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Thread: Request a Full Translation Check

  1. #136
    Translator 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member fosskers's Avatar
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    Re: my practice thread

    You could go for not being so literal.
    Regardless of the language, words all connect to something central. That is "meaning".
    If you can take sentences in Japanese and recognize their meaning, translating what it says by going word for word is not the best approach. Ask yourself, "How can I express this meaning in English?" This might change things a little bit, and the words might not even be the same, but this is one way to increase overall flow for the reader, which is ultimately your goal in the end.

    [Maximum7 Bleach Translator]
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    [The fosskers Thread]

  2. #137
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
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    Re: my practice thread

    Quote Originally Posted by fosskers View Post
    You could go for not being so literal.
    Regardless of the language, words all connect to something central. That is "meaning".
    If you can take sentences in Japanese and recognize their meaning, translating what it says by going word for word is not the best approach. Ask yourself, "How can I express this meaning in English?" This might change things a little bit, and the words might not even be the same, but this is one way to increase overall flow for the reader, which is ultimately your goal in the end.

    i ca't get any meaning at all...

    it's like the furigana don't even belong to the kanji, and i get confused as hell.

  3. #138
    Translator 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member fosskers's Avatar
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    Re: my practice thread

    Then you, sir, need a good dictionary.

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  4. #139
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Krizy's Avatar
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    Re: [Seinen] Vagabond 253 by Krizy

    Ack, sorry for the late reply! I've been busy >_<! I'll start on chapter 252 asap. If I don't post my translation tonight, I'll post it tomorrow

    Quote Originally Posted by kaya View Post
    You understand the content very well, and they are well-expressed.(which achieve the point of what translations should be.) Your problem lie more with English than with Japanese, as you may have a bit of problem to express this naturally in English. And I think this mistake is quite easily made especially if you translate from the Japanese very literally. Other than that, I don't see any major problem at all.
    Thanks! - Yeah, I do tend to translate perhaps a bit too literally here and there... I guess it's because I prefer to stick as close to the original meaning/sentence as possible (whilst trying to make it understandable/sound natural in English).

    Quote Quote:
    So what this sentense meant is, the meaning to "live by the sword" will change together with the evolving world.
    Precisely ^^

    Quote Quote:
    The phrasing here is a little unnatural and unclear here. This sentence talks about Musashi and Kojirou, the type of people who depended heavily on the sword, will eventually ended up with nothing if they don't change.
    That's the kind of nuance I was trying to portray in my translation, heh. ^^ English is my native tongue, yet there are times I admit, when I find it quite tricky to word what I understand in Japanese into English (that doesn't lose its original meaning). :S

    Quote Quote:
    Now all you need is more experiences so go, do more translation works.

    Lots of Kudos to you!
    Thanks! I originally intended to post this as a one-off translation, to show my appreciation for the raw chapter (I had some free time so I translated it for fun). However, I don't mind continuing to help out at all Hopefully my translation skills will improve lol.

    Anyway, thank you for your feedback and suggestions, kaya - I appreciate it. Your comments have been helpful.
    Last edited by Krizy; August 28, 2008 at 01:48 AM.
    悪魔は泣いたりなんかしない。
    ~:My deviantART page:~

  5. #140
    Scanlator 上級員 / Jyoukuuin / Sr. Member Aladar's Avatar
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    Re: [Seinen] Vagabond 253 by Krizy

    Wouldn't it be better to translate something that isn't being actively translated? By almost-professional translator, to boot..
    Tell me you've been bad. Nice and clear.

  6. #141
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member yal's Avatar
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    Re: [Seinen] Vagabond 253 by Krizy

    WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PICK VAGABOND? ;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;
    Manga Recommendations:
    - AP: Moonlight, Berserk, Biomega, Blade of the Immortal, Blood Alone, Bokko, Cesare, Dangu, Eden, Freesia, Genshiken, Kiseijuu, Historie, Homunculus, Hourou Musuko, Leviathan, Lone Wolf and Cub, Mercenary Pierre, MPD Psycho, Mushishi, Pilgrim Jäger, Real, Samurai Executioner, Shigurui, Sidooh, SWWEEET, The World Is Mine, Vagabond, Vinland Saga, What a Wonderful World, et. al..

  7. #142
    Scanlator 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member Not_Log's Avatar
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    Re: [Seinen] Vagabond 253 by Krizy

    Well, he's free to translate whatever he wants, but we won't be using it so it's kind of fruitless effort.

  8. #143
    Scanlator 上級員 / Jyoukuuin / Sr. Member Alan Smithee's Avatar
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    Re: [Seinen] Vagabond 253 by Krizy

    She... and even if it's not going to be used for a scanlation some people like to have the translation just to get a vague idea of what's going on and then of course download the strays release when it's out.

  9. #144
    Scanlator 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member Not_Log's Avatar
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    Re: [Seinen] Vagabond 253 by Krizy

    Bothering to look at symbols is too much effort for me when I'm just here to tell my staff to shut up.

  10. #145
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member yal's Avatar
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    Re: [Seinen] Vagabond 253 by Krizy

    Oh, and please don't get me wrong. It's great that you translate, really.
    It's just that there are tons of untranslated/stopped series out there, which are SO awesome and so many groups are in the need for translators that you might want to consider translating some other series.
    Keep up the good work! Just on another series please! :S
    Manga Recommendations:
    - AP: Moonlight, Berserk, Biomega, Blade of the Immortal, Blood Alone, Bokko, Cesare, Dangu, Eden, Freesia, Genshiken, Kiseijuu, Historie, Homunculus, Hourou Musuko, Leviathan, Lone Wolf and Cub, Mercenary Pierre, MPD Psycho, Mushishi, Pilgrim Jäger, Real, Samurai Executioner, Shigurui, Sidooh, SWWEEET, The World Is Mine, Vagabond, Vinland Saga, What a Wonderful World, et. al..

  11. #146
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Krizy's Avatar
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    Re: [Seinen] Vagabond 253 by Krizy

    With all due respect, in no way did I post my translation with the intention of 'taking over' the position or whatnot of your current translator. I'm actually annoyed that I'm having to justify myself like this. Anyone who actually read my posts would see that I only posted it as a one-off translation, though I did imply that I would be willing to help out more - should my help be needed. I translated the chapter before I even decided to post it here - and even so, I posted it as a 'thank you' for the raw, since I noticed no other translation had been posted yet - Also another reason why I posted it in this section and not the "latest translations" section.

    Quote Originally Posted by Not_Log View Post
    Well, he's free to translate whatever he wants, but we won't be using it so it's kind of fruitless effort.
    I don't care whether you consider it a fruitless effort or not, to be honest. To me it's quite the opposite, not to mention it's good practice and was fun, especially translating a series I just got into and am already overly addicted to. Yes you're right, I'm free to translate whatever I like regardless. =/

    Quote Quote:
    WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PICK VAGABOND? ;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;
    Because I love Vagabond. o_o Not to mention I'm somewhat fussy about what manga I translate - If it's a series I'm hooked on then I wouldn't hesitate, but if not, then I'd most likely find it too tedious to keep translating eventually, 'cause I'd have lost interest :S

    Quote Originally Posted by Aladar View Post
    Wouldn't it be better to translate something that isn't being actively translated? By almost-professional translator, to boot..
    I've noticed other people posting their translations here, even though there are already 'official' versions that are released as well - So surely I'm not doing any harm by posting my translation for Vagabond here. This is a practice section after all, is it not?

    Anyway, I agree with Alan Smithee. I just thought that if I posted my translation it'd help out in some way for those who are itching to know what's going on and don't understand Japanese - then download the 'official' scanlation or whatever. Also, I wasn't expecting to have my translation used in any scanlation. :S

    Actually, I don't really have the time right now to be an ongoing translator here, let alone a 'full time' translator. >_<; That and I feel that I'm not experienced enough. Though having said that, I will be posting my translation for Vagabond 252, for those who had asked me to do so - and it will be my last translation for now. Thank you to those who appreciated my work and/or found it helpful.
    悪魔は泣いたりなんかしない。
    ~:My deviantART page:~

  12. #147
    Scanlator 上級員 / Jyoukuuin / Sr. Member Aladar's Avatar
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    Re: [Seinen] Vagabond 253 by Krizy

    Quote Originally Posted by Krizy View Post
    With all due respect, in no way did I post my translation with the intention of 'taking over' the position or whatnot of your current translator. I'm actually annoyed that I'm having to justify myself like this. Anyone who actually read my posts would see that I only posted it as a one-off translation, though I did imply that I would be willing to help out more - should my help be needed. I translated the chapter before I even decided to post it here - and even so, I posted it as a 'thank you' for the raw, since I noticed no other translation had been posted yet - Also another reason why I posted it in this section and not the "latest translations" section.
    Don't get me wrong, I never wanted to imply that. I merely wanted to point out, that it will be awesome if you would start some new series, because you seem pretty skilled, and there are countless great unscanlated manga out there. In the end, it's of course your call what you will do.

    Quote Originally Posted by Krizy View Post
    I've noticed other people posting their translations here, even though there are already 'official' versions that are released as well - So surely I'm not doing any harm by posting my translation for Vagabond here. This is a practice section after all, is it not?

    Anyway, I agree with Alan Smithee. I just thought that if I posted my translation it'd help out in some way for those who are itching to know what's going on and don't understand Japanese - then download the 'official' scanlation or whatever. Also, I wasn't expecting to have my translation used in any scanlation. :S

    Actually, I don't really have the time right now to be an ongoing translator here, let alone a 'full time' translator. >_<; That and I feel that I'm not experienced enough. Though having said that, I will be posting my translation for Vagabond 252, for those who had asked me to do so - and it will be my last translation for now. Thank you to those who appreciated my work and/or found it helpful.
    Again, I wasn't implying that you are somewhat parasiting on other's work - noone has exclusive rights to do it, and anyone is free to contribute to the community the way he/she sees fit. My apologies if my previous post sounded offensive in any way, god knows we need every good translator that decides to do seinen series.
    Tell me you've been bad. Nice and clear.

  13. #148
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Krizy's Avatar
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    Vagabond [Seinen] Vagabond 252 by Krizy

    Hi again~ I'm kinda going backwards with already having posted 253 a few days ago (oops). Actually I wasn't gonna post another translation, but since some people had asked me to, I decided to give it a shot Enjoy!

    ~Notes by me are marked with an asterisk *
    ============================

    バガボンド#252 ― 翻訳者: Krizy

    ------------------------------------

    Page 1:

    どうだね 
    How is it

    無理すなよ
    Don't overdo it now

    ・・・・・

    ===
    Page 2-3:

    #252捕らわれの武蔵
    An Imprisoned Musashi

    ===
    Page 4:

    棒っきれのようだ
    I feel like a worn-out stick

    前へも、後へも、踏み出せねえ
    I can't even step forward or backward...

    棒か
    A stick, eh

    しゃあないわな
    Well, it can't be helped

    どれ・・・・
    let me see....

    ===
    Page 5:

    ぐるぐるに固めてまうよ
    I'll wrap this around to support your leg

    天はお前にもう― 斬り合いを望んでおられないということじゃないのかね
    Doesn't it make sense that the heavens don't want you to fight anymore?

    ===
    Page 6-7:

    [二条城]
    [Nijou castle]

    [その北に隣接する京都所司代]
    [The Kyoto Shoshidai to the north]

    [武蔵の身はその一隅に捕らわれていた]
    [Musashi himself had been confined to that cell]

    これは驚きました
    What a surprise it was

    光悦殿が武蔵とお知り合いであられたとは
    to find out that you were even acquainted with Musashi!

    ===
    Page 8:

    [京都所司代板倉勝重]
    [The Kyoto Shoshidai, Itakura Katsushige]

    確かめに来ました
    I came to see for myself

    友人が捕らわれたと聞きまして、、、
    I heard a friend was taken prisoner...

    光悦殿も御存知でしょうが、先の一乗寺下り松における吉岡一門との死闘―
    I suppose you know of the recent death match regarding the Yoshioka clan at the pine of Ichijouji--

    これは果たし状もなく見届け人もない
    There was neither a letter of challenge, nor any witnesses

    つまり、正式な決闘とは認められませんでしたよって
    So it wasn't recognized as a formal duel

    武蔵を召し捕りました
    I had Musashi apprehended

    ===
    Page 9:

    斬りも斬ったり七十人!
    He outright cut down 70 men!

    これはどうやら吉岡側に非がある
    It looks as though the Yoshioka are to blame

    七十対一ならば斬るしかないではないですか
    I would assume that since it was 70 vs 1, he'd have no choice but to take them all out.

    武蔵に罪があるとすればただ― 強すぎたことか
    If he's found guilty-- it would be because he was too strong

    御心配なさるな、光悦殿 悪いようにはしません
    Do not worry, Kouetsu-dono. I'll make sure nothing bad happens.

    、、、感謝いたします
    ...I am most grateful

    ===
    Page 10:

    しばらくは捕らわれの身でいた方が武蔵のためでもあるかもなぜなら―
    Thus, it might be best if Musashi remains here as a prisoner for a little while.

    京にいれば吉岡の縁者との係わりも出てこようし
    Those who have connections with relatives of the Yoshioka may turn up if he stays in the capital.

    名を上げたい武芸者には今や武蔵は一番の標的
    Now Musashi is the number one target of martial artists who wish to make a name for themselves.

    怪我を治す間だけでもここにつながれていた方がよいさらには―
    Which is why it would be best for him to be kept here, even if it's just while his injuries heal.

    武蔵の身辺はいくぶん騒がしくなってきています
    People are starting to talk more about Musashi these days

    諸藩より身分の照会
    Inquiries from various clans...

    仕官の誘い
    Invitations to serve as a Samurai

    とにかく会いたいなどなど、、、
    In any case they want to meet him, etc.

    私のとこにも似た手紙が来ました
    I also got a similar letter

    光悦殿にも
    You received one too?

    御友人であるとの噂を聞いての事でしょうな
    They probably heard rumours that he's a friend of yours.

    ===
    Page 11:

    まだまだこの世は泰平には至ず、、、
    This world has yet to attain peace...

    猛き虎を見つけたら手許に置きたいのがいくさ人の常なのでしょう
    I guess a warrior tends to keep a ferocious tiger close at hand should he come across one.

    一乗寺の死体を御覧になりましたか、光悦殿
    Did you see the dead bodies of Ichijouji, Kouetsu-dono?

    いいえ
    No, I didn't

    私の感想ではあのようなこと―
    My thoughts are as I said before--

    たとえ将軍家指南役の柳生や小野であっても不可能だろうと
    Even the Shougun's instructors, Yagyuu and Ono wouldn't be capable of doing that

    七十からの死体のほとんどは一太刀で斬られてましたよ
    Most of the 70 had been cut down by a single stroke of his sword.

    、、、

    ===
    Page 12:

    安静に
    Get some rest

    なあ武蔵さんよ
    Say, Musashi-san

    その一太刀を負わせた人物に感謝なさいよ
    be grateful to the one who slashed you

    ===
    Page 13:

    光無き、、、
    Because,

    地獄の行き止まりへ向かうあんたを止めてくれたんだからねえ
    He saved you from heading towards the darkness... and the dead end of hell

    、、、

    ===
    Page 14:

    光無き、、、
    Darkness...

    地獄の行き止りだと、、、?
    The dead end of hell ...?

    俺の向かう道が?
    The path I'm on?/The path I follow?

    フン
    Hmph

    行ったことあんのかよ?
    How the hell would you know?!

    ===
    Page 15:

    何か?
    Something wrong?

    、、、

    (ガヤガヤ)
    (people chatting)

    お灸をすえられたなお通
    You got a good scolding eh, Otsuu.

    ぐむう
    Gumuu (grumble)

    あっいた!お師匠!!
    Ah, you're here! Master!!

    おししょ―――っ
    Master---!

    何でこんな牢屋に! お師匠は何も悪いことしてないやい!
    Why is he in jail like this! Hey! Master hasn't done anything wrong!

    出せ!
    Get him out!

    よせ城太郎 さすがに今度は説教ではすまんぞ!!
    That's enough Joutarou, or this time you won't get off with just a scolding!!

    ===
    Page 16:

    お灸って?
    A scolding?

    お前が連れて行かれたあとすごいことに
    Amazingly enough, after you were taken...

    おかしい絶対!! なんで武しゃんが悪いの!?
    This is absolutely outrageous!! Why are you blaming Take-shan!?

    そうだ! おししょうを返せ!!
    Yeah! Return my master!!

    うわコラ!?
    Argh, hey!

    不当逮捕!
    A wrongful charge!*
    (*ie: it's unfair/wrong that Musashi is being arrested)

    イヤ大変だった 説教ですんでよかったよ
    No, it was quite serious. Luckily they got off with a warning

    役人につかみかかるんだから
    She was gonna make a grab for him.

    もーやめてよ、沢庵さん!
    That's enough already, Takuan-san!

    ===
    Page 17:

    無茶すんな
    Don't be so reckless

    だって、、、
    But...

    、、、牢に入れられてるとはいえ
    ...Although you've been put in prison,

    大事に扱われているな
    You are being treated well here.

    こうして話すことも許されたし
    And we're even allowed to talk

    さて、、、話の途中だったな
    Well then... We were interrupted last time huh...

    別の道を生きるときじゃないか、武蔵?
    Isn't about time you live a different way, Musashi?

    ===
    Page 18-19:

    例えばお通とともに―
    Together with Otsuu, for instance--

    ねえ、お通さん
    Hey, Otsuu-san

    幸せかい?
    Are you happy?

    ===
    Page 20:

    望みが一つ叶って
    That your wish will be granted

    お師匠はもう剣ができなくなってきっとお通さんと一緒に暮らすんだろう
    Master won't be able to use a sword anymore, so surely he'll live with you

    よかったね
    It's good isn't it

    お通さんは剣を嫌いだから
    Because you dislike swords...

    たろちん何言って、、、
    Taro-chin, what are you saying...

    でもオラはどうなるのさ
    But like, what's gonna happen to me huh?

    お師匠はもう剣ができない
    Master is no longer able to wield his sword

    もうオラは
    So already I...

    ===
    Page 21:

    オラは先生を失ってしまったっ、、、!!
    I've already lost my sensei...!!

    どこにいても、離れてても、どこかでお師匠がきっと稽古をしてて
    No matter where I am, even if we get separated I'm sure master would be training somewhere,

    それでオラも木剣を振るっ
    So then I'll swing my bokken* too
    (*wooden sword)

    それでよかった
    That'd be fine

    約束したから
    Because he promised

    ===
    Page 22:

    一緒に強くなろうなって
    That we'd both become strong together

    それでよかったのに うぐっ
    That would've been fine... *sob*

    離れてたって ずっとオラの ひっく う
    Even if we do get separated, he'll always be *hic* *sob*

    お師匠
    My master

    うわああん ああああ
    Waaaaaahhhh

    ===
    Page 23:

    うわ
    Uwa

    アー
    Aaah

    武蔵殿に会いたいと
    It says he wants to meet with Musashi-dono

    剣術指南役に迎えたいと
    And make him a Kenjutsu instructor

    ===
    Page 24:

    江戸の偉いお方からですよ
    It's from an honourable person in Edo.

    季節の移ろうように 永遠につづくものなどない
    Like the seasons that change, nothing continues forever.

    漂泊の旅は終わりかしらね、武蔵さん、、、
    I wonder if your days of wandering have come to an end, Musashi-san...


    『バガボンド』#253は次号第36・37合併号に登場!
    Vagabond #253 will appear in the next combined issue of #36 and #37!


    (終わり)

    ============


    Thanks for reading Comments/suggestions are welcome.
    Edit: Oops, spelt 武蔵 as 'Takezou' instead of 'Musashi' at one point. Fixed XD
    Last edited by Krizy; August 29, 2008 at 07:40 AM.
    悪魔は泣いたりなんかしない。
    ~:My deviantART page:~

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  15. #149
    MH's Socialworker 伝説メンバー / Densetsu / Legendary Member eni's Avatar
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    Re: [Seinen] Vagabond 253 by Krizy

    @Strays: That's really not the way to reply on someone's work. As she already mentioned, this is the "Academy" which is the section for translators in training. The works posted here are not intended to be used for scanlations. Any further posts like this will be removed.

    @Krizy: Please don't take them as serious as they sound. They're very proud of the good job they do with the Vagabond releases and just a little worried that a public translation results into low quality speedscans. It's a hot topic for many HQ groups at the moment and not against you personally. Don't let it concern you. They also know very well that more dedicated seinen translators such as you are needed (and I'm pretty sure they would even welcome your help on one of their interesting projects, if you're interested *hint hint*)... the wording is just off >.>
    Last edited by eni; August 29, 2008 at 03:05 AM.

    ♥ Sorry, I'm Late. But I Got Lost On The Road Of Life. ♥

  16. #150
    MH Senpai 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Yabe's Avatar
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    Re: [Seinen] Vagabond 252 by Krizy

    Hoorah, you did it!! I feel so thankful. Thanks a lot, Krizy-sama. <33

    See you around the serie's discussion thread sometimes, ne? It's been so quiet there.

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