[463 Review] Time Tells No Lies - The Short Career of Kutsuzawa Giriko (feat. special guest appearance)

[Aikidoka]

[FADE IN TO STUDIO WITH A MAN SITTING AT A COFFEE TABLE, WITH TWO MORE EMPTY CHAIRS]

AIKIDOKA: Welcome once again to Manga Monthly. I'm your host, Aikidoka. Today our guest is Kutsuzawa Giriko, a bit supporting character whose career was abruptly ended this chapter. Giriko?

[Kutsuzawa Giriko enters with a pot of tea]

GIRIKO: I noticed we had no drinks, so I took the liberty of making some.

AIKIDOKA: Oh no, you really didn't have to do that.

GIRIKO: I insist. I'll pour a cup for our other guest as well. Has he been tied up with other commitments?

AIKIDOKA: No, I actually doubt he'll show. You're more punctual than most guests I've had, actually.

GIRIKO: Punctual is what I do. My abilities revolve around time, after all.

AIKIDOKA: Speaking of which (good segway by the way, it's almost as if we planned that), what can you tell us about your abilities? Do you think they had a role in your rather bloody fate?

GIRIKO: Well, my ability as readers know is setting rules and restrictions that expire after a certain time limit. It's very versatile, but unfortunately very overpowered, which was of course why I had to go.

AIKIDOKA: Of course. I suspect your sudden change in personality had a lot to do with it.

GIRIKO: Quite right. If I -- or anyone, really -- had fought with such gamebreaking powers and used them correctly, very few people would stand a chance. Not that Kenpachi wouldn't eventually win, anyway, but for the sake of Kubo-sama's intents -- a curbstomp by Kenpachi -- my personality and intelligence had to suffer, posing much less of a threat. I believe in the Bleachverse it's called being "Zommari'd".

ZOMMARI
Zo·Ma·Ree
Verb
- To waste a gamebreaking (or "hax") power by obtaining a stupid personality prone to long-winded speeches and incredible arrogance, giving his/her opponent ample opportunity to defeat him

AIKIDOKA: Right. Are you irritated by suffering such a "rude" death?

GIRIKO: No, not at all. I suspect that us Fullbringers were set up only as stepping stones anyway, to allow the Shinigami to showcase their growth over the two years. With the added bonus of explaining Orihime's and Chad's powers, as well as the Substitute Badge. Other than possibly Riruka, we'll all end up goners.

AIKIDOKA: I'm actually rooting for Shishigawara too. Poor guy got betrayed by his team and he doesn't even know it. But Riruka certainly has the best chance of surviving this arc. It's a shame that you were the first to go though -- I actually liked your design the best out of the Fullbringers.



GIRIKO: Thank you very much.

AIKIDOKA: Before it was revealed that you all were villains, I imagined you as a Bleach version of Alfred from Batman -- a badass butler-type. But we're going off-topic. Let's move on to our next topic -- discussion of this week's chapter. Giriko, what are your thoughts?

GIRIKO: Nice transitional chapter, and surprisingly fast-paced, coming from Kubo. We had our match-ups established, and the first battle already concluded.

AIKIDOKA: Yeah, it was a quick chapter in terms of moving the plot along. I suspect the other battles will be just as short -- the focus is on Ichigo and Ginjo after all, and I'd rather not wait too long to find out his true story. But you mentioned the match-ups -- let's talk about that.

GIRIKO: All expected. The only thing I anticipated differently is that I would be matched up with Byakuya, and Tsukishima with Kenpachi. Trade opponents, indeed.



AIKIDOKA: I had the same thought. Actually, some people in previous chapter discussions have imagined how funny it would be if Tsukishima fought Kenpachi. Tsukishima might slash Kenpachi and insert himself as a friend, but Kenpachi would attack him anyway since he fights everyone regardless.

GIRIKO: That would have been comedic indeed. But I suspect a battle between myself and Byakuya would be redundant.

AIKIDOKA: True -- he fought Zommari, after all. Two hax opponents would be repeating himself. But the other matchups are perfect. Shishigawara vs. Ikkaku - a man who manipulates luck against a man who uses "lucky" as part of his catchphrase, and whose two major fights featured it as minor themes.



AIKIDOKA: And then there's Renji vs. Jackie -- both have fought Ichigo, and both have had Ichigo's technique of timing his moves in between attacks used against them.

(Exhibit R | Exhibit J)

AIKIDOKA: Finally, Hitsugaya vs. Yukio and Rukia vs. Riruka are fairly obvious by comparison -- the former are the youngest in their groups, and the latter are both love interests to Ichigo.



GIRIKO: Right. They're all very fitting -- almost as if Kubo planned this from the start.

AIKIDOKA: He probably did. He's a lot better mangaka than a lot of people give him credit for.

[SOUNDS OF CRASHING]

AIKIDOKA: That's probably our other guest right now.

[AS IF ON CUE, THE DOOR TO THE STUDIO IS BLASTED OPEN.]

AIKIDOKA: Afternoon, Kenpachi.

KENPACHI: So where's the fight I was promised?

AIKIDOKA: Uhh...no, an interview doesn't usually involve any fighting...

KENPACHI: What? So you lied to me?...Boring...*kicks over his chair* I'm gonna peace. See you later.

AIKIDOKA: No, wait! Don't you have any words to say about the chapter?

KENPACHI: *blank stare for a moment* If you get in touch with Kubo, tell him to give me a fun fight next time. *picks up his chair to kick it over again*

GIRIKO: *leaning over to Aikidoka* Strange man, that one. He's really devoted to playing his part...he does know we're not filming scenes anymore, right?

AIKIDOKA: Oh, him? No, Kenpachi's always this way. He just plays himself. He's like the Chuck Norris of Bleach.

KENPACHI: Who's Chuck Norris? Is he a badass? Is he the opponent you promised me? Where does he live? I'mma go find him. *exits*

AIKIDOKA: Uh-oh.

[SCENE]

This should happen.

(I hope you enjoyed this. I wanted to review the latest chapter but thought you all might be bored of the usual review, so I spiced it up with a screenplay-type dialogue.)

[The Newbie.]

You should have focused on the moment when Kenpachi tries to switch oponents with Byakuya. That one part where Byakuya's look is basically telling Kenpachi to stay away was priceless.

Giriko's abilities were never really explained on detail, he became stronger just like that Pork-san did because it took the least amount of rules, supposedly.

[juUnior]

Nice and funny stuff, Aikidoka xD And very deep about some details at the same time if you ask me ^^

About Giriko itself: I still hope its not the end - if Fullbringers are here to show the growth of those SS guy/gal/s, then Kenpachi's fight isn't over yet <ok, ok, I'm not implying that Zaraki has to have bankai, no, just 'a longer fight' >. Maybe Giriko incorporated some stuff like "if I'm sliced I will regenrate or be back to normal or sth" and will still fight. Because, heck, for me his fullbring powers were just the most hax'ed from all the group, and I even on pl board made them compare to Barragan powers - really, really hax abilities to kill your opponents. Now.. IF it will really end like this, I will be definitely dissapointed. BUT I still believe in Kubo and that its not the end of Kenpachi vs Giriko. <hopefully..> xD