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I've always believed that emotions, metaphorically resemble human fingerprints. As a relative feeling, pain is shaped by the personality of a person and the external factors surrounding that person(exact situation, faith, family, friends, culture, society, etc). Hence pain is "unique" to every person. I'm not saying that one can't relate to pain, because in the end, suffering means suffering; but rather, I'm suggesting that its effects or its symptoms (if you wish) shape the degree of pain. Hence, outsiders can relate to pain (because heck, everyone suffered in one way or another), but they cannot completely understand it because their whole experience and way of life were rather different.
For example, a mother who lost her child can relate to another mother who experienced the same thing. However, external elements impact the degree of pain. Imagine that one lost a child at birth, whilst the other lost an teenage child. One was married, the other was a widow...one had children, the other did not...one had a good financial situation and the support of her family the other didn't. One was a strong believer, the other was not....etc, etc, etc, etc ~ the list goes on and on!!!!
Bottom line is that pain exists to be felt...it's simply the way it is. However, how you deal with it is important...and what Milly suggested is legit ~ a positive attitude towards life helps you move on, continue to live so that you can experience happiness...not only pain.
@Haku...just for the record...why would you want to change a person?
There's a variety of explanations one can come up with to this, but if I were to say neatly, I would say it's related to the inner desires.
You are trying to shape the world into your own comfort zone, consciously or subconsciously, cause you desire it to be that way. That's pretty much the same as desiring to go live in an island, isolated from society by any means. If you cannot change people, which is something you won't be able to do, you shut the door on them, so that their opinions will not get to you.
In one other way, you may choose to become friends with those who constantly stress your major issues considering your view of life.
Then, every friendship, every bond becomes a challenge.
I'm the type of person that envisions life as a sewer carrying loads of shit. However, from time to time this sewer has manholes which can help one climb to the surface. Yet, reaching the surface is dependent on the decision to find the manhole and in some cases to climb it up. What I'm trying to say here is that you can decide with whom to become friends. As they say: you can choose your friends; but you can't choose your family. In life, you will meet many people but not all will share your interests, opinions, and ideas. Hence, you will choose to befriend those you can relate to. Besides, you have to realize and accept that people are different and imperfect (even you). Isolation is not the way to happiness...acceptance is! ~ at least, I see it that way. I'm not saying you should accept shit, I'm just saying that you should try to accept that, maybe, no one can meet your expectations.
Similarly to you, I am a visionary. However, I'm also pragmatic and understand that mentality can't be easily changed. So my advice is to be like Galileo Galilei (I hope you know his story)~ don't renounce an idea only because others are against it, but rather convince (without imposing) them that your idea is legit. Besides, you have to be aware that maybe in your lifetime, no one will accept your ways/opinions/methods. But that should not stop you from trying. Maybe, future generations will thank you for it.
You have come up with a very good explanation of yours here.
It's because I acknowledge my imperfection, I developed a tendency to have a go at myself as if I'm as weak as a nobody. That shouldn't be the way to treat your self, either. In my judgement, it was a poorly developed plan over years, so, I had to throw it away as a whole.
There are two ways to get out of that unending road down. One, embrace yourself as who you are. Two, embrace other people as who they are. If one can achieve both, he'll embrace the life as it is, which is supposedly the only way not to make a hell out of this world in my eyes.
I myself already gave up on trying to force things through. Now, I'm more observant and understanding. However, I cannot easily cast aside the emotion I feel radiating from people around me, so, in the end, I can totally ignore one's presence based on intuitive perception.
I feel like this is another mistake, but I couldn't come with an answer to it yet.
:cookieface..........that shows how little you know about me, Niichan....I confess that I'm more than meets the eye!
I am being sponsered to go to a Magic Tournament in Dallas in January... I am excited
Oh wait, I spoke too soon. He is going to Dallas
And no crap. It's up to the person himself to change. You can threaten to change the person all you want, but he'll regress unless he truly wants to change. Changing one's self is hard, it takes time, it takes determination. It's not easy. Anyone who says it's easy is bullshitting, or hasn't really changed. All you can do is guide the persona and help him stay on his path, but you cna't force him to change.
Positivity is helpful. I try to be positive mainly to avoid getting angry, getting revenge, etc. It helps as well. Positivity can let you see things in a better way and new light, instead of focusing on negative. I firmly believe that there's always at least one door open no matter how many doors close.