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Told her that I wrote something specially for her and she read. And she got the message.
No, she wasn't a genius. She probably already knew it from my demeanor up to that point. In fact, reading that countless times later on, I'm pretty sure she didn't understand one word out of it.
And about me clinging to what I have in life, it might be true. I've contemplating about this for a while now and I know I'm like this for a reason. It's hard to change this part of me though, since it's born out of years of painful experiences. One can't just forget and go on so easily.
I've come to think perhaps it needs to stay that way. One can try to give shape to the soul the way he/she feels like the best, but then, it wouldn't be considered a product of his/her nature anymore, so, can't have it both ways. Hopefully, if it's a hindrance, it will just crumble away by time.
As the word suggests, this requires hope and faith in the destiny. The more suffering you go through, the more fragile that faith gets. The less ambitions you carry on, the less hope you will feel. Knowing this doesn't really make things easier, but it helps to at least keep some sort of vital patience.
It was my fault to try getting into something with such a childish girl to begin with.
Edit: Oops, just realized how filthy doing nothing noteworthy could sound
I mean, we didn't even go watch a movie together, yet, we were apparently in a relationship. But telling about that to anyone was also forbidden by her request
Last edited by Hakuteiken; February 01, 2013 at 02:17 PM.
So she was trying to deflect everything on you and making you feel bad for admitting your feelings? that's shitty.
That's not a relationship, you didn't even hangout, as you've pointed out. It's a shame, her loss I guess.
And her reason to break-up was exactly the fact that we were doing nothing together, when she wasn't willing to do anything with me at all
I don't know. I lost quite a bit of time thinking about all that. It was standing on my way. Fortunately, it's all history now. Might give me a permanent headache with girls, though. I was already not doing a fine job in the first place
Don't let that one experience ruin or get in the way of your pursuing other women in the future. Sounds like it was a real waste of your time there. As for being girls in general, it's something you just get used to; gotta get used to talking to them first.
That's a bit tough, since there are no common interests to begin with, between me and girls, I mean
Not that it's impossible, but I seem to have lost the whole tiny amount of youngster motivation I had with that, that's what makes me a bit worried
I really need a Gai now
dude that's pretty bad, aren't there any in your classes?
What classes? They are all finished, except the graduation project, which I'm doing on my own.
Times of solitude..
So you don't go out to bars or anything like that?
Well I guess you'll have time to do so afterwards...