Not a member? Register now!
Announcements
Manga returns! Catch up with the details. Enjoy downloading, translating, and scanlating manga HERE legally!
Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter! Celebrate another year with MH and read our yearbook.
Manga News: Check out this week's new manga (8/25/14 - 8/31/14).
Forum News: Visit new sections for Nisekoi and Kingdom!
Translations: Gintama 507 (2)
New Reply
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Gintama 76

  1. #1
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member Amzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    California, USA
    Country
    United States
    Age
    25
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    74
    Post Thanks / Like

    Gintama 76

    Requesting another translation check. ^^ I tried using fouler and more casual language than before. Hope it's okay. Also, there's an old man in this chapter who talks kinda weird, so I'm not sure if the way I translated his speech was able to capture the original tone.

    RAW | Translation
    Last edited by Amzy; May 28, 2009 at 10:20 PM.

  2. #2
    Translator 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member Meriken's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Country
    United States
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    79
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Gintama 76

    Ahhh, the chapter you asked me about. And it's a chapter that shows just how freaking difficult gag manga is to translate. Again, it's really noble of you to take care of these chapters that no one else dares to touch.

    A prime example of how difficult this is shows up on the very first page:

    ― 缶ふんー
    The can is—
    だぱんぷ!!
    Tapunpo!!


    缶ふんだ=I stepped on the can. That's the base sentence, even though the frame depicts her kicking it. There are two puns in just this one opening frame. Both of which can't be translated into English.

    1) The female character is Chinese, and "Kung Fu" (カンフー; pronouced kanfuu) the stereotypical Chinese past-time, sounds a lot like 缶ふん(だ). Hence the jumping kick and the Bruce Lee-esque shout; ちょおお.
    2) The other one is だぱんぷ (Da Pump). The author is connecting the "だ" from 缶ふん and ぱんぷ, and Da Pump is the name of a Japanese boy band (try googling it). I think a TL note is in order here. At least for the Da Pump part.


    The improvement from the previous chapter is quite visible, and I don't see the need for me to go through the whole thing this time. Just a couple notes:

    ― この度は ご愁傷様です
    This time, it’s Shuushou-sama.

    You misunderstood this part. This is a common phrase used in Japan to express sympathy at a funeral. So try something like "I'm sorry for your loss"


    Putting "Old" before "geezer" is superfluous. Geezer already means "old man."


    ― 缶蹴りで 一人の獲物を深追いするなんて 愚の骨頂
    In kick-the-can, chasing after only one person for too long is a big mistake!

    Nothing really wrong with this part, but 愚の骨頂 is a really strong and interesting phrase, and "big mistake" is a little weak in comparison. I think you can exaggerate more, especially given that this is such a ridiculous manga to begin with. A lot of things would work, I personally would use "pinnacle of stupidity."


    Flow can always be tweaked and improved in any translation. Here's an example where I think the flow is really nice:
    軍曹!! この負け犬を軍法会議に!
    Sergeant!! Let’s court-martial this loser!

    Spot on accurate, and the sentence structure is even the same to boot. Nice flow. Next, a spot where it can be improved:
    ― 覚えてないなら 無理しないでくれる? つーかアナタ お葬式に なんて格好で来てんの
    If you don’t remember it, then don’t lie to me. Moreover, what kind of outfit do you think you’re wearing at a funeral?

    You translated visually, splitting up the Japanese into blocks, and then connecting them with punctuation. That's a perfectly legitimate way to start off, but it shouldn't end there. Rework the sentences to create better flow, and consider that the tone is very casual. And "Moreover" isn't something a young girl like that would say.
    suggestion=You don't need to lie if you don't remember. Anyways, that's no outfit to wear to a funeral.


    Try looking over it again with some of this in mind. I personally like the fouler language better (maybe I've just been hanging out with the wrong people) but consider that "ジジイ" isn't a very nice thing to say even without "クソ" in front of it. So "Gramps" is too kind.
    Last edited by Meriken; May 28, 2009 at 02:00 PM.

  3. #3
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member Amzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    California, USA
    Country
    United States
    Age
    25
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    74
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Gintama 76

    Wow, I totally did not get the Da Pump reference or the Bruce Lee reference at all. I went through and made the changes for everything. Whew, I'm glad I'm only temporarily translating this series. ^^;

  4. #4
    Translator 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member Meriken's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Country
    United States
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    79
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Gintama 76

    It's approved! I laughed when I saw "I stepped on -> Da pump". Putting it like that hadn't crossed my mind at all! Really well done.

New Reply

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts