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英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member
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Double checking a few lines
I finished some 55-page-translation today but there were a few lines I was not completely sure about. For that reason, it'd be really nice if anybody would be so kind as to double check my take on them and look for mistakes and/or provide some ideas as to how those passages would sound better.
The release can be found: here
The phrases (sometimes it's even just specific expressions) in question are preceded by the Japanese phrase I typed out from the raw.
Context should be given by reading a few of the preceding and following few lines. If you wish to see specific pages please tell me. I'll upload them and send you the links.
Thank you very much in advance!!
Not trying to be impatient or anything but maybe some users were "scared" of due to the length of the tl... so I'll just copy the phrases in here:
“Oumagadoki” – The time of twilight. A period of time when it gets hard to distinguish men from “things”. The time when people are said to encounter demons and evil spirits. <Also referred to as> The time of gloaming.
☆Gaze in astonishment!! Hidden deeply in mysteries lies a demonic charm!! The second of the intelligent and fantastic new series that’ll pierce trough darkness!! Opening Color, 54 Pages!!
Hana: Y-yeah… // You know how I love animals, right, and three days ago I noticed a job advertisement… // And so I thought about mustering every least bit of courage I have and…
科学の授業じゃボヤ騒ぎ！！ ハンド部は万年補欠！！ 何もないとこでこける！！ あんたのオニギリ砂糖ついてる！！甘っ
Girl 2: Causing uproar in chemistry class by setting things on fire!! // Being the eternal substitute in the handball team!! // Stumbling in just every thinkable situation!! // You even confused sugar and salt when you made your onigiri!! It’s sweet!
Shiina: There must be a great amount of things you want to ask / But I also got a question! // You didn’t lie when you wrote that your only motif for applying for the job // was because you love animals, did you?
Hana: JUST WHAT THE HELL IS THIIIIIIIII~~
Shiina: Don’t shout like that!!
Shiina: I mean, there were other applicants before but each and everyone of them was a jackass // They couldn’t put up with all this, went nuts and ran away
Shiina: Just shut up for a moment and listen
Flashback: That day, I had fun chasing a wild rabbit I happened to notice by chance
Bubble: Ever since I was a child I was doing nonsense…
その呪いは報い 解きたくば 動物… 生命への愛を示せ
Flashback: The curse is a punishment // If you wish to solve it… show your every love you have to animals!
Shiina: After the meet and greet to explain the whole situation / comes the in-service training. But that’s common knowledge society teaches you
Shiina: Well, well, let’s see how useful a person you are~
Shiina: All these things here in the park are my precious treasures. / In order to become the world’s greatest zoo you gotta be flashy and fun!
Hana: Those are totally different things!!
Hana (in picture): This person doesn’t understand.
Igarashi: Oh, Mr. Director, I hope you’re fine today!! So, it’s time for dinner! / I’d like some Arabesque greenling!
Hana (thoughts): Hrm, he’s the worst! / Isn’t he…!?
Igarashi: Excuse me, lady // Let me tell you this first, when you’re feeding me a fish like arabesque greenling, make sure the side on the front is...
Shiina: He’s a real scoundrel! He’s always writing his prayers and wishes on this super interesting sarcophagus I put up here.
Boss: What we shall do? You’re the one to tell me! // How are we proceeding!?
正規ルートでは入手しづらい動物を！ 奪い！！ 売り飛ばす！！！ 動物専門！！！！ 強盗団つ！！！！！
Minion 1: We’ll go with the usual modus operandi! First
Minion 2: We steal them!!
Minion 3: And then we sell them!!!
Minion 4: Specialized in dealing with animals!!!!
Minion 5: That’s the type of thieve gang we are!!!!!
Boss: Talking animals… just how friggin lots of many can we make of them…!? // Just thinking about it makes me all twitchy!!
Hana (thinking, in panel): That’s right!! // How could I leave this place if I can’t even do the things I love!?
Shiina: I was going to scan each and every corner of this place and finally kill her / but now this idiot goes on screaming all “Whaaa” like a retard.
Boss: What you think, you’re doing!?
Hana: Did you know? // Animals like seals / grow fur along their streamlined bodies that’s really wet / so if you hold them with their heads and tails like that…
Shiina: Cave in like the craters that are reflecting on the full moon!
Animals: Director!! It’s not that girl you’re beating up, is it!?
Shiina: It’s some guy I don’t know I knocked down!! // But his wounds aren’t severe enough yet!
Shiina: But your knowledge / ensures your value
Hana: So, there were some! Work clothes!! // How are they!? Do I look like an animal keeper!?
Shiina: They look funny on you!
Last edited by Mr. Prince; July 19, 2010 at 07:51 AM.
Reason: Automerged Doublepost