Gintama 266

Ahah, this one was great. Just great. The only way it could get better is if Sakamoto gets involved somehow.....

{Take it away Binktopia!~}

{Last time on Gintama: After passing four years, Gintama had character popularity poll. All seemed well, that is until someone beneath Sagaru Yamazaki decided that they were not happy with their position, and took strides to change the ranking by force. The female characters of Gintama were also less than pleased with their rankings and plotted to strike back against #15, Sorachi Hidaki...in an assassination attempt. It goes without saying that the culprit would be aiming for the number one spot soon, and the rush begins! However before anyone could do anything, the manga artist disapeared, and as of now Gintama's status looks bleak....}

(Side text- Wake up Mr. Hideaki!!)

GINTAMA.

(Sfx- Jiji jijiji tptptptptp)

{Oh good! Looks like the background has returned to normal.}

{I guess Gorilla #15 was only out of commission for a week!}

{What a relief, If the manga artist had died, our series would have been over with.}

{In any case, I have to find Gin-san quickly.}

002

{So that we can do something about the character poll...no...this beautiful yet hideous world.}

{We won't let those bastards do whatever they want anymore.}

{Sfx- Biri biri rip rip rip)

(Sfx- Bari bari rip rip)

{NOW ITS ON DARK GENERAL IYASUUUU!!}

GINTAMA.

(Side text- There's still light within this hero!!}

Lesson 266: So Long buddy.....

Manga by: CYBORG SORACHI.
Written by: GUDONSON.

(TN- Gudonson is supposed to be a play on Buronson who writes for the 'Hokuto no Ken' (Fist of the North Star) Series.....which Shinpachi is obviously parodying here.)

003

{….What the hell is this?! Why did the flow of the manga change so dramatically?!?}

{Who the hell is Cyborg Sorachi?! And where did Gudonson come from?! More specifically, who the hell is the Dark General Iyasu?!?}

(Side text- With one cup of Oil, he produces a marvelous manuscript!! You can only read Cyborg-Sorachi sensei's manga in Shounen Jump!!)

{He can produce manuscripts if he's given oil?!? The author's completely become a cyborg hasn't he?! Instead of coming back to life, he's been transformed into another being!! And along with his transformation, the manga has changed too!}

{There's no manga like this being serialized!! Gudonson-sensei, I appreciate you trying to help with the manga, but have you even READ Gintama before?! You should research the manga you're helping out on, before writing a scenario!!!}

{What?! The pictures are changing again?!}

{Have the artist for this manga, and the original artist started to fight for supremacy over Gintama?!}

{Hey!! Stop itttttt!! Can't you guys just get along?! Think about us down here on the page!!}

{What the hell is the editor doing?!}

{Does he have any damn common sense?! If the current artist and the original artist are fighting, shouldn't he step in and do something about this?! He has to mediate their meeting dammit!! This kind of direct competition doesn't work!! Do you think that this is Bakuman?!}

{Ah...}

004

{GAME OVER MAN!!! GAME OVVEERRRR!!}

{What'll I do?! We can't just end this lesson with a few pages like this!! We've still got to trudge through fifteen more!! What do I doooo?!}

(Side text- Gudonson-sensei has been replaced indefinitely!! Good luck!! We're depending on you guys to cheer on the newly depressed Cyborg Sorachi-sensei!)

(Sfx- Patsu pop)

{W—We're back to normal!!}

{Awesome!! I guess that Cyborg and Gudonson managed to settle things!! Great work everyone!!}

{Great, now that it's been fixed...}

Shinpachi: Hm? (Reading text on right.)

{GUDONSON-SENSEIIIIIIIIII!!!}

{HE'S BEEN ANNIHALATED?!?!? THE CYBORG KILLED YOUUUUU?!?!?!}

005

(Side text- And now let 'Gintama' Begin~!)

GINTAMA
Lesson 266: Character popularity polls should burn in hell until they're ash.
BACK FROM THE DEPTHS SORACHI HIDEAKI.

Shinpachi: Gin-saaaan!!!

We've got trouble!!

(Sfx- Kan kan tap tap)

Shinpachi: It's really bad Gin-san!!

Gudonson-sensei is....!!

(Sfx- Gararara clattter)

Shinpachi: Gin-sa---

006

(Sfx- Baaaaaaan fwissssssh)

{A---Am I too late?!?}

{It looks like the aftermath of a surprise attack.}

{But wait, nothing has happened to me yet, so Gin-san and the others should be okay.}

{So who did all of this....}

???: It's 8th place.

Look, 8th place is here.

{That's right...}

{The culprit just wants to change his or her ranking...}

{So he doesn't give a damn about who he attacks...}

{As long as his or her rank rises.}

007

{Which is to say, anyone who's rank is lower than mine...}

{Is our enemy!!}

Otose: Come down here Shinpachi.....

We're waiting for you, along with your ranking....

Shinpachi: …..N---No thanks.

(Sfx- Gasshiiii fwooosh)

(Sfx-Bata bata shiver shiver)

Guy: Hey! He's running! Get him!!!

008

Catherine: You think you're big stuff since you're a SINGLE digit don't you turd?!

Otose: After him at once!!!

{GYAHHHHHH!!!}

(Sfx- Dododododo Tmptmptmptmp)

{I can't get anywhere in a situation like this!!}

{Everyone in the city is after my head!!}

(Sfx- Gashiii krnnch)

(Sfx- Doshaaa Thuud.)

Shinpachi: Guh!!

Guy: I saw him fall over here!!!

{It's no good!!}

{I can't escape them!!}

009

Shinpachi: Gah!!

(Sfx- Bata bata tmp tmp)

Katherine: H—He's gone?!

Find him!

Look for him and drag his smelly ass out here!!

Guys: Yes ma'm!!

(Sfx- Hah hah zeh)

???: Is he okay?

Okita: Looks like it to me.

010

Shinpachi: Gin-san!!

Okita-San!!

Gintoki: Shut your pie-hole!! Do you want those idiots to hear us?!

Okita: You're pretty loud too boss.

Shinpachi: Wh—Why Are you guys horded up in a place like this?

Gintoki: I think that's obvious if you open the window and had a look.

There's no one to trust at a time like this is there?

(Handwritten- Not like you can trust these guys normally anyway, but it's even worse with the second poll out.)

Okita: Coincidentally, We were running away from the townsfolk, and and we happened to meet up with you guys.

Well I guess it makes sense, since the boss is #1.

Although let's not forget another untrustworthy person here.

Shinpachi: Kagura-chan!

Kagura: What did you say? You are trying to get close to Gin-chan. You want to take his position away do you not?!

Okita: Keep your shirt on. I have no interest in someone who just BARELY made a six place ranking.
(Sfx- Nijiri glaaare)

Kagura: This is good. If you should once hesitate, I will take your position #2. I will always be watching for your weakness.

Gintoki: Okay kids, knock it off.

011

Hijikata: For godssake. Who gives a damn about the character poll anyway? Only idiots with nothing to do even bother with this crap.

Why the hell do I have to be here? I'm perfectly fine with being 3rd or whatever.

Shinpachi: Hijikata-san!!

Okita: Okay. You go wait outside Hijikata-san.

(Sfx- Dogan twok)

Gintoki: You'll do fine out there I bet. You seem like the kind of guy who gives his underwear a ranking.

Hijikata: DON'T SCREW WITH ME!!! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!!

Gintoki: If you want back in, you have to say the password. 'I relinquish my third place ranking, because I'm a loser.' If you do that, I'll let you back in.

Okita: Go on Hijikata, Say it. Say it loud and say it proud.

(Sfx- Dan dan bam bam)

(Sfx- Gacha gacha clatter chatter.)

Hijikata: DOES THE DYNAMIC SADISIC DUO WANT TO DIE?!

???: Hahaha, you guys are pretty sad. You're really letting this whole popularity poll get under your skin aren't you?

(Handwritten- Okay okay! I'm sorry!!)

(Sfx- Don don Bam bam)

(Handwritten- I'll be happy to hand over the 3rd place spot!!)

(Sfx- Don don bam bam)

???: Older guys like us have no need to worry about being first or second.

???: Seriously. You guys should take an example from us adults and chill.

I'm perfectly find with being where I am. Being first seems like a big hassle if you ask me.

???: Yep. If it's going to give me nothing but problems, what's the point of getting a higher ranking?

Honestly, all this struggling isn't my style.

012

Takagawa: I'm SO glad we don't care about those things.

Seriously, what good comes from worrying about your ranking? That's why I play it cool.

Kagudo: I have no interest in moving up at all! I'm fine where I am.

If you think I'm going to do anything stupid just to improve my ranking, you're foolish.

You all should stop trying to act cool and accept reality.

Even if you sit and start picking fights with each other, It's already too late to change the outcome.

Besides, watching you guys argue over something that you can't change for is pissing me off.

Kagudo: It is almost like being higher in the poll has brought you less happiness.

Shinpachi: I see that you guys don't quite understand why your positions weren't very high.

four for example is actually a really important character for the plot. He's not just some weirdo wearing a bandage you know...he's still very necessary.

Takagawa: No no, I don't want to be that guy, I just had pink eye all of a sudden.

Kagudo: And # 7...is this Kagura-chan's older brother. He's important too you know? That's why he jumped all the way up to seven.

It's cause he's a bad guy you know? Not just because he has fancy Chinese clothes.

Kondo: Well no, I just thought I should get a change of pace and wear a Chinese girl's outfit to HQ today.

013

Shinpachi: Maybe you guys don't realize how positively annoying you are.

???: We just feel like we're not featured enough.

It's like some characters are destined for those spots, and there's nothing we can do about it.

Although it's not like I care about something so stupidly childish.

I was just trying to give a few pointers on how to run this series, but apparently you guys like the idea of crashing and burning.

Shinpachi: Stop that. Now.

Katsura: Ripping off spots here, or ripping them off there..

(Sfx- Gacha clack)

Katsura: Even going as far as trying to steal my spot....

Isn't that the reason you've got me chained up here?

How many times must I tell them? The Patriots have no relationship with the Shinsengumi. So why are continuously lumped together?

Why don't you fools understand what's going on here?

Why are these handcuffs so uncomfortable?

Shinpachi: Katsura-an?!

Katsura: You fools are just afraid of being pawns of the Tiger aren't you?

Hmph. I suppose that makes sense, since you are only the dogs for the Bakfu.

Shinpachi: Katsura-san, so they're the ones who beat you up?

Katsura: It's quickly becoming impossible to differentiate between friend in foe, now that everyone has desire for being on the top.

014

Katsura: It's getting harder and harder to find peace in this world....I wonder if there's a peaceful refuge at all anymore?

(Sfx- Chriin jiiingle)

Shinpachi: ….Katsura-san....why is it when you speak of peace, the image you think of seems...less than peaceful? Do you equate peace with riding a bike through a Safari-park....inside of the gates? Have you done something like that lately?

Katsura: I suppose it would turn into a nightmare very quickly if those beasts were to mistake me for their dinner....ugh....

Gintoki: 'Ugh' my ass you idiot. You've probably done something like that before haven't you?

Katsura: Of course not. I'd never do something like that. What I think you and the rest of these fools should do is ride through the park with a hunk of meat strapped to your backs.

???: You should just die. Forget about the character polls, and die in an unrelated incident.

Shinpachi: Moreover, where's Elizabeth-san?

Don't tell me she ran away and abandoned you...?

(Sfx- Doka dokakagoooo doof doof whack)

(Sfx- Gaggo dooof)

(Sfx- Gagogogo gagoo doff smack bam)

015

(Sfx- Dogooodogooo thwak twak)

(Sfx- gagooo ddoof)

Shinpachi: …...

Um...guys, I think I saw something that I shouldn't have seen....

(Sfx- Yoro wobble)

Shinpachi: I mean, there's no way that one mascot is beating the crap out of another right? That can't happen right?

(Handwritten- He's standing right over her too....)

Gintoki: Well, it's not so bad. Everyone in this room is above position twenty.

So there's a pretty low chance that we'll betray each other for the top.

Shinpachi: I wouldn't be so sure. Everyone here hates each other enough to stab each other in the back for the simplest reason.

Gintoki: For now, we'll just seek refuge in this hotel.

I know the guy who runs this place, so he won't try anything funny. We can rest easy while we wait here.

We'll wait till the townspeople have calmed down a little bit.

016

Hijikata: Calmed down? Can you even guarantee that they will?
How do you know we won't be here forever?

How do you know that those guys won't remember this incident as soon as we step out in public? Are we going to be ducking into hotels and avoiding disgusted townspeople for the rest of our lives?

Shinpachi: Hijikata-san, the popularity results were the efforts of lots of people coming in to vote for us.

Don't you think that acting out of our own self interests is a little selfish?

It's our duty to protect the position that the people gave us.

If all of the readers took the time out to vote for the positions we have,

Then we have to accept where we are, and for their sake protect it.

Gintoki: I expected someone that could only get eighth to say something like that. You have no pride in yourself whatsoever do you? If you keep acting that way, you'll never get any higher.

But to be honest, man it must suck to be stuck in such a lame position.

Listen. Let me take care of this for you. I won't let them think badly of you any more.

Shinpachi: That's NOT what I meant!!

I was a bit annoyed at first...

And I thought these character polls were a waste of time....

But I promised Yamazaki-san....

017

{Only you can protect it...our ranking....}

{The ranking for us normies....}

Shinpachi: My name...'Shinpachi'

Has a 'Pachi' in it for eighth.

(TN- Might be a pun on his name...Shinpachi means 'new eight.')

Shinpachi: Everyone....

You will protect them right?

Your position.

And your roles...

If we work together we can do it....

I know we can....

018

Hijikata: Of course we can.

After all, our position is like a castle right?

Who the hell's gonna let their castle get sieged?

As long as you fortify your castle from the inside and out from the beginning,

There's no way it'll be destroyed during battle.

Even if it's betrayed.

Gintoki: Hmph.

Back at you.

019

Shinpachi: I guess you're right Gin-san. We should be safe here for a while.

Gintoki: Yep. And I have to say Shinpachi, that was some nice acting.

Shinpachi: What?

Okita: Hijikata-san, you've completely gained their trust haven't you?

Kondo: Huh? Gained their trust...? What do you mean?

Gintoki/Hijikata: It's obvious isn't it?

We're going to kick them out of their positions, and then monopolize the top!!

(Side text- And a new flame burns!! The battle starts from here...!!)

GINTAMA LESSON 266.................END.