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Translations: Bleach 595 (2)
For the past few years since Tobi was revealed, a lot of people have been making fun of everyone that argues that Obito is Tobi.
Therefore, I'd like to return the favor and make fun of people that think it's impossible and use stupid arguments to support this. Have fun, and read it with a grain of salt, it's a humorous piece, after all.
Hello, I've been trying to uncover the identity of one of the biggest mysteries in the world of Naruto. That is to say, the female Naruto.
Any average reader will be able to tell that this mysterious character and Naruto have overwhelming similarities. It's almost like the author intended for them to be the same person.
But they can't be the same person.
That lady has BOOBS. She's way taller than Naruto, she's clearly an older gall. She's a female AND older, AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR NARUTO CHARACTERS TO CHANGE THEIR APPEARANCE@!!!!!!!!!! All appearance-changing techniques are genin skills that no serious character would ever fall for, that's why no one ever managed to trick the Third Hokage (and also the ENTIRE sand village) by using this exact strategy.
We also know from a specific scene that this lady was capable of knocking out the Third Hokage himself, as well as other characters stronger than Naruto. Naruto can't defeat the Third Hokage, and would've still been a mere genin at the time of this scene -- therefore, it makes no sense. He cannot be this lady. Not to mention she showed the ability to use the Shadow Clone jutsu in order to create a harem. Naruto can't master the Shadow Clone jutsu, we saw in episode 1 that he was talentless with clones, whereas this lady seems to have a mastery of them just a few days later into Naruto's life. A talentless genin cannot be expected to master strong techniques in a short amount of time. That's also why Naruto wouldn't be able to master a technique in a week if it took the Fourth Hokage three years to do it. Come on guys, talentless characters in Naruto have never been shown to be able to get stronger and learn better moves, don't be silly. Therefore: IMPOSSIBLE. Naruto mastering transformation and clones that quickly would be as ridiculous as a ninja who can't use Ninjuts/Genjutsu beating a genious Uchiha... stuff like that NEVER HAPPENS in this manga.
Another little problem is of course that Naruto characters never ever lie or attempt to trick you (this is not a core aspect of being a ninja, shut up with your rational thought and logic.) That's why Naruto would've immediately fessed up to being that girl if he was asked, which he never did. Seriously. No Naruto character EVER pretended to be someone they weren't, that would just be silly. Shut up with your evidence.
SO, because my creativity and logic have all completely run up, I am going to going to say that all other possibilties are eliminated and the female Naruto is (clearly) NAMIKAZE KAGAMI! (by the way, anyone that doubts this has no understanding of the Naruto manga whatsoever, and their analytical skills are just a load of poo. That's right. Load of poo.)
That's right, Naruto's ancestor that was mentioned in two panels and we know nothing about! They probably put the fox in her at one point or some shit, (whiskers) and also she looks exactly like Minato/Naruto so it makes sense. Yep, perfect sense. This big reveal will just be a character that most people who don't visit Naruto forums probably don't even remember. The only other character I'd be willing to accept would be someone like Uzumaki Izuna, who is Uzumaki Mito's sister. She also probably had the fox in her at one point or some shit, because I'm suddenly willing to accept appearance/age inconsistencies when it suits me <3
Thank you guys for understanding my masterful theory. My logic is flawless.
A lot of the content here is illogical and stupid and just plain not true, and of course the identity of the character in person is not actually a mystery... but I do hope it can help you understand certain things, and why certain arguments are just plain silly.
And I'm not saying Tobi is Obito. I think it's unlikely. Just on the basis that it's what Kishimoto wants us to think, I don't think it'll be him. That being said, in my short stay here i've noticed recurring themes in silly arguments, and I wanted to point them out to you guys this way. Obito is the character Kishimoto is setting Tobi out to be. YES. he's probably only setting it up that way so that he could surprise us when it's not, but NO, it would not be at all illogical for Tobi to be Obito. Tobito being possible is what the manga portrays because it's what Kishimoto wants people to think.
Tobi is none other than the guy in my avatar.
I will make a proper explanation tomorrow ( on a side note, this topic should be in the Naruto playground section )
Nice theory but I still think Obidara or Mabito Senju are more likely.
And I have to agree with Uchiha_Blood, the Ramen Shop guy has been suspicious ever since his first introduction. Did you guys notice his eyes are always closed? Thats because he needs to hide his EMS.
I also think he's Danzou's brother, they look very similar. That guy is the "Root" of all evil in konoha.
Ramen Guy is Tobi: 1000% proven
Good morning dear viewers, today I'll explain to you how Tobi being the Ramen Guy is the absolute, undeniable truth.
We know that many theories were made on Tobi's identity, Obito, Izuna, Shisui, Kagami, Konohamaru, Future Sasuke and the like, but never Ramen guy was taken as a worthy candidate.
So I, Uchiha_Blood, will enlighten you.
Warning, this will spoil next chapter, where probably Tobi's identity will be revealed.
We don't know Ramen guy's powers, for all we know is a normal human being, but there is a clue on what exactly his powers are:
the guy keeps his eyes constantly closed. We know that closed eyes is a trait that is usually given to pretty dangerous people in the shounen world.
Example? Gin Ichimaru and Genryusai Yamamoto from Bleach, fucking Majin Bu from Dragonball Z, Virgo, the gold Saint, from Saint Seya.
All of them are incredibly powerful, so why Ramen guy wouldn't be the same? Also he probably keeps them shut so he can hide his right Sharingan eye, that would draw many questions among the ninjas:
why wouldn't Itachi kill him off? Because Ramen guy was there, killing all those heatens Uchiha that preferred useless food like tomatoes or the sweet japanese things Itachi was munching when he came to Konoha.
Also because if Itachi tried something, he would die in a noodle shower.
Hell if Jiraiya can use hair, why wouldn't Ramen guy use noodles?
He also has a striking similarity with Danzou, meaning the two are probably related:
one helps Konoha in the shadows, the other wants to destroy it from within.
Who do you think gave Orochimaru Hashirama's genes to experiment on his brother?
A random graverobbing on a guy dead from 60 years and probably already dust, or a guy that has an Hashirama tree, and 100000 Zetsus?
That is the main reason as to why I believe Ramen guy is Tobi.
other candidates had no meaning to obtain the immense knowledge this guy had at his disposal:
-if you believe that Tobi is Obito, then you believe, by default, that someone like Naruto can, in one year, obtain more knowledge and skills than fucking Yondaime Hokage.
And we know that Naruto still doesn't remember half of the Rookies names and that he still hasn't understand that Hinata likes him
-Izuna? Bitch please, the guy was 6 feet under even before Konoha was founded
this coming from someone believing Izuna is Tobi
-Shisui? The guy plucked his eye out and died by suicide, his remains are rotting somewhere in Konoha
While Ramen guy has the perfect means to obtain all the knowledge in the world.
Think about it, the guy has a ramen stand, ok? Who are the costumers in said ramen stand?
That's right, fucking ninjas.
Ninjas that talk about their missions, their private lifes, their everything.
How many times team 7 and someone else got on that stand, talking about Akatsuki and everything?
That would prove why Tobi was always one step ahead on the good guys, until now:
Naruto hasn't returned in Konoha in a long time after all, so he had to resort to grunts like Kisame.
Knowledge on Kyuubi and Kushina being pregnant? He was there.
Knowledge on Gai forgetting faces? Neji or Tenten complaining about it when Ramen guy served them a hot ramen.
Knowledge on Kakashi's life? Being in Naruto's team, Kakashi is, like, a permanent costumer of Ramen guy.
Hell, Kishi foreshadowed Ramen guy's immense knowledge back then in part 1!
Perfect knowledge on Jiraiya, just to name one.
We know that Naruto had a shitty life.
We also know that Ramen guy and his daughter were the only ones to be nice to him back in the days.
Has he done it because he is a kind guy?
Pft how naive you all are!
Tobi needs Naruto alive for his Moon Eye plan, and say Naruto died of starvation, he would have to wait for many years for his plan, years he can't affort to wait.
Thus he kept Naruto alive and stunted his growth by making him eat ramen everyday:
its pretty common knowledge that ramen is as good as its unhealty, that way he killed two birds with one stone, keeping the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki alive and making him a retarded midget.
He also doesn't appear whenever Tobi appears:
first time Tobi appeared, where was Ramen guy?
When Tobi stopped Konoha during Sasuke's pursuit, where was Ramen guy?
When Tobi attacked the summit, where was Ramen guy?
Now, where is Ramen guy? I'll tell you, he just got a Rasengan to the face.
Motives behind his actions
Why would Ramen guy do what he did?
He probably is sick of this ninja world, being a witnesser of its life firsthand, listening on how a hero like Kakashi has to waste his life in regret ( Ha! Another proof! ).
How it is ruled by hatred.
That's why he dediced to enact that plan, and Madara, his faithful puppy, went along with him, loaning his name and giving his eyes to Nagato.
We also have a hint that Ramen guy dislikes Uchihas, and that he wants revenge on Sasuke, who dared walk away without eating his ramen.
Guess what? Sasuke became Tobi's puppet and now its on a homosexual quest with a pedophile, a guy that wets himself ( literally ) whenever Sasuke talks to him and a guy that has an unique relationship with birds.
Sucks to be you, Sasuke.
It could also be because he wasn't chosen as a Hokage, or because Ramen wasn't made Konoha's national food.
I don't know, I'll probably wait for Tobi's explanations in the next couple of chapters for the full picture.
Tobi is Ramen guy, that much is certain.
It makes a lot more sense than any other, it has the WTF factor, it has a deep link to the main character life:
the one that gave him affection and kindness is the one that wants him death.
Naruto will thus understand betrayal and grow strong because of it, he then will TNJ Ramen guy so he will turn out to be a good guy, helping Konoha from the shadows by keeping it happy.
With a hot bowl of ramen.
We also know that genetic engineering in the Naruto World works like this:
Basically Kabuto just mashed up and cooked (its steaming) all the shit in a giant meatgrinder. So who would be better suited for messing with Hashiramas DNA and creating stuff like Zetsus then Konohas head chef?
Also: you think his arms and other parts of his body are made from Zetsu-Goo? Nope, you are wrong! Its pasta dough, plain and simple.
While doing some research with google I also found this picture:
I have no idea about the story or explanation behind it but it seems legit, reasonable and makes a lot of sense.
And here's further proof: http://onepiece.wikia.com/wiki/Wanze
This guy shows perfectly that Ramen is a very serious and dangerous matter.
So yeah... all evidence is pointing towards Teuchi Ichiraku... also known as TobiRamen, the renegade Senju who joined forces with Uchiha Madara.
TOBI = A LOG, 100% CERTAIN
In Naruto, when someone gets attacked, they go *poof* and it was just a log. "Tobi" = "To be" = He just wanted "to be" treated with respect. But the ninja world wouldn't be nice to trees, they cut them down and stuff. Tobi is the log that everyone kept attacking, and he just wanted the fighting to stop, so he came up with a plan.
The Rinnegan were originally his. They look like rings of a tree, obviously they're his eyes to begin with!!!!!! Hashirama's genes are also his to begin with, that's why Hashirama can use tree techniques. Tobi was mad that people abused trees, and tried to get the forests on his side, but the rest of the trees wouldn't help him. They just said he stole his brother's leaves and turned the backs of their branches to him.
Also, the ninjas stopped celebrating Arbor Day, so that pissed him off too.
And Tobi IS NOT Obito, the reason he was saying that sh*t to Kakashi about broken promises is because Kakashi promised to plant a tree on Arbor Day in honor of Uchiha IZUNA (and the Kagami guy that Kakashi needed to look up on Narutopedia) but didn't!!! Broken promise, not the Rin thing. (He was also just hanging out for some reason in the graveyard one day and heard Kakashi cry about Rin's death, so he figured why not mess with him many years later about it when they were fighting or something. Logs like to be jerks sometimes.) He also got Obito's eye because he was the log on the ground next to Obito's body! Also, Tobi was first cut into a log by Uchiha Izuna!! Nothing else makes sense, seriously.
Tobi was going blind from using his eyes, so he took his brother Zetsu's eyes! This is true!!!!! We're obvisouly not sick to death of the lame brother plot, so that HAS to be it. Sasuke/Itachi, Madara/Izuna, Sages's older son/younger son. Tobi/Zetsu.
Also, Izuna is Kagami, who is also his own father and also Shisui's father. Obito is Ten-Ten's father, since both of them are totally irrelevant to the story, and no-one likes them.
Kishi likes to troll internet forums, so he thought it'd be funny if he made it seem like Obito was Tobi. He'll even show Tobi using Obito's face only to later reveal he was trolling and it'd not Obito. Obviously, Tobi is a log.
Tobi = Log, the timeline fits 100%. Trees are old, so is Tobi. Tree and Tobi both start with "T". The Sage of the 6 paths knew Tobi, "sage" is the name of plant and Tobi is a plant too.
He is a log, everything fits.
^ "Log log log log, it's better than bad... it's good!"
Kishi foreshadowed Tobi = log way back then!!!!
TOBI = RAMEN GUY is IMPOSSIBLE because Kishi is making it obvious that it's Ramen Guy, so obviously it can't be him. That'd just be bad writing, seriously.
If Tobi is Ramen Guy, I'm going to stop reading Naruto!!!!! That'll show Kishi to write a fanciful, primarily-children's manga that isn't 100% realistic in every way.
Tobi is a log IMO.
Last edited by Cyrs; August 28, 2012 at 05:39 PM. Reason: more exclamation points
My prediction is that both Tobi and Kakashi's masks get removed and it turns out Kakashi has actually been Obito this whole time and Tobi is really Kakashi who is mad at Obito for stealing his identity.
And if you don't know what that song is, I strongly suggest you watch any of the Naruto abrdiged series!
Those are so funny!