Gintama 263

I'm really freakin tired.
BOMBER D RUFI
Lesson 1: Sorachi realizes that I'm tired, and because he hates me he makes this chapter double the freaking amount of text.

(Side text- Dear god stop me from translating this much ever again.)

I'M REALLY FREAKING TIRED LESSON ONE............END.

Good Luck Binktopia.

(Sfx- Chiku Taku Chicku taku Tick tock tick tock)

(Bottom text- 'Gin five' is out in stores! Volume 29 will hit bookstands July 3rd!!)

GINTAMA.

(Side text- Within the entrails of time, A man sits alone.....)

{...Faster}

{Please, faster..}

(Sfx- Kaku kaku shiver shiver)

{I'm begging ya...}

{Make this go faster.}

(Sfx- Gyutsu grip)

{Come on, do it....}

{Just put me out of my misery.}

002

{Just let me get off this once...you can do it.}

{I just want to leave here alive.}

{Why is it that you slow down when you know I'm watching?}

{Why time, why do you mock me so?}

Gintoki: JUST KILL MEEEE!!!

IF YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME OFF, GET IT OVER WITH!!!

OR IS IT THAT YOU ENJOY MESSING WITH ME,YOU SICK BASTARD?!

Pleaaaaaaaaase!!! If you're gonna kill me, do it quick and quietly!!

I can't take this painful atmosphere anymore!!!

Come on man! I'm begging ya! Just hurry up and kill meeeee!!!

003

Nurse: Um...Sakata-san...

I'm gonna need for you to be a little bit more quiet.

You're bothering the other patients.

(Side text- Just get a grip!!)

GINTAMA
Lesson 263: Going to the dentist only gets harder with age.
SORACHI HIDEAKI.

(Sign- Southern Dentist clinic)

Gintoki: …..

Sorry.

004

{I hate it...}

{I hate having to come to the dentist.}

{I hate this feeling of unease.}

{The tacky easy listening music}

Dentist: This may hurt a little bit~.

{The resounding echo of the drill...}

{And of course, I can't shake the feeling that I'm waiting for my execution!}

{Especially the way time is dragging.}

005

{I wanna go home!!}

{I'd even go give Sadaharu a sloppy and wet kiss if I could get the hell out of here!}

{But my tooth hurts...}

(Sfx- Zuki zuki- thump thump)

{And I'm scared of the treatment.}

{Dammitall, if I start thinking like that, I'll get stuck in a perpetual cycle.}

{Someone, ANYONE please just take me out my misery, so I won't be left with my thoughts.}

{How the hell did I get a cavity anyway? Sure I like sweet things, which means that cavities aren't far behind..}

{But lately I haven't been able to enjoy even one sweet treat. Hell in the last few lessons, I haven't had a single scene where I ate anything remotely sugar based.}

{Dammit I just know that he's sitting back there, polishing his drill and getting ready for me.}

{Once he takes out the drill, all hope of just getting a normal treatment disappears. The drill's the number one reason why I avoid this place.}

{What'll I do? If he really does take out the drill I'm dead for sure!}

{What do I dooo?! If some of the cavities he shaves out fall into my mouth, my tongue will roll up into my head and I'll die right?}

006

(Sfx- Gabaaa fwooosh)

{NEVEEEEEEEEEEER!!!}

{DON'T MAKE ME DO ITTTTTTTTT!!!}

{I need to stop over thinking myself.}

{Screw thinking. If I keep that up, I'll never be able to receive treatment..}

{There's no need to be scared, it's just my imagination.}

{I know, I'll read something, and that'll get my mind off of the dentist's drill.}

Gintoki: Now for some Jump....

Aww this place only has a copy of Magazine. Eh it'll do.

008

Gintoki: So Mr. Sleepy eyed nicotine addict has shown up too?

Hijikata: Seeing your ugly mug makes my sour tooth even more sour you know?

I have a feeling that it's all thanks to a sliver permheaded loser, that my tooth hurts.

Gintoki: Hand it over. I saw this first.

Hijikata: No we saw it at the same time. Besides you always read Jump. This is Shounen magazine reject. So give it to me.

Gintoki: It's called knowing the enemy. You think Jump would have last this long if they didn't do that?

Not saying that I know anything Magazine reaching it's 50th year with Sunday.

Hijikata: Wha tare you asking to me my friend or something? You jealous of me? You never get invited to parties or something?

Gintoki: I have no problem getting into parties. You're the one who should show some damn courtesy. Just cause I like reading jump alone, doesn't make me a loser.

Hijikata: You? Courtesy? Don't make me laugh. You and your jump can go to the recycling bin for all I care.

(Handwritten: Um...You two need to be quiet, there are other people here.)

Gintoki: What you think you're popular or something, just because you think you're friends with Sunday? Well lately I've heard kids talking smack about both of you when your back is turned.

Hijikata: Kids wouldn't say anything bad about Shounen Sunday. Shut your trap.

Gintoki: Fine then, lets compare your popularity with Shounen Magazine shall we?

Hijikata: Shut your damn trap!! What do you understand about Shounen Sunday?!!

Gintoki: Aww does the lil' baby want some friends? Well guess what! No one gives a damn if you're sad! Not even Shounen Gangan or Ace!!

Nurse: HEY! I told you two to BE QUIET!!

008

Hijikata: Great. Why the hell did he have to be here.

Gintoki: Of all the people....

Why the heck did he have to come here?

{He's only pretending to get along with me for now...}

{But the minute he gets a chance, he'll use my weakness against me.}

{No matter what though, I can't let that guy know that I'm afraid of the dentist at THIS age.}

009

(Sfx- Sowa sora Shuf shuff)


Gintoki: Hey...

Maybe we shouldn't talk about those things for now.

I see you shivering over there bud.

Just calm down a little will ya?

I'm not shivering or anything, just this chair's kind of rickety.

Though you're looking absolutely petrified on your end.

Hijikata: Knock the pity party off.

Gintoki: You're trying to play it off. But I already see you glancing around the room in fright.

(Sfx- Kata kata shiver shiver)

Gintoki: Wait a second...

You wouldn't be scared would you? The demonic vice captain?

Hijikata: Sorry I must be hard of hearing....

But did you just insinuate that I'M afraid of the dentist?

Well let me tell you, I'm not.

Honestly, don't you think I've got other things to use my well deserved fear on, other than dentists?

Gintoki: Oh? So you have absolutely no fear concerning the drill he's going to use on you?

Hijikata: I deal with 'drills' every single day at work.

One more drill isn't going to scare me off that easily.

Gintoki: Oh? Is that all? Well I'd like to inform you that I'm into my third day of intensive drill training. I think of nothing but drills all day long.

Hijikata: Oh? Is that so? Well I've been playing Mr. Driller, and that whole game is all about drills anyway.

010

{Drillerrrr?!}

Gintoki: So you're pretty good with drills? Me too!

Well we should consider entering a team drilling contest someday.

{What the hell is Mr. Driller? I'm sure he doesn't even know what that game IS, much less how to play it!!}

{A DRILL CONTEST?!}

Hijikata: Sure! The next time I take off of work, I'll call you up.

{NO WAY IN HELLL!! I'd run in the opposite direction if we had a drill contest right now! Don't screw with me!!}

Hasegawa: Huh? What are the two of you guys doing here?

Gintoki: Hasegawa-san.

Hasegawa: Are you guys running into tooth problems too?

Hijikata: Ah..well I was walking around and figured I had nothing to lose with some drilling.

Hasegawa: Drill? What are you talking about?

Gintoki: Are you here to be drilled Hasegawa-san?

Hasegawa: Drill? You say...Well I guess I had to get a little treatment, since I got a little stuck when I was trying to bleed the lizard.

011

Hasegawa: That hurt...

Like hell though.

Hijikata: Oh~ I see.

Hasegawa: I had been avoiding the dentist for a while since nothing he does is a walk in the park, but now I'm suffering because I NEED an appointment, rather than just wanting one.

But In any case, I sure hope they're able to cure this pain.

I dunno how many times I've been reduced to tears because of it.

Dentist: May I see Hasegawa-san?

Hasegawa: Ah! Yes, I'm on my way in.

Well I hope that you guys are ready for you own turn....it might help if you got your resolve in order.

Gintoki: So...SO it does hurt?

But I guess that's what has to be done when your teeth hurt...

Hijikata: I suppose so! But I wonder if this pain will fix our teeth will make a differece.

012

Gintoki: What's wrong there pal? Your face is turning green.

Hijikata: Nothing...Nothing at all.

(Sfx- Gari gari gari wrrrrrr)

(Sfx- Sugogogogogo rmmmble)

Hasegawa: GAHHHHHHHH!!!

Gintoki: Hasegawa-san just walked in there with out a care in the world....bet he regrets that now.

(Sfx-Grurooooooo Gahhhhhhh)

(Sfx- Paki paki cractkle crackle)

Hijikata: Nakayama-san's got Hasegawa-san strapped town to the bed as he works on him....

Doesn't that seem a bit....strange to you that they're putting him through that pain?

Gintoki: What kind of medical treatment is he doing?!

(Sfx Gyahhhhhhh!!!)

(Sfx- Bushiiiiii Blllloooorsh)

(Sfx- Piii beeeep)

Nurse?: Doctor? Hasegawa-san's pulse is...

Nakayama: We'll have to get the defibrillator out again won't we nurse?

Gintoki: Electric shocks?! Since when is that a treatment for a sore tooth?!

(Sfx- Dooon Dooon*)

Nurse: Sir, it seems like his pulse has returned.

But the place where we administered the pain seems to be melting off.

Gintoki: What does THAT MEAN?! SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN IT TO ME!!

013

Nurse: Ahh Nakayama-san, is this really okay? There seems to be a red substance coming from him.

Gintoki: Red substance?! Nakayama-san, do you know what you might have murdered someone?!

Nurse: Doctor, which of that riff-raff outside should I call in next?

Hijikata: Riff-raff?! You do realize we can hear you out here! Nakayama-san' what's the meaning of this?!

Nakayama: Okay, with this we're about finished.

Hijikata: He's probably choking on his own fluids now!

Doctor: How was I Hasegawa-san?

Hasegawa: Man this is no lie!! It actually doesn't hurt any more!

Hijikata: You do realize what they did to you isn't something that other people should go about repeating!!

Dentist: I'm sorry for inflicting that pain on you,

Try to watch what you're eating for now on okay?

Hasegawa: Aww~. If it's for you I'll give it my best shot.

Nakayama: Just make sure you take care of them after all of your meals,

And to keep the pain away, let me give you this special toothpaste.

Hasegawa: You shouldn't have, really....thank you so much.

Nakayama: Thank you and, don't come again too soon~!!

Hasegawa: Thanks a lot.

014

Hasegawa: Maan!

I feel like a million bucks.

I was expecting the pain to drive me to the brink of insanity,

But the guy knows what he's doing! Plus I got a special toothbrush.

{WHAT DID...}

{DID HE FIX EXACTLY?!}

015

{Wait uppppp?! Did he mean something like this,}

{When he promised to fix youuuu?!}

{Wait a minute!! Sure you got your teeth back to normal, but at what price?!}

Nurse: Be sure to brush your teeth well, and have a follow up visit.

{ISN'T THIS TOTALLY AGAINST EQUIVLENT EXCHANGE?!}

(TN- FMA reference for the win!!)

Hasegawa: Oh yeah, I wanted to ask something really quickly...

{That's right! Tell them! Tell them that you're not taking this arm from that creepy dentist!!}

Hasegawa: The tuft of hair on my toothbrush looks like it's falling out...

{THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE AFTER?!}

(Handwritten- I feel like it could break at any time....}

Nurse: Oh that's perfectly normal....they'll begin to loosen up as you continue to brush your teeth.

If you want, you can rub your hands through it to make it looser.

{DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE STIFFNESS!! WITH A BRUSH THAT HUGE, YOU'D NEED YOUR WIFE'S HELP TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH!!}

Nakayama: Thank you for coming!

(Sfx- Zatsu *Swfi)

016

Kondo: Oh, Tosshi?

Why did you show up here? For treatment?

Hijikata: Kondo-sa---

Kondo: Ahh, I figured I should come to the dentist for a routine checkup, and boy do I feel refreshed!

I even got this great electric tooth brusth from them too!

Man! Now I don't have to worry about forgetting to brush my teeth!

{That's not an electric toothbrush at all!!}

{It's just Hasegawa-san's other arm isn't it?!}

017

Kondo: You smell like you've been beaten up recently.

{That's totally Hasegawa-san's arm!!}

Hasegawa: I may have, but this awesome hospital really goes above and beyonnd duity.

Gintoki: I'm telling you, that's your own hand there.

{No, more like they took your hand and gave it to someone else, leaving you with a unwieldy 'electric tooth brush!}

Kondo: Has—My toothbrush smells funny. May I exchange it?

{I heard that! You were totally about to say Hasegawa weren't you?!}

Kondo: Oh, I should also point out that my electric toothbrush doesn't really reach my mouth. That can't be right....right?

Nurse: If your electric brush can't reach your mouth, it's probably best for you to use your own hands to brush instead.

{What the hell kind of service is this?! You're not being helpful at all!!}

Kondo: Well you two, take care~

(Sfx- Gararara claaaater)

{How on EARTH can we possibly 'take care' after seeing what happened to you two?!}

{What'll we do about this Dentist?!}

{He's fixing teeth, and throwing in a little bit of genetic modification for free!!!}

018

{This is bad...}

{This Dentist is baaaad news.}

(Sfx- Bata bata bata tmp tmp tmp)

(Sfx in bubble- eeek!)

{Whatcha doin' punk?! I know you want to run away, so go for it!}

{This isn't a dentists office anymore, but a mad scientist's den!!}

{Quit being stubborn and go home already.

{Please? If you go home, I'll give you 300 yen.}

{What the hell is wrong with him?! Why won't he run away?!?}

{Read the atmosphere you asshead!! Go home, so I can go home too!!!}

019

Gintoki: I guess this means that we're next...so let's just head in.

(Sfx- Bikkun throob)

{...Are you serious...? We're gonna do this?}

{Like for real?}

Gintoki: I should be fine at any rate...I mean as long as I have a strong soul,

There's nothing that can topple me.

{WHAAAT?! DON'T GO IN THERE THINKING THAT!! WHAT THE HELL DOES A SOUL HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?!}

Hijikata: As long as people have a desire to dig...

The drill will always have a use.

{What the hell does that mean?! Are you stupid or something?! Do you think I'M stupid?! Just go the hell home already! There's no need to act all manly, just turn around and hit the door!!

{Hey someone....anyone...!! STOP US!!!}

{PLEASSE DON'T LET US GO IN THEREEEEE!!!}

(Side text- Now enter the gates of hell!!)

GINTAMA LESSON 263.................END.