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Thread: Request a Full Translation Check

  1. #391
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner phmoura's Avatar
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Thank you for all the help.

    I'm going to use the way you corrected me, is that ok?

    Normally i get most of the sentence, but it's hard to put in English for a non-native. Even if i read a lot, writing in English is not my strong point. Actually in Portuguese too

    Originally this translation was supposed to be for study, but midway i decided to publish, but i didn't want to join any groups because the translation would be extremely slow and i still need a lot of help and sometimes would stop completely because of my lack of time.
    But you're right, if the aim is to publish, join a group is better. The best way for me is if i only provide the translation.
    If i do this, can i still "use" this forum to help me with the translation?
    As i said, i need help until i have more confidence in my translation

    And once again, thanks for all the help

  2. #392
    Translator/Moderator 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    If you would like to register as a translator on MH, visit Translators' Guide to MangaHelpers. You can request to change your title to Translator (or International Translator - who translates other than JP to Eng) after publishing/uploading 5 and more translations.

    > I'm going to use the way you corrected me, is that ok?

    Sure, no problem, but it is always the best to use your own words. (Don't use the direct translation though.) Copy-and-paste is generally not recommended for translators.

    >Normally i get most of the sentence, but it's hard to put in English for a non-native.

    As long as you understand JP txt, any proofreaders can help you. As you probably know, proofreaders do not need to know JP. Tough part is to get the JP meaning right. As I mentioned before, when you have accuracy questions, make a normal thread where members tend to receive better feedback.

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  4. #393
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner phmoura's Avatar
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Once again I'm here. And again with Kunisaki Izumo no Jijou. This time is the chapter 46. This was harder than the previous chapter. Or maybe the last chapter was easy. I'm still a newbie translator so I need a lot of criticism and help. And also I'd like to apologize for any grammatical and spelling error because English it's not my first language.

    Summary: Izumo 15 year old is a guy and is usually mistaken for a girl. He is the 17th generation of the Kunizaki troupe, a famous Kabuki troupe. When he was 7 years old he retired because he only got girls roles, ever since he has been living with his mom. But what happens when Izumo's mom leaves for a trip around the world leaving him with his 16th generation successor of the Kunizaki troupe dad? Will he re-discover the joy of being on stage again? Throw in an over obsessive father, some wacky co-stars, and a maid outfit and you got yourself a laugh-out-loud hilarious manga that you'll instantly enjoy!

    But I'll do something different

    Red will be the sentences that cause me a lot of trouble.
    Blue are the ones where i had trouble to understand the hole meaning
    And green will be any commentary

    Please look all colors with care,
    thanks

    Spoiler show

  5. #394
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner hakozaki's Avatar
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Hi there! I would like to request some help for the Trinity Blood chapter 57.

    In the previous chapters, the Department of Inquisition, led by Petros, and a contingent of soldiers led by Mary have gone to a special district beneath Londinium, called the Ghetto, to annihilate the vampires/Methuselah who live there. In the last scene a soldier (Howard?) was just about to kill a vampire girl, when Petros attacks him.

    So, in this chapter we have (a lot of polite language that I'm not firm with) Petros arguing with Mary about retreating and Mary striking him down; a vampire noble who asks Mary why she wants to destroy them after all those years they have served loyally; some lockdown sequence starting up; Vanessa meeting Butler in a control room he shouldn't have access to and asking him why he wants to help her.

    I didn't see any way to colour things on the translation page, so I'll post the sentences I am still unsure of here:
    Spoiler show
    Last edited by hakozaki; July 25, 2013 at 07:16 PM.

  6. #395
    Translator 上級員 / Jyoukuuin / Sr. Member cmertb's Avatar
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    1) ブラザー・ペテロ あなたを敵前逃亡ならびに通敵容疑で拘束します
    Brother Petros, I will restrain you under the suspicion of desertion in the face of the enemy

    "Restrain" is too literal. He means "arrest". Also you're missing the other charge.
    In short "Brother Petero, you are under arrest on the suspicion of desertion and espionage."

    2) 聖下を保護 したてまつれ
    Protect His Holiness.
    [I have no idea what this したてまつれ is supposed to mean]

    たてまつる is 奉る; 献る 【たてまつる(奉る); まつる】 (v5r,vt) to offer; to present; to revere; to do respectfully
    So your translation is correct.

    3) 女王から疎まれた私を殿下と―――
    When Her Majesty neglected to use this title...
    [Not sure about the meaning]

    I think you're misinterpreting the whole speech following this line. (The first two lines are good.)
    "When you referred to me, who was shunned by the queen, as 'Your Highness'---"
    "To me"
    "It was quite important"

    4) 自分たちがやったことを思い知るがいい!!
    [It's good to realize that we can do it? I have no idea. Before Vanessa started cursing the humans/Terran, there was an announcement that the Ghetto will be locked down, but it wasn't she who iniated it.]

    自分たち here refers to people being addressed. "So you'd better realize what you did!!"

    5) そんな無粋なものを欲しがるのはあなたぐらいのものですよ
    Such an unrefined thing seems like something you would want.
    [Wild guess]

    Your wild guess looks good to me.
    我は怠惰そのものである。

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  8. #396
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Hello, everyone. This is my translation of a 4-page Pokemon fan-manga from Pixiv (italics are my comments or concerns). Since this is my first serious translation outside of schoolwork, constructive feedback (both translation and sentence flow) would be highly appreciated. Thanks!

    Spoiler show
    Last edited by Squeakychu; July 30, 2013 at 07:01 PM.

  9. #397
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Hi everyone, I just finished translating the first volume of Majima-kun Suttobasu. As I'm new translating manga, I have to post them on private, but I would like to have another translators opinion about them, everykind of comment is welcome:

    Last edited by darkdhaos; July 31, 2013 at 09:58 AM.

  10. #398
    Translator 上級員 / Jyoukuuin / Sr. Member cmertb's Avatar
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Squeakychu:

    グレイシア: おつかれブラッキーちゃん!すごいなぁ~、私エーフィ君のサイキネ苦手。
    Glaceon: Good work, Umbreon! It's amazing, Espeon's psychic is weak to you. (This sentence perplexes me, particularly “私エーフィ君.” It looks like three subject matters at once.)
    >It's not "kimi", it's "-kun" in this case. i.e. "I have problems with Espeon-kun's psychic".

    ブラッキー: 相性がいいだけよ。
    Umbreon: But we go so well together.
    >in light of the previous, is he talking about someone's affinity with the skill?

    ブラッキー: あいつもバカよね、効果抜群のシグナルビームとか覚えれるはずなのになんてサイコキネシスに固執するんだろう?
    Umbreon: He's such a fool, isn't he. He could have learned the super effective “Signal Beam” attack, so why does he insist on using Psychic instead?
    > not "He could have learned", but "I'm sure he knows"

    グレイシア: ...もしかして、イーフィくん、ブラッキーちゃん、に勝ちたいんじゃなくて勝負を口実にして毎日話しかけたいだけなんじゃない?
    Glaceon: Perhaps, Espeon doesn't just want to win against you, but also wants to talk to you every day, using victory as an excuse?
    >"victory as an excuse" -> "fighting (or contest) as an excuse"

    Picture Blurb: イメージ映像
    My Translation: Image reflection(?) (Both イメージ and 映像 mean “image,” don't they?)
    >Imagination (i.e. it's all in someone's head)

    グレイシア: ここらじゃ負けなしの彼が実はそんなシャイな一面を特ってたなんてね~。
    Glaceon: The truth about the guy who's unbeaten around here, is that he has a particularly shy side. (This kind of perplexed me too.)
    >To think that someone who hasn't known defeat would have such a shy side to him...

    ブラッキー: ちょ、ちょっとそんな事
    Umbreon: Th-that's such a small thing.
    >"chotto" as in wait or hold on. "W- Wait, something like that..."

    エーフィ:  回復早っ!
    Espeon: I recovered quickly!
    >are you identifying the speaker correctly? You'd expect this to mean "You recovered quickly!" in surprise, normally.

    Dialog Box:  ダメージじゃない別の何かがうまれてきたようです。
    My Translation: Though no damage, something different seemed to be born.(?)
    >It seems something other than damage was born.
    我は怠惰そのものである。

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  12. #399
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Awesome! That was very helpful to me. Thanks a million!

    >are you identifying the speaker correctly? You'd expect this to mean "You recovered quickly!" in surprise, normally.

    You're right, I incorrectly identified the speaker (It was supposed to be Umbreon). The speech bubble didn't make it terribly clear who the speaker was, and I assumed it was Espeon. The previous bubble was clearly pointing to Espeon though, which was likely done to keep the speech order correct. Thanks for pointing that out as well.

  13. #400
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner trunkschan90's Avatar
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    I want to request a translation check on various sentences to see if everything is translated correctly. Everything is from the manga 009 Re: Cyborg
    Spoiler show

  14. #401
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member Aarowaim's Avatar
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Quote Originally Posted by trunkschan90 View Post
    I want to request a translation check on various sentences to see if everything is translated correctly. Everything is from the manga 009 Re: Cyborg
    Spoiler show
    I threw my corrections up there in maroon for you trunks-chan ^_^
    Last edited by Aarowaim; August 29, 2013 at 02:40 AM.
    There is a fine line between bad and good, and an even finer line between good and great.
    Even the most impossible dreams can become possible with time.

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  16. #402
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner trunkschan90's Avatar
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    I need a full translation check on Cyborg 009: Bottom of the Sea arc (it's 7 chapters long)

    Chapter 1
    Spoiler show


    Chapter 2
    Spoiler show


    Chapter 3
    Spoiler show


    Chapter 4 (had lots of trouble with this one)
    Spoiler show


    Chapter 5
    Spoiler show


    Chapter 6
    Spoiler show


    Chapter 7
    Spoiler show

  17. #403
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    I would like to request a translation check on a translation I did for a JJBA doujinshi.
    My first language isn't English and my Japanese is still very basic, so I know there's much room for improvement. At the moment I feel as if this translation is still too literal and stiff-sounding. I have only included the pages where I'm very unsure about certain phrases.


    (Jotaro's thoughts)

    俺は逃げる術を持ったない
    I can’t escape.
    ただただ無様に
    目を逸らす事すら
    I can’t even look away. What a disgrace.


    (Jotaro's thoughts)

    彼の古傷は俺に言う
    These old scars remind me:
    “たかが十年
    されど十年
    お前は何を知っているというのかと“
    “It’s been 10 years,
    but still, that’s a long time.
    What do you know?”

    あの子供は
    酷く真っ直ぐに
    俺を見る
    This kid is desperately looking straight at me.

    Is it better to leave 酷く untranslated here?


    つまんな
    How boring.
    なあ、承太郎
    Right, Jotaro?
    てめえ、何を言ってやがる
    What the hell are you talking about?
    とぼけるなよ承太郎
    You really are slow, Jotaro.
    あの小僧の前ではやけに大人しいじゃないか
    You were awfully docile in front of that brat, weren’t you?

    大人しい is docile, right? Is there a better word? Obedient? But he was just being friendly/polite, not acting like a servant...

    かっての獣のような
    お前を見たら
    あの小僧はどう思うのか
    If he could see how much you once were like a beast,
    I wonder how that would make him feel?


    10年経ったくらいで大人しくなれてはつまらん
    Ten years have passed and you’ve become docile...how boring.
    お前は、100年経ったてもやがましいな
    A hundred years have passed, and you’re still a noisy bastard.
    は、
    おまえは今も昔も少しも変わらないぞ
    Ha, you haven’t changed in the least.
    承太郎
    私を殺したあの時と
    何一つ

    Jotaro,
    you said you’d kill me that day,
    and yet, nothing-


    I don't understand 何一つ in the single speech bubble...I think 私を殺したあの時と is referring to what he has said in the past because of a prequel doujinshi where he said it, but I'm not sure.

    11
    随分な顔をされていますね
    That’s quite an awful face you’re making

    14
    (Jotaro’s thoughts)

    どうしようもなく腹が立つ
    I can’t help feeling angry
    „興味はあるんだ
    あんたの人生に“

    „I’m interested in your private life.“
    それができるあいつと
    知ることをおそれる自分に
    He said this guy can read a person’s mind (note:context-related)
    I’m afraid of what he would find out.

    24
    仗助は酷くまっすぐに俺を見る
    Josuke is desperately looking straight at me.
    それがなぜだか
    Then why is it that I
    とても後ろめたいくて
    めを逸らす
    look away feeling so very guilty?

    25
    かつては自分も
    こんあ目をしていたのだろうか
    There was a time when I, too, had that look on my face, wasn’t there?
    こんあ目であいつを見ていたのだろうか
    Didn’t I look at him just like that?
    ああ、それは大層
    吐き気がする
    Ah, this really makes me sick to my stomach.

    28
    (Jotaro's thoughts)

    馬鹿言え
    見てねえのは
    てめえの方だろう
    How stupid
    Having me look at you
    was your way, wasn’t it?

    馬鹿言え in this context...I'm not sure if "How stupid" is appropriate?
    Does 方 in this context refer to the way somebody does things?


    50
    痛みを伴うと知りながら
    それを忘れることはなく

    目を逸らすことすら
    できぬまま

    Knowing the pain that comes with this,
    I can’t forget,
    I still can’t even look away.

    Not sure I translated this correctly because the whole sentence is confusing me.


    So yeah, lots of mistakes probably. I would be very grateful if you could point them out to me or make some suggestions to improve the translation I hope I did everything right because I haven't posted here very often.
    THANK YOU!

  18. #404
    Translator/Moderator 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    @rockbell
    1. 術を持ったない= don't know how to

    7. 醜く should be translated. awkwardly, rather than desparately

    8. とぼける is not being slow. とぼけるな=いい加減なことをいうな
    Don't fool me. Don't be kidding.

    大人しい also includes being quite and behaving. Being calm would be fine, too.


    9. 私を殺したあの時と何一つ= 私を殺したあの時と(おまえは)何一つ変わっていない。
    何一つ=全く

    14.
    A single sentence.
    それができるあいつと、知ることをおそれる自分に、どうしようもなく腹が立つ。
    24.
    それが,なぜだかとても後ろめたいくて,めを逸らす
    なぜだか=somehow; I don't know why, but ...

    25.
    かつては自分もこんあ目をしていたのだろうか
    だろうか=I wonder if ...

    馬鹿言え: Give me a break. Don't be ridiculous
    見てねえのは、 てめえの方だろう =This can be translated in 2 ways depends on the context.
    てめえ can be you or me. Chose what fits the best.
    =見ていないのは、おまえだ(*) : It's you, who's not looking.
    =見ていないのは、自分(オレ)だ(*): It's me, who's not looking.

    50.
    それを忘れることはなく rather than "I can't (forget)," you may want to use "without (forgetting)" or "keeping that in mind."
    Last edited by mikkih; February 06, 2014 at 03:32 PM. Reason: added a comma: It's you, who's not looking.

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  20. #405
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    Re: Request a Full Translation Check

    Thanks! I will change the parts which were incorrect.
    I've only been studying Japanese for about a year so some phrases are still very foreign to me. I also often have trouble with "Guyspeak"
    Anyways, thanks once again for your help

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