Gintama 323

I'm finally dooooone. That's three translations in one day, with a possible fourth coming up in a minute. (Possible of course means it may or may not happen.) Gintama is caught up! Next is Aku, and then some Gekka Bijin!! (I need professional help...)

Everyone out the pool, it's Hi wa mata noboru's swim.

(Side text- The movie; Gintama Benizakura arc: New translation, will be out on DVD on December 15th!! And guess what? There are tons of extras! For more info, check out Aniplex’s Gintama Homepage!!)
Matsudaira: Are you sure you’re going to be okay?
If you're wearin' briefs in the pool, they'll end up gettin' see-through.
It's not even 8PM on a Saturday, and and the Abarenbou Shogun will be on full display.
(TN- Abarenbou Shogun is a long-running TV show in Japan about a Shogun who disguises himself as a commoner. Abarenbou means "hooligan" or "rough neck".)
(Side text- The third sudden appearance of the shogun!!)
GINTAMA
SORACHI HIDEAKI
Lesson 323: If there's a Pool, there's Porori
(TN- Porori is well…two things. One is an sfx for falling out of something. The other is a sex game played at swimming pools, where the girls are literally supposed to be ‘falling out of’ their swimsuits.)
Shogun: For generations, the shogun family has unavoidably had...
Sabishinbou Shoguns.
(TN- This one means "lonely person".)

002
{I…}
{It's that sorta problem?}
Shogun: I've always wanted to try swimming in one of these so called 'puuls'.
I thought this a ripe opportunity to learn first-hand the activities the everyday people do to spend their time during Summer.
Matsudaira: Geez, you sure are a curious bastard.
Then I’m gonna go ahead to the cabaret club. Once you’re done getting your swim on, come on over.
Hey, you two are in charge, right?
I'll leave it to you guys. Show this guy how people play around in pools.
But he's comin' here incognito, okay? Make sure you keep the fact that he's the Shogun our little secret.
Ah, and if anything happens to him, both me and you guys' heads'll fly, so good luck.
{W---WAIIIIIIT A MINUTEEEEE!!}

003
Written: You can call me Shou-chan.
Nice to meet you.
{J.... Just when we were gonna have a nice break with the pool reserved...}
{THE FRIGGIN SHOGUN SHOWS UP?!}
{THIS GUY HAS THE WORSE TIMING EVER!!}
{WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE SHOGUUUUN!?}
{Why is he…}
{Only disinfecting THAT part?!}
{This has got to be some stupid joke.}
{This pool ain't a normal pool...!}
{All of the biggest idiots in Edo…}
{Are here cooling off!}
{It’s the friggin Bakamuda triangle here!!}
(TN- Baka: Stupid. Bermuda Triangle: Scary place of ocean that eats people. Combined? Bakamuda triangle.)

004
(Sfx- Kyah kyah)
Shogun: Somehow, it looks amusing.
I think I'd like to become better acquainted with those fellows.
{If the Shogun joins in with those guys…}
{It'll be no different from...}
{Throwing him to the sharks with a pair of maracas, buckass naked; and having him do one of Matsuken’s performances!!)
(TN- Matsuken, or Matsudaira Ken is a famous Japanese celebrity.)
{What’ll we do Gin-san?!}
{Now that the Shogun is here, our once paradise has turned into a slow boat to hell!!}
{Grumbling about it at this point isn't gonna solve anything. If the Shogun says he wants to play around, that's what's gotta happen and there's nothing we can do about it, right?}
{A... After all, there's nobody that can protect the Shogun from those idiots but us!}
{We just need to follow those idiots, and send the Shogun home happy.}
{You just make sure that the Shogun gets a swim-cap and goggles on. I think we're better off not letting those other guys know about this, so I'll handle the talking.}
(Sfx- Zafuu *bloosh*)

005
Gintoki: Hey um, can I talk to you guys for a minute?
Kagura: What is it? Gin-chan? You have come to play with us, yes?
Gintoki: No, actually, uh...
See, my buddy Shou-chan wants to hang out with you guys.
Do you think you could let him in on your games?
Tae: It's totally fine with us.
Kondo: Sure, any friend of Otae-san, is a friend of mine.
(Sfx- Zabaaa *bloosh*)
(Sfx- Zabaaa *bloosh*)
Sacchan: How cute, he wants to join in with us, but it’s too awkward to ask himself?
Toujou: Come on in, Shou-chann! We're all friends here. But talking with the young master is forbidden!!
Gintoki: I really don't want to be told stuff like that from you guys.
Tsukuyo: Don’t bother me none.
But what that man's wearing,
Those ain’t swim trunks, but underwear.
Kyuubee: That’s got to be some sort of manner violation.
I’m not so sure I feel right with him here.
Sacchan: There's not much of a difference between swim trunks or underwear. Although they're kinda small, only like 10th or 14th place.
Shinpachi: How far are you gonna drag that out, Sacchan-san?
Kagura: It is the same. If you wear underwear for a long time they tend to get stained with all kinds of different things.
Gintoki: No he's fine, seriously. That guy is really clean. Uh... He's a relatively high-class person.
Tae: But look there! If you look closely, you can see something on them!
Gintoki: What? Hey, stop talking like that, he can hear you.
Kondo: Hey! She's right! It's just a tiny bit on the front, but it's a little wet there!
Gintoki: I SAID STOPPPIT!! IT'S JUST FROM WHEN HE WAS IN THE DISINFECTING LIQUID, THAT'S THE ONLY AREA NOT DRY YET!!

006
Tae: Are we really sure about this? If he's like that on this side, we'll need to check the other side, too.
Excuse me, could you please turn around for a second?
Gintoki: DON'T BE SO LOUD!! There's nothing there! There's definitely no poop marks there!!
(Handwritten- Uh Gin-san, he can hear you too.)
Sacchan: Hey! It says "mark" in the speech bubble, too! Are you sure you don't actually have one?
Gintoki: I told you to shut up! What's gonna happen if he hears you, idiots?!!
(Sfx- Suta suta *tmptpmp*)
(Handwritten- Wait! Come back!!)
Gintoki: He’s going home! He’s really going home!!
LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE, MORONNNNS!! NOW WHO KNOWS WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?!!
Tae: If he's going home, that means he really did have a mark down there. That was a close one.
(Handwritten- How nasty.)
Tsukuyo: Hold it…
He came back ya’ll.
Seita: He’s got swim trunks!
Toujou: So he had some the whole time, did he?
Shinpachi: Yeah….but…
Now Hasegawa-san is in his undies!!
Huh...... So he just switched with Hasegawa-san?
Gintoki: It doesn’t matter dammit! Swim trunks are swim trunks!
Kagura: But are they really? If it's underwear VS Madao's swim trunks, then it's 4 to 6 with Madao's swim trunks being dirtier.
Gintoki: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

007
Tae: Kagura-chan, I really don't think that's so.
Gintoki: YOU’VE GONE AND SAID TOO MUCH!!
Tae: Ten to zero, Hasegawa-san's are dirtier.
Gintoki: That means it's already a called game, doesn't it?!
Tae: And although it's nice if he's changed, there looks like there's something on Hasegawa-san's swim trunks, now.
Kondo: You’re right! It’s the same stain from earlier!!
Gintoki: Why are you wetting yourself every dang time, Shou-chaaaaan?!
Toujou: What is the matter with that man?
Just how many times is he going to release something from the front tip?
Gintoki: Stop talking like that!!
Shogun: Sem
Sacchan: HANG OOOOOON! IT SAYS SEM WRITTEN THERE!! YAAAA! DON'T COME ANYWHERE NEAR US! I'M NOT GETTING IMPREGNATED BY ANYONE BUT MY DEAR GIN-SAN!!
Gintoki: Please, stop talking that way! He's a naive kid, so please, just stop it!!
(Sfx- Puka *drop*)
Hasegawa: All right then…
We should at least introduce him.
Gintoki: Meet Shou-chan. Everyone, let’s try and get along, okay?
Kondo: He’s cool as long as he stays on the boat.
Seita: Under no circumstances should you get in the water.

008
Hasegawa: Is this really going to be okay Gin-san?
Not only isn't he getting into our circle of friends, he's not even getting in the water.
Even though he's not in the water, the Shogun's getting water in his goggles.
This is really bad, like he's seriously mad. We're gonna lose our heads. We're seriously gonna lose our heads.
Gintoki: Calm down. We can recover from this. We just need to make for him some nice summer memories.
Hasegawa: So how are we going to help him enjoy summer now?
No matter how you look at it, this is a summer of trauma. One so bad he's about to drown in his own tears.
Gintoki: We’ve still got a chance to turn this whole thing around.
Tell me, what comes to mind when you’re at a pool, in skimpy swim wear and nothing else?
{No way!!}
Gintoki: Now that everyone’s here, let’s get the party started!!
The Badump [heart] Samurai Water Calvary Battle!!
Dadadadadada daaaaaaa!!

009
{Po….}
{PORORIIIIIII?!}
(TN- See chapter title.)
{The brilliance of watching two white skinned female bodies locked in grapple entwined with each other...}
{And those twin hills spilling out all over...}
{Social status, race, it's something that rises above all walls. Something that has existed since the beginning of time, an ever-unchanging romance of men!!}
{Gin-saaaan! That’s it! You’ve found a way to turn the sad tears of the Shogun into a ray of hope!! Go for it man!!}
Gintoki: All right, lets break into two group and form two-person teams.
One will be on top of the raft as a horse rider, and the other pulling below as the horse.
If the horse rider should fall off his steed, then his headband gets taken and he loses.
Well…
Really it's not a problem if it's more than just a headband...
Guys: IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!
I NEED A RAFT! GIVE ME A RAFT!!
{They’ve picked up on it!!}
{I knew you could do this Gin-san!! With these idiots not even understanding the situation, you were able to make them our allies in an instant!!!}

010
{WHAT THE HEEEEEEELLLL?!}
{WHY THE FREAK ARE YOU GUYS UP THERE?! WHAT KIND OF PORORI DO YOU GUYS WANT THIS TO BE?!}
{DO YOU GUYS EVEN UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF THIS GAME?! HOW ARE WE GONNA PORORI WITH YOU UP THERE?!}
(Handwritten Kondou- God, give me strength...)
(Handwritten Toujyou- Here we go, they're coming off!)
(Sfx- Buku buku *bbble*)
Sacchan: If Gin-san rides me like a horse, that means he's gonna straddle me, Kya~~~~~!!
(Sfx- Boko book boko *gloop glloop gloop*)
{And I haven't got the faintest idea of what this moron wants by being there!!}

011
Gintoki: YOU IDIOTS!! KNOCK IT OFF!!
Hasegawa-san's turned into a castaway who drifted here from lone island in a distant sea!!
Put a little more thought into forming your groups. Obviously the stronger guys should be the horses!!
Kagura: Which is why we did things this way.
Gintoki: IT'S TRUUUE! IF I REALLY THINK ABOUT IT, ALL THE GIRLS ARE STRONGER!!
Tae: I’m positive you’re just thinking of perverted things aren’t you!
Gintoki: Who the hell'd be interested in seeing your precipice! I ain't a rock climber!!
Kondo: I'll show you that I'll climb any precipice, Otae-san! Why is that you ask? Because that's where the nipples are.
Tae: Do you want me to kill you?!
Tsukuyo: No point playin' dumb. It's written all over ya face.
Seita: Where do ya see it? We ain’t thinkin’ nothin’ of the sort! Right Gin-san?
Gintoki: Yeah. Nobody here's thinking of anything lewd.
(Sfx- doku doku *drip drip*)
{THE FRIGGIN SHOGUUUUUUN!!!}

012
Gintoki: Hey um, Shou-chan?
I know you’ve got your hopes up and everything, but it’s –literally- written all over your face what you want to do.
(Sfx- Doku doku *throb throb.*)
Shogun: For generations, the shogun family has been the types who are restless and cannot sleep the day before an excursion.
Gintoki: I can tell you that I really don’t care. Now just be quiet and sit down.
Okay, all right, let's decide this fairly using rock-paper-scissors.
Whomever wins can be on top or whatever they want. How’s that sound?
On the flip side, Whomever loses has to jump into the pool from that diving board up there.
Tsukuyo: What does that have to do in terms a' hoseback fight?
Gintoki: Having a punishment ups the stakes, doesn' it? We're better off if everyone starts shrieking in excitement because of that.
Kagura: Really, even without it being the punishment, I will jump.
Gintoki: Shutup! Some people are scared!
{Heh…now it's on.}
{Jumping from that height, I'm sure the girls' skimpy swim suits will fall right off of 'em.}
{Now we're set to have wedgies even without starting porori.}
{Now show us your best sides, ladies.}
(Sfx- dodooon *spolooosh*)
(Sfx- Puka puka *droop droop*)

013
{THE FRIGGIN SHOGUNNNN.}
Gintoki: C’mon Shou-chan! Quit playing around!!
Are you doing this for someone else's sake? Don't get carried away with messing with the process.
Shogun: For generations, we of the Shogun family have been fans of the humble briefs. But we are also known to choose the T-back bikini thong on occasion.
Gintoki: What, are you aiming to change your preference now!?
Tsukuyo: Hey Gintoki, I ain’t clear on how this is gonna get buck wild.
All's happened is some guy's undies got stuck up his ass.
Gintoki: You idiot. Such a noble wedgie is something you may not behold in a whole lifetime.
Tae: We all know this is just another one of your schemes to make us do perverted stuff.
Gintoki: Who the hell wants to see you with a wedgie! And it's not like I'm a diver!!
Kondo: I’m proud to say that I’m not interested in your wedgie at all
Tae: YEAH RIGHT!
Kyuubee: I’m positive that’s what you wanted. Don’t try to play dumb.
Toujou: We would never be able to live with the guilt of doing such nonsense! We have no such sentiments whatsoever! Right, Gintoki-dono?
Someone: Then what do you call that?
(Sign- SS. Adventure.)
{THE FRIGGIN SS ADVENTURRRRE.}
Seita: Like this we were planning on tickling our sense of adventure and take him on a dangerous journey!
Gintoki: HOW THE HELL ARE YOU TICKLING ANYONE'S SENSE OF ADVENTURE LOOKING LIKE THAT?!! NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK AT THIS, THE GUY'S SUFFERING!
??: Well with that hole there, he'd definitely want to hoist the flag, right? Know the shame of the disgraceful trap!
Gintoki YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD WANT HIM TO HAVE A FLAG STUCK THERE! YOU'RE THE DISGRACEFUL ONES!!

014
Gintoki: Hang in there Shou-chaaan!!
Shogun: The S.S. Adventure has been famed for generations as a ship ridden by those with bravery in their hearts...
Gintoki: HANG ON!! YOU'RE NOT THE SS ADVENTURE! YOU'RE THE MIGHTY SHOGUN IN CHARGE OF CONQUERING THE BARBARIAN TERRITORIES!!
Kagura: If it is Porori or whatever that you want to see so badly,
Why not change the cavalry battle then?
Rather than grabbing something boring like headbands, how about just he people who have a clothing slip off are out?
How is that?
Tae: Sounds good to me.
Kyuubee: A good idea.
Tsukuyo: Then we can Porori as much as we like.
Gintokii: WAIT A SECOOOOOOND! IN THIS FILTHY SITUATION JUST DOING THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING BETTER!!
Girls: All right, let’s begin!
(Sfx- Doooooon *SPLOOOSH*)
GINTOKI: WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT BEING READY TO STAAAAAAAART?!
{Goddamit! I really can't let the Shogun suffer shame any moooore!}
Gintoki: Hang on Shou-chan!!
(Sfx- Guunnn *grnnd*)

015
(Sfx- Guuuuin *grrrnnd*)
Toujou: You won’t escape from me!!
Young master! Take a good look! I’m a brave warrior, aren’t I?
Gintoki: HEEEEEEY!!!
You bastard, do you know whose trunks those are you're pulling?!
SHOU-CHAN’S JUNK IS GOING TO FALL OFF AT THIS RATE!!
HOLY CRAP, THEY'RE GONNA SLIP OUT!! THEY'RE GONNA SLIP OOOUT!!
(Sfx- Miiin mekki mekki *grnnnd grnnnd*)
Gintkoi: Raise ‘em up! Raise your undies up, Shou-chan!!
(Sfx- Gatsu gakiiiin *graaab sha-sheeen*)
Gintoki: HOW HIGH WERE YOU PLANNING ON RAISING THEM!?
EVERYTHING IS SHOWING!! IT LOOKS LIKE IT’D BE MORE COMFORTABLE TO BE NAKED!!
YOU'VE ALREADY LOST NOW, HAVEN'T YOU?! WELL EVEN IF YOU HAVEN'T LOST, IN A WAY YOU HAVE, RIGHT?! AS A PERSON, I MEAN!!
(Sfx- Gatsu gatsu gatsu *graaab grab grab*)

016
Everyone: UWOOOOOOOAHHH!!
Gintoki: C’MON YOU GUYS!!! GIVE ME A FRIGGIN BREAAAAK!!
Seita: I gotcha now new guy!
I’m takin’ these undies!!
(Sfx- oooooooooh)
Shinpachi: E-Even as friends, I can't let you have them!!
(Sfx- Nuoooooooh!!!)
Gintoki: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING?! WHY ARE YOU BEING SO SERIOUS ABOUT PULLING AN ADULT MAN'S UNDERWEAR OFF?!
Kondo: I won’t lose!!
Otae-san rides on my shoulders…!!
(Sfx- Suriyaaahhhh!!)
Men: ALL THE GIRLS' POPORI DREAMS ARE RIDING ON THIS!!
Gintoki: WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS GOING ON ABOUT?! I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR PORORI!!!
(Sfx- Kyahh kyahhh)
Gintoki: THE GIRLS ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A BEACH VOLLEY BALL DREAM!!
More like, WHAT KIND OF SUPER TIGHTY WHITIES ARE THOSE!?
CAN THEY EVEN BE CALLED UNDERWEAR ANYMORE?!
(Sfx- Guiiiiii *grnnnnd*)
(Sfx- Guiiiii *Grnnnnd*)
Gintoki: HE’S GONE TO BUY CANNED COFFEEEE!!! AND YET THE UNDIES STILL HAVEN’T RIPPED!! MORE LIKE, HE’S BUYING CANNED COFFEE NAKEEEED!!!

017
Shinpachi: R---RIDICULOUS!!!
(Sfx- Miin minn mishii *Grnnnd grinnnd*)
(Sfx- Gokyuuu *siiip*)
Kondo: HE'S DEFYING OUR STRENGTH LIKE IT'S NOTHING!?
JUST WHAT IS HE?!
THIS GOD OF MEN?!
(Sfx- Byon byon *boing boing*)
(Sfx- Dooouu *fwoooosh*)
(Sfx- Shagagagaa *shssssh*)

018
(Sfx- Bariyaaaaaah *sdhhhhhhs*)
Shogun: For genenerations, the shogun family has...
been fans of the humble elastic briefs.

019
Shogun: I'm much obliged.
But I like this…
This pool is amusing.
I’ll definitely return next summer, to have fun with you people.
Thank you for the pleasant memories.
(Sfx- Shagagaaaaaa *sdssssssh*)
(Sfx- Gotsu *thok*)
Katsura: Mm, sure is a miraculous thing, lotion. Maybe this way we can even overthrow the Bakfu.
All right, one more time Elizabeth.
(Sfx- Puka puka *droop droop*)
Gintoki: Aww hell, whatever.
(Side text- To the summer war of men, we bid farewell!!)
GINTAMA LESSON 323………..END.
This series will be on break in the next issue; #41.