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Thread: Request a Full Translation Check

  1. #376
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Meiun's Avatar
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    Blush Re: Request a Full Translation Check For Nurarihyon no Mago

    Erm, I hope this is the right place to post this. This is my first time posting a translation and I need a lot of criticism and help with this.
    The sentences I didn't understand are marked in red.
    Sentences that didn't sound right are marked in blue.

    Nurarihyon no mago chapter 163

    Spoiler show

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  3. #377
    Translator/Moderator 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check For Nurarihyon no Mago

    Quote Originally Posted by Meiun View Post
    pg11

    Enchō- I feel that "Keidoro" and "Janken" mixed well.
    〝ケイドロ〟と〝ジャンケン〟がまざった感じかな


    P12
    Enchō- I think I understand...In order to save themselves、they're going to seriously come and kill you.
    わかっていると思いますが…人間は自らが助かるため君を殺そうと本気で来ますよ


    pg13
    Enchō-At that time, you and your Nura Clan, will be burned to a crisp by human hatred.
    あたしらが勝つってことは...その時君と君の奴良組は人間の憎悪で焼き尽くされるってことだよ
    Hope you got your translation checked and proofed by now. I didn't go over your translation, but here are couple of suggestions.

    ~感じかな: It's like ~ (not "I feel that ~ ")/ケイドロ needs a footnote, or simply translate it as "tag (game)"/わかっていると思いますが: As you know (It is not "I think I understand") Also translate "人間": humans / I didn't see the translated txt for あたしらが勝つってことは/

  4. #378
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Hello. Can someone please help me check my translation? It is the first chapter of Tetsugaku Letra. The chapter is pretty long (around 60 pages). I'm still learning Japanese so any criticism will be great.

    The sentences I am unsure of are in red and my comments are in blue. For thoughts I've put "name of person thought".

    Thank you for your help.

    Spoiler show
    Last edited by KazeYuki; January 06, 2012 at 02:30 AM.

  5. #379
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Quote Originally Posted by KazeYuki View Post
    - 赤地にカミナリさんの印が入った靴...
    - Those red shoes with a thunder mark...
    (The shoes have a lightning mark but doesn't kaminari mean thunder?)
    カミナリさん/さま (kaminari-san/sama) would cover a thunder, lightning, and an oger-like creature with 1 or 2 horns wearing a pair of pants made of tiger skin. If you see a lighting mark, just use "lightning" in your translation.

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  7. #380
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Quote Originally Posted by KazeYuki View Post
    Page 18

    皆の粗を探しては、学校の裏サイトへ書き込み続けた。
    Kimitaka thought - I continued to post everyone's flaws I found
    - on a site behind the school's back.
    学校の裏サイト = unofficial website/forum where anonymous can post anything about their school (mostly abuses about other students). Similar with "2ch".

    So, in this sentence, "school's secret forum" or just "internet" would fit better.

  8. #381
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Translating a JP manga from ZH to EN. oh boy!
    parts I'm unsure about are in red.

    Tokyo ESP 18
    Source ZH: http://www.178.com/mh/dongjingesp/14350.shtml
    Spoiler show

  9. #382
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    If someone could check my translation, I'd appreciated it! This is my first time translating and there were gaps and holes that I just couldn't put together. I posted both the raw and my translated page so please feel free to check those out. I have noted a few sentences that got to me.

    Translated Page
    Spoiler show


    Raw Page
    Spoiler show


    Translated Sentences
    Spoiler show


    Thank you very much for you time for proof reading and checking my translation! Any feedback is welcomed and I'm opened arms for any tips! <3

  10. #383
    Translator 上級員 / Jyoukuuin / Sr. Member cmertb's Avatar
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Hard to tl without knowing the story, but something like this:

    Like Veronica's castle // again
    I don't want to lose this
    This place must remain peaceful

    Whatever the contents may be
    In order for me to keep on living as Minami Harusumi

    So that people of this world can live ordinary lives

    So that Kamioka can keep smiling

    I will crush the sprouts of anxiety

  11. #384
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner foxinthestars's Avatar
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Hi, newbie here. I've done a little amateur translation before but not much, and studied Japanese off-and-on for years but am not at all fluent, so I'd really appreciate if someone could check this over for me.

    It's an 8-page story from a Japanese Psychic Force ('90s fighting game) comic anthology, which I'm doing as a Christmas present for some fellow PF fans. There's one SFX that kind of stumped me, but mostly I just want to be responsible and get it checked. My translation does reflect some artistic license for flow and sense in English (I think if you got too literal with this one it would come off as even more weirdly culture-blind than it already does --- Emilio's from Russia, apparently they don't have Christmas there ).

    Raws: http://imgur.com/a/ZWTEM

    Transcription/Translation:
    Spoiler show


    Thanks so much!

    EDIT: Oh, forgot to ask, if you look this over, please let me know whether and how I should credit you. Thanks!
    Last edited by foxinthestars; October 19, 2012 at 01:48 PM.

  12. #385
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member Ana Clara's Avatar
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    秋彦がおまじないと云うのなら、きっとそうなのだりろう。だが、それだけの意味合いなのだと自分に云い間かせても、視線はキスを落とした唇に向いてしまう。

    Translation:
    If Akihiko says it was magic, then it must be true! However, even though Misaki talked himself into believing this, he could not stop his vision from traveling to the lips that had just planted a gentle kiss on his fingers.

    Context:
    Spoiler show

    Spoiler show


    Note: That translation isn't mine.

  13. #386
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    Re: Can you help me translate these passages?

    This thread is for member's own translations. Please feel free to upload your translations and request help from other members. Thanks.

  14. #387
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner phmoura's Avatar
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Hello. I'm new here and would like to request a Full Translation Check For Kunisaki Izumo no Jijou. I've been learning Japanese for almost 2 and half years and this is my first time translating directly from Japanese and I need a lot of criticism and help. This manga already has 151 chapters, but unfortunately only 44 chapters have been translated, so i'd like to try translating. Probably i'll be asking for help for many chapters until i feel confident in the translation. And also i'd like to apologize for any grammatical and spelling error because English it's not my first language, i'm Brazilian.

    Summary: Izumo 15 year old is a guy and is usually mistaken for a girl. He is the 17th generation of the Kunizaki troupe, a famous Kabuki troupe. When he was 7 years old he retired because he only got girls roles, ever since he has been living with his mom. But what happens when Izumo's mom leaves for a trip around the world leaving him with his 16th generation successor of the Kunizaki troupe dad? Will he re-discover the joy of being on stage again? Throw in an over obsessive father, some wacky co-stars, and a maid outfit and you got yourself a laugh-out-loud hilarious manga that you'll instantly enjoy!

    Little info: Onnagata is the actors that play the female parts in the Kabuki world


    The red sentences are the ones were i couldn't quite get the meaning

    and the blues ones are those were it sound weird.
    and green will be any comment
    Spoiler show

  15. #388
    Translator/Moderator 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member
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    Re: My First Translation, Dai Tokyo Binbo Seikatsu Manuaru

    Your translation looks great. I only read it once, so I may be missing areas to correct, but here are some corrections and comments.

    Semantic

    * Sae: どういう趣味だー!!! what kind of hobby do you have!!!

    Meaning of 趣味:taste  (eg. You have bad taste.)

    * ーと、急に言われてもねエ... even if you say so...
    You skipped "急に." (Not that important but ...)

    Nuance, vocab. and phrasing

    * Umeki: if we interfere too much, we'll be hated 干渉しすぎも嫌われっぞ
    No need to change. Alt phrase: mind his business

    * Rui: それでも17代目をダマせるくらい女装には自信あります even so, i trick the 17th leader, so i have confidence in cross-dressing

    Meaning of ダマらせる:do not allow someone to complain (because of a great performance.)
    It's a bit different from tricking. The 17th leader does not need to believe that the person is an actual woman.


    * Text: と,いうわけで... and so...
    No need to change. Alt phrase: Just like this,

    * ただでさえ半住み込みの弟子が多いのに... we already have many living in apprentices...
    住み込み: live-in

    * onnagata: Since you are not using an English term like female impersonators or female roles, make sure to add a footnote to explain what onnagata means. (I assume you do, but just in case...)

    * Izumo: べ...べたべたすんじゃねー do...don't be so clinging
    clinging --> clingy

    Grammar


    Usage of a and an (An before a vowel.):

    * 女形の弟子してください! as a onnagata apprentice!

    * 女形とは何かが分かったら、 オレを弟子にしてくれるんですね!? if i learn what it needs to be a onnagata, what i need to understand about onnagata so you'll make me your apprentice!?
    Last edited by mikkih; June 25, 2013 at 08:23 AM. Reason: strikethrough. ダマせるnotダマらせる

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  17. #389
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner phmoura's Avatar
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    Thanks. already correct almost all what you pointed out.
    but what would sound better in this part

    * Rui: それでも17代目をダマせるくらい女装には自信あります even so, i trick the 17th leader, so i have confidence in cross-dressing

    Meaning of ダマせらる:do not allow someone to complain (because of a great performance.)
    It's a bit different from tricking. The 17th leader does not need to believe that the person is an actual woman.

    How about: "even so, 17th leader believed, so i have confidence in cross-dressing"

    And here " 女形とは何かが分かったら、 オレを弟子にしてくれるんですね!?" which of my translation is the most correct

    if i learn what it needs to be an onnagata, will you make your apprentice, right!?
    what i need to understand about onnagata so you'll make me your apprentice!?


    And how about the others red parts?
    The blue ones could be corrected in the proofread,
    so the red parts, where i didn't quite understand, are the ones worrying me the most

    And about the term onnagata, if i'm not mistaken, it has been used like this by the previous groups. but you're right, i'll include a note

  18. #390
    Translator/Moderator 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    My bad, I put a strikethrough on ダマせる line in my previous post. Somehow I thought the line was ダマらせる.

    それでも17代目をダマせるくらい女装には自信あります The direct translation would be: I have confidence in cross-dressing as much as I can trick the 17th leader. Make it into your colloquial style. For example, " Still, I have confidence in cross-dressing, and I'm sure that I can even trick the 17th leader. "

    ---------- Post added at 09:52 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:35 AM ----------

    Quote Quote:
    " 女形とは何かが分かったら、 オレを弟子にしてくれるんですね!?" which of my translation is the most correct
    if i learn what it needs to be an onnagata, will you make your apprentice, right!?
    what i need to understand about onnagata so you'll make me your apprentice!?
    As a whole sentence, the first is closer, but you need to add "me" between make and your.

    Direct translation would be: If/When I understand what the onnagata is, you will make me your apprentice, right? Feel free to move 女形とは何かが分かったら、part when you translate into English. You could but you don't need to keep the JP structure.

    For example, So, you'll accept me as your apprentice if I get what it takes to be an onganaga. (, right? is fine, too.)

    ---------- Post added at 10:16 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:52 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by phmoura View Post
    And how about the others red parts?
    The blue ones could be corrected in the proofread,
    so the red parts, where i didn't quite understand, are the ones worrying me the most
    Most red parts are fine.

    If you plan to publish your translation, you need a dedicated proofreader, or join a group with editors and proofreaders. For specific translation accuracy questions, please make normal a thread and explain what parts you are having problems with, so you may receive more feedback from other translators as well.

    Edit/Add

    For example, it's hard to tell what part you have a problem with looking at the following line. Do you not understand the meaning, or you just don't know how to put it in English? (Some proofreaders would perhaps tell you to add ", " before "too.")

    Quote Quote:
    いっくんも車で来たらいいのに
    would be better if Ikkun came by car too.


    You could translate いっくん as "you" and add ", Ikkun" at the end.
    ~いいのに: You should just ... ; Why don't you just .....
    Last edited by mikkih; June 25, 2013 at 10:47 AM. Reason: typo

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