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Thread: Claymore Fanfiction Thread!

  1. #1
    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Shiek927's Avatar
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    Claymore Fanfiction Thread!

    Carrying on from Animesuki, here is the place for any and all fanfiction people want to post.

    Rules will come as they come, if people have any ideas....Personally though, I feel if your story has been posted somewhere else already, it would be better just to provide a link for it, especially if it's huge...unless of course, you are starting fresh from here.

    When it comes to rules however, I'd prefer though to just hold off and see what happens, and if it looks like things can be streamlined better, we'll come up with ideas...as a whole, I'd prefer to be like Pirates of the Caribbean and use the term guidelines more then actual rules .
    You know, there are as many ways to live as there are people in this world...and each one deserves a closer look.

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    Registered User 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member
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    Post Re: Claymore Fanfiction Thread!

    Well then, allow me the honor of being the one to kick off this thread. I'm glad I hadn't posted it on the old forum yet.
    Spoiler show

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    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
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    Re: Claymore Fanfiction Thread!


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    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Shelter's Avatar
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    Re: Claymore Fanfiction Thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by dany le fou View Post
    Well then, allow me the honor of being the one to kick off this thread. I'm glad I hadn't posted it on the old forum yet.
    Very intimate, friendship story. The dialogue could do with a bit of touching up though. Raki's “hey, what kind of friend would I be if I turned my back to you because of that?” made me cringe. I can understand Miria's unwillingness to talk, but I pictured Raki less chatty. And when Miria makes the comment that Raki sounds corny, I wonder if you're deliberately making him sound a bit like a long-lost lover.

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    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Shiek927's Avatar
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    Re: Claymore Fanfiction Thread!

    Hehe, our stories have always been on the light-hearted side Shelter....even our more serious ones, like this one

    I'm curious - if you haven't yet, you should check out 'one last time' on his profile on ff-net....we're not good at dark stories and, while I love reading them, actually making them is something else entirely...you should check it out if you haven't - I have a feeling you'd like it
    You know, there are as many ways to live as there are people in this world...and each one deserves a closer look.

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    Registered User 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member
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    Re: Claymore Fanfiction Thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by Shelter View Post
    Very intimate, friendship story. The dialogue could do with a bit of touching up though. Raki's “hey, what kind of friend would I be if I turned my back to you because of that?” made me cringe. I can understand Miria's unwillingness to talk, but I pictured Raki less chatty. And when Miria makes the comment that Raki sounds corny, I wonder if you're deliberately making him sound a bit like a long-lost lover.
    Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed this story. I don't get why that line made you cringe, but making Raki sound a bit corny was deliberate. It was a bit of a pun on AS that he's been using corny lines in his dialogue recently, besides he wants to lighten Miria's mood, but I may have overdone it a little and spoiled the moment. As Shieky said, I'm more comfortable with humor stories - the sequel to this one is ready, and nowhere near as serious.

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    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member
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    Re: Claymore Fanfiction Thread!

    That is something I wrote a while ago. After rereading and editing some typos and stuff I think it's worth being shown. It's a short story about Priscilla's death.

    Spoiler show


    ---------- Post added April 24, 2012 at 10:32 PM ---------- Previous post was April 16, 2012 at 08:50 PM ----------

    Something else I wrote just recently, it has nothing to do with the stuff from the previous post! Enjoy it, however

    Additional Info for those who haven't read the profiles I posted in the Creation Ideas thread:
    "the fastest warrior alive" refers to Hitomi
    "the black-haired warrior" refers to Jacqueline

    Spoiler show
    Last edited by kstefan88; April 16, 2012 at 01:55 PM.

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    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Blue Pentacle's Avatar
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    Re: Claymore Fanfiction Thread!

    Hi there,


    I am happy to be back with the community after the rather abrupt move from AnimeSuki. Admittedly, I have been rather distracted over the previous months, though do have some news. For those familiar, and new, to my work, I have written varyingly on Claymore; and with particular investment in stories which have crossed Luciela, Abyssal of the South, with Raki and a odd, evolving friendship they cultivate. This story was called "Strange Consorts", and was followed with a sequel in "Strange Consorts: Bad for Business" - a three part story which has only recently been completed.


    Keeping with where I left off, I am depositing the completed story, in its respective parts, for the forum's pleasure.


    Strange Consorts: Bad for Business


    Part One


    Spoiler show



    Part Two


    Spoiler show



    Part Three


    Spoiler show



    I hope that this tale proves interesting and enjoyable for readers .


    Thanks,


    Blue Pentacle.

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    Registered User 中級員 / Chuukyuuin / Member
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    Re: Claymore Fanfiction Thread!

    Hey Blue! Good to see you here, it's nice to have you back.

    Well, it seems I forgot to post my two latest works here, so I might as well correct this.

    Spoiler:  Peaceful Phantom - the morning after show


    Spoiler:  Outtake : What do mean we're dead (again)? show

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    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member
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    Re: Claymore Fanfiction Thread!

    @dany le fou

    I'm not good at expressing my thoughts about a story, but the least I can say is that I enjoyed reading the Peaceful Phantom as well es the day after very much. I had a good flow and I never had thoughts like "you could/should" be doing something else for the whole story and had to read it through. The Outtake story, however, didn't have that quality (iI read it 'til the end, though) but that's most likely due to the fact that the only character in there that I like at least a bit was Cassandra. Is there more of your work to be expected?

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    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Claymore1's Avatar
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    Re: Claymore Fanfiction Thread!

    I really liked the Peaceful Phantom story. I thought it was really cute
    I like the way you portrayed Raki and Deneve

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    Re: Claymore Fanfiction Thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by kstefan88 View Post
    @dany le fou

    I'm not good at expressing my thoughts about a story, but the least I can say is that I enjoyed reading the Peaceful Phantom as well es the day after very much. I had a good flow and I never had thoughts like "you could/should" be doing something else for the whole story and had to read it through. The Outtake story, however, didn't have that quality (iI read it 'til the end, though) but that's most likely due to the fact that the only character in there that I like at least a bit was Cassandra. Is there more of your work to be expected?
    Thanks for the feedback and yes, that outtake was a bit sub-par. I'm basing those on what happens in the manga or random thoughts/comments - Hysteria' death by Abyssal gang bang was a comment from Ulquiorror in the chp 125 discussion thread Unfortunately, since the last 7-8 chapters have just been a long battle, I haven't been able to find much potential for fun. So until the story progresses, don't expect too much, sorry.

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    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner Shelter's Avatar
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    A short review for kstefan88

    Quote Originally Posted by kstefan88 View Post
    That is something I wrote a while ago. After rereading and editing some typos and stuff I think it's worth being shown. It's a short story about Priscilla's death.
    I haven't been around, so I think I should start to read some of the stuff posted here.

    First thought: it's got potential. You have characters that you need to make more distinct. Right now, they just seem to be Claymores with traits, not with personality quirks, preferences or histories.

    I actually prefer the second one you posted, with Lillaine, Hitomi & Jacqueline, even though they're OCs. Partly because the Clare-Priscilla conflict has been covered so many times it's difficult to find something super-creative, and also because your short story about Priscilla's death seemed a bit abstract (as in, everyone's venting their emotions, but real action is limited).

    Also, it would help readers if you did some paragraph and dialogue formatting.

    Hope to see more of your work

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    Registered User 下級員 / Kakyuuin / Jr. Member
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    Re: A short review for kstefan88

    Quote Originally Posted by Shelter View Post
    I haven't been around, so I think I should start to read some of the stuff posted here.

    First thought: it's got potential. You have characters that you need to make more distinct. Right now, they just seem to be Claymores with traits, not with personality quirks, preferences or histories.

    I actually prefer the second one you posted, with Lillaine, Hitomi & Jacqueline, even though they're OCs. Partly because the Clare-Priscilla conflict has been covered so many times it's difficult to find something super-creative, and also because your short story about Priscilla's death seemed a bit abstract (as in, everyone's venting their emotions, but real action is limited).

    Also, it would help readers if you did some paragraph and dialogue formatting.

    Hope to see more of your work
    First: Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it.

    Paragraph and dialogue formatting, eh... always had problems with that, but guess it can't be helped. Gotta try harder on those two from now on.

    As for the characters not being deep, well, since I only posted a short story and a fragment of what I'm writing, that's only natural. A character grows with time so I am not too worried that you can't get a good picture of them yet. Take it as a given that you will get to know them better when I release the first big part of the story. Also thank you for praising my OCs; I thought that using characters already in the story is going to get boring in time (as you stated yourself) and also it would limit me as a writer. On the one hand I am to let them act as they would act in the actual storyline and on the other hand, if I fail to do so, my readers would notice.

    And about the action, well, I don't like to write action parts very much, but I guess I'll post something with more action here soon. Would also be a good opportunity to have that judged

    Thankies
    kstefan88

    /EDIT: No extra action scene, have been creative and here you can read and enjoy the first part of my story! It's called Blankface and features mostly original chars despite Rubel and Rimuto. Enjoy and comment, if you dare

    Spoiler: Blankface show


    ---------- Post added May 02, 2012 at 03:06 PM ---------- Previous post was April 28, 2012 at 08:01 AM ----------

    Finally was able to upload my latest work on Fanfiction.net. I think it's more comfortable to read there.

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8078660/1/bBlankface_b
    Last edited by kstefan88; April 29, 2012 at 02:15 PM. Reason: Added first part of my story.

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    Registered User 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Shiek927's Avatar
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    Re: Claymore Fanfiction Thread!

    First off, I'm sorry that it took me so long to review your latest part Blue Pentacle...discussion for the new chapter, plus other things that I've been doing, have been taking my time...I want to let you know however that I haven't been ignoring you.

    And I did enjoy your final part...As a whole, I enjoyed your story - I'll be honest when I say, that I'm not sure I truly would consider it a "sequel" to your story...to me, it seems more like a side-story or "extra scene" of sorts....a tiny little adventure that went on during the travels of Raki and Luciella; it didn't have the same kind of drama the same way your previous story did, but, in a way, that made it better on it's own because it was easier to get into.

    It was so nice reading your story and delving into your huge detail again...you still remain someone who's level of detail is one that I rarely see - it's just crazy how deeply I'm pulled into the world....excessive perhaps, but I've long since grown used to it, and I definitely love it more then anything else.

    Your latest part I feel was sort of predictable...their was only so many ways it could all turn out, and I'm happy that Raki definitely tried in his own way - Luciella herself seemed to give the man his final chances to turn away, but it was all too late.

    Do I have any disappointments with your story as a whole? In a way, I honestly do....again, it just didn't seem to me to be a "true" sequel...it seemed, again, more like a tiny side-story about a small episode that the Strange Consorts had when they visited this one town....afterward, they move on, and things progress as they did before.

    In all honesty, what I was hoping for, was something more on the level of the previous story...you considered once that Rafaela herself would be brought in (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...postcount=4105), and I was hoping a story on that would come true....in general, I didn't know what to expect, and I feel my confusion in the beginning was because I figured it would be like your previous story (I remember questioning your chapter titles alot :P)....however, this all ended up a, relatively, tiny story that began and ended over three parts.

    So it's not really that I have a complaint per se...I guess I just expected more, even if I did enjoy it regardless....I enjoyed seeing the growing relationship between the Abyssal and her confidant, from the training that goes on, to the simple little exchanges between them.....the relationship after all, is the very root of your story and you pull off character-development, again, like rarely anybody I've seen.....your level of details may feel overwhelming at times, but when the story is squarely rooted on the growth of two characters and their bond...that level of details gives us a focus on said-relationship that isn't often pulled off.

    Overall Blue Pentacle, I really enjoyed Part 3 as I did with your story as a whole....it took an extremely long time to come, but you are plainly a very very busy person, and I'm happy you found the time to complete your work. I certainly hope this isn't the end of your adventures with these two and you will eventually return to them in the future
    You know, there are as many ways to live as there are people in this world...and each one deserves a closer look.

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