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Thread: Few lines

  1. #1
    Scanlator 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member Twi's Avatar
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    Few lines

    I just need a check on a few lines:

    この者の手助けをせよと仰せつかった。。。
    With this person's help,
    内蜜にだ。。。

    そうすれば。。。幕府から特別な 計らいがあると。。。
    That way, I gained special grace from the shogunate...
    このしろも。。。
    This castle...
    儂の領地も
    My territory
    家も。。。安泰だと。。。
    My home....Security...
    。。。ががな。。
    ....But...
    だがな!!
    But!!

    Page 31
    儂はこのような僻地で終るのは嫌じゃ!
    As if I could be happy in this remote place!
    だからな!
    That's why!
    その男が追う相手幕府に仇なすモノからの誘いを受け入れたのよ!
    I accepted a chance to get revenge on the shogunate!
    ははははは!! そうとも! 儂はまだ徳川の世に納得したわけではない!
    Hahahahaha! Not only that! I will never consent to Tokugawa age!
    戦国に出遅れたなど。。。。国盗とりの夢が終ったなど。。。
    The late start of the warring era....this dream of this country ended....
    儂は認めぬ!!!
    I'll only accept that!!!

    Page 32

    幕府に仇なすモノが放った゛死゛だ
    I will let "Death" loose on the shogunate
    思ったよりその男が手強くて手こずったが。。。。
    Who would have thought this man would be so much trouble to dispose of...
    ふふ。。。その傷では退けられまい
    Fufu....He's rejecting that wound
    儂は手を下さない
    I can't do it myself it seems
    だが ゛そいつ゛がその男を連れていってくれる
    はははは!
    But "That guy" will drag him along
    Hahahahaha!
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  2. #2
    Translator 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member
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    Re: Few lines

    Bit of a difficult translation there! It's hard to know quite what's going on without any context, but I'll write down everything I noticed. Hope it helps!
    From the top:

    *I was ordered, confidentially(内密に, check your kanji), to help this person
    (仰せつかる is ordered or commanded -> http://dic.yahoo.co.jp/dsearch?enc=U...index=00501100 )

    *I was told that if I did, there would be a special reward from the shogunate

    *I think the 安泰だと is referring to the "reward" from the shogunate. I.e. they promised they would keep his castle and lands safe/secure. So you could translate it as, "safe, they said!" "said they would keep them safe!" or something like that.

    *その男が追う相手幕府に仇なすモノからの誘いを受け入れたのよ!
    Bit of a tricky sentence to figure out. Makes it easier if you think その男が相手=幕府に仇なすモノ. So something like - I accepted an offer from that man's target (opponent, enemy, person he was after etc), someone sworn against the shogunate (out to get revenge on, pitted against, seeking revenge on etc) Does that help? Maybe "enemy of the shogunate" is simplest?

    *そうとも!is probably closer "That's right!" or "You heard me" or some other emphatic exclamation rather than "that's not all" --> http://eow.alc.co.jp/そうとも/UTF-8/

    * "I will never" is a bit too strong for まだ I think. "I haven't yet" or "I still haven't" might be closer to the mark.

    *how about phrasing 徳川の世 as "Tokugawa's reign" or rule or something similar?

    *儂は認めぬ is the same as 儂は認めない... so I won't/can't/will never accept. This makes the line above it a bit clearer as well, so "I'll never accept that we joined the war late or that our dream of stealing the land/usurping the throne/taking over the country..." not quite sure how 国盗りの夢 should be translated, context could help there.

    * The "death" unleashed by the enemy of the shogunate.
    He was surprisingly/unexpectedly strong/powerful/skilled and hard to dispose of/deal with/take down/defeat.

    *退けられまい = 退けないでしょう = 逃げ切れないでしょう, so, "He'll never manage to escape with that wound" i.e. the guy is badly injured, he's never going to make it out. Close to "with a wound like that, he's finished/he doesn't have a hope" etc

    *儂は手を下さない -> 手を下すcan be "I won't have a hand in it", so here it seems to be he's saying "I won't be the one to kill him" or "I won't finish him off"


    Hope that helps! Let me know if anything isn't clear.
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  3. #3
    Registered User 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member mote's Avatar
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    Re: Few lines

    I think flunko's got it covered. Just adding some nitpicks

    Quote Originally Posted by Twi View Post
    家も。。。
    My home
    I think 家 here works better as family or household, judging from the context.

    Quote Quote:
    儂はこのような僻地で終るのは嫌じゃ!
    As if I could be happy in this remote place!
    "Remote place" sounds boring. Use a better word like "backwater." Spice it up a bit

  4. #4
    Scanlator 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member Twi's Avatar
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    Re: Few lines

    Thanks. Both of you.
    Twi
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