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Thread: Request a Full Translation Check

  1. #226
    Translator 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member tradedaemon's Avatar
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    Re: My first translation - comments please!

    Hey welcome to Mangahelpers.

    Very solid translations, good job. I'm not too sure about くぱぁ from the picture context, but that's negligible.

    Snoopycool did already finished the series, so efforts seem kind of wasted doing it again. But your time.
    http://snoopycool.com/manga/doubt/index.html
    Last edited by tradedaemon; March 22, 2009 at 04:33 PM.

  2. #227
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
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    Re: My first translation - comments please!

    Thank you! Yeah, I couldn't find what くぱぁ meant, I could only find some hentai meaning for it.

    Thanks for the link! Although they've already translated it into English, I'm going to work through the raws myself - crazy as it may sound, I think it'll be good practice (I definitely need it hehe ) I won't release it though I guess (since it's been done).

  3. #228
    Translator 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member tradedaemon's Avatar
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    Re: My first translation - comments please!

    I think it might actually mean to drip..... from seeing those same hentai pics. But ya, as learning tool, great idea. Think you can get tl checks on here too if you ask.

    Though personally, might get more experience working for a group that has a tsl checker. Especially if they have an text editor. Know my English improved a bit just working with a proofer. And you get feedback on what might sound a bit weird in English, because it's not just translating Japanese, it's about making it understandable and flowing in English. But up to you.
    Last edited by tradedaemon; March 23, 2009 at 03:22 AM.

  4. #229
    MH Senpai 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member DrPepperPro's Avatar
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    Shigurui chapter 54 translation check

    EDIT FROM THE FUTURE: IGNORE THIS SHIT


    So this is a chapter of Shigurui and I was quite confused on some parts. There's a poem partway in that is basically 20 kanji in a row. Also here's a link to the start of the chapter on the online viewer.
    http://mangahelpers.com/downloads/read-online/13884/7

    I'll highlight some things in case you don't want to look through all of it.

    probably good - default black
    Kinda confusing - dark blue
    Very confusing - dark red


    Names/Titles/Places for reference
    Spoiler show


    translations:
    Spoiler show
    Last edited by DrPepperPro; May 15, 2011 at 11:48 AM.

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  6. #230
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
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    Psyren 66 English Translation

    Shao rejected the sudden attack

    Teleportation…

    What a troublesome ability, right Shao?

    Leave the rest to the ‘Great Ms.Frederica’

    I will finish this immediately or Mary will be worried

    Pyro Queen’s Salamander

    Did you really manage to see through my attack?

    Did that intimidate you a bit?

    From 5o’clock direction, I shall slice you down with my Right-arm’s sword

    Did you read my mind? That’s dirty play!

    My snake shall entwine your heart

    Since I was a kid I never wanted to recognize my true nature

    But doing so was unbelievably painful

    Hexagonal Transfer System

    That’s bad!!

    Cosmic Force

    Let all Yin turns into Yang, Let all Yang turn into Ying, Merge and Become 1

    Be gone

    You destroyed it…

    He negated my Hexagonal system…!! This guy has an ‘Anti-Psychic’ ability

    Now I got you!

    Go to hell!

    I am the Crimson Princess, Frederica

    Burn all his brain cells

    The speed of this flame is totally different from the previous one’s

    I won’t make it in time

    My apologies however let us retreat and hide ourselves for now

    That person has many underlings. If he calls them out it will become really dangerous

    Please help me find Mikiga-kun and Oojiro-san first…! They were blasted away somewhere before…!

    How long has it been seen Mikiga-kun disappeared…

    Sorry, they were both teleported to a different dimension. I can’t track them now

    I wish we had come a bit earlier then we could have…

    No…

    I don’t want to see such pathetic sight

    I was so desperate to run-away, I even teleported my self back to the tower

    Was I afraid…?

    Fan

    My legs are fine just please help Kabuto…

    Ageha-san! I’m disappointed with what you said!

    Do I look like I am a good for nothing healer?

    Didn’t you notice Ageha-san? Your bleeding and pain has gone already right?

    Why is that? It is because I am here

    Do not worry! Leave everything to Fan!

    Shall we go now? Grandma is waiting back at “Root”

  7. #231
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
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    Basic etiquettes for translators.

    So, I've been leeching here for quite a while.
    After quitting online gaming, I've realised I do have a bit of spare time...and thought it might be nice to do a bit of translating.
    Keep my English & Japanese sharp, while fulfilling my manga craving.

    So before I start anything, I wanted to know basic etiquettes about this 'industry'. I don't want to upset/offend others, and I'd prefer not to end up saying "...Sorry, didn't have a clue about that".

    I'm completely new to this, even the most basic tips would help greatly.

    Thanks!

  8. #232
    MH Senpai 伝説メンバー / Densetsu / Legendary Member bax's Avatar
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    Re: Basic etiquettes for translators.

    Hello, first of all, it's nice to have more translators around

    Well, first of all, when we talk about being a translator, it means delivering. The first thing that you should keep in mind is the purpose of translating. You have a capability many would like to have, so when you're translating, you should prioritize the accuracy and the quality of your translations (to what level you're capable of).

    If you're unsure about something, it's not shameful to ask others, it's more shameful to make up things in your translations. It's an ever growing improvement, so don't be afraid of making mistakes. Others did too, even the best of us. There are many of experienced translators around for you to get some pointers from.

    We are even on the plan to improve the quality of translations:
    http://mangahelpers.com/news/details/159
    http://mangahelpers.com/news/details/161
    http://mangahelpers.com/news/details/163

    As for what to translate, you're free to translate anything you like on MH except hentai and the likes (you can do that elsewhere ). No rules on what you need or must translate. But of course, I would advice you take on manga that no others are translating or you can help existing groups (HQ scanlation group most preferably) on their projects. That will help a lot

    It's simple enough I think.


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  10. #233
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
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    Re: Basic etiquettes for translators.

    Thanks bax for the quick neat reply.
    Reading those quality topics was what gave me the last push in this direction.


    Further input from anyone is welcome!

  11. #234
    Translator 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member Dark-san's Avatar
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    Re: Basic etiquettes for translators.

    Sorta weird if you refer the scanlation community as an 'industry'. I would say most groups will welcome you to no end. The problem being out there is the inappropriate proportions on the ratio between the scanlators, groups and leechers. We have many groups on one point, little staffs to begin with and handles those projects take up and maybe thousands of overwhelming leechers.

    So there isn't really any etiquettes that you should take note of. Just keep to the group's demand of being able to produce your scripts on a weekly basis. Get in touch often in IRC and be nice to the leechers, whether if they're an ungrateful lot or not.

    As for groups to start off with, you can try searching for the ones listed in this forums. A piece of advice would be to start off with one project and not taking up multiple ones. Pace yourself and make sure that you don't burn out yourself. ^.^

  12. #235
    Translator 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner mel418's Avatar
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    First manga translation, want reviews!

    My apologies if this is a bit long, but I would like some feedback on the job I did. Since this is the first manga, I would like to know where I can improve for future translations (as well as this one). The raw is at http://mangahelpers.com/downloads/read-online/23945/1 . And here is my version of it.
    Kandachime
    Vol.1 Chap.1
    Page#

    Takuma。。。に。。。ちゃ-。。。
    Takuma …ni…cha…

    Takuma にいちゃ――ん。。。
    Takuma nii-chaaan…

    Takuma にいちゃ-ん!!
    Takuma Nii-chan!

    其の一:刀が欲しいか?
    Chapter 1: You want a katana?

    Takumaほら見てっ
    Takuma Hey! Look!

    Takuma こ-んあでっかいノコ!!獲ったよ!!
    Takuma I caught this huge one!!

    Takuma にいちゃ
    Takuma nii-cha…

    Takuma あれ?
    Takuma Huh?

    Takumaおねえさん。。。誰?
    Takuma Who…are you?

    Girl 。。。私には
    Girl …There

    Girl 答えるべき名前がない
    Girl is nothing to call me by.

    Takuma え?
    Takuma Huh?

    Takuma てっ
    Takuma OW!

    Takuma か- かんだあっ
    Takuma It- It bit me!

    Girl 噛んではいない。はさんだ
    Girl It didn’t bite you. It pinched you.

    Takuma どっちでもいいよそんあの!!
    Takuma I don’t care about that!

    Takuma あ――っノコ!!逃げちゃうっ
    Takuma Aaaah! Its running away!

    Takuma おねえさんつかまえて!!
    Takuma Lady! Catch it!

    Takuma早くっ
    Takuma Hurry!

    Takuma あ――っ 何してんだよう!?
    Takuma Aaaah! What are you doing?

    Takuma 逃げちゃうってば。。。
    Takuma I said its running away!

    Takuma わあっ!?
    Takuma Wha?

    Takuma u-
    Takuma u-

    Takuma うわあああん
    Takuma UWAAAAH!

    Takuma 痛いよおぉ
    Takuma It hurts !

    Takuma お父さん
    Takuma Daddy!

    Takuma うわあああん
    Takuma UWAAAH!

    Girl わたしは
    Girl I

    Girl 斬らぬ術を知らない。。。
    Girl know nothing but cutting…

    Daddy 琢磨どうした!?
    Daddy Takuma! What happened?!

    Daddy !!その手は。。。!?
    Daddy !! That hand!!

    10Takumaそこの。。。おねえちゃんが。。。
    Takuma That girl… over there…

    Takuma 切ったんだ。。。
    Takuma She cut me…

    Daddy ―!!
    Daddy !!

    Stranger 申し訳ありません図師さん―
    Stranger My sincerest apologies, Zushi-san

    Stranger 戻れ
    Stranger Return.

    Girl はい
    Girl Yes.

    11Takuma おねえさんが。。。刀に!?
    Takuma That girl… Turning into a katana?!

    Stranger このような太刀。。。
    Stranger This kind of sword…

    Stranger 打つべきではなかった。。。
    Stranger shouldn’t have hit that boy…

    12Box 十年後
    Box 10 years later

    Takuma ううう―ん
    Takuma hmmm…

    Takuma 。。。いたいよう。。。
    Takuma … It hurts…

    Takuma ん?
    Takuma Hm?

    Takuma うわあっ!?
    Takuma Wha!

    Takuma 。。。
    Takuma

    Takuma なだ悠里か
    Takuma What do you want, Yuri?

    13Yuri まあた居眠りしてる~~~
    Yuri You’re still sleeping?

    Yuri 授業はとっくに終わったよ?
    Yuri Classes ended ages ago!

    Yuri どこが痛いの?
    Yuri Where does it hurt?

    Takuma 別にどこもいたくね-よ
    Takuma Didnt hurt anywhere.

    Takuma あ-寝起きにお前の顔なんか見たんでそれがちょっと。。。
    Takuma Until I woke up to see your face.

    Yuri 何よう~その言い方
    Yuri Youre so mean, saying it like that.

    Yuri せっかく心配してあげてるのに!
    Yuri I was just worried about you!

    Takuma 別にい-よ心配してくれなくて!で何のようだよ?
    Takuma I don’t need you to worry over me! And? What did you want?

    Yuri あっそうそう
    Yuri Ah! That’s right.

    Yuri 部活の時間だよ!
    Yuri Its time for clubs!

    Yuri 迎えに来たんだよう~
    Yuri So I came to get you.

    Takuma は-お前も毎日ご苦労だな。。。
    Takuma Well, I guess I should thank, doing that everyday…

    Yuri えっそんなことな。。。
    Yuri Wha? No, that’s…

    Takuma 俺みたいなのに親戚だったがっかりに!でもな-もうほっとけばいいと思うよ?
    Takuma Youre so clingny we might as well be relatives! Didn’t cross your mind yet to just leave me?

    14Yuri またあ~。。。本当に幽霊部員になっちゃうよ?
    Yuri Youre skipping clubs again, aren’t you? Youre becoming a ghost member you know.

    Yuri せっかく段持ってるのに
    Yuri Slowly but surely...

    Takuma 新入生は全員何かの部活に入れって言うから入部届け出しただけだろ
    Takuma They told all the new students to join a club, so that’s why I joined.

    Yuri 寮に帰ったってすることないんでしょ――!?
    Yuri Don’t tell me youre going back!

    Takuma うっせ-な-いろいろあるんだよ!!
    Takuma Shut up! I have a lot of things to do!

    Takuma じゃな!!
    Takuma Bye!

    Yuri ちょっとたっくん!!
    Yuri Wait! Takkun!

    Takuma その呼び方はよせっつの!!
    Takuma Stop calling me that!

    Yuri だってたっくん
    Yuri But- Takkun!

    Yuri ちょとも楽しそうじゃないんだもん
    Yuri He doesn’t look happy at all.

    15Takumaん?
    Takuma Hm?

    Takuma あれは-
    Takuma That’s-

    Takuma
    中等部の女子?
    Takuma A middle class girl?

    Takuma なんで裏山なんかに入ってくんだ?
    Takuma Why is she going towards the mountain?

    Takuma それにあれは鞘袋-?
    Takuma Plus, isn’t that a sheath bag?

    Takuma まさかな。。。
    Takuma Surely, she wouldn’t…

    16Hagane関口暗鬼軒殿
    Hagane Ankiken Seiguchi-Dono

    Hagane 果たし状は昨日確かに拝見いたしました
    Hagane I have received your challenge yesterday.

    Ankiken ふっ。。。
    Ankiken Fu…

    Ankiken まさき本当にこのような少女だったとはな。。。
    Ankiken So you really were a girl…

    Ankiken 逃げずに来てくれて嬉しいぞ
    Ankiken Im happy you came.

    Ankiken おと輪はがね殿
    Ankiken Hagane Otowa-Dono

    17Ankiken 見よ
    Ankiken Take a look.

    Ankiken 十年ほど前に打たれた現代刀だ
    Ankiken This is a modern sword made about 10 years ago.

    Ankiken 神太刀女の相手としては物足りないだろうが許してもらおう
    Ankiken Its nothing compared to the kandachime, but it will do.

    Ankiken 立ち合いの作法に従って-
    Ankiken Follow the manner of a battle.

    Hagane 神太刀女の姿をお見せします
    Hagane I will show you the true form of the kandachime

    Hagane 一!!
    Hagane One!!

    18One かしこまりました
    One Certainly.

    Takuma 日本刀が。。。女の人に。。。!!
    Takuma The sword… Became a woman!

    Takuma これは。。。あの時と。。。同じ。。。!?
    Takuma Its… the same… as that time!

    One -一でございます
    One I am One.

    19Ankikenなるほどな。。。
    Ankiken I see.

    Ankiken 拵えの傷みは人の姿の見た目に映るのか。。。
    Ankiken Her true form reflects that of the sword…

    Ankiken まあいい
    Ankiken Well, no matter.

    Ankiken 拵えは直せば済むことだからな
    Ankiken I can fix her once I win her.

    Takuma なっ あれは
    Takuma Wha- That’s…

    Takuma
    真剣!?
    Takuma A real sword?!

    Ankiken さあっ!!
    Ankiken Well then!

    Ankiken 立ち合え!!
    Ankiken Begin!

    20Hagane。。。どうしても
    Hagane Must we…

    Hagane 立ち合わなければなりませんか。。。?
    Hagane really fight?

    Ankiken 何?
    Ankiken What?

    Hagane できることならば私は。。。!
    Hagane If its possible, I-

    Ankiken 馬鹿を言え!!
    Ankiken Don’t be stupid!!

    Ankiken 神太刀女はより強き者が持たねばならん
    Ankiken There is no stronger sword than the kandachime!

    Ankiken 故に持ち主は立ち合いを断れん!!
    Ankiken There is no reason for you, that sword’s master, to decline this challenge!!

    21Ankikenそして敗れれば
    Ankiken But, if you lose…

    Ankiken 神太刀女を失う定めだ!!
    Ankiken That sword is mine. It’s the law!!

    Ankiken ―はがね様
    Ankiken Hagane-sama

    One こうなれば致し方もございません
    One If that happens, then there is nothing that can be done.

    Hagane 。。。一。。。でも。。。もし
    Hagane …But… One… What if…

    Hagane 私が負けたら。。。っ
    Hagane If I lose…

    One ご安心くださいな
    One Please, do not worry.

    One わたし あのようなむさ苦しい殿方は好みではありませんの
    One My type of man is not the immoral kind.

    22One 暗鬼軒などという大げさな名前も下品で好きになれませんわ!
    One And certainly one with such an exaggerated, vulgar name as Ankiken !

    Ankiken む むさくるしい!?
    Ankiken I- Immoral?!

    Ankiken 下品だと!?
    Ankiken Vulgar?!

    One はがね様 ならば大丈夫です
    One If its Hagane-sama, then its alright.

    Hagane 。。。うん
    Hagane yeah…

    Hagane 戻って、一
    Hagane Come back, One.

    23haganeお相手
    Hagane I will be…

    Hagane -いたします
    Hagane Your opponent!

    Ankiken 応っ!!
    Ankiken OK!!

    24Ankikenチェストオオお
    Ankiken On guard!!!

    26Ankikenふっふっふっ。。
    Ankiken Fufufufu…

    Ankiken 受け流すとは見事なり!
    Ankiken You parry splendidly!

    Ankiken 太刀筋の正しさもさすがというべきか
    Ankiken You know how to handle a sword.

    Ankiken だがっ!!!
    Ankiken But!

    27Hagane!!?
    Hagane !!?

    Ankiken これでどうだっ!!
    Ankiken Hows this!?!?!

    Hagane きゃっ
    Hagane Kyah!

    28Takuma ダメだ 力が違いすぎる!!
    Takuma Its useless! Theyre on completely different levels!!

    Ankiken 力なき剣では立ち会いには勝てぬ
    Ankiken You cant win if youre weak!

    Ankiken 俺を恨むな
    Ankiken Don’t hate me.

    Takuma どうする!?
    Takuma What now?!

    Takuma どうしたらいい!?
    Takuma What should I do?

    Ankiken 非力な自分を恨め!!
    Ankiken Blame yourself for being too weak!!

    Takuma
    助ける!?
    Takuma Do I help?!

    Takuma でもどうやって!?
    Takuma But how?!

    29Ankiken覚悟!!
    Ankiken Youre finished!!!

    Takuma ま。。。待てえっ!!!
    Takuma Wai- Wait!!

    Ankiken ムッ!?
    Ankiken Mu?

    Ankiken 。。。何やつだ?助太刀か?
    Ankiken Who is he? An ally?

    Ankiken それにしては丸腰だな。。。?
    Ankiken Yet hes unarmed.

    Takuma な 何やってんだ俺!?
    Takuma Wha- What am I doing?!

    Takuma あ。。。
    Takuma ah…

    Takuma どうして出てきちゃったんだよ!?
    Takuma Why the hell did I come out?!?

    30Ankiken去れ!!
    Ankiken Get lost!!

    Ankiken さもなくば斬る!!
    Ankiken Or Ill kill you!!

    Takuma 無理。。。 無理だ!!
    Takuma I cant… I cant do it!!

    Takuma 相手は真剣だぞ!?
    Takuma Hes really serious about this!

    Takuma でも ここで逃げたらあの子が。。。
    Takuma But… If I run away, that girl…

    Takuma せめて
    Takuma If only…

    Takuma せめて 刀があれば!!
    Takuma If only I had a sword!!

    31Voice 刀が欲しいか
    Voice You want a sword?

    Takuma !!?
    Takuma !!?

    Girl 刀が欲しいか?
    Girl Do you want a sword?

    Girl 図師琢磨
    Girl Takuma Zushi

    32Takuma。。。な
    Takuma Why-

    Takuma なんで俺の名を?
    Takuma Why do you know my name?

    Girl 初めて斬った男の名を忘れるはずもない
    Girl I don’t forget the boy I first cut.

    Takuma 。。。あ。。。!!
    Takuma Ah!

    Girl 刀が欲しければ私を抜け
    Girl If you want a sword, take me.

    Takuma え。。。
    Takuma Wha-

    Girl 抜かないのか?
    Girl You wont do it?

    33Girl 承知
    Girl Understood.

    Ankiken 神太刀女。。。!!
    Ankiken Kandachime!!

    Ankiken やはり助太刀か
    Ankiken As I thought, you are her ally!

    Ankiken 名を名乗れ!!
    Ankiken Name yourself!!

    34Takuma図師。。。琢磨!
    Takuma Takuma… Zushi!

    Hagane -あの人が
    Hagane Hes-

    Hagane 様の言われた図師琢磨。。。!
    Hagane The one father talked about!


    To whoever looks this over, thank you for bearing with this long translation.

    My thanks in advance!
    Last edited by mel418; April 23, 2009 at 07:14 PM.

  13. #236
    Banned 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member
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    Re: First manga translation, want reviews!

    Too difficult to read.

    Which looks better, this:

    3 。。。に。。。ちゃ-。。。
    Takuma …ni…cha…
    にいちゃ――ん。。。
    Takuma nii-chaaan…
    にいちゃ-ん!!
    Takuma Nii-chan!
    4 其の一:刀が欲しいか?
    Chapter 1: You want a katana?
    5 ほら見てっ
    Takuma Hey! Look!

    or this?

    03

    。。。に。。。ちゃ-。。。

    Takuma: …ni…cha…

    にいちゃ――ん。。。

    Takuma nii-chaaan…

    にいちゃ-ん!!

    Takuma Nii-chan!

    04

    其の一:刀が欲しいか?

    Chapter 1: You want a katana?

    05

    ほら見てっ

    Takuma Hey! Look!

  14. #237
    Scanlator 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member Name-Undecided's Avatar
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    Re: Basic etiquettes for translators.

    Just act with common sense and you'll be fine. When you join a group:
    1. Agree on how often you can deliver and stick to it. Delaying translations sets the whole group back.
    2. Be open to suggestions and criticism, especially when the editor wants to rewrite something to fit it in the bubble.
    3. Work with a good proofreader/rewriter. Translation is as much about expressing the meaning effectively in English as about understanding what the Japanese says.
    4. Have fun!
    Quote Originally Posted by Dark-san View Post
    Get in touch often in IRC and be nice to the leechers, whether if they're an ungrateful lot or not.
    I strongly disagree with this advice. Nothing demoralizes a translator faster than ungrateful leechers. Stay away from people like that. There's no need to cop an attitude, but you don't need to hang around unpleasant people either, whether online or in real life. If you have time to hang around IRC, spend it bettering yourself.
    Last edited by Name-Undecided; April 23, 2009 at 07:55 AM.

  15. #238
    Translator 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member Dark-san's Avatar
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    Re: Basic etiquettes for translators.

    Just adding a few more to a fellow new translators,

    1) Always do your translations way ahead of schedule and stockpiled on them. This way if the projects get delayed, they don't have any reason to pin the blame on you.

    2) Always reread your translation scripts. I did it with mine. Edit out grammar errors, redo translation phrasing etc. Do whatever it takes to make life better for your proofreader.

    3) There are a lot of translation formats. Pick the one that you are comfortable with. For my case, I copied it off from one of my group's more experienced translator's format and made it my own. Did a few modifications here and there.

    4) Always lend a listening ear to your fellow scanlators. If they tell you something, it is only meant for your own good. I came into this community barely a month ago and I am still picking up the skills every now and then.

    5) Be loyal. Stick to the group that you signed up with. I can met up with lots of incidents where the translators jumped ship, resulting in lot of unhappiness between two groups. If you want to join a new group, talk it out with the leader of the group that you are in.

    6) If you are going to post your translations here for your group in Mangahelpers, ask for permission from the leaders. Although you have the right to do it but some scanlators just don't like their group's script being released into the public due to numerous reasons.

    7) If in doubt asked, even translators made mistakes. I asked around in the irc channel #translators and some Japanese native speakers. It is always good to seek consultation when in doubt.

    Quote Originally Posted by Name-Undecided View Post
    I strongly disagree with this advice. Nothing demoralizes a translator faster than ungrateful leechers. Stay away from people like that. There's no need to cop an attitude, but you don't need to hang around unpleasant people either, whether online or in real life. If you have time to hang around IRC, spend it bettering yourself.
    @Name: Leechers can have their say but I wouldn't care heck less. Because I did it for them and they shouldn't have the right to complain about it. Naturally, I haven't met any like this yet. But even if I met one, I will still welcome them since they keep the channel buzzing with activity and that means more chances for us to recruit!

    That's all. I can think of now. Like you, I am also a translator starting out. So if you have anything unsure, pm me. I will certainly be more than happy to entertain your request.

  16. #239
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
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    Re: Basic etiquettes for translators.

    Thanks guys. I'll keep those things in mind, and start looking for a group I can work with.

    Will be back for advice again in the near future!

  17. #240
    Registered User 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member zerocharisma's Avatar
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    Re: First manga translation, want reviews!

    All I can offer is grammar advice, so here goes. Thanks for translating, by the way.

    z.


    Girl 。。。私には
    Girl …There

    Girl 答えるべき名前がない
    Girl is nothing to call me by.
    (would "Don't call me that" work better?)



    Takuma 逃げちゃうってば。。。
    Takuma I said its running away!

    "I said, it's running away!"
    or
    "I told you, it's running away!"


    Girl 斬らぬ術を知らない。。。
    Girl know nothing but cutting…

    "only know how to cut" ? or "how to {insert synonym for destroy here}
    ?




    Stranger このような太刀。。。
    Stranger This kind of sword…

    Stranger 打つべきではなかった。。。
    Stranger shouldn’t have hit that boy…

    Can you make this clearer?


    Takuma 別にどこもいたくね-よ
    Takuma Didnt hurt anywhere.

    "Nothing hurt", (?)



    Yuri 何よう~その言い方
    Yuri Youre so mean, saying it like that.

    emphasize a "making a stupid joke like that" meaning



    Yuri 部活の時間だよ!
    Yuri Its time for clubs!

    More of a "time for clubs to start", if you mean school clubs rather than weapon clubs.



    Takuma は-お前も毎日ご苦労だな。。。
    Takuma Well, I guess I should thank, doing that everyday…

    "thank you for {telling me?} every day"



    Takuma 俺みたいなのに親戚だったがっかりに!でもな-もうほっとけばいいと思うよ?
    Takuma Youre so clingny we might as well be relatives! Didn’t cross your mind yet to just leave me?

    "You're so clingy"

    You should probably look up rules for using possessives.

    14Yuri またあ~。。。本当に幽霊部員になっちゃうよ?
    Yuri Youre skipping clubs again, aren’t you? Youre becoming a ghost member you know.

    You're



    Takuma 新入生は全員何かの部活に入れって言うから入部届け出しただけだろ
    Takuma They told all the new students to join a club, so that’s why I joined.

    "join a club, so I did." (?)

    Yuri 寮に帰ったってすることないんでしょ――!?
    Yuri Don’t tell me youre going back!

    you're



    Takuma うっせ-な-いろいろあるんだよ!!
    Takuma Shut up! I have a lot of things to do!

    "to do." (?)




    Yuri ちょとも楽しそうじゃないんだもん
    Yuri He doesn’t look happy at all.

    15Takumaん?
    Takuma Hm?

    Takuma あれは-
    Takuma That’s-

    Takuma
    中等部の女子?
    Takuma A middle class girl?


    Middle-class

    The rule here is to separate two adjectives which make one modifier with a hyphen.




    Takuma それにあれは鞘袋-?
    Takuma Plus, isn’t that a sheath bag?

    "and isn't that"



    Hagane 果たし状は昨日確かに拝見いたしました
    Hagane I have received your challenge yesterday.

    "I received"

    Saying "have received" indicates more of an event progression and less of an event.



    Ankiken 逃げずに来てくれて嬉しいぞ
    Ankiken Im happy you came.

    I'm



    Ankiken 十年ほど前に打たれた現代刀だ
    Ankiken This is a modern sword made about 10 years ago.

    "modern sword, made about"

    If you intend to compare it with other swords which were made in a different year, then you can leave out the comma.





    Ankiken 立ち合いの作法に従って-
    Ankiken Follow the manner of a battle.

    Are you trying to indicate that this person should adapt the weapon to the battle style?


    Ankiken 神太刀女を失う定めだ!!
    Ankiken That sword is mine. It’s the law!!

    When someone says "the law," I look for police. I'm not sure what your context is here, so I can't make any definitive comment here.



    One こうなれば致し方もございません
    One If that happens, then there is nothing that can be done.

    "then nothing can be done."


    One My type of man is not the immoral kind.

    "Immoral men are not my type"?

    22One 暗鬼軒などという大げさな名前も下品で好きになれませんわ!
    One And certainly one with such an exaggerated, vulgar name as Ankiken !

    "Certainly not one with"




    Ankiken これでどうだっ!!
    Ankiken Hows this!?!?!

    How's




    28Takuma ダメだ 力が違いすぎる!!
    Takuma Its useless! Theyre on completely different levels!!

    They're

    Ankiken 力なき剣では立ち会いには勝てぬ
    Ankiken You cant win if youre weak!

    can't


    Takuma[/I] 助ける!?
    Takuma Do I help?!

    "Can I help?" or "Should I help?"



    29Ankiken覚悟!!
    Ankiken Youre finished!!!

    You're

    Takuma ま。。。待てえっ!!!
    Takuma Wai- Wait!!

    Ankiken ムッ!?
    Ankiken Mu?

    Ankiken 。。。何やつだ?助太刀か?
    Ankiken Who is he? An ally?

    Ankiken それにしては丸腰だな。。。?
    Ankiken Yet hes unarmed.

    he's

    (Right now I'm wondering if you're actually using an apostrophe, but one my browser can't read. Oh well.)




    Takuma 無理。。。 無理だ!!
    Takuma I cant… I cant do it!!

    can't

    Takuma 相手は真剣だぞ!?
    Takuma Hes really serious about this!

    He's



    Girl 初めて斬った男の名を忘れるはずもない
    Girl I don’t forget the boy I first cut.

    "I wouldn't" or some such thing. "I don't" indicates that each time she cuts a boy the first time, she remembers him. But you can only have one "first cut."



    Hagane -あの人が
    Hagane Hes-

    He's

    Hagane 様の言われた図師琢磨。。。!
    Hagane The one father talked about!


    Hope that helped.

    z.

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