Gintama 265

I know that others have said this has been done before, but...I can't get over how clever Sorachi is with this material. I can't wait to see how next week will be!


Ah..Binktopia? It's been three weeks O_o Please don't tell me we're going to do this again...

(Side red text- A center color page commemorating the second Character popularity ranking!!)

(Black ink-ish text: During the dark night, a silver star shines down. For five years this silver star has shared it's radiance with us all, providing laughter and tears. Whether he's underfoot, on top or anywhere in between, Sakata Gintoki is always there when it counts!!)

GINTAMA

(Yellow banner- Number one!)

(Purple-ish banner: YOROZUA SAKATA GINTOKI)

(Yellow and blue text- At long last the Jump Fiesta tour anime shorts are coming to DVD! 2008's 'Birth of Shiroyasha', and 2005's 'No matter what it is first you~' Are gonna hit stores September 30th!! More details after this soul filled chapter!)

SORACHI HIDEAKI.

Lesson 265: Character polls and the like are crap.

002

(Top- The larger than life results of the character popularity poll!!)

(Bottom box- Gintama charges into it's sixth year as we speak! However before that we asked everyone to tell us who their favorite characters are!! Thanks for all of your votes and support! Will the years after this be just as much fun as the five before them?!)

(Below that- Thank you for your votes!! All 30567 of them!!)


1st
Sakata Gintoki
Previous poll: 1st
Stays with 4378 votes.

2nd
Okita Sogo
Previous poll: 2nd
Stays with 3058 votes.

3rd
Hijikata Toshiro
Previous poll: 3rd
Sttays with 2859 votes.

4th
Shinsuke Takasugi
Previous poll: 4th
Stays with 2127 votes.

(TN- Funny as he hasn't appeared in nearly two years...>_>)

5th
Katsura Kotarou
Previous poll: 6th.
Rises with 1659 votes.

6th
Kagura.
Previous poll: 7th
Rises with 1655 votes.

7th
Kamui.
Not in previous poll.
New character with 1517 votes.

8th
Shimura Shinpachi.
Previous poll: 8th.
Stays the same with 973 votes.

9th
Yamazaki Sagaru.
Previous poll 5th.
Drops with 844 votes.

10th
Tsukuyo
Not in previous poll.
New character with 779 votes.
(TN- W00t)

11th
Elizabeth.
Previous poll: 11th.
Stays the same with 776 votes.

12th
Sakamoto Tatsuma.
Previous poll: 9th.
Drops with 530 votes.
(TN- Bring him back Sorachi ;_;)

13th
Sadaharu
Previous poll: 16th
Rises with 486 votes.

14th

Yagyuu Kyuubee
Not in previous poll.
New character with 467 votes.

15th
Kondou Isao.
Previous poll: 10th
Drops with 465 votes.

16th
Sorachi Hideaki
Previous poll 14th
Drops with 378 votes.
(Tn- Ouch.)

17th
Shimura Tae.
Previous poll: 12th.
Drops with 320 votes.

18th
Hasegawa Taizou.
Previous poll: 13th
Drops with 315 votes.


19th: Kawakami Bansai- 289 votes
20th: Okita Mitsuba- 245 votes
21st: Itou Kamotarou- 230 votes.
22nd: Jasterway- 192 votes.
23rd: Kijima Matako- 188 votes.
24th: Tama (Fuuyou Project Zero)- 185 votes
25th: Toujou Ayumu- 133 votes.
26th: Sarutobi Ayame (Sacchan)- 122 Votes.
27th: Terakado Tsuu- 121 Votes
28th: Abuto- 113 votes (TN- You serious?! He's freakin' Abuto!!)
29th: Hata Ouji- 111 votes.
30th: Nakamura Kyoujiro- 107 votes.
31st: Mutsu- 107 votes.
32nd: Kanemaru-kun- 89 votes.
33rd: Matsudaira Katakuriko- 86 votes.
34th: Takatin- 83 votes.
35th: Umibozu- 82 votes.
36th: Hedoro 82 votes.
37th: Otose-san- 74 votes.
38th: KIM (Kimura Chutaro) 69 votes.
39th: Tokogawa Shigeshige- 66th votes
40th: Musashi like person- 63rd place.

(Box beside this- Thanks everyone for your support. Shinpachi's in eighth place again, so I suppose the two of us will have to work really hard to improve. )

003

{Humans are creatures who love rankings.}

{Whether its rankings of who's the richest in the land, how well something is selling, or character standings in Jump, we love sticking a number on everything.}

{For just a moment, we forget our senses and start clawing our way to the top. We become like a pack of kids in school, fighting for supremacy in gym.}

{When one has a look back at rankings after they're taken, it's pretty obvious from the get go who's got what it takes to be on top, and who's destined for the cellar.}

{You can struggle and struggle all you want...}

{But once it's obvious that who's on top and who's going to be on the bottom, there's nothing that'll change.}

{It starts to dawn on one, is there a reason to have these polls? Or even better, a reason to depress others with their results?}

{Is there a reason to even try aspire to something greater?}

004

{Do we really need...}

{Character popularity polls?}

{For a few seconds of the limelight in the eyes of the public,}

{Is it really necessary to struggle like this?}

(Side number- 8th place.)

(TN- I'm not writing these again. So scantlators will have to remember that.)

{Is it really necessary for someone like me...}

{Who can't do better than 8th, to exist?}

005
(Sfx- Zatsu Swiff)

Yamazaki: Oh, if it isn't Shinpachi-kun. What are you doing here?

Shiinpachi: Oh 9th----I mean Yamazaki-san.

Yamazaki: Yeah I'm 9th. Go on and say it, I don't really care.

Hows work?

Shinpachi: I didn't feel like going today....

Yamazaki: Oh right. Your buddies are number 1 and 6 aren't they? Well my friends are 2 and 3.

Shinpachi: Oh so you didn't go in either?

Yamazaki: I dunno how to act around those guys right now....heck I don't even know what to say to them....Especially Commanding Officer Okita...

Shinpachi: I want to act like I normally do, but I can't rid myself of this pissed off feeling. I'm afraid that I might snap if I hang around them....

Kagura-chan and Sadaharu were able to improve their ranking a bit.....

I was the only one that didn't improve at all.

Yamazaki: That's not so bad....not changing that is...

See, I dropped.

(Handwritten- I wonder if it had to do with that Mohawk I had for a few chapters....)

Shinpachi: Ah...sorry to hear about that.....

Yamazaki: Oh nah, it's no big deal...I'm not bothered by it.

I'm pretty sure I didn't belong there on the last poll either, after all I do all the dirty work for our black hearted organization..

(Sfx- Zaaaaah ssssssh)

Shinpachi: I—I'm sure that's not it at all! Compared to me who doesn't do anything...

If they introduce a bunch of new characters....then I....

006

Shinpachi: Ah....

I wonder if I did something wrong....?

Yamazaki: Nah...I don't think that's it...

I don't think we did anything wrong, as much as the fact that we don't do much at all.

See, we don't really add to much to the story....we don't have a 'hook' like the other guys do.

It really has nothing to do with whether we're good or evil.

Shinpachi: Ah...Yeah we don't have a hook....Oh sorry, I didn't mean to say 'we'...

Yamazaki: Nah, it's fine. For today it's all good.

Shinpachi: But not being interesting enough to have a hook,

To be honest, I'm kind of fed up with the whole thing.

I wonder just what the heck have I been doing up until now...

Even Bandai and Namco are laughing at me behind my back....

If I don't do better in the popularity polls, They're going to keep skipping over me when it comes to merchandising....heh....

It's like I'm fighting against him, fighting to the death for just a little bit of attention....

Yamazaki: You know Shinpachi-kun, being 8th or 9th isn't such a big deal.

007

Yamazaki: Maybe the 8th and 9th spot are for us plain characters.

That in turn would make you number 1 right?

Shinpachi: Yamazaki-san....

Yamazaki: The others are all close to the 1 and 2 spots aren't they? However, if you think that you're wrong.

But you realize, they only get to look cool because us ordinary guys help them get that way.

If they're the flowers, we're the soil that they're planted into, and every flower needs soil.

Maybe we'll never be number one in the character popularity polls...

But we're number one when it comes to being their stepladders to the top.

Show pride in your role,
And work hard to make sure you fufill it.

Shinpachi: Yamazaki-san....

Yamazaki-san, you're so much more mature than me....

008

Yamazaki: I'm not mature at all.

I'm the same as you are.

I tried so hard to be a great character....

I thought I'd go up one....

Shinpachi: Yamazaki-san?

Yamazaki: Wha...this is weird...

I was thinking of giving up a while ago....

So How did things turn out like this...

I'm sorry!!

(Sfx- datsu dash)

009

(Sfx- Gyaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!)

Shinpachi: Ya---

YAMAZAKI-SSAAAAAAN!!!

H—Hang in there Yamazaki-san!!

Wh—What happened to you?!

010

{Yamazaki's character ranking....}

(Sfx- Piii piii beep beep)

{It's accelerating downward!!}

{Could it be that his shameful state of undress is...}

{Causing his popularity to drop?!}

Yamazaki: There's someone....

Who refuses to accept the ranking....

Hiding out there......

(Sfx- Uuuhhh)

Yamazaki: Hurry up and get out of here..

Tha—That person...

Plans on changing the poll results....

According to their will, even if it's by force.....

011

Shinpachi: Wh—What do you mean?!

Yamazaki: Hurry....

While you're in 8th place....

You're the only one who can protect it...

The ranking....

For us normies.....

(Sfx- Dosa thud)

Shinpachi: Ya...mazaki-san?

YAMA 136th place ZAKI-SAAAAAN!!!!

(Sfx- Datsu dasssh)

012

{N—No way...!!}

{There's someone trying to change the character poll results now?!}

{But they've already published the center color page announcing everything!!}

{What's the point of trying to change things now?!}

{For now I have to warn everyone that they're in trouble!!}

{But who's the criminal?! Who would want to do this....?}

{Wait...If they depanced Yamazaki-san, and destroyed his ranking...}

{This person would have to be below him!}

{Damn! There are too many people!!}

{Who can I trust now?!?}

013

{Th---}

{That's....}

{25th place....}

{Sacchan-san!!}

{Why is she here?}

{Wait, could she be the one behind this?!}

Sacchan: So you're upset with the fact that your ranking dropped in the polls, and want to do something about those above you?

{The Criminal?! She's talking to the criminal?!}

{Who is it?}

Sacchan: You know that the people below you won't be happy about this right?

{Who could it....}

014

Tae: Sarutobi-san...

Please stop babbling on about nonsensical things.

(Sfx- Zaaan)

Tae: Please don't tell me that THIS is the reason why you called me out? If so may I please leave?

{S---SISTERRRRR?!?}

(Handwritten- I don't have the time for this.)

Sacchan: Don't play dumb.

You'd love nothing more than to get a better rank.

Tae: That could be said for yourself too.

If anything you should learn your place.

But that's just how it goes for you doesn't it, so there's no meaning of trying~

Oh I'm sorry to hear that the Justaway has always outranked you....

But don't get depressed about it. I'm sure people like you, but you haven't had any chances to appear lately.

But neither has the Justaway has it? So why are you still below it in the ranking?

015

Sacchan: W-While it may be true that I haven't appeared lately, I'm always finishing first with Gin-san in my dreams.

But more importantly, Otae-san, while you've had more appearances than myself,

You've been soundly defeated by a double gorilla attack.

Are those your pets? You lost a ranking to your pets?

You should totally start a band, and call it Triple Gorilla. That way all of you primates will always have each other.

Tae: Hey, you'd better take that back...

Don't compare me with those creatures.

(Sfx- Piku piku throb throb)

{I'm getting a really bad feeling from this...}

Sacchan: Calling the Author a creature? That's not nice Otae-san.

If you keep that up, he'll probably ignore you for the rest of the year, and I don't see you being good at an abandonment play tehehehe....

{But you're the one who called the two of them the 'Double Gorilla' band!!}
Tae: How about I make this your FINAL appearance you wench?!

(Sfx- Datsu dash)

Sacchan: I'd like to see you try! With you out of the way, maybe I'd appear more! Gorilla hussy!!

Shinpachi: Sister!!

Stop it!!

(Sfx- Basaaa shffft)

016

(Sfx- Gakiiiiiin twaannnnng)

Kyuubee: That's enough,

both of you.

(Sfx- Para para clatter clatter)

Shinpachi: Kyuubee-san!!

Kyuubee: Even if the two of you fight amongst yourselves,

It won't change your ranking for the better. If I may be so rude to suggest this, we should be trying to find out why we were ranked as we are in the first place.

{That's it! There's no point in fighting over this!!}

Kyuubee: We should draft up emergency maneuvers right away.

{Yes! Thats good! At least now I can rest assured that the criminal isn't with them, So I should go and..}

017

Kyuubee: While everyone is still reeling, we should take advantage of their confusion,

Invade the castle of those who are higher up, and abdicate the throne from them!

(Sfx- Gagatsu fwisssh)

{WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!}

Tae: W—Wait Kyuu-chan, are you serious?

Kyuubee: I know this sounds a bit hasty, but I have to...

I can't allow myself to have a higher ranking than you Otae-chan!

(Handwritten- I don't care what happens after that!!)

{She may not be the criminal in this case, but she sure THINKS like one!!}

Kyuubee: Listen. The basis for battle is 'he who attacks first wins.'

With that in mind, we have to attack the superiors while they are overjoyed with their position, and therefore unguarded.

While they have their backs turned, we have to attack....we have no other chance but that.

Sacchan: While that sounds nice and everything, You've got the highest ranking out of the three of us. Even if you reach the top, it's not over.

(Sfx- Basaan fwip)

Kyuubee: If that time should come, I'll gladly die by my own sword.

{ARE YOU SERIOUSLY BETTING YOUR LIFE ON A CHARACTER POPULARITY POLL?!}

018

Tae: There's no need for you to do that Kyuu-chan.

We don't need to conquer the top. If we could crack the top ten, that would be good enough.

Shinpachi: You're trying to kill the guys in a higher position, aren't you sister?!?

Sacchan: Yes, Gin-san is at the top, so If we could destroy those around the 8th place that would be fine.

Shinpachi: So now my position's been threatened too!! I'm just barely in their crosshairs aren't I?!

Tae: But Sadaharu-kun and Kagura-chan are there....

{What about meeee?!}

Tae: Maybe we shouldn't do this....

{That's right! Don't worry about your ranking! Just think peaceful thoughts!}

???: Huh?

Who's she?

Tae: Tsukuyo? Who the heck is that? Why is she so much higher than the rest of us?

Sacchan: Look Tae-chan, she's two places higher then the 10 spot we were aiming for.

Tae: Oooh? She's actually rather cute looking too.

Sacchan: Maybe a little, but look! She's got scars and a pipe! Isn't she just an object of lust?!

019

Kyuubee: Toujou researched this for me...she speaks with a drawl like 'Yall' and such.

Sacchan: 'Yall'?! What the heck is wrong with this chick?! Otae-chan, what's so great about her!!

Tae: Oh my, She's got a unique character too. And that accent makes her stand out~

{Ah...Is it just me, or do they seem to be getting angrier....}

Kyuubee: Toujou also found out that Gintoki felt up her busts.

Sacchan: WHAAAAAAT?! Using 'Yall' and then trying to take him away?! DOES SHE THINK I'LL LET HER GET AWAY WITH THIS?!

Tae: Ooh? So Gin-san's been running away to see her lately?

She must be some sort of Maneater or something like that.

{I feel a disturbance of a female nature going on here...}

Sacchan: THAT'S RIGHT! A MANEATER!!

Tae: Yes, that's it. She looks like the type of woman that has nothing other than her face~ poor thing.

Kyuubee: So this is what is known as a maneater....hmm...

{Why the heck are three women talking about maneaters so openly?!? Stop it!! When women get together like this, it never spells out anything good!!}

Kyuubee: I should also point out that during his research, Tojou found that she'll get most of volume 30 to herself.

Tae: Reaallly~

That's good, cause after volume 30, she's never going to appear again~~.

{SISSSSTEEEEERRR?!?! SACCHAAAAAAN?!?!?!}

020

{SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THEEEEM!!!}

Kyuubee: Okay then, let's start our attack on her shall we?
Where are you going Tae-chan?

Tae: I'll leave you two to take care of that woman. I'm going to take care of this at the source.

Kyuubee: The source?

Tae: It seems like the amount of female characters is getting a little too high doesn't it?

I'll go annihilate Gorilla #15 to solve this problem.

{NOT GORILLA #15!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! KILL HIM AND IT'S GAME OVER FOR GINTAMA!!!}

(Sfx- Datsu dash)

{This is bad!! Really really bad!}

{Crap!! I'm totally outnumbered here!! The criminal could be any one of these egotistical idiots!!}

{WHAT DO I DO?! WHO'S GOT THE POWER TO STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING?!}

{In this situation, the one person I can trust is the one at the very top...!!}

021

{Number 1!!}

{I have no choice but to rely on himmm!!}

(Sfx- Gunyuuu droooop)

{What?!}

{What is this?! Something's happening.....}

{The manga's become....gooey....}

{What the...}

(Sfx- Bussun bsssht)

{Wait....no way.....}

{SORACHI'S BEEN....}

{RUBBED OUTTTTTT?!?!}

(Side text- MR. HIDEAKIIIIIIIIIIII!!!}

GINTAMA LESSSON 256.............END.

{Next issue- A huge and bloody war!!?! What'll happen to the manuscript?! To Shinpachi?! And who's the criminal?!}