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Thread: Request a Full Translation Check

  1. #301
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Chibi-Chibi's Avatar
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    Re: Translation checker for Fiona's Travels

    I know it's not. If i'd want written word that badly i'd try to translate Genji monogatari to my language, which is actually one of my goals as well, and in fact i tried but i gave up after first sentence, both the old and new version.
    Rally Fiona's Travels are fine for now. My brains struggle right about the right amount while trying to translate the diary

    Thank you very much for the suggestion, i think that is exactly what i'll do ... starting next week since i'd like to work on the text a bit, in case something new pops up in my mind

  2. #302
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Winterk423's Avatar
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    Translation Grammar Question

    I'm not quite sure how to describe this, so bare with me...

    So, in a panel, there are two text boxes that are connected. A smaller box attached to a bigger box. The small box is what you read first, and it gives a location, the larger box, what you read next, gives the setting of the story.

    My question is, the translation would flow better if I didn't put the location first, but would that ruin feel that the mangaka is trying to portray?

    If that didn't make sense at all, please tell me to clarify. Thanks!

  3. #303
    Intl Translator 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Ju-da-su's Avatar
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    Re: Translation Grammar Question

    ...Why can't you just put the picture to the text...just to make life easier...-_-"

  4. #304
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
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    Green Grin My first transcription! Chapter 13 of bungaku shoujo pierrot.

    The link to the transcription of the chapter 13 of bungaku shoujo pierrot.

    Here it is...the link to the chapter 13

    I hope the transcription helps someone translating this manga...

    I know some Japanese but my translation skills are not so good...yet.

    Bye!

  5. #305
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
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    First Translation I'd like to get some to check it.

    This is my first time attempting to translate. It's a shoujo manga called La Corda d'Oro.

    Could someone check my work, correct the parts I'm not sure about, and critique it? I'm still learning Japanese and I'm wondering if I'm good enough to translate yet.

    La Corda d'Oro chapter 62 translation

    Spoiler show
    Last edited by KazeYuki; February 04, 2010 at 10:03 AM.

  6. #306
    Intl Translator 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Ju-da-su's Avatar
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    Re: First Translation I'd like to get some to check it.

    Quote Quote:
    それにしても緊張しすぎるだろう
    Ryotarou - Even so, you're too nervous.
    ったく。。。こっちまできんちょうするだろうが。。。
    Geez...to get nervous at this point/here...
    こっち in this context implies the speaker. So, it's actually like "you're making me nervous as well." or something like that...

    Quote Quote:
    だって。。。
    HIno - But...
    ミスしたら 吉羅理事 怖そうだしなあ
    If I make mistakes, Kira-riji will be scary...
    I think the second sentence needs so fixing with the English...you got the context kind of right already (Kirariji'd be angry (aka. he'll become a really scary guy) at me if I make a mistake), but...sorry, can't really fix the English for you.

    Quote Quote:
    それに
    客席も。。。
    I don't have the raw, so I don't really know which is the appropriate words...plud, you don't really say where's the problem with this one, so...guess "audiences"? "And also, the audience seats are...(in the next like: lots of them are filled...kind of continue, but again, I don't know the context... .__.")"?

    Quote Quote:
    たくさん 入ったね!
    HIhara - There are so many people! (Lot's of people have come!)
    宣伝効果あったかな?
    Is this the impact of publicity/propaganda?
    Impact? .-. ...I think "effective" or "works" (as it, "So our advertisement works out well?") might be a better word to use though, but...up to you. My English isn't good, so usually I don't think I'll comment much on the English. I can only help you in term of accuracy...as much as I could possibly help, which in fact isn't much either... .___."

    Quote Quote:
    Hino - I'm...I'm so glad.
    My mistakes didn't stand out that much...
    ないハズ
    Probably...
    sfx: Haahh(breathe out)
    wah wah wah wah
    clapping
    I got the feeling that the ないハズ continues from the first two sentences. Can't say anything unless you give me what the first two sentences are... .__."

    Quote Quote:
    第2セレクションで弾けなかった曲だよな。。。たしか
    Tsuchiura - (If I remember correctly,) It's the piece he didn't play in the second selection...
    弾けなかった is a "can't-do" form though (aka. "can't play")? .-.

    Quote Quote:
    選曲も月森らしいな
    Tsuchiura - That choice of song is very Tsukimori too. (I think it means that it's like Tsukimori to choose that kind of song)
    すごく難しい曲だもんね
    Hihara - It's a very difficult piece.
    この曲
    That piece is.
    ...Yep, that's what that sentence means...

    Quote Quote:
    やっぱり超絶技巧曲 。。。って感じかな?
    Don't you have/get a feeling/impression/sense he'll play a piece that will show off his excellent technique?
    ...Well, you're on the right track, but...I can't really explain it. Something feels kind of wrong in this sentence. The "feeling" is supposed to describe the music though (like "It got to be some extremely sophiscated music...or something?")...>___<"

    Quote Quote:
    なんだか。。。
    Person - It's kind of/somewhat...
    雰囲気変わった?
    The atmostphere/mood changed?
    There's no raw, so all I can do is just make some crazy assumption...aren't these two sentence supposed to go together? Like ”なんだか。。。雰囲気変わった?" (Isn't the mood...kind of changed?)...but again, since I don't know whether it's the same speaker or not...>_<"

    Page 15

    特に5年生になってからは早かったなあ。。。
    Hihara - Especially, after becoming 3rd years, time has passed so fast...

    Quote Quote:
    そうだよね 今年は学内コンクールもあったし
    Yunoki - That's true. And this year also had the interschool concours.
    Umm...interschool? 学内 means within the school though? .-.

    Quote Quote:
    Yunoki - Ah...
    今年はコンサートもあるし遠慮させてもらったんだ
    This year, I participated in the concert so I'm refraining myself form going.
    火原こそどうするの?
    Hihara, what will you do?
    ..."Participated"? All that's said is that there's also a concert this year though? Doesn't say anything about participating...but well, you know about the manga than I do, so...-_-"

    Quote Quote:
    おれ!?
    Hihara - Me!?
    おれは恥ずかしくって ダンスとか。。。。。
    I'll feel embarassed, and a dance... (I don't know if I've translated this right)
    So, basically he said he is kind of shy, so he couldn't possibly dance...IMO...just to go with the context...You put it into the sentence yourself. >__<"

    Quote Quote:
    だな
    Tsuchiura - Same.
    この後は。。。これから後夜祭あるだけか
    Now next... There's just the after festival dance.
    大きなイベントは
    It's a big event.
    Ummm...."So after this...there's only that after festival dance left right, for the big events"...I don't know how to actually explain it, sorry... .__."

    Quote Quote:
    Hino - Ah!
    そうだった
    That!
    I would suggestion something like "true", rather than "that". Since "That!" makes it sound almost like she actually didn't know this before. -_-"

    Quote Quote:
    似合うと思ってかりてきちゃった
    Kaji - I thought it'll suit you so I borrowed it.
    ちゃんと衣装の子にはろ解もらってきたから
    Because I wanted to get the person, the costume is for, to properly wear it. (I don't know if this is translated correctly. My translation assumes that Kaji still thinks that Hino is the true Juliet so the costume is hers)
    ...Can you check if you transcribe it correctly? >___<"

    Quote Quote:
    Gen Ed school 2nd year, class 2
    ロミオとジュリエット衣装
    Romeo and Juliet
    ...You forgot 衣装... ._."

    Quote Quote:
    だって! せっかく 作ったのにもったいないじゃない
    Kaji - Because! They took so much trouble to make it, we can't not use them.
    "Come on! It takes so much effort into making it, so we shouldn't let it go wasted." Can't explain, sorry...>__<"

    Quote Quote:
    後夜祭へようこそ!
    Commentator - Welcome to the event of the last day of the festival!
    それでは皆様ハートナーの手をとり
    Now everyone, take your partner's hand,
    今宵素敵なひとときを
    This evening/tonight have a wonderful time...
    "Let makes tonight a wonderful night" or "Let's all have a wonderful time tonight" would be how I put the last line, but...can't really explain it...>__<"

    Quote Quote:
    ダ。。。ダンスなんて踊れないだけど
    Hino - I can't dance but
    "but"...should go in front of the sentence here...-_-"

    Quote Quote:
    Kaji - It's alright.
    僕がリードするから
    Because I'll lead
    そのまま力を抜いて
    At this rate, you'll be able... (I'm unsure about this translation)
    力を抜く means "to relax (as in, don't be so tense about it. Don't take it so serious...)", so..."Relax yourself, just like that"

    Quote Quote:
    Hino- I'm, I'm sorry, Kaji-kun!
    おもいっきりふんじやった
    As I thought, I stepped on you. (probably wong)
    おもいっきり means "of full force; with all one's might"...so guess she must've stepped on him really hard then... .-.


    Quote Quote:
    俺は見まわりだよ 程々にして切り上げろよ? 月森
    I've been looking around. You're going to finish/stop when you're satisfied with how you're playing, right? Tsukimori (I don't know if this is correct)
    めんどくせー
    So annoying---
    "Go easy on the ending, alright?" I know that my English sucks, but...程々にして is something like "don't overdo yourself; go easy on it" or something like that. .__."

    Quote Quote:
    昨年は参加したんだけど
    Yunoki - I participated last year but
    不公平だろう?
    It's unfair, you know?
    俺と踊れる子と踊れないこが出来しまうからね
    Because I can dance with people that can dance and even people who can't dance.
    @_@

    俺と踊れる子と踊れないこが出来しまうからね basically means something like...he's saying that if he goes to the dance, there'll end up being the girls who he can dance with and the girls who he couldn't dance with, aka. some kind of dividing up over this guy or something...like saying that he's so popular that the girls might end up fighting over him (just to give you the picture...I'm not that good with explanation after all... .__.")

    Quote Quote:
    足ふんでもしりませんよ?
    Hino - I don't even know how to move my feet! (This translation is probably wrong because I can't understand what the sentence is saying)
    Something like "And don't blame me if I step on your foot"... .-.

    Quote Quote:
    おれの動きにゆっくりとついてくだけだよ
    Yunoki - I only moving slowing with you.
    I think it's her who need to slowly follow the guy's movement... .__."

    Quote Quote:
    苛めたくなるだろう?
    Do you/You want me to bully you?
    The one who is about to bully should be the one who the speaker is talking to (in fact, it's actually "starting to want to tease (the speaker)") So, it's like "Start wanting to tease me now?"

    Don't know if that helps much...a couple of things I will suggest though.

    1) Most importantly...next time, if you want to ask for someone to look over your translation for you and give you some advices on it, be sure that you at least correctly transcribed the dialogues. When I went to ask for another translator for some suggestions on a certain line, they actually told me that this is just a waste of time, trying to fumble through, checking the translation that doesn't even have the script correctly transcribed. To be honest, it is really hard to help you on accuracy when you clearly get the transcription wrong every other line, since just one particle wrong can get the sentence completely to the opposite meaning. The best way is doubtlessly to upload the raw here so it's actually readable online. If you can't do that, at least be sure that you get the Japanese dialogues correctly typed out.

    2) Like I said, I won't comment on the English, since I don't want to risk getting it wrong, but...IMO, your translation sounds a bit...unnatural? Maybe it's just me, but that's what I feel...when looking at some of your sentence...some of them are actually pretty hard to make sense of as well...>_<"

  7. #307
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
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    Re: First Translation I'd like to get some to check it.

    Thank you for taking your time to check my translation. Yeah, you're right, the translation does sound pretty unnatural. Whenever I needed to translate for my tests I wasn't marked on english because what was important was getting the meaning correct and having the key words. I'll try to make it sound natural if I translate again.

    I read the Japanese wrong and mistook 了for ろ. Here's the correct sentence:
    似合うと思ってかりてきちゃった
    ちゃんと衣装の子には了解もらってきたから

    Er...by the way... What does "IMO" mean?

  8. #308
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Winterk423's Avatar
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    Re: Translation Grammar Question

    Sorry, was being a tad bit stupid. XDD

    http://mangahelpers.com/s/es-group-/readonline/70853/5

    It's the left page, black text box.

  9. #309
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member Unproductive's Avatar
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    Re: Translation Grammar Question

    Hmmm, I don't get the problem. Here's what it says, right?

    Hong Kong,
    with the expiration of the 80 year lease to the British Commonwealth in the year 1997, returns to China.
    The Unproductive IRC Hideout
    Churning clumpy clouds,
    Slide out over dimming seas,
    Wave to crashing waves.

  10. #310
    Banned 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
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    Scanlation Attempt

    Hey guys, I'm new here and I just tried scanlating Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu. I appreciate all the criticism So yeah, here it is.

    By when I said the garuda thing, I really mean't it. Its just in case anybody knows. Thanks for viewing it at least!

  11. #311
    Intl Translator 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Ju-da-su's Avatar
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    Re: Scanlation Attempt

    >_>

    Don't know what kind of criticism you really want, since this is the forums for new translator, not scanlator. If you want comment on how you did on a particular page of scanlation, you should go to the scanlator forum, not here. <_<"

    But...I think your typesetting is a bit weird, since it seems a bit off to the side of the bubble. While I know nothing about typesetting, IMO, you should have it come more toward the center of the bubble...otherwise, the cleaning seems alright to me (though I tend to be extremely flexible with how clean the scanlation is myself anyway...you should go ask some experienced scanlator if you want comments on your cleaning... .___.")

  12. #312
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    Re: Scanlation Attempt

    Thanks and sorry, this might as well be removed or so, but the problem was I was looking how to get to this page, and I couldn't find it. So I searched it and found it. Turns out I didn't know there was two sections. Sorry and thanks for telling my everything

  13. #313
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Winterk423's Avatar
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    Re: Translation Grammar Question

    *blink blink* wow, I have no idea why I had so much trouble with it...thanks!

  14. #314
    Registered User 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member Popo's Avatar
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    Hunter x Hunter 296 Translation

    Pg 1
    Hunter x Hunter 296: Memory
    I won't betray my friends! The Octopus' excellent simultaneous attack!!

    Welfin: Guh/GA/A/A/A/Why the hell did you shoot?!
    Welfin: You ASSHOLE!! How DARE YOU!!!/DAMN, THIS HURTS/GODDAMN IT, I'LL KILL YOU!!

    Pg 2
    Welfin: "The Eggman": Missileman!

    Pg 3
    Ikalgo: I'm not dead...?/There's not much damage either...What kind of attack was that?
    Welfin: YOU BEAST. IT HURTS SO MUCH. GODDAMN IT!!!/Haha.../You FUCKING BEAST.

    Welfin: This SHITHEAD...This shit-stinking PEON...Even after using his weakness!!/It's a requirement to haggle; there's no use in defying my Missileman! But he still caught me off guard and attacked!!
    Welfin: It's only a flesh wound!!/Heh heh heh...I'll slowly torture you to death.

    Pg 4
    Ikalgo: He's implanted.../living things inside of my head?!"
    Welfin: Heh heh heh. Those creatures born from my Nen ability are called "Black Centipedes."/Your rebellion cultivates their growth.
    Welfin: You must follow my orders!! If it so happens that you injure me,/Then whilst feeling the most agonizing pain you'll ever have, they'll burst through your body and take your life!!

    Pg 5
    Welfin: Wh
    Welfin: What the hell are you doing?! Were you even listening just now?!/If you paid any attention at all, you'd know that if you did that...!!

    Pg 6
    Ikalgo: If that's your command.../then my life has come to an end...!!
    Ikalgo: Swuuuuu
    Welfin: .../You dumb...STOP!!
    Welfin: No...wait. If he's embracing such an intense pain.../That's the greatest act of defiance!!/Most likely, the moment he shoots, the Black Centipedes will burst through until he dies instantly!!

    Pg 7
    Welfin: Guh/GAAAAAA
    Ikalgo: Don't worry...I won't kill you./If you can't move from here, it's cool with me.
    Ikalgo: My head...still hasn't...
    Welfin: Don't give me that bull, asshole!! I swear, I'll kill you!!/You'll die!! I'll kill you!! AAAAAAAA!!!

    Pg 8
    Welfin: AAAAAAAA
    Ikalgo: Hah.../Hah hah ha ha
    Ikalgo: Why am I/At ease?
    Ikalgo: Even though I intend to forfeit my life/I wonder why I'm at ease when I'm about to pull the trigger...?

    Pg 9
    Ikalgo: Swuuuuu
    Welfin: ~~~~~~~~
    Welfin: STOP!! I got it!! I already understand!!/DON'T MOVE!! I give up!! Please!! DON'T SHOOT!!
    Ikalgo: ...?

    Pg 10
    Black centipedes: Giiiii
    Ikalgo: The pain's fading.../And those creatures are suffering...?!
    Welfin: I've lost...damn it. I can't move anymore.../That's the case. Shit...I thought that'd be the case...
    Ikalgo: Welfin.../is accepting his loss...?
    Welfin: However! By no means am I this fragile...by no means am I afraid!!/Looking back on my life, I'd prefer not to have been shot!
    Ikalgo: ...
    Ikalgo: Hey.
    Welfin: ...What?
    Ikalgo: It doesn't hurt so much anymore, but/These bugs...? Take them out fast for me.
    Welfin: Tch...this annoying little.../.../I'm the one hurting here. He's fine.

    Pg 11
    Welfin (thoughts): I haven't canceled my Missileman just yet./...but that's common sense. When he realizes, it'll be bad...Damn it. How do I convince him?
    Welfin: Wait.../A minute.
    Welfin (thoughts): I'll buy some time.
    Welfin: I'll start...
    Welfin (thoughts): Until I come up with a good idea.
    Welfin: The ritual...
    Ikalgo: ...
    Welfin: ...
    Welfin: ...
    Ikalgo: .../Swuuu
    Welfin: AAHHH! WAIT! Okay, okay!/I lied!! I won't do it anymore!!

    Pg 12
    Ikalgo: Then take these out, quick!
    Welfin: Um./Uh. Well, you see...
    Ikalgo: Alright, fine then!
    Welfin: Aah! Wait!! Please, wait!!
    Welfin: I can't release it!! After I shoot it just once, it's already...So...I couldn't say it!!/It's the truth!! You've gotta believe me!! I can't once they're in!!
    Black Centipedes: Giiii
    Ikalgo: There it is again...they're in pain./Could it be that Welfin's motive is...
    Welfin: It can't be helped. It's an attack that's supposed to kill at any cost...I don't know what happens after./That's because I wasn't thinking about my opponent's condition at all either.

    Pg 13
    Welfin: Since I really thought about my Nen Ability/I made its limitation reflect my personality.
    Ikalgo: .../Welfin.
    Ikalgo (Thoughts): "My personality?"/His real motive...
    Ikalgo: Do you have any memories from when you were human?
    Welfin: ?
    Ikalgo (Thoughts): What did I hear?/There's something.../I want to hear.../He might know someone who resembles him...
    Welfin: Why so suddenly?/.../I don't remember.
    Ikalgo: ...
    Ikalgo: You're lying./Swuuuu
    Welfin: WHOA, WHAT THE? QUIT IT!/WAIT! CALM DOWN!
    Ikalgo: If you don't answer honestly.../I'll shoot.
    Welfin: Tch/~~~~~~~

    Pg 14
    Welfin: When I awoke, the first thing I thought was/..."I still fucking remember."
    Welfin: You beast./"You still fucking remember."
    Welfin: You were supposed to have been killed by those monsters in the N.G.L. and then.../Even though the Queen Ant ate you and you were supposed to have turned into another creature...
    Welfin: But the first thing I had forgotten.../...I immediately remembered.
    Welfin: My dad strangling my neck/And the woman behind him.

    Pg 15
    Welfin: At first, I gradually came to remember/the scene of that flashback.
    Welfin: The one who saved me.../Was my brother, unrelated by blood.
    Welfin: ...I remembered!! It was amazing...He really looked like him.../Like Gyro...
    Ikalgo: .../Gyro...!
    Welfin: Moron. I meant the King.../He was really proud...of our misfortune.
    Welfin: On the days I cried.../He was the only one who laughed and talked with me./He and I were both empty shells...so we were fine not hiding anything from each other./I wonder what he's doing...?

    Pg 16
    Welfin: Just one more time.../I want to see him again...
    Welfin: ...that's right. I just need to find Gyro; then everything will be fine./Whether ant, human, rich, or even in another country, everything's just a drag...
    Welfin: Go. The ants are all gone./Do you have something you still have to do?
    Ikalgo: What doors are left open?
    Welfin: Huh?/Getting inside was the only precious goal of you small fry. There's no one left with the ability to fight./I saw you on the monitor with Blow./I timed getting in here with when you were returning./That's all there is to it.

    Pg 17
    Welfin: I saw that you didn't shoot Blow,/so I thought it'd be easy, but I totally miscalculated.
    Welfin: C'mon, go already...I'm tired...
    Ikalgo: .../One last thing.
    Ikalgo: Have you seen a human woman in the palace?
    Welfin: A woman?/...I really don't know.
    Welfin: There was an intruder caught...One human we put in a cocoon...
    Ikalgo: !!
    Welfin: You should find it if you go up the elevator and walk to the right./Heh/Those guys called it "Number One." Hah hah.
    Welfin: ...ha ha./Heh heh heh HA HA HA
    Ikalgo: ...What's so funny?
    Welfin: I was just thinking/Telling the truth really puts you at ease.

    Pg 18
    Narrator: After merely exchanging several hundred or several thousand blows,/The king was stockpiling minor injuries inside./However,

    Pg 19
    King: Stop bleeding./Then, tell me my real name.
    King: You did well.../For a human, anyway.
    Side:Is this the limit...?!

  15. #315
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
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    Re: First Translation I'd like to get some to check it.

    Ju-da-su pointed a lot so I won't do those.Also, I'm just learning too so I can't help that much. So basically my post are just suggestions.

    Also, the name of the teacher is Kanazawa.

    Quote Quote:
    久しぶりだから。。。その
    (Because) It's been a long time/while since I've done this...
    Since it's been a while....That I've done this

    Quote Quote:
    ミスしたら 吉羅理事 怖そうだしなあ
    If I make mistakes, Kira-riji will be scary...
    If I make mistakes, Kira-riji will give me a scary face.

    but I think it's better to say: If I make mistakes Kira-riji will be angry.

    Quote Quote:
    それに
    客席も。。。
    I think you missed this part

    Quote Quote:
    なんだか
    I feel a little/It's a little
    さみしい
    ...lonely/lonesome...
    Somehow I feel.....lonely

    Quote Quote:
    火原こそどうするの?
    Hihara, what will you do?
    Suggestion: How about you Hihara?

    Quote Quote:
    そういえば。。。
    Yunoki - Come to think of it...
    That reminds me....

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