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Thread: Legend Of The Black Lions

  1. #46
    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Fayte's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    Quote Quote:
    Anyways, Im reading this and I dont even like fan-fics. In other words dont waste time on ppl dissing it until youve done. Not worth effort dealing with full criticisms on an unfinished series.
    Yeah, I figured this would be nice for people to read while they wait for the new chapters. It was also good for me to get all my ideas written down so I don't have to think about them anymore. Especially the final boss match in which I wrote (and will continue to refine) before I wrote any of these chapters. I hope all of you read it to the end because that match is BANANAS. I get my inspiration from music, believe it or not. When I hear music, I can imagine a scenario (Which is the opposite method of movie soundtracks). If you guys are curious, listen to "Vanishings" and "XOXOXO" by Secret and Whisper. Those two songs are the inspiration for the final boss scenes.

  2. #47
    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    Just want to say thank you fayte for doing this. 1 month is bad enough to wait for chapters, but now we have had to wait two months until the next one! Keep up the good work.

    Btw, how many chapters do you plan to release? And the estimated time till you think you will finish your black lions series?? If you want to keep that a mystery, it is ok too.

  3. #48
    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Fayte's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    Introducing a new Lion!
    Hayashi Hakai


    Spoiler: Chapter 5: "The True Devil" show


    ---------- Post added at 05:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:35 AM ----------

    I expect to see comments from you people! I see page views going up, but no comments.
    Last edited by Fayte; May 08, 2012 at 11:45 PM.

  4. Like 1 Member(s) likes this post
  5. #49
    Intl Translator 有名人 / Yuumeijin / Celebrity Airgrimes's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsukihime no uta View Post
    Just want to say thank you fayte for doing this. 1 month is bad enough to wait for chapters, but now we have had to wait two months until the next one! Keep up the good work.

    Btw, how many chapters do you plan to release? And the estimated time till you think you will finish your black lions series?? If you want to keep that a mystery, it is ok too.
    keep it a mystery. Konomi is keeping it a mystery on his releases lol. So this should be the same.

  6. #50
    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Fayte's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    To answer that question, I have no idea when this will end. It will end when the story ends lol.

    Question for you all to discuss:

    What do you think the agenda of the Black Lions is?
    What are they doing in Germany?
    What is their mission?
    What happened to Tezuka?
    What's with Aisoku's red eyes?
    What is Ryoga up to?
    What will happen to Kirihara?

  7. #51
    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Brandnewkid's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    That backstory for Kirihara is so OOC.

  8. #52
    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member LetalHawk's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    Their mission is to eliminate all the countries of the world? Their objective is to rule the tennis world by defeating the top players of every nation, but since this is a fanfic manga, Japan will prevent them from doing so.

    I think Tezuka can win this, even if he's facing another door, but if he loses against Tetsuma, he has no hope of defeating Aisoku since he has "pinnacle of glorification", a hax move lol.

    Don't know, but Kintarou's in trouble. Even if he can keep playing, Kirihara could dislocate his entire body and game over.

    The story of Kirihara was cool, very creative. That just makes me more excited to watch the new chapter, I want to see how Echizen, Fuji and Yukimura are doing.

  9. #53
    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Fayte's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    Quote Quote:
    That backstory for Kirihara is so OOC.
    If you're going to use critiques, give reasons for saying them. I don't see how that is out of character in any way, considering it was years before the character was even introduced into the story. So you think it impossible for Kirihara to have gotten more and more confident as his skills progressed over the years? Do you think that just because Kirihara is arrogant now, he was always that way? Give your reasonings as to why this is impossible.

  10. #54
    Intl Translator 有名人 / Yuumeijin / Celebrity Airgrimes's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    Dafuq is Ryoga allying with? And also, is Yukimura gonna get fodderized??

  11. #55
    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Brandnewkid's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    Quote Originally Posted by Fayte View Post
    If you're going to use critiques, give reasons for saying them.
    For Kirihara to learn his 'super-attack' gameplay from some stranger is OOC because Kirihara's character is just that of a hot-headed kid. He obviously didn't have someone 'teach' him how to be aggressive; it's his natural instinct. Just like a baby instinctively cries when he feels pain, Kirihara gets even more angry when things don't go his way. His Bloodshot Eyes? That's just him being mad. Devil Mode? Fucking furious. He's kinda like PoT's version of The Hulk. You can't teach someone to be angry.

    Quote Quote:
    I don't see how that is out of character in any way, considering it was years before the character was even introduced into the story.
    But, just because you added in some info before the character was officially introduced doesn't make it fit for that character. That's something Konomi would never do.

    Quote Quote:
    So you think it impossible for Kirihara to have gotten more and more confident as his skills progressed over the years? Do you think that just because Kirihara is arrogant now, he was always that way? Give your reasonings as to why this is impossible.
    Well, if anything, the Rikkai OVA shows that Kirihara was always a hot-head. Rikkai just made his ferocity into a treasured weapon by the Nationals.

    I'm sorry, but I, personally, would never buy that, that Kirihara was trained by someone to attain his way of tennis when it's just him being as pissed off at the other guy as much as he can. Kite, or one of the Higa players, maybe, but not Kirihara.

  12. #56
    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Fayte's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    Quote Quote:
    For Kirihara to learn his 'super-attack' gameplay from some stranger is OOC because Kirihara's character is just that of a hot-headed kid. He obviously didn't have someone 'teach' him how to be aggressive; it's his natural instinct. Just like a baby instinctively cries when he feels pain, Kirihara gets even more angry when things don't go his way. His Bloodshot Eyes? That's just him being mad. Devil Mode? Fucking furious. He's kinda like PoT's version of The Hulk. You can't teach someone to be angry.
    What are you talking about? Nobody said Kirihara was taught how to be angry. Kirihara was taught how to channel his anger in tennis, which is absolutely what Konomi ALREADY established. The only difference is, Kirihara taught himself in Konomi's story. In my story, he learned it by observing another. I never said you can teach someone how to be angry, but you can CERTAINLY provoke someone to anger, and teach them how to utilize it.

    Quote Quote:
    But, just because you added in some info before the character was officially introduced doesn't make it fit for that character. That's something Konomi would never do.
    What are you talking about? I've made it clear already in the chapters that my writing style is different from Konomi's. And like I said, I don't think your argument is good enough to say it doesn't fit the character. You act as if Kirihara is ALWAYS hotheaded. Did you forget who was the one cheering the loudest during Atobe's match with Irie? Kirihara isn't just angry all the time, which fits fine with the way I depicted a young version of him.

    Quote Quote:
    Well, if anything, the Rikkai OVA shows that Kirihara was always a hot-head. Rikkai just made his ferocity into a treasured weapon by the Nationals.

    I'm sorry, but I, personally, would never buy that, that Kirihara was trained by someone to attain his way of tennis when it's just him being as pissed off at the other guy as much as he can. Kite, or one of the Higa players, maybe, but not Kirihara.
    Firstly, my flashback takes place a year BEFORE Kirihara entered Rikkaidai. That in no way suggests Kirihara was always hot-headed. If someone punches you in the face enough times, you're going to get angry, no matter who you are. Kirihara was (in my story) purposely provoked in his training to make his already established inner anger, surface. If you're still not convinced, that's fine.

  13. #57
    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Brandnewkid's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    Quote Originally Posted by Fayte View Post
    What are you talking about? Nobody said Kirihara was taught how to be angry. Kirihara was taught how to channel his anger in tennis, which is absolutely what Konomi ALREADY established. The only difference is, Kirihara taught himself in Konomi's story.
    Game over. Konomi already established how Kirihara learned to use his anger. You can't change that. Well, you can, but it'd be real tacky.

    Quote Quote:
    What are you talking about? I've made it clear already in the chapters that my writing style is different from Konomi's. And like I said, I don't think your argument is good enough to say it doesn't fit the character. You act as if Kirihara is ALWAYS hotheaded. Did you forget who was the one cheering the loudest during Atobe's match with Irie? Kirihara isn't just angry all the time, which fits fine with the way I depicted a young version of him.
    How do I act like Kirihara's always hot-headed? Where did I say that? I'm just saying, your story's Kirihara is unlikely and unbelievable.

    Quote Quote:
    Firstly, my flashback takes place a year BEFORE Kirihara entered Rikkaidai. That in no way suggests Kirihara was always hot-headed. If someone punches you in the face enough times, you're going to get angry, no matter who you are. Kirihara was (in my story) purposely provoked in his training to make his already established inner anger, surface. If you're still not convinced, that's fine.
    I'm just saying, good fanfiction shouldn't have OOC stuff. Shouldn't add things to a character's history that wasn't originally there, either.

  14. #58
    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Fayte's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    Quote Quote:
    Game over. Konomi already established how Kirihara learned to use his anger. You can't change that. Well, you can, but it'd be real tacky.
    No. You're arguing from ignorance. My saying "Kirihara taught himself" is an assumption. The only thing we know of is the Rikkaidai OVA, which does not explain MANY things about Kirihara, such as how he learned tennis. There are MANY "blanks" to be filled, even WITH Konomi doing the writing. You can go ahead and assume everything, but you're still just arguing an opinion from ignorance.

    Quote Quote:
    I'm just saying, your story's Kirihara is unlikely and unbelievable.
    Again, an argument from ignorance.

    Quote Quote:
    I'm just saying, good fanfiction shouldn't have OOC stuff. Shouldn't add things to a character's history that wasn't originally there, either.
    It isn't OOC until Konomi gives a canon flashback 1 year prior to Kirihara entering Rikkaidai, showing that it contradicts what I've written. Until then, everything you're saying is entirely speculation based upon subjective preconceived notions about what you think Kirihara would be like. Adding to what ISN'T THERE is the ENTIRE POINT of fanfiction. Filling in the blanks is a part of the fun. Like I said, I don't think your argument is a good one.

  15. #59
    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Brandnewkid's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    Okay, Fayte. I was just offering my two cents. I could go on and talk about how your writing skills themselves aren't that pleasing, but I feel it'd be "just me talking from ignorance," right? Because, for the record, writing scripts isn't writing fan fiction.

    And oh, you're doing a 'fan-fic' and calling it an OVA? Tell me more about how you're a part of the animation department creating a new installment in the franchise.

    I'm only telling you this for your benefit, as a person who used to write well-received shonen fan-fiction back in the day. But if you want to believe I'm just attacking you, be my guest. I don't have to help you out and you don't have to accept my help.
    Last edited by Brandnewkid; May 09, 2012 at 06:32 PM.

  16. #60
    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Fayte's Avatar
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    Re: [PoT OVA Script] Legend Of The Black Lions

    Spoiler: Chapter 6: "Clash Of Two Elites" show
    Last edited by Fayte; May 10, 2012 at 12:02 AM.

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