Gintama 269

See, Sorachi's much better than Togashi. He's OBVIOUSLY a hardcore gamer, but he still gets Gintama out every week. (He's only taken two breaks since Gintama began in 2004!) Too bad he seems to be into RPG sized text....

EDIT- Turns out Binktopia has to drop the project. ^^;; Not surprising, since I wonder how the hell I do this every week. The good news is that Gintama's back to being a 'whomever is stupid//insane//nice enough// to scan this' series! So all you scantlators who have had a hole in your life since I announced the series as Binktopia exclusive now have something to do again! I look forward to your work, ladies and gentlemen!

(Top text- Pick up some summer reading!! Volumes 1~29 are now out in stores!)

(Side text- A heat wave!!)

(Sfx- Miin miiin ree ree)

GINTAMA

Gintoki: It's da~mn hot....

Cut me some slack will ya~

Why the hell do we have to wear these outfits during a killer heat wave like ths?!

These pants are sticking to my ass. I think we're merging into one.

Soon we'll be Gintopants, or Pantoki.

(Sfx-Gapo gapo *clatter clatter.)

Shinpachi: There's no way around it, the work order came from a pretty affluent customer.

Would you rather he kill us or the heat?

(Handwritten- I like this! I do not need an umbrella! So Happy!)

002

Gintoki: Exterminating a bee's nest....

The hell is he thinking, giving us such a mundane job today of all days? It's so hot that I think I'm crying.

He can't handle this himself? Guys, I hate to break it to you, but we may be up against a hornet.

Shinpachi: It'll be okay. We've got these on to protect us.

Gintoki: You don't want to underestimate the queen hornet. she's been hot stuff since she debuted in High school as most likely to succeed.

And if you mess with her house, she'll turn on you like quick man.

She doesn't give a crap if it's the other students in the class...she'll sting right through them if they get in her way.

Oh and don't get me started on how much of a drama queen she is. Did you know she eats the bodies of the other dead students?

Doesn't she just sound like a demon? That's why you should stay far away from Miss Hornet. She's not good for you.

Come on guys, it's not too late. We can still buy some booze and get tossed.

Kagura: You are pathetic! It is just a bee yes?

We are bigger than it. A Hornet is no big matter.

Shinpachi: Yeah! And if worse comes to worse, we've got these outfits on to protect us.

Guy: Oh! You're finally here Yorozuya-san! Please, right this way.

Shinpachi: Sorry to keep you waiting sir.

003

(Top text- Gintama's Jump Anime Tour 2005 and 2008 Specials are finally on DVD! Pick your copy up on September 30th!!)

Guy: It's right over here.

(Side text- Ginormous!!)

Guy: Are there even enough hours in the day to make something this huge...?

GINTAMA
SORACHI HIDEAKI
Lesson 269: It's only a superstition that bees stings go away when you piss on them. In reality it's just a great way to get germs, so be careful!!

Gintoki: Okay, lets take care of that Hornet's nest for ya sir.

(Sfx- Gashii psssshhht)

Gintoki: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! ARE YOU SURE THAT'S NOT A SALAMANDER NEST?!

THERE CAN'T BE A BEE THAT FRIGGIN' BIG!!

THA T JUST LOOKS LIKE THE BIRTHPLACE FOR AN ALIEN DOESN'T IT?! MORE LIKE...WHY'D YOU WAIT FOR IT TO GET THIS BAD BEFORE CALLING SOMEONE?!

005

Guy: I'm sorry really! There wasn't anything there yesterday....

This thing literally sprung up over night. But I'm positive that we're dealing with hornets here. Take my word for it!

Gintoki: In what world can something like THAT happen over night?!

Is the queen a workaholic or something? This is an open violation of the labor standards act dammit!

Kagura: You should not speak of labor standards.

Shinpachi: Um Mr. Priest? I'm sorry to inform you, but this can't be of an Earth origin. It had to have come from somewhere else. It's probably really dangerous to get near it...

Priest: But you have to do something for us....I mean isn't this kind of thing up your line of work?

We're not really too into taking life you know.

Gintoki: But it's fine if people like us die huh? Gonna burn us along with the Salamanders huh?

Priest: Seriously, if you guys don't take care of this, the neighbors will complain.

Here, how about we give you guys a hand......in prayer?

Gintoki: AND SHOWING UP IN RIOT GEAR IS A GOOD OMEN!?

(Handwritten- Namu Myouhou Rengekyou.....)

(TN- Litterally means 'Glory to the Sutra, or Hail Lotus sutra”)

Priest: He's not diggin' it yall. Try layin' down some phat beats.

Just lay a base line down, and I'll take care of the rest.

Gintoki: Hey! Quit ignoring me!!

(Sfx- Zaza swiff)

Shinpachi: ….What should we do? They're like a broken cassette tape....

Gintoki: We're outta here. They've got to be kidding if they think we're going to take on Mothra on our own.

These outfits aren't going to protect us from whatever made THAT.

(Sfx- Karan clatter)

Shinpachi: But If we just leave, what'll happen to the priests here?

Gintoki: They'll be okay. Bees and Priests get along fine. I saw it in 'that Magazine manga... 'Buzz bee.'

Shinpachi: No...that's 'Boys Be'

(TN- Shounen Magazine manga that ran from 1991-1997 and then again from 1997-2000.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boys_Be)
Gintoki: Doesn't matter what it's called. It's just a manga about the stinger between the legs.

(Sfx- Zun zun tmp tmp)

005

(Sfx- Dogoooooo twhoooook)

(Sfx- Gagooooooo Thuuuuuud)

(Sfx- Para para clatter clatter)

Kagura: It is complete.

006

Kagura: What are you two doing?

Gin-chan?

Shinpachi?

Gintoki: Don't talk to meeeee!! I don't know you!! Why the hell would that fool destroy the whole web like that?! It won't be long before they come at once to sting us to death!!

Shinpachi: Gin-saaaan!! I don't want to be stung to death!! I can't really hear you, but we'll be okay right? We're cool if we stay like this right?!

Gintoki: Quit talking to me!! Do you want to die?!

While you've been going on and on about yourself, our customers have all died!!

(Handwritten- Why the hell are those priests so good at this?! They've even got blood running down their mouths like real corpses!!)

(Sfx- suu pop)

(Handwritten- Flower)

(Sfx- Gan * Pop*)

(Sfx- Gorogoro roollll)

(Sfx- Basaaa dssshhh)

(Sfx- Futsu futsu phooo phooo)

(Sfx- Buchi buchi fwish fwish)

007

Shinpachi: It's strangely....quiet....

(Sfx- Hah hah hah)

Kagura: Gin-chan, what should I do?

Gintoki: Huh? There doesn't seem to be a single living thing in there...

Kagura: If you are sleeping you will say something yes~

Shinpachi: She's talking to them like it's no big deal.....if they were in there, they'd fly out in rage right?

Gintoki: Looks like things are fine.....

Maybe it was just a hollowed out shell, and the bees left a while ago?

Shinpachi: Hm?

Gintoki: I mean, there's no way that normal bees would be able to make something so huge right?

Shinpachi: Then....what the heck is this thing?

Gintoki: Probably some punk's prank or something. Come to think of it, those priests could have set this up. They may not look it, but they're just as evil as the rest of us.

Yeah, I'm SURE it was their doing.

DO YOU THINK WE CAME OUT ON THIS HOT ASS DAY TO PLAY AROUND?!

WE'VE GOT THINGS TOO DO TO YOU KNOW!!!

(Sfx- Gan gan gan gan kick kick kick)

008

(Sfx- Uiiiin veeeeen)

(Sfx- Uiiiin veeeen)

(Handwritten- Gahhhhh....)

Bee: 'The hell ya doin bro?

(Sfx- Gan gan kick kick)

(Sfx- Pan smack)

Shinpachi: Nothing....

Bee: Nothin' my ass.

Gintoki: Uh...listen, we're really sorry you know? We didn't think anyone was in....

Bee: Ooh? You didn't think anyone was in huh? What are ya, retarded? You kick a hornet's nest and don't expect no one to be in?

Gintoki: Oh? This is a nest? I had no idea! Wow!

Lil' B: Hey Bro!! The support is busted!!

Gintoki: Wait a second! I didn't do anything!! That was her...

Lil' B: I'll bet it was you guys that caused that earthquake just now right?!

009

Bee: I'm gonna need you to step into my office bro.

Gintoki: W—Wait a second, you've got the wrong guy...

Kagura: Pardon my intrusion.

Gintoki: Pardon my foot!! Who do you think got us into this mess?!

(Top Banner- We love makin the honey.)

(Side banner- Exceed today's goals.)

(Handwritten- More Honey here please~)

Bee: Lemmie introduce myself. I'm the boss of Planet Royal Jelly Hachi.

Lil B: You ain't gonna be able to settle this with cash ya dumbasses! You've done more than break one or two threads!!

Gintoki: Look, we're really sorry about that.

But um..you do know on this planet that kicking things is our custom right?

We're not used to seeing bees nests being used as things such as...safety shelters and the like...

So although we're completely in the wrong, we didn't mean any harm to you or your fine organization sir....

Hachi: Whazzat? You're trying to tell me that kicking in people's hard work is a custom here?

Gintoki: Sort of? Listen, if you move to a remote area, I can promise that something like this won't happen again....

010

Hachi: Ya don't say...well I'm glad ya came in to talk to me about yer Earth customs.

I had no idea that you guys were so damned Violent. You guys are almost as bad as the Yakuza....

Man' Earth is one seriously f'ed up place~~

But yanno, I'm not really mad about the nest or nothin like that.

Cause fixin' it up like brand new ain't really no skin off my back.

But there's somethin' else we gotta address before we head back into the earth bro.

(Sfx- Zuuuu siffff)

Hachi: That earthquake....

Caused our Queen...

To end up with a nasty head injury, knawhatimean?

The shelf drawers and the QS3 fell...

And we had to travel so far to find the QS yanno....

011

Lil B: What're we gonna doooooo?!

We're nuttin without our Queen dammittt!!!

If our Queen dies without namin' her son....

It's tha same as destroying our planet!!

(Sfx- Gaku gaku shiver shiver)

(Sfx- Buru buru wibble wibble)

Lil B: I'll KEEL you bastards!!!

It's all your fault dammit!! I oughtaa kick the crap out of ya smelly lil' planet!!

Hachi: Knock it off Riki!!

(Sfx- Shakiiin shiiink)

Riki: Just a minute bro!!

Hachi: You're the one who went to Akiba and bought the damn QS3 didn'tcha?!

Ya should have known somethin' that damn heavy would be dangerous for our queen!! Why didn'tcha get her a QSP instead?!

Riki: I COULD have, but ya had to have that 'Chimikiss' game didn'tcha?!

(TN- Kimikiss, an anime and visual game for PS2.)

Hachi: 'Chimikiss' Is for QS2, man!! They never made one for QS3!! Besides, I ain't interested in pansy stuff like that anyway! It's all about the Hetare gear!!

(TN- Probably metal gear.)

Riki: You're whack bro, Hetare gear is for QS3~

Hachi: Is not! Dammit, there's nothing wrong with Chimikiss! 'Beragami' is freakin' awesome too!

(TN- Beragami....Okami? See, Sorachi's parodies of games are hard to figure out...especially when you're not a gamer like me. >_>)

Kagura: Now now, that is enough.

Here, why not have some honey to drink?

Fighting is no good~!

(Handwritten- I'm sorry...)

Shinpachi: This is BAD....

What'll we do Gin-san?! What'll we do?!

012

Gintoki: U—uh...

There's no need to fly off the handle and destroy this planet...

We get it...We'll do something to help you guys out.

Gintoki: But in exchange, you guys have to quit building nests in areas where people live.

So can you guys keep your stingers on until we do something about the Queen bee?

Hachi: Aiight! If you can do something to bring back our Queen, I'll consider yer deal!!

But if you renege on your part of the deal, you KNOW what'll happen to earth got it?

Shinpachi: Gin-san....what are you going to do?

We've got the fate of the world riding on our shoulders....

Gintoki: Don't worry about it.

Shinpachi: So what will we do?

Gintoki: We'll just find another Queen for them.

Shinpachi: Wha?!

Gintoki: Forgot already?

Priest: This thing literally sprung up over night.

Gintoki: Which means that there has to be more than one of these.

013

(Sfx- Doooon dooom)

Gintoki: So we'll just abduct THEIR queen,

And hand her over to those guys. They can handle the rest.

Shinpachi: Can we really do something like that?! Won't they just get angry and destroy the world when they find out THEIR queen is missing?!

Gintoki: We'll just negotiate our way out using this Honey. Keep your face down and let me do the talking.

Kagura: Okay. I will go now.

(Sfx- Datsu dassh)

Gintoki: Waiiit!!

I brought some honey for you too. Sit down, shut up and drink it in.

Excuse me!! We're here from the Royal Jelly planet to talk to you~!!

Shinpachi: Hm? They don't seem to be home.

Gintoki: You'd think they'd get an intercom at their door or something...

Geez, these guys are nothing but trouble.

You two sit. Put. Especially Kagura. Don't move under ANY circumstances. Pretend you've got a lock around your feet and park it.

(Sfx- Yoishoo hup)

014

(Sfx- Pokiii Spliinter)

(Sfx- Gokuuushaaa doooooffff)

(Sfx- Gorogorogoro rooooooool)

(Sfx- Zugagagagaoshaaa dssssssdoooooom)

(Sfx- Pusu pusu pusu crackle crackle crackle)

015

(Banner- We love flowers.)

(Handwritten- More honey please~)

Bee: Look at what you've done....

To our queen.

Lil B: I'm gonna sting 'em to death!!!

Bee: Calm down! You were the one who bought the ZBOX for her in the first place!!

Lil B: That might be true, but you wanted the ZBOX too!! Didn't you realize how heavy that thing is!! A GS would have done just fine!!

Bee: Yeah bro, but I know that you wanted “Idol Masker' when you bought the thing!

Lil B: Who the hell wants a game like that?! What the hell is Imask?! I want to play 'Gears of God'!!

(TN- Idol MASTER and Gears of WAR.)

Bee: The fact that you call it by it's nick name means you know of it huh?

016

(Sfx- Zazazaza Shifshifshifshif)

Shinpachi: WHAT'LL WE DOOOOO GIN-SANNNN?!

Gintoki: Look for another nest on the double~!!

(Sfx- Gatsu thumph)

(Sfx- Kon thwok)

(Sfx- Dogaraasshaaa craaaaaaash)

(Sfx- Gara gara Clatter catter)

Shinpachi: THIS IS NO GOOD EITHER!!!

Queen: Ugh...

Shinpachi: She's still conscious!!

Wait!! It's because this is a Owee!! This gaming system is lighter than the other two!!

Get a hold of yourself Miss Queen of somewhere!!

Gintoki: C'mon!! We need to take you to another nest!! Don't die on us!! We need you!!

017

(Sfx- Dodododododo doofdoofdoof)

Gintoki: Gwah!!

Hachi: Hah! You guys thought you could hide from us here didjya?!

I've been looking forward to seeing you Royal Pudding guys for a while!!

This is the end of the line for you!!

Queen: Royal Jelly planet!!

You came all the way out here to take my head?!

???: I get it....Looks like we were all looking for the same thing.

???: Royal Yogurt Planet?!

Big bee: Before we level this planet, and wipe out all of the Humans, lets take out some old garbage first!

???: We ain't handin over nuttin to you guys.

???: Ain't no one givin away anything.

Especially not to you guys.

018

Bee: Not the QS 3!!

THE ZBOX!!

NOR THE OWEE!!!

YOU'LL NEVER GET YOUR FILTHY PAWS ON 'EM!!

(Sfx- Gyahhhhh!!!)

(Sfx- Gyooooaaaahhhh)

(Sfx- Guaaaaaah!!!)

019

{That day,}

{We bore witness to the destruction of three worlds.}

{Only we would ever know of their ultimate goal of complete world domination.}

{And we would carry that secret in our hearts forever.}

{Even though nothing would change from their war, the fact is that one life supported so many.}

Priest: 'Sup Yorozuya? I got some phat base lines for ya'll...

Aww man? It's already over?

{We realized that our lives too were irreplaceable, like the stars that support the night sky...}

Gintoki: ...Pray for them.

Priest: Hm?

Gintoki: For their sakes, please pray for them.

{A Prayer for all of the living things in the universe....}

{Na-mu...}

(Sfx- Piko piko click click)

Queen: Have you seen where my worker bees have gone?

Queen 2: I have no idea. I'm busy looking for a Queen Aragosta.....do you want to come?

(TN- I think that's a type of tire....perhaps referring to the game they're playing?)

Queen: Sure, why not?

(Side text- Oh....they're alive?)

GINTAMA LESSON 269....................END.