Gintama 264

Wow! I had no idea that I had reached 100 Gintama translations already! I had been looking at my total translation number so long that I forgot to check the amount I've done for each series. ^^:;; In any case Happy 100th for me and Gintama translation! Now Sorachi...put the G-pen down slowly....and let our uneasy truce begin. (For me...please?)

Binktopia, having trouble with last week? Sorry, but here's one more for you. :)

(Top text- 'Gin five' is out in stores!! Volume 29 of the manga will be released on July 3rd!!)

???: Would the next patient please come in?

(Side text- What is the identity of our amazing mystery dentist?!)

Nurse: Can the two of you follow me?

GINTAMA.

002

Guy: Welcome to the Shady dental clinic. I'm Yabuta.

(TN- It said Nanashika in the original Japanese. This can mean 'no name', but I think Sorachi's just trying to go for a name that sounds less than reputable. (And with that lower panel.....it makes sense.)

Yabuta: Um..Sakata-san and Hijikata-san was it? It's nice to meet you.

There's no need to be scared you two, hahahah.....I promise it won't hurt.

Just sit down and relax.

{Is this.....}

{The scene of a murder?}

003

{Should the operating room have such a lovely shade of red dashed all over it....?}

{Maybe it's just me, but I thought operating rooms should be, yanno....sanitary?}

{More like, can you bleed this much from your mouth?}

{And...stop me if I'm wrong, is that a chainsaw I see among his tools?}

(Sfx- Gashaaaaan claaaaack)

{Should a dentist's office....}

{BE THIS WAAAAAAAAAAY!?!?}

(Side text- Definitely not!!)

GINTAMA
Lesson 264: The Bigger an areola is, the bigger a person can be.
SORACHI HIDEAKI.


Yabuta: You two have some pretty nasty swelling~

Why did you wait so long to come and see me? Leaving the swelling as is is a no-no~~

You know that the mouth is a human's gateway right?

So that's why you should come immediately when you have problems.

See, this is because the mouth is where you put food, which is important for living. Without it all of your other organs would shut down.

I know that people don't pay much mind to their mouths,

But they're essential to living a long and happy life.

But there are still so many people who don't take care of their teeth.

They ignore all the hard work their parents did, instilling good dental habits into them during childhood.

That's why all of my patients are so young, and I find myself repeating the same thing.

When you go to a mixer, be sure to not only notice your date's personality,

But the size of their boobs as well.

(Sfx- Zowakuuu oooooooze)

{Doctor,}

{Get a nurse to check out your entryway stat.}

005

Hijikata: This guy can't POSSIBLY be our Dentist can heeeeeeeeeee?!

(Handwritten- On top of having hideous teeth, he actually struck up a conversation about boobs!!)

Yabuta: You can tell a lot about a person from their boobs~yep.

Women with huge nipples are much more forgiving of mens fancy. This is the truth.

Gintoki: Not only do his teeth look like hell, his breath could knock Satan out!! Someone please put a condemned sign over his face!! Even Niwa-kun didn't have a mouth that looked like a filthy bedpan!!

(TN- Niwa-kun....Possibly Referring to Niwa Nagahide. I'm not sure if the guy had bad teeth, or if Sorachi just dislikes him though....http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niwa_Nagahide.)

Yabuta: Women with little breasts are perky, but needy.

{You really needy a damn toothbrush!}

(TN- Not a misspelling. A joke. A joke.)

Yabuta: Lets talk about women's boobs some other time though, okay?

{Why the hell did you start on this tangent in the first place? Do we look like we're on our way to a mixer?!}

(Sfx- Petsu ptooey!)

Yabuta: Now, lets fix you guys up?

(Sfx- Karan clatter.)

Yabuta: Well since you guys don't have anything serious, I'll let my assistants do the work.

Ah, well they're better than me, so it's hard to tell who the assistant is nowadays.

{T—Thank god, I don't know what I'd do if that geezer tried to put his hands in my mouth.}

Yabuta: Ah, yeah it's those guys over there.

006

Yabuta: Could you two come and give me a hand with these patients?

Lady: Sure.

Yabuta: Which of my assistants would you prefer? The Doom Specter, Shazan-san or Nakayama-san?

{NAKAYAMA-SAAAAAAAN PLEAAAAAAASE!!!}

{SEND NAKAYAMA-SAN RIGHT OVEEEER!!!}

{'The hell is Shazan-san anyway?!?!}

Robot: Ah..How about this?

Nakayama-san, do you like my Black hair?

{More over, why is Doom Specter Shazan working as a dental assistant?! And more importantly, WHAT IS DOOM SPECTER SHAZAN?!}

???: So which one of you wants....

Both: NAKAYAMA-SAN PLEAAAAAASE!!!

Yabuta: I think I heard Sakata-san speak up sooner, so Nakayama-san will assist him.

Hijikata: JUST A DAMN MINUTE!!!!!

007

{All right!!!}

{Saved by the be.....}

Robot: I'm Nakayama.

I will be assisting you Sakata-san.

{Wha...}

{YOU'RE NAKAYAMA-SAAAAAAAAAN?!}

{WAIT!! JUST HOLD UP!!!}

{You totally look like you'd be a 'Doom Specter Shazan' to me!! Nakayama-san's too damn normal for you!! More like, weren't you just talking to that chick earlier, and calling her 'Nakayama-san'?!}

{Hehehehe! Serves you right!}

{I don't get what just happened, but I'm damn glad to have the Doom Specter on my side!}

Hijikata: I'm in your hands,

Shazan-san.

(Sfx- Uiiiin Veeeen)

008

(Sfx- Gachan Kachak)

(Sfx- Viiiin Veeeen)

(Sfx- Gaiiin giiiiin veeeen beeeeeen)

(Sfx- Shakkiiiin kachinnnng!)

Robo: Doom Specter Shazan at your service.

I'll take good care of you, Hijikata-san.

{WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!}

Woman: Well, Nakayama-san, Shazan-san, Good luck!

Robots: Roger.

{SO BOTH NAKAYAMA-SAN AND SHAZAN-SAN ARE DOOM SPECTERS?!?!}

009

Nakayama?: Before treatment, let us explain our system of operations to the two of you.

Gintoki: Before you explain that, explain why the hell you two are Doom specters!!!

Shazan: We of course want to limit how many cavities you have over your lifetime, so we specialize in prevention.

For that end, we have been outfitted with the ability to modify your bodies for future germ destruction.

Hijikata: That's stepping over a dentist's boundary!!

Nakayama?: We have two different sets of modification that you can choose from, the first being the A set.

The second is the B-course, which also comes with a free drink bar.

{What does having a drink bar have to do with fixing my teeth?! And why is it when I look over these options, I feel like ordering from a family restaurant?!}

Gintoki: Ah, well while Modification seems....interesting, can't we just have our teeth looked at?

Nakayama: I suppose then you'd like the modification and treatment? We can arrange that with set A.

Gintoki: No, how about we drop the modification part of this, and go with the treatment?

Nakayama: The closest we have to your request is the Z and X sets.

Gintoki: What are those?

The Z course is treatment for your teeth, and a relaxing massage.

The X set is teeth treatment, and a complementary visit to the salad bar.

010

Gintoki: I'll take the Z course then.

Nakayama: And you want the relaxing massage?

Gintoki: Fine I guess, whatever.

Nakayama: Roger.

{Maybe this won't be so bad, now that I've managed to convince her that I don't need modification.}

???: I'm Betty.

How are you?

011

{I've been fused with a Massage girrrrrrrrrlllllllll?!}

{She just went ahead and modified me anyway didn't sheeeeeeeeee?!?}

{More like, this has nothing to do with ridding my mouth of germs does it?! And when I asked for a massage, I wasn't thinking of anything so blatantly dirty!!!}

{I'm totally not up for this!! I already regret meeting this chick, and she's only been fused to me for 30 seconds!!!}

{Th—That was a close one. That could have been me over there, with strange objects being fused to my body.}

{Hahaha, You idiot. You should have figured that a Doom Spectre would bring you nothing but pain. You look like a science fair experiment gone horribly wrong.}

{Obviously, the X course is the way to go.}

Hijikata: Ah, excuse me. I think I'd rather have the X course please.

{This has got to be the right choice!}

{There's no way that her system can attach a salad bar to my body!}

{Hehehe, Thanks for lighting the path with your stupidity Yorozuya! Now I know exactly what NOT to do.}

012

(Sfx- Bori bori chew chew)

(Sfx- Mori mori shluk chew)

{A Sa---}

{SALAD BAA HAS BEEN ATTACHED TO MEEEEE?!?}

(TN- Salad bar in japanese is Sarada baa. Baa can also mean 'Bacchan' or Granny.)
013

{I've been duped!! Instead of a Salad Bar, I got a Salad Baa?!!}

{More like what the hell is this crap?! It's just two images haphazardly thrown together right?!}

{Beside that, she's using Mayo as her salad dressing!!!}

{Good god, Now I want to join her!! If this keeps up, I might actually be okay with having this lady fused to me!!}

Nakayama: Excellent. The preparations are complete.

Gintoki: Just what preparations are you talking about?! I can't even stand up!!

Shazan: Now we can begin the treatment.

Hijikata: What does this have to do with our treatment? You stick random people into us and then want to work on our teeth?! Start by fixing our bodies!!

Nakayama: Now open your mouth and say 'aaaah'.

Rest assured that I won't hurt you, and there's nothing to fear.

(Sfx- Viiiin veeeeen)

{Not true! I'm afraid of YOU!!}

Shazan: Open your mouth wide please.

If the drill slips, you'll lose that pretty smile of yours.

{Do you think a drill that size can be used in a mouth my size delicately?}

014

(Sfx-Garigarigarigari grinnnnnnnd)

Shazan: Please don't worry. We will make sure to take full responsibility for any mistakes that occur during this procedure.

(Sfx- Ngagogogoghahhhhh!!)

Shazan: How's this? Doesn't hurt at all right?

{Now that you say that....}

{It really doesn't hurt?}

{I don't feel anything at all.}

Nakayama: As your dentists, we have a responsibility to treat you quickly and effectively.

As patients you have a responsibility to only accept high quality care.

To assure quality service we must start with a modification for each and every patient. That way they have nothing to worry about as we work.

{'Scuse me, but I would think that modification would only raise the level of unease, rather than lowering it.}

(Sfx- Zugagagaga sshssssssss)

{Wait a sec...}

015

{All of our pain is just being delegated to those two isn't it?!?!?}

Shazan: No need to worry, all of your pain is being directed to the modifications we made.

{'The hell you mean 'don't worry?!' How could anyone with a human soul look at this and NOT worry?!}

(Sfx- Gyaaaaaaaah!!!)

Nakayama: It's because the two of these ladies are taking your pain that you can experience speedy care without stress.

{Its true I can't feel any pain, but I can see it really well. Is she going to be okay?}

Betty: OWWW!! IT HURTS!!!

PLEASE SAVE ME!!!

(Sfx- Hah hah)

Gintoki: Ah...please stop looking at me like that....I'm not hurting you....am I? Am I hurting you?

Oldbag: It hurrts...

I just want to eat s--salad..

{I get this feeling that I'm at fault here...but I'm not....right?}

016

{Wh..What the...}

{A weird film reel is playing in my head...}

{What is all of this....it's like a movie...What the...could this be a movie about Betty?}

{Why the hell am I taking the starring role in your memories?! Leave me out of this!! More like, shouldn't YOU be doing the work?!}

{STOOOOPITTTTTT!!! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG SO QUIT STARING AT ME!!}

{I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!!! WE MET THROUGH MODIFICATION!! YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT WOULD END WITH ONE OF US DYING!!!}

(Sfx- Buru buru shiver shiver)

{Ah? What the....}

{A weird image just popped into my mind....}

(Sfx- Ahahahah Tehehehe)

017

{The hell is this?! A bad movie?! A bad movie about the Salad baaa?!?}

{More like, why is she so cozy with VEGETABLES?! To what extent do you like your produce lady?!?!}

{The Salad baa's going to die! She's really going to die if I keep getting treatment!!}

{Don't die! No, wait...please die! I have nothing to do with you Salad baa!!}

{I'm not a bad person! I'm not a bad person! I'm not a bad person! I'm not a bad person!}

{This isn't my fault! This isn't my fault! This isn't my fault! This isn't my fault!}

018

Both: That's right!

We didn't do anything wr----

(Sfx- Doshaaaaaaaaa blooooooorsh)

(Sfx- Bicha bicha bicha plissh plissh plissh)

(Sfx- Dochaa Bloooosh)

019

(Sign- Surgeon.)

Lady: Um...

We don't do dentistry here....

Hijikata: We know that.

Lady: But your mouths are swollen, you should have someone look at that before your teeth rot...

Gintoki: It's fine. We've made peace with our cavities.

We'll keep 'em even if our mouths fall off.

Lady: Well...how may I help you then?

Both: Can you fix her please?

(Side text- This is....love.)

GINTAMA LESSSON 264..............END.