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Thread: Original Fiction WIP LONG AND VIOLENT and a poll

  1. #1
    Registered User 初心者/ Shoshinsha / Beginner
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    Original Fiction WIP LONG AND VIOLENT and a poll

    Come on people do the poll 29 people viewed this and didn't tell me anything.

    I forgot to tell you this the title for the story is Elements.
    This title comes from relics in the story that pop up later in the story line.

    ()= Missing data for now


    Prime
    ()

    In the Promethean Fire Pits two figures stood posed for battle in the volcanic caves deep underground. A chaos demon named Vega who caused the deaths of thousands of humans and then there is the female fehuman named Jade.

    "So you showed up, Jade" said Vega.

    "Someone has to stop you" said Jade.

    Vega smirked at Jade.

    "And you think you can stop me?" mocked Vega.

    "Just try and keep up!" said Vega.

    He ran forward at super speed and charged towards Jade. She leapt out of the way. Vega ran past Jade he slashed at her with his sword. As Jade blocked sparks shot off from the colliding swords. Vega ran at Jade and brought his sword down. Jade put her sword in the way. The force of the blow sent Jade skidding backwards.

    Jade leapt up in the air as fire erupted from the ground. She landed in front of Vega. She kept swinging a Vega. She plunged her sword into his chest. Blood sprayed from the wound. Vega punched her sending her flying backwards. She landed on the ground hard. The soil craters as she slides.

    Vega's chest wound begins to heal.

    "Damn, healing factor" said Jade as she gets up. She spits up blood.

    "I've got a proposition for you fehuman" said Vega.

    "What proposition?" asked Jade.

    "It involves your boyfriend ( )" said Vega.

    "Leave him out of this!" yelled Jade.

    "He is going to die" said Vega.

    "Unless you beat me then you'd have just enough time to save him" said Vega.

    Jade started to get angry.

    "It's on your head if you don't" said Vega.

    "You Bastard!" yelled Jade as she ran forward.

    She swung her sword. Vega caught it in his hand.

    "You'll have to do better than that. The man that you love is going to die" said Vega.

    He threw her back. Her body bounces off the ground. After she lands she rests. Dust fills the air. Jade reaches for her sword over to her side she picks it up. She begins to stand.

    "I have to stop. There is no choice." said Jade.
    She looks up and her pupils constrict.

    Jade runs at Vega. She drags her sword on the ground it kicks up dirt. She spins her sword. Vega begins to block. She stabs her sword into his throat. She drop kicks Vega. The sword comes out of Vega's throat as he sails backward into a stone pillar.

    Rubble piles onto the demon. Jade runs forward as Vega begins to get up. The rubble slides off of him. Blood drips from the wound in his throat. He kicks a piece of rubble at Jade. She leaps over it. Vega thrust his sword up at her. She rolls to the side a little bit. She hits into him. Her sword pierces his shoulder.

    He grabs her and throws her away from him. She crashes into a stone pillar. The pillar begins to crack as she slides down it. Vega reaches for the sword in his shoulder and shatters the blade.

    "Why do you fight so hard to protect a human for?" asked Vega.
    He walks forward and stops to pull out a blade fragment.
    "We will have to fight them someday. You see what they are capable of doing to there own kind. Think of what they would do to those who are different from them altogether." said Vega.

    "It doesn't give you the right to kill millions of innocents" said Jade. She spits up blood.

    "When Ragnarok comes you will change your mind. Many more will die." said Vega.

    "We can't defy our fate. Mine is to destroy while yours is to stop me." said Vega.

    Jade gets up.

    "This isn't the final battle, Jade. It is only the beginning." said Vega.

    "Next time we meet I won't be so kind" said Vega as he walked away.

    Jade falls over and blacks out.


    When Jade comes to Vega is gone.
    She gets up and begins to run towards the surface to where she left ().

    She makes it in time to see () get stabbed by an Orc warrior.
    () falls to the ground.

    "No!!" yells Jade.

    She lunges herself at the Orc. She grabs the Orc and throws him at a tree. A treebranch imales through the Orc's chest. It goes limp.

    Jade runs over to () and lifts him in her arms.
    () reaches up to touch her face.
    Jade begins to cry.

    "Don't go." said Jade.

    "Jade will you do something for me?" asked ().

    'What?" asked Jade.

    "Make a difference in the world" said ().

    "I promise" said Jade.

    Jade looked at (). His eyes went hazy.
    She closed his eyes. Then she kissed his forehead.
    She set him on the ground.

    She looks down at her hands. They're covered blood.

    "I will make them pay" said Jade.

    "I will stop Vega" said Jade.
    -------------------------------------------
    Fifty years later in the kingdom of Avalon. A city populated by Fehumans. The occupants battle off the Orc invaders.

    One day the Princess is kidnapped by the Orcs.

    The two sons of King Chalmers talk to their father about a rescue mission.

    "We have to get Radinka back" said Chalmers.

    "Avalanche cannot go he is needed here" said Alexander.

    "I will go by myself" said Alexander.

    "Are you sure son?" asked Chalmers.

    "I work better that way" said Alexander.

    "Give Felix my rifle Avalanche if..." said Alexander.

    " I trained him with the rifle to take my place" said Alexander.
    Alexander started to walk. Avalanche put his hand on Alexander's shoulder and stopped him.

    "Nothing will happen to you brother " said Avalanche.

    "Radinka will come home" said Alexander.

    "I'm not so sure I will" said Alexander.

    "Why?" asked Avalanche.

    "I could be out there fighting the Orcs on my own terms" said Alexander.

    Alexander gathered up his gear. He had two knives, Two handguns and some explosives.

    Alexander walked out of the city. He stopped and turned to look back at the city.

    "Goodbye, Avalon." said Alexandeer.

    He turned around and continued walking. He used his sense of smell to track Radinka's wherabouts. He followed the scent into the woods towards the south.

    Nightime.
    He spots the Orc camp.

    Alexander unsheathed his knives. He spotted an Orc sentinel. He ran at him. He leapt onto the Orc and drove his knives into it's chest knocking it to the ground.

    Not far off an Orc sentinel heard a twig snap. The Orc came running. Alexander reached around a tree and stabbed the Orc in the face. The Orc fell over. Alexander threw a twig he had in his hand behind him.

    Two Orc sentinels spot him. They withdraw their swords and charge Alexander.
    Alexander throws one of his knives. The blade scratches the Orc's chest then imbeds into a tree behind him. The Orc reaches down and touches the wound.

    "Lets get him!" yelled the Orc.

    Seven other Orcs storm to the area.

    Alexander tossed the knife into his other hand.

    "Come and get it" said Alexander.

    The Orcs charged towards him.

    One Orc stabbed at Alexander he leaned dodging the blade.
    He grabbed the Orc's arm and drove the blade into his armpit.
    Alexander spun the Orc around and threw him into the other direction.
    The Orc smashes into a tree and falls to the ground.

    Alexander runs at three of the Orcs and stops. They come forward and swing there swords at him. He ducks down dodging the swords. He leans forward and slashes the Orc's in the stomach area with his knife. One Orc raises its sword over his head and starts to bring it down. Alexander catches the hilt of the sword and drives his knife into the Orc's chest. He flips the Orc over and turns and stabs the second Orc in the neck. He pulls the blade out and blood erupts from the wound.

    The third Orc runs up from behind him ready to attack. Alexander jams his knife backward into the Orc's stomach. He pulls the blade upward and then pulls it out when it is in the Orc's chest. The Orc collapses.

    Four of the Orcs surround Alexander. They start attacking. Alexander dodges their attacks. He then starts to attack. He stops one of the Orc's attacks. He then moves the Orc's sword up and blocks another Orc's attack. He takes his knife and stabs the first Orc in the chest then he spins the blade around and stabs the second Orc in the stomach.

    He takes one of the swords and jams into one of the other Orc's chest. He then spins around and stabs another Orc in the stomach he lifts the Orc into the air and throws him. The Orc lands on his head and breaks his neck.

    The last sentinel looks at Alexander and throws down his sword and picks up a bow. He grabs an arrow and strings it. He aims at Alexander and fires the arrow.
    Alexander acts fast and throws his knife. The knife and the arrow fly towards each other. The knife spins as it moves. The knife slices through the arrow and smacks into the Orc which sends him back into a tree.

    "Bullseye" said Alexander.

    He walks up to the Orc pinned to the tree and pulls his knife out the Orc falls to the ground.

    "Time to get Radinka back" said Alexander.

    He heads into the camp and walks towards a large cabin. Two sentinels are posted outside the door. Alexander begins to run he withdraws his knives and throws them at the Orcs. The knives hit the Orcs in the chest. He doesn't stop running and he kicks the door off it's hinges.

    The door hits a couple of Orcs inside.

    "I've come for my sister give me her" said Alexander.

    "What makes you think we're going to give you her. You are one and we are many." said the leader Orc.

    "Superior fire power" says Alexander as he withdraws two pistols.

    He shoots the leader in the head. The other Orc's look in suprise.
    The Orc's freeze.

    Alexander sees Radinka in the corner tied up. He heads over to her and snaps the ropes binding her. One Orc begins to step forward. Alexander turns around and shoots him. The Orc collapses to the ground.

    "Radinka, I need to run far away from here" said Alexander.

    "What about them?" asked Radinka.

    "Don't worry about them" said Alexander.

    Radinka runs out the door. As she moves farther away from the cabin. She hears multiple gun shots.

    She stops and turns around. She begins to walk back. The cabin explodes into a giant fireball. Debris is thrown into the air. Radinka is thrown back by the blast.

    "Alex!" yells Radinka.

    She starts to cry. She starts running home.


    Five years later in the Kingdom of Avalon. The Orcs are still attacking the kingdom.

    King Chalmers has just recieved news from scouts saying that an Orc army is heading towards the city and will reach it in two hours.

    "Avalanche we need to warn the people" said Chalmers.

    "I'll go bring wanderers we don't wan't them to get killed out there" said Avalanche.

    Avalanche begins to run outside. He jumps on his horse and rides out of the city.

    "Felix, prepare the guards" said Chalmers.

    "On it" replied Felix.


    Out in the woods of Avalon a young woman runs from three Orcs.

    "Leave me alone!" yelled the woman.

    "Get her!" yelled one of the Orcs.

    The woman saw a man standing in the middle of the forest.

    "Run!!" yelled the woman.

    She runs past the man.

    The man is Avalanche. He pulls his broadsword off his back.

    "Halt!" yells Avalanche.

    The woman stops and turns around.

    Avalanche takes his broadsword and holds it up.

    "Move aside Fehuman" said the Orc.

    "You don't give orders in my home" said Avalanche.

    One of the Orcs ran up to Avalanche and slasjed at him with his sword.
    Avalanche swung his broadsword and sliced though the Orc's sword.
    Avalanche raised his sword and brought it down on the Orc's head the blade sliced through the Orc's body. The Orc fell over in two halves.

  2. #2
    MH Senpai 英雄メンバー / Eiyuu Menbaa / Hero Member Raine_Joybringer's Avatar
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    Re: Writer Needs Artist check WIP Script tell me what you think LONG AND VIOLENT

    Hm, I'm a little confused. Are you looking for an artist to turn this into some kind of manga? Perhaps you should ask over at the Artists' Studio if you are. But I could see this being interesting.

    RJ's Avatar Rotation!:

    Visit my dA account: deviantART Or my FF.net account: Fanfiction.net

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