Gintama 282

Thank kewl for this translation reading as nicely as it should. Thank me for slaving over a hot set of balls to even work this thing out. >_>

Oh and I know this isn't the appropriate time (Although I'm never appropriate.) But I'm dropping Mushibugyo. Ayame for president is doing a great job with it, and I don't think there's a reason for both of us to be doing the same series. So please enjoy his (or her?) work. ^^


GINTAMA

Gintoki: A Woman's heart is like the skies in fall?

(Side text- Men don't need umbrellas!)

Gintoki: I'm pretty sure the guy who said that confused fall skies and pachinko tables.

After hearing Ketsuno Ana's weather report I was in great spirits,

But to be honest, lately her forecasts have been less than sunny...

Maybe as long as the weather is cruddy like this, my luck at the slots won't get any better...

Lady: Um...

Did you forget your umbrella?

If you don't mind....

We can share mine...?

Gintoki: Hm?

Lady: I know a place that sells them...if you'd like we could go there together. It is down by the train station however....

002

Gintoki: Uh...pardon me..?

(Sfx- gatsu tff)

Lady: Here, please take it.

(Sfx- Koto clatter)

Gintoki: Uh...wa--

Wa—Wait up a minute Miss...

Hey.

(Sfx- bacha bacha dshh dssh)

Gintoki: What are you doing...?

Okay, I get it. We'll go together.

So hurry up and take this back...you don't want to catch a cold do you?

Lady: I'm fine, I won't catch a cold.

Gintoki: Yeah right. Now take this back quickly okay?

Lady: I'm fine....I deserve this much.

Gintoki: For doing what? It's the weather that's the problem here, not you.

To be precise, it's more like the weather report that's full of fail....

(Sfx- Basaaa fwap)

Lady: Yes...

It's the weather report that's to blame.

003

Ana: It's me who's to blame.

Gintoki: Ke...Ke...Ke...

TV: Today will be sunny!

Gintoki: Ketsuno...

Ana...

(Sidetext- In the rainy weather, Gin-san comes face to face with his goddess!!)

GINTAMA
Lesson 282: Even Rain is never ending.
SORACHI HIDEAKI.

(Sign- Yorozuya Gin-chan.)

TV: With a demeanor like a gentle breeze in spring, and a smile that is like a cloud parting the skies; and of course her 100 percent penchant for predicting the weather...

It's no surprise that Ketsuno Ana is the weather lady of the people. However lately she has hit a shocking slump. Just what on earth has happened....?

004

News caster: Ketsuno Christelana, has received many complaints about her weather reports being off or flat out wrong lately.

(TN- An offhand reference to Christel Takigawa. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christel_Takigawa)

News Caster: We here at 'Omezame TV' are having a roundtable to discuss just what may be the issue with her.

I've always thought that she was getting over her head.

How in the world could she use fortune telling to make such predictions especially with no data? It's pure nonsense I say.

It is strange, but up until now it's been working. The question is, what has happened to her to cause her forecasts to be so off?

Let's be frank here. The only reason she's gotten this far is her popularity.

And that just comes from her character, more so than her predictions. When you think about it, she just makes generalizations about the forecast, much like a fortuneteller.

It's hearsay, but it seems that her handling of dark horoscopes and other such media has been the reason why she's had such high accuracy.

The Bakfu has employed women in it's care since it first came to protect edo...

(Sfx- Gouuuuu dofff)

(Sfx- Parapara clatter clater)

Gintoki: YOU IDJUTTTS!!! How many times have I told you to turn off the TV when we have customers over?!?

Kagura: This has never stopped you before Gin-chan.

Gintoki: I know NOT of this Gin-chan you speak of. He died in the line of duty somewhere I think. Listen, this isn't the time to start remembering people from the past! If you've got time for that, go get some tea brewing idiot!!

005

Gintoki: Sorry about that, we're a little short handed today...heheh..

(Sfx- Basaaa wifff)

Gintoki: I'm actually the boss of twenty other guys beside these two. You just happened to come in on everyone's day off.

We're only renting this space temporarily. Soon we'll be moving into our six buildings.

Shinpachi: Oh? Six whole buildings....how amazing Gin-san. (Read in monotone.)

Gintoki: GIN-SAN IS DEAD!! Call me President! President!!

Hey Sabastianko, where's that Te—Wine? Bring me something vintage...like from the 40's or something.

(Sfx- Koto clup)

Kagura: This is for you president.

Gintoki: ...And what's this?

Kagura: Milo.

(TN- Milo is a fairly simple chocolate milk mixture.)

Gintoki: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU BRING MILO?! DO YOU THINK THIS IS RECESS?!

Kagura: Milo is good. With it, good children can grow up into good adults.

Gintoki: YOU JUST WANT TO DRINK MILO DON'T YOU?!

Ana: Thank you very much.

Milo's always so very tasty.

(Sfx- Koku clp)

(Sfx- Haah)

Gintoki: YEAH TOTALLY!! Milo's the best~!!

I asked her to make some vintage Milo from the 40's but you know how kids are!

Shinpachi: What's vintage 40's Milo?

(Handwriten- Ahh mild~)

006

Kagura: He is completely gone from us.

Shinpachi: Figures. Gin-san always tunes in to Ketsuno Ana san's weather reports.

Kagura: This is strange. Where did he find her, and what can we do?

Does she expect us to help her change the weather so she is right?

That is too much for even the Yorozuya.


Gintoki: Ketsuno-san, I daresay that I apologize. For the likes of us, changing the weather is out the realm of possibility.

(Sfx- Sukutsu tiff)

Gintoki: There is one thing we can do however....

And that is,

To bring a sunny smile to your cloudy face.

Shinpachi: President, I'm sorry to inform you...but we've never had blinds.

Gintoki: Ketsuno-san, please indulge us with your troubles, so that we may solve them.

Certainly we can get your smile back without fail.

(Handwritten- May I have another? It's so good!)

Shinpachi: She's not listening President. Milo has already brought her smile back.

Ana: I appreciate your feelings...

Just knowing that people still support me despite this situation is fine.

It's all I need.

Just give up on me.....There's no need for a weather lady that can't predict the weather...

007

Shinpachi: Um, If you don't mind me asking...how'd you suddenly lose your ability to predict the weather?

Or no, I should say that your ability to use the horoscope to tell the weather is amazing, but how does it work?

Ana: Really, I don't want to involve you in my problems....it's really nothing to be concerned about.

Gintoki: Something IS happening. Can you please tell us?

Maybe you're right and we can't do much to help you, but at least you'll feel a little bit better after sharing your problems.

Ana: But I don't want to trouble you....this is no simple matter...it's actually somewhat dangerous.

Gintoki: Dangerous? What do you mean? If you tell us, maybe we can take care of it.

Ketsuno Ana, to be frank I don't really care if your forecasts are right or wrong.

I just want you to smile again.

I tune in to the TV station every single day for one reason only, and it has nothing to do with the weather.

It's your smile charged with energy.

Now it's my turn....

To do something for you.

Ana: Can I....really depend on you...?

Gintoki: No need to worry! I'm actually very skilled at troubleshooting.

A little danger is no sweat.

008

(Sfx- Dogoooooo THOOOM)

(Sfx- Gogogogogogo rmmmmmble)

(Sfx- Zuzuunnn dooooom)

(Sfx- Oooooooo fooooooooooshhhh)

009

(Sfx- Hatsu fwiff)

Ana: Che' They found me!

(Sfx- Zuoooooooo foooooooosh)

(Sfx- Batsu fwash)

Ana: Western Sea God, name: Amei. Eastern Sea God, name: Shukuryou,

South Sea God, name: Kyoujyou, and North Sea God, name: Gukyou…

(Sfx- Zauuu ssshhhh)

Ana: May the great gods of the four seas repel the hundred demons and wipe away these forms of evil.

Kyuu Kyuu Nyoritsuryuoo!!

(TN- This phrase means "go quickly as to best to fulfill 'such and such a request'". It is done at the end of a magic incantation done to ward of evil. )

(Sfx- Doooooon thooooooom)

(Sfx- Dopaaan blssssh)

010

(Sfx- gogogogogogo rmmmmmble)

Shinpachi: Uh~um...

Ana: This is what I was talking about.

Are you really okay with this?

Gintoki: Ah—ah...

O—of--of course we are!

Oh! Yeah we're used to this, It's a uh....code 2B I think. .

Everything is A-okay! Not a problem.

Now an A3 would have been a big deal.......

Shinpachi: WE'RE HAVING A PROBLEM NOW!!!

What was that thing?! Who sent it?! Why do we have the weather lady in our house?! WHY IS SHE FIGHTING AGAINST DEMONS?! WHY ARE YOU JUST A SIMPLE WEATHER LADY TO BEGIN WITH?!!?

011

Ana: You know that my weather prediction is done through fortune-telling, yes?

But what I'm capable of isn't limited to simple divination.

You see, the weather lady act is my daytime job....

But I have a different persona once the night comes calling.

I am also known as,

Onmyouji Ketsuno Christel.

(TN- Onmyouji is in essence a Japanese sorcerer or wizard.)

Shinpachi: An....

ONMYOUJI?!

You're, a weather lady during the day, and an Onmyouji at night?!?!

Ana: Yes...

{Since ancient times, the Onmyouji have been connected with religious rituals and the art of fortune telling through their divine power. As such they are experts when it comes to predicting the future.}

{Fortune telling done through calendars, astronomy, geography, allowed foresight and prediction. Not only this, but these sorcerers made natural disasters recede and have the power to make any hindrance to Bushiest practice submit. )

012

Ana: My family has been working under the Bakfu and Tokogawa the Shogun to protect Edo from the very beginning.

We of the Ketsuno clan became known as the Bakfu's most trusted Onmyouji.

Shinpachi: But why is this happening?!? Why would you settle for being a weather lady when you're so awesome?!

More importantly, why the hell are monsters chasing you?!

Ana: My family calls that kind of monster a 'Shikigami.' It's the type of demon that an Onmyouji uses to attack and defend.

(TN- A Shikigami is usually an object summoned to act on someone else's will.)

Ana: The monster can be controlled using this mark here.

Which is to say, that the person that you would be helping me against is a fellow Onmyouji.

And this person is suppressing my ability to read the weather through magic lore…

So much so that they're willing to send Shikigami to take care of me...

Do you understand what I'm getting at?

Someone here in Edo...

Is an Onmyouji wicked enough,

To destroy a poor weather girl for simply doing her job.

013


Caster: And with that said, we're almost out of time for this week. Ketsuno Ana, we're leaving the end of his broadcast to you.

And so, what kind of weather can we expect today?

Ana: For today's weather,

We can expect clear autumn skies.

(Sfx- Gogogogogogo Rmmmmbleee)

(Sfx- Zabaaaaaaaaaaa dsshhhhhhhhh)

(Sfx- Zaaaa slsssssssh)

014

Kagura: It looks like it has gotten really bad…. Gin-chan.

Shinpachi: Who would have thought that Ketsuno Ana is actually an Onmyouji...

Moreover...

She has an enemy out there....

Can we really defeat someone...

Who can summon monsters like that?

Gintoki: I know the 'Ketsuno clan' are the cream of the crop since they work with the Bakfu,

And maybe they train themselves half to death to perfect their Onmyouji powers...

But Ketsuno Ana's better than all of them.

Ya'see, there's a reason why she chooses to be a weatherlady,

And you can figure out the answer if you just give it a bit of thought.

Ana: I don't do what I do for the Shogun or the higher ups...

I...

Use my power for the people.

I want them to be happy.

015

(Sfx- Zatsu Swif)

Gintoki: All right, let's do this shall we?

Shinpachi: Uh, hold on a minute....just where are we?

Gintoki: The Ketsuno clan has a pedigree of being top class right?

But there's got to be at least one person in the family that doesn't like being upstaged by a mere weather lady.

Now if she weren't around, maybe they'd have a chance of improving their own position....

Shinpachi: No way...!!

Gintoki: Let's just cut the chit chat.

There's a hair on the Ketsuno ass, and we've got to pluck it post haste.

(Sfx- Dogaaa thwomp)

Shinpachi: Wait a second Gin-san!! This Is the Ketsuno clan household?!

Do you really think you should kick down an elite Onmyouji's door?!?

(Sfx- Dotsu Dooom)

Ogre: 'The hell you bugs want?

Don't you know that you're on Ketsuno clan property?!

(Sfx- Gooooogogogogo Rmmmmble)

016

Gintoki: I didn't come here to talk to ingrowns.

Bring out the big ass hair.

Don't stand there looking stupid, or are you trying to start something? Huuuh?

Ogres: Why you little...who the hell do you think you're talking to?!

You'd best get going, because once we're done with you, you'll be smears on the ground!!

Shinpachi: GIN-SAAAN!! This is baaad!! They're going to kill us for sure!!

Let's give up and go home!! We need to make a plan for this!!

Gintoki: I've got something up my sleeve, so keep your pants on.

You take care of a Shikigami with a Shikigami. Luckily I have one with me.

(Sfx- Pitsu fwap)

Shinpachi: That's...no way...!!

Gintoki: Ketsuno Ana gave it to me.

This Shikigami has been sealed with her seal....so we just need to free it...

She said that if you apply blood to this pentagram, that forms a contract with the Shikigami, and it'll follow my orders.

Shinpachi: Seriously?!

Gintoki: You bastards ready?! Because now it's on!

Don't come crying to me when your asses get kicked!

(Sfx- Pitsu snap)

(Sfx- Gatsu fwassh)

Gintoki: Come on out Shikigamiiii!!

017

(Sfx- Pinpon ding dong)

Gintoki: …..An intercom...?

Shinpachi: I was thinking it would come out faster than that...

Ogre: What are you doing?

Gintoki: Nothing, just hold on a minute.

Kagura: Gin-chan. Try to press again.

Gintoki: Show time Shikigami!!

(Sfx- Pinpon dingdong.)

Shinpachi: Dude, it really IS an intercom...

(Sfx- Kacha clack)

Shikigami: Yes?

Gintoki: There it is!!! Shikigami?

It's Show time Shi...

Shikigami: I don't need a newspaper subscription.

Gintoki: Uh, No....I'm not selling the paper.

Um Shikigami-san? Uh...hello?

Shikigami: Oh? Nakasaki-kun? Sorry, but Shikigami stepped out for a bit.

Gintoki: Nakasaki? For real? The Shikigami's not home?

Shikigami: I think that they're out at Tsutaya returning a video or something...I can tell them to call you back...

(Sfx- Gachagacha clack clack)

Gintoki: Tsutaya?! Who are you? Where is Shikigami? Are you saying to check Tsutaya?

(TN- Tsutaya's like a Japanese Blockbuster, or a general video renting service.)

Kagura: Sounds like the mother. I guess It cannot be helped.

Shinpachi: This is still a good opportunity, since the Shikigami's mom is a Shikigami.

Ogre: What the hell are you bastards doing? Knock it off.

Gintoki: Sorry, just give us one more chance.

(Sfx- Pinpon ding dong)

Ogre: Just ONE more time.

Shikigami's mom: Yes?

Gintoki: Um, I hate to bother you again, but It's me Sakata. The guy you made a pact with?

Shikigami's mom: Oh! You! Hold on just a moment please.

Gintoki: Good, looks like we might get somewhere this time.

Shikigami's mom: Father!! A moment please!

018

Shikigami's mom?: Father it seems that there's another stranger outside...

Shikigami's dad: Again? Is it that moron Nakasaki? Guess it can't be helped...

What do you want?

Gintoki: Um pardon me, but I'm not Nakasaki, but Sakata. Are you Shikigami's father?

You huh? Listen don't come bothering us again you punk!

Gintoki: Are you listening to me?

Shikigami's dad: Getting wise huh? Wait right there so I can smack you one in person!

Gintoki: Yeah sure, just come out quickly would ya?

Shikigami's mom: Dear! You can't go and do that!

Shikigami's dad: I sure as hell can! Just sit back while I go teach that Nakasaki bastard some manners!

Shikigami's mom: Don't you dare! This is a matter for the police!! Are you planning to commit murder?

Shikigami's dad: What are you talking about woman?! Let me go!

Shikigami's mom: Please! Stop! Calm down!

(Sfx- Bata bata clatter clater)

(Sfx- Gusaan Thwok)

Gintoki: Uh, is everything okay in there?

Shikigami's dad: H—Hey,

Setsuko, are you okay?

Gintoki: Why? Did something happen?

Someone: SETSUKOOOOOOO!!

(Sfx- Gatcha gatcha clack clack)

Gintoki: WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?! WHEN DID THIS TURN INTO A TV DRAMA?!?

Kagura: It appears someone was cut. While he was holding a sharp object, he mistakenly stabbed the mom.

Ogre: What's going on over there?!?

Gintoki: I don't know!! Don't blame me!!

Ogre: Quit wasting time ass! Either bring it out or don't! Either way you're done!!

Gintoki: Don't I get a choice?!

C'mon guys! We should get a chance before you pound us in right?!

(Sfx- Pin pon pin pon ding dong ding dong)

Ogre: Just make it snappy!!

Gintoki: Someone, anyone!! Help us!!

Shikigami: Hello? This is the Shikigami..

Gintoki: FINALLY!! The real deal is here!!

We're in a REALLY bad situation here!! So if you could PLEASE bring your ass out here and help us, We'd a appreciate it!! If you've got to, bring your mom too!!

Shikigami: Understood.

(Sfx- Poffun pooof)

Gintoki: Great! Now it's on!!

019

Shikigami: Sorry to keep you waiting.

Shikigami Gedoumaru at your service.

(Sfx- Chuuun whoooo)

{A....}

{FUNERAL PORTRAIT.....!??}

(Side text- Our condolences!!)

GINTAMA LESSON 282.....................END.