Bleach
216
Bleach 216
-> RTS Page for Bleach 216
Hiya! This is my very first post on this forum, so I hope I get this right.
This is my version of chapter 216. Not for Scanlation. I took liberties with Hiyori's thick accent in an effort to make it pronounced and notable, but I feel I've done badly in that area. I would greatly appreciate any feedback from fellow Bleach translators.
Originally posted yesterday on the LiveJournal community "soul_society" under my username "rukia."
Page 1
...虚化...!
Ichigo: ...she's gone Hollow...!
お...おいおいおい!!
Sideburns: Whoa... Hey hey hey!!
待ちなよ　ヒヨリっ!!
Ruffles: Now wait, Hiyori!!
ひよりん!!
Short Stuff: Hiyorin!!
Page 2
...何をビビってんねん。面を持っとるから『仮面の軍勢』言うねんぞ。虚化ぐらいするわい。ビビんな一護。うちは真子みたァに甘ないで。ビビリよる前に虚化せんと...
Hiyori: ...What'cha so scared of? We call ourselves "Visored" 'cause we carry around masks. (1) Turnin' into a Hollow ain't that tough. Don't be scared, Ichigo. I ain't gonna be no where near as easy on ya as Shinji was, so if ya get all scared before ya go turnin' Hollow -
Page 3
あんた
Hiyori: you -
Page 4
ほんまに死ぬで
Hiyori: are seriously gonna wind up dead.
Page 5
216. The Supression of Darkness
Page 6
だいじょうぶ?ハッちん。
Short Stuff: Are you doing alright, Hacchin?
Not 大丈夫デス...
Hacchi: NOT alright... (2)
Page 7
はっ　はっ　はっ　...ぐ...ッ...
Ichigo: Haah Haah Haah ...guhh...
...ええ加減にせえよ。まだわかれへんのか。
Hiyori: ...Gimme a break. Ya still don' get it yet?
Page 8
ビビんな言うてるやろ、一護。
Hiyori: I told ya not ta be scared, Ichigo.
...ビビってねえよ。
Ichigo: ...I'm not afraid.
...ええこと教えたるわ。卍解しィ。
Hiyori: ...Lemme teach ya somethin' good. Use the Bankai.
...うるせえ。
Ichigo: ...Shut up.
わかってるで。うちみたァに強いのと戦うてる時に卍解なんかしたら、アッという間に虚を抑え切れんようになる思てビビってんやろ。
Hiyori: I know all 'bout it. If ya use the Bankai while goin' up against someone strong like me, yer scared of the Hollow breakin' free before ya can do a single thing.
...うるせえっつッてんだ!
Ichigo: ...I said shut the hell up!
Page 9
ハゲが。オマエ見とるとハラ立つねん。ビクビクビクビクしゃーがって!ええわ、もう。そないイヤなら好きにしィ。卍解も虚化もせんでええ。オマエ殺して、終いわ。
Hiyori: Fool! (3) Lookin' at you really makes my guts boil! Acting so freakin' ner-ner-nervous! Fine, whatever. If yer so against it, then do whatever the hell ya want! Don't ya bother with usin' the Bankai or goin' Hollow! I'm gonna kill you and end this.
Page 10
考えるんだ。こいつは何で虚化しても正気でいられる!?こいつはどうやって仮面を着け外ししてる!?直接戦ってるんだ。いくらでも見られる。見て、考えれば解る筈だ!!その為にここに来た!!
Ichigo: I'm thinking this over. How can she stay sane even when she turns into a Hollow!? How does she pull on and take off the mask!? She's fighting me straight on. I can watch her constantly. If I watch her and think this through, I should be able to figure this out!! That's the reason why I came here!!
Page 11
卍解もしねえ。虚化もしねえ。あいつに魂を明け渡すのは　二度　と
Ichigo: I won't use the Bankai. I won't turn into a Hollow either. Surrendering my soul up to that thing yet again is not -
Page 12-13
おあアアアアアアアあああああ
Anti-Ichi: OOOOOHHHHAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
Page 14
Page 15
...が...ッ
Hiyori: ...gahh...
Page 16-17
Page 18
___...充分や。文句無いな?ひよ里。
Shinji: ___...That's good 'nough. No more complaints, Hiyori?
Page 19
...オマエもよう解ったやろ、一護。オマエの虚は頭やら体やらで考えたぐらいで押さえ込めるような代物やない言うことが。合格や。虚の抑え方、魂の芯まで叩っ込んだるわ。
Shinji: ...Got it now, Ichigo? You've figured out that your Hollow ain't the sorta pushover you can supress just by thinkin' with your mind or body. (4) You pass the test. Learnin' how to supress the Hollow is somethin' we're gonna pound right into the core of your soul.
(1) "Visored" = "Legion of Masks." It should be noted that the spelling "Vaizard" and "Vizard" are also used in various translations of the word.
(2) "NOT" = English "not." Just add that to list of oddities in Hacchi's speech pattern.
(3) Lit. "baldy" She referred to Shinji this way in the past as well. I'm not sure of the best way to translate this comment because A) I could be misinterpretating what she means by that, B) she is just using it as a general insult with very little meaning behind it, or C) she knows something we don't and seriously thinks that Ichigo and Shinji wear wigs. I can only conclude one thing: I really need to study more Kansai.
(4) Hirako says "shiromono," but I'm having a hard time trying to define that. I settled with "thing," but that doesn't seem enough. Changed to "lightweight"
EDIT: Added in the Japanese script as well.
EDIT2: Changes made to the terms "vaizard" and "thing."
Have you shown your appreciation today? Click the thanks button or write your appreciation below!
About the author:
Alias:
Airy
Message:
Pm |
Email
Author contributions
Quick Browse Translators
Translations of this Chapter
| Date |
Chapter |
Language |
Translator |
| Feb 24, 2006 |
216 |
|
Djudge
|
| Feb 24, 2006 |
216 |
 |
C4animax
|
| Feb 24, 2006 |
216 |
 |
holahola
|
| Feb 24, 2006 |
216 |
 |
kadodo
|
| Jan 27, 2009 |
216 |
|
molokidan
|
Latest Site Releases
Latest Translations
| Date |
Manga |
Ch |
Lang |
Translator |
| May 27, 2012 |
KissxSis |
57
|
|
luispau...
|
| May 27, 2012 |
Akame ga Kill |
12
|
|
lucifell
|
| May 27, 2012 |
Soukai no Eve |
8
|
|
PROzess
|
| May 27, 2012 |
The Breaker: New... |
34
|
|
Goudarz
|
| May 27, 2012 |
The Breaker: New... |
33
|
|
Goudarz
|
| May 27, 2012 |
The Breaker: New... |
32
|
|
Goudarz
|
| May 27, 2012 |
Minamoto-kun's... |
33
|
|
PROzess
|
| May 27, 2012 |
Magi - Labyrinth... |
140
|
|
aegon-r...
|
| May 27, 2012 |
Hanamaru Youchien |
Special : Volume 6 Special
|
|
Eru13
|
| May 26, 2012 |
Otoshite Appli Girl |
6
|
|
Eru13
|
Login or register to comment
Benefits of Registration:
* Interact with hundreds of thousands of other Manga Fans and artists.
* Upload your own Artwork, Scanlations, Raws and Translations.
* Enter our unique contests in order to win prizes!
* Gain reputation and become famous as a translator/scanlator/cleaner!
AND just so that everyone is clear, IF you use her translation for a scanlation (which is against her wishes) Your account and anyone related to helping scanlate that chapter using her translation will be perm banned. Thanks :)
Love these comments.
I like how you also put the japanese text in it! I'm very glad that you decided to join this forum! :)
However I believe "Vaizard" isn't a proper name even though it is acceptable with the katakana. Hiyori's line on page 2 clearly shows that their name is "Visored" as that relates to them wearing mask. "Vaizard" meanwhile has no connection. Its not your fault since its common to put Vaizard, but "Visored" is clearly the correct line.
"Fool" is exactly what is being implied. Normally its supposed to imply the lack of hair on ones head but in this case its implying the lack of something else of the head which you captured correctly. It's a perfectly acceptable albeit unusual use of the word.
The translation of 代物 as thing is perfectly acceptable. The only reason it may feel weird is because you are reffering to the Hollow as a "thing". Or it could be because 代物 here refers to the Hollow being underestimated. So "pushover" could work. I like "lightweight" personally because it can be easier to swap into the sentence. But yeah as you said, its quite challenging to find a proper word for that sentence.
But these aside, its an awesome job. Hopefully my comments helped you or someone.
-Ryoma Echizen
For the term Vaizard, I'm not really sure which spelling would be correct at the moment since there has yet to be a romanji spelling of it (I keep hoping that one of the chapter openings will feature that like it does with the individual characters, but that's yet to happen). I tend to use "Vaizard" because that is what it sounds like when I say it aloud and it's personal preference of what sounds stronger and gives the term an alien feel. Not very intelligent reasons, I admit, and I apologise for that.
I asked a friend about the use of "hage" and she explained to me that it's like calling someone "boke" when they're not really dumb or a wimp when they're really not all that weak. As you've said, it's an unusual way to use that term. I'm glad that it stands alright when translated into a general insult.
Thank you for explaining some of the possible alternatives with Shiromono. I agree that "lightweight" or "pushover" would work even better at getting the idea across. Would it be alright if I corrected the sentence in the script above to reflect that? ^_^
Thank you very much, once again, for your feedback!
By the way, what was your view on how I handled Hiyori's voice? Should I tone down the accent into more standard spelling/grammar or keep experimenting with it until I find something more fitting?
"We call ourselves "Visored" 'cause we carry around masks" makes the sentence's meaning crystal clear. Vaizard has no particular meaning in either language otherwise. Only as a representation of the english word "Visored" does ヴァイザード have any meaning.
Surely you wouldn't translate ジーンズ (jeans) as Jiinzu just to match the katakana/romaji reading. Please change the line. It's one thing to sound cool but another to completely miss the point of the sentence.
I didn't think I needed to give permission but you can use my words (pushover or lightweight) for 代物 though it doesn't really need to change if you don't want to.
As for Hiyori you did a good job. I personally don't really have any particular suggestions for how to translate such dialects, just do what feels right.
-Ryoma Echizen
:glomp I can understand why you were so hesistant to change it Airy.