan-"well well it looks like you got saved by the bell little kid"
kardiegon.-my names kardiegon and il change the world one day so dont you ever forget who i am"
picture6. kardiegons face is angry.
jordan walks of without saying a word.
page 13. picture 1 .character 3. "your going to be late for the exam"
kardiegon "i have loads of time dont worry abourt it"
picture 2 character 3. "no you have about 30 seconds otherwise you will have to come back next year"
picture 3. kardiegon running extremely fast towards the test ground.
"please please please if i dont get their in time genral will kick my ass"
" okay 30 seconds i can do this"
picture 4.kardiegon runs over a sudden hill its muddy
"wahh oh no" "no no no"
picture 5. kardiegon falls over head first onto a barrel
picture 6. kardiegon and the barrel are sliding down the hill at a super fast speed.
kardiegon "WOAAAAAAAAAAAA" you see a small ramp at the end of the hill
PAGE 14. picture1. kardiegons gone over the ramp and is now flying in mid air barrels
"oh please god if you can hear me please let me land saftly!!!!!!"
picture 2. guy on the microphone "WE HAVE TEN SECONDS LEFT FOR ENTRANTS TO BE AT YOUR CHOSEN SKILLS RING.. AND WELL BEGIN THE EXAMS!!!"
PICTURE 3. archer leader testing the young archers is addressing all the archers that are entering the exams.
"so now we have all our contestents be prepared i take no messing around in these classes"
"you will be the best of the best"
kardiegon "AHHHHHHH" Kardiegons not seen on the picture.
picture 4. kardiegons splatted in the mud and everyones staring down at him.
kardiegon-"im here" "ewhashsdjf"