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Thread: Universal Guardian Episode 1 (B)(M-15)

  1. #1
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Elite Knight's Avatar
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    Universal Guardian Episode 1 (B)(M-15)

    Universal Guardian

    Mod or admin please Change title to Universal Guardian.

    Get Ready Guys For A Long Story.

    About 70 Episodes
    With 10 Parts Each Or More.

    Please Post Any Spelling And Gramma Problem So I Can Fix.
    Also Report Any Swaring I Missed In It So I Can Remove It.
    Part 2 In Progress
    Episode One Part One

    +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
    | Universal Guardian |
    | Episode One |
    | The Beginning |
    +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
    In the beginning all life starts off as something from bacteria. But what most people wonder is where did their race come from why are they here did they use to be something ells or did they just appear out of nowhere that’s the question. But to all we know we come from somewhere and something, and have our reasons for being here but not that many know it.
    So we start this story off about a race of creatures called Universal Guardians.
    ‘Chris Ikathara’ is special guardian baby just born like any normal guardian baby would be but his parents knew otherwise.
    ‘Jessica Mosic’ this girl meets Chris on earth when they are four earth time but Jess has no idea who she really is, she looks like a normal human or is she.
    Eliza Elhomha’ is the princess of the light guardians and has a special power hidden within her and has verity of special abilities but her life is not all that it seems.
    But to their knowing these three will one day meet and their life’s in intertwine with each other and change forever.
    What is a guardian has a job of protection all those other universes out there besides theirs and the life within them. Let along the most powerful race ever to exist as well has having wings are an angel who doesn’t want any.
    Well ok there are two types of guardians light and dark, Chris he is both, normal for some guardians but Chris is different he has more power than a normal guardian should and they realized he wasn’t any ordinary guardian but he is a special guardian very special.
    Ok we start off where Alaina and Jasmic Chris’s parents are trying their best to get to the light guardians portal to send Chris to a safe location because the evil force “Ethar” is chasing them and trying to kill Chris because of his special powers but as any good parent would want is there kids safety even if they have to give up there kid or their own life. But Ethar will not stop into Chris is dead.
    +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
    | Rumble of thunder |
    *Alaina* lets hurry Jas we have to get Chris as far away as possible from this maniac
    *Jasmic* I know, I know but I only have two hands I can’t fight and hold Chris at the same time
    *Alaina* all right then hand him to me and try and hold him back as much as possible
    | Jasmic hands Alaina Chris |
    *Jasmic* here, hold him tight
    *Alaina* got him
    Jasmic tries to fight off Ethar as Alaina is getting to the portal faster then she though she has always been faster than Jasmic but never this fast maybe it was a mother’s intuition or just luck but she got there in no time while Jasmic hold off Ethar
    *Alaina* yes I finally made it
    Alaina made it and so she heads to the computer to put in a random universe to send Chris but knowingly she will send him to a one that’s very similar to the guardian’s one now
    *Jasmic* hey Alaina can you hurry it up
    *Alaina* ok I am but what universe
    *Jasmic* any
    | Alaina starts pressing random buttons |
    *Alaina* universe 627, that will have to do
    *Jasmic* got it
    *Alaina* yes I have…., what the heck
    *Jasmic* what, please don’t tell me it’s a error
    *Alaina* no delay on the portal opening
    *Jasmic* oh my god how long
    *Alaina* don’t shout, 2 minuets
    *Jasmic* no time he will be here in less than that
    *Alaina* yes I know
    *Ethar* you don’t know how right you are
    *Jasmic* what the heck where did you come from weren’t you back there
    *Ethar* yes but I used my special teleporting power
    | Ethar teleports |
    *Ethar* like that
    | He punches Alaina |
    *Ethar* he’s mine, give him
    *Alaina* like heck I will, I’m not giving my only son
    *Ethar* you will
    | Ethar snatches Chris |
    *Alaina* what the heck, give him back
    *Jasmic* damn it
    *Ethar* this is for the dark guardians
    | Ethar charges up for a attack |
    *Alaina* NO
    *Jasmic* NO
    *Ethar* TAKE THIS
    | Ethar attacks Chris |
    *Alaina* Chris no
    | Alaina starts crying |
    *Jasmic* you damn idiot
    *Ethar* now you know why you shouldn’t mess with us
    *Alaina* damn it he’s dead my only son dead
    *Ethar* that’s right your, he’s dea…..
    In the commotion they here a noise, its Chris he’s alive
    *Ethar* what there is no way
    *Alaina* Chris he’s, he’ssss
    *Jasmic* ALIVE
    Ethar was so shocked that Ethar just keep looking at his hand in shock, but while he was in the state Alaina has her chance to get Chris away from him and she did
    *Alaina* now my chance
    *Jasmic* yes she got him
    | The portal opens |
    *Jasmic* now your chance
    *Alaina* ok I’ll be back you better be when I get back
    *Jasmic* I will you just get Chris out of here
    *Alaina* ok
    | Alaina entered the portal |
    *Ethar* what get back here
    Before Ethar gets a chance the portal closes before he can enter and once a portal closes you can’t track them
    *Jasmic* I am not letting you get away this time
    *Ethar* yea you wish
    *Jasmic* remember who I am, I am a dark guardian like you
    *Ethar* crap I forgot that
    Ethar stumbles on what to do and then he makes the most drastic yet weak decision, he runs
    *Ethar* stuff this I am out of here
    | Ethar runs |
    *Jasmic* what the heck he ran again, damn he acts tuff but he’s a huge pussy
    While that was underway Alaina was just about to exit on the other side of the portal with Chris
    | Portal opens |
    *Alaina* ok I’m here. Hmm this doesn’t seem such a bad place
    | Chris starts to cry |
    *Alaina* common Chris don’t cry it will make it harder for me to give you up
    Alaina is making a big choice here take Chris back with her or give him up, but the best for Chris is if she hides him and suppresses his powers.
    *Alaina* ok this place has a nice fell to it’s I’ll leave him here
    | Alaina puts Chris at the front door |
    *Alaina* ok Chris I’ll leave you here and I’ll see you soon but for now stay here and grow up
    | Alaina starts crying |
    *Alaina* sure hope they read this note
    Alaina made the biggest decision of giving Chris up, he has more chance of survival put somewhere secrete
    *Alaina* well Chris I’m going to miss you
    | Alaina starts crying |
    *Alaina* I know this seems like I’m just dumping you here but I have to give you up, I don’t want you dead before you grow up but don’t worry I will see you again one day. But for now I guess this is good bye
    | Portal reopens |
    *Alaina* good bye my son
    |Portal closes |
    So as Alaina gave up Chris he sits outside a house that he was just left at and not knowing what will happen to him
    | Chris starts crying again |
    *Hallan* what’s that noise
    *Connor* what noise
    *Hallan* I don’t know let’s just go back to sleep
    *Connor* already have
    As Chris keeps crying Hallan starts to pick up what the noise is and she all of a sudden jumps out of bed and runs to the front door
    *Hallan* no way
    *Connor* what’s the problem dear
    | Hallan opens the front door |
    *Alaina* what the heck… A baby
    *Connor* what’s the problem
    *Hallan* someone left a baby at our front door
    *Connor* what
    *Hallan* see
    *Connor* who on earth would leave a baby out side in the wet and cold
    *Hallan* I don’t know
    *Connor* well bring him in we can’t just leave the little guy out there
    *Hallan* right
    | Hallan shuts the door |
    *Connor* hmmm what’s this a note
    *Hallan* really read it
    *Connor* ok
    | Connor opens the note |
    *Connor* it say’s, I’m very sorry for leaving my son here but I can’t look after him as he is danger and I don’t want my son to die at a very young age, you might notice something different about Chris he doesn’t look like your people so don’t be afraid. Chris is something called a guardian, as most people would call him an alien
    *Hallan* what a alien
    *Connor* apparently so
    *Hallan* read the rest
    *Connor* ok, If you want proof just look at his back you will see wings
    *Hallan* hmmmm
    *Connor* well
    *Hallan* my god the note is right
    *Connor* they can’t be real
    | Chris starts to cry |
    *Connor* my god there real
    *Hallan* well I’ll be they are to
    Hallan and Connor were shocked to find out who Chris really is and will they accept who he is or reject
    *Connor* well lets worry about this tomorrow let’s find the little guy somewhere to sleep
    *Hallan* ok
    Hallan and Connor accept Chris and they want him somewhere to sleep.
    +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
    | Six Teen Years Later |
    +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
    It’s fifth teen years later and Chris has grown up to become a very good looking boy and along with his best friend since four Jessica Mosic and other friends Collin and Michal he has grown up like a normal human but has kept his secrete for that long only Jess Michal and Collin know who he really is as well as Connor and Hallan as Chris knows he life is normal but all of that is about to change
    *Bus Driver* 1$ please
    *Chris* here
    | Give Bus Driver 1$ |
    *Bus Driver* thanks, take a seat
    Hello there my name is Chris, Chris Ikathara I am a six teen year old teen ager well I think I am but who knows, as a kid I was put here on earth yes I know I’m not human because what human has wings like a angel plus has the sorts of abilities I have
    *Jess* hey Chris
    *Chris* her Jess
    This is Jess my best friend since I was four, Jess has been with me since by my side in the worst of times as well as I have. She lost her parents at a young age so since then she has been staying with me since I don’t sleep well I don’t have to she sleeps in my bed
    *Jess* how was your day
    *Chris* pretty good as always, got to go home and work on that video for someone
    *Jess* ah that’s right
    Jess and Chris were on the bus well were and they got off Jess had something to do so Chris went on ahead to meet Colin and Michal Chris’s other friends
    *Chris* hey guys
    *Collin* hey….
    *Tim* well, well what do we have here
    *Chris* what do you want I’m not in the mood
    *Tim* what are you freaks doing down the street shouldn’t you be fucking each other instead
    *Chris* just shut up and go away
    *Tim* what eve…. Hey what’s this?
    *Chris* hmmm
    | Grabs Necklace|
    *Tim* what’s this necklace
    *Chris* WHAT… GIVE THAT BACK
    *Tim* why
    *Chris* it’s mine
    *Tim* so I’m going to keep this it looks nice
    *Chris* Give it
    *Tim* no
    *Chris* now
    *Tim* make me
    *Chris* it was from my mother
    *Tim* come again
    *Chris* it’s from my mother I have never meet
    *Tim* so your saying you’re a orphan
    *Chris* yes I am
    *Tim* ow...
    | Tim Freezes and Jess come out of nowhere |
    *Jess* what is going on here
    | Jess Punches Tim |
    *Tim* what was that for you
    *Jess* give it now
    *Tim* fine have it
    | Tim Chucks It |
    *Chris* crap catch it
    | Jess Catches the Necklace |
    *Jess* here man
    *Chris* thanks Jess
    *Jess* no worries
    | Phone Ring |
    *Chris* hello
    *Hallan* hey Chris can you come home now
    *Chris* why
    *Hallan* me and Connor have a to take a trip to England for a week and we need you home
    *Chris* ow ok I’ll be right there
    *Hallan* thank see you then
    *Chris* ok
    | Chris Hangs Up Phone |
    *Jess* we have to go home
    *Chris* yes Hallan said they have to take a trip to England for a week
    *Jess* ok lets go I’m board anyways
    *Chris* ok, see you guys
    *Michal & Collin* see you later guys
    | Jess and Chris Wave By |
    +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
    | One Hour Later |
    +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
    *Chris* where home
    *Hallan* hey Chris you know everything there food in our house if u need any for the way you two eat ok
    *Chris* ok guys take care
    *Hallan* by Chris
    *Connor* by take care of the house
    *Jess & Chris* by guys
    So Hallan & Connor are on a trip to England and Chris and Jess are home alone for a week as it’s a normal thing for them
    So it’s been five hours and Chris and Jess have been playing video games a normal thing as they normally do
    *Jess* beat you again
    *Chris* damn I can beat anyone except you
    *Jess* ha, ha
    *Chris* anyways what’s the time
    *Jess* um 11:45 pm why
    | Chris Puts Down Controller |
    *Chris* need to go to the toilet
    *Jess* ok
    | Chris Runs Out the Back Door |
    Chris lies and runs out the door down the road. An hour as passed and Jess haven’t seen Chris come back yet and starts to worry
    *Jess* Chris where are out
    | Jess See’s Door Open |
    *Jess* why is the back door open
    | Jess Notices Something |
    Jess See’s a light down the road and wonders what it is so she starts running to see what it is
    *Jess* what is that
    | Jess Reaches the River down The Road|
    *Jess* oh my god what is that light
    | Jess is gazed at it |
    *Jess* wow that’s pretty, what is it
    | Light stop fading and Jess see’s who it is |
    *Chris* ah done
    *Jess* oh my God Chris
    Jess has seen something new Chris has never told her about and she is wondering why he is doing it and was shocked to see it.



    Need Opinions.
    Last edited by Elite Knight; June 01, 2009 at 05:40 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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  2. #2
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member beltranl's Avatar
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    Re: Universal Guardian Episode 1 (B)(M-15)

    I think it could be a goo story if you organized it better. I think the way they show their emotions to the chase is comical and i'm not sure that is what you were going for. Just think about the dialogue

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