Gintama 405

Although I'm not going to (nor do I want to) complain about 17 pages this week, it is a bit worrying in conjunction with the two breaks that he's taken this year. Sorachi, you feelin' okay?



Not! Yodas: You earthlings don’t seem to understand

how much a planet can benefit from a beam cannon.

In that vein, we have sent you a wonderful present…

In hopes that it will trigger a deeper understanding.

(Side text- An unheard of danger!!)

GINTAMA

SORACHI HIDEAKI

Lesson 405: Two aniki’s.

(TN- I know it’s normally translated ‘bro’ or ‘brother’, but the title sounds kinda weird then, like the two are related to one another.)

Gintoki(?): Wh—what?

Could you like…say that one more time please?

Gengai: Do you think that the situation will improve slightly each time I say it?

(Handwritten- I even said it last week.)

Gintoki: I’m obviously thinking of those who for one reason or another were not able to get last week’s issue, shitty geezer.

002

Gengai: The guys on TV are more likely than not the ones behind this.

Their aim is to have the ban on beam-based weapons lifted, and they hope to accomplish this by threatening earth.

The present that the Beam people of planet beam have delivered…

Is without a doubt…

That guy.

In his half roboite body….

Is a time activated interstellar surge beam cannon.
The conditions for it’s activation…

Are when the planets in this galaxy line up.

003

Gengai: So to sum things up…

If that guy should fire his beam…

It’ll be nothing short of declaring war against the whole galaxy.

Gintoki: Could you say that one more time?

Gengai: Okay, sure! No.

Not! Yoda: You earthlings should be overjoyed that we’d share our beam knowhow with you.

Surely with this knowledge you all should even be able to seize control of the entire galaxy.

Well that would be the case, but it’s doubtful the league of planets will just sit idly by and let that happen.

004

Not! Yoda: The beam discharge is still 24 hours away.

If you don’t feel like becoming the scourge of the universe,

Then you will have the beam cannon ban lifted immediately.

If you manage to do that, then you earthlings will enjoy tomorrow and the day after that the same as you always have, with peace. Though if you are unable to meet our demands by tomorrow then….

Your planet will be the cause of an unprecedented Star wars,

Of like the history of the universe has never seen. Violence and strife will be carved into the entrails of your planet, nay the memories of people for years to come.

Though to be fair we don’t imagine you’ll have much of a future….

Since we are sure the other planets will not take treat the earth; cause of this conflict lightly.
005

Not! Yoda: It would be best for you all to make a decision, and make it fast.

Which is better to lose? A silly little bill, or the planet earth? The league of planets won’t hesitate once the beam shoots from earth will they?

Oh and we’d advise against the silly decision to search the earth for our ‘present’.

There’s a system in place in the very unlikely event that you do find it.

If in fact one of you fools does try to find the beam cannon before it fires…

The planet will be destroyed.

Gintoki: Pops…how the hell did things turn out this way…?

Why did that Obi dude…

Why did it have to be Shinpachi and Otae’s brother figure that got caught up with those bastards…?

Gengai: Maybe he…

Maybe he didn’t come here with the intent to destroy the planet?

It might be true his body got half destroyed by the transfer accident…

But maybe the beam aliens changed him into a tool without him knowing.

006

Gengai: The beam aliens might seem like they develop weapons and that their whole planet is nothing more than a armory for weapon sales…

But that whole appearance is nothing more than a farce.

The beam aliens love nothing more than to solve everything with well, beams.

Of course this means there are seedy folks mixed in there making all kinds of under the table deals.

They call them the ‘firestarter warehouse’.

It’s cause all of the underground organizations who are in war or feel like starting one head to them for the firepower.
And then you have this guy who’s nickname ‘Galaxy sword master’ which rings throughout the universe.

Think of it this way, what if he wasn’t meant to stop war…

But to the reason to go to war?

A convenient hero created with the sole purpose to start trouble….?

Shinpachi: Hajime-nii!

Oh thank goodness! You’re awake again! How are you doing? Is your body…

007

Shinpachi: Hajime-nii?

(Sfx- Pihh *shfft*)

Obi: Oh! ‘Sup, Shin-boy?

I’m feelin’ great thanks to you!

But maaan! Aint this mornin’ something!? If you’re talkin’ tip top mornings, Edo’s the best!!

Hey, wanna swing around that sword a bit for old time’s sake?

Shinpachi: Y—yeah!

Gengai: More likely than not….

That guy probably has no idea that he has a weapon capable of starting Star wars lodged in his body.

They’ve gone and used him without the poor sap even noticing.

The machine half of him is the one that’s their tool.

It not only keeps him alive, but also controls his thoughts and actions.

008

Gengai: It’s a tragic story. The half that’s keeping him alive….

His soul is what is causing us all sorts of hardship.

Gintoki: And how do we stop that half of him?

Say it.

This isn’t exclusively about Otae and Shinpachi. I’ve got a job to do now.

Hijikata: Listen up. Those ‘Firestarters’ are idiots trying to wreak havoc and destroy our peace.

Damn terrorists think that they’re gonna just do whatever they want with us police here? Screw that. We’re gonna find their secret weapon and put a stop to that interstellar beam cannon.

Feel free to cut down anyone who seems even kinda suspicious! I’ll take up for you.

Okita: And how do we identify anyone who’s suspicious, Hijikata-san?

HIjikata: ……

Like…I dunno, if a guy fires a beam?

Okita: Uh, this guy’s got a beam of stupidity flowing out of his head. Someone slice him down.

009

Hijikata: L—let me go! Do you guys have a death wish?!

Hey Kondo-san!! Say something wouldya?!

(Sfx- Gyah gyah *thud thud*)

Kondo: …..

Firing Beams…?

Koshinori: An unprecedented crisis such has this has been unheard of since the opening of the Tokugawa Bakfu!

As such, we the Yagyuu family will assist the Shogun with our buying---no, protect Edo!!

Using our celebrity power, we shall gather together and stand firm against any beam!!

More bankrolls! We have to complete the celebrity shield at once!!

???: Koshinori-sama! The celebrity shield is missing a spot!!

Hey! Who did this! Who mixed in Tagakibu with these?!

Binbokusai: Well, I thought a drift shield would work…

Koshinori: This is a celebrity shield father!!

Binbokusai: Then why not have the fine behind of some lady on here then?

Koshinori: That’s a friends with benefits shield!

Kyuubee: No…it’ can’t be….

010

Gengai: Run him through with this information disturbance sword.

It’ll only shut him down for an hour, but that should be long enough to get around his emergency activation system.

While he’s offline, you have to destroy the machine half of his body.

Gintoki: What’ll happen to the other half when I do that?

Gengai: I told you, the only reason he’s even alive now is because of those machines.

If the machine half ceases to function, or is lost somehow…

The other half….

Will resume being a corpse.

Tae: For what reason…

Have you come here?

011

Tae: What will you do…

With that dangerous looking weapon?

Gin-san?

Gintoki: That’s obvious ain’t it?

Imma cut down the first man you ever loved.

Tae: Right to the point, huh.

Gintoki: Women don’t tend to buy halfassed lies, am I right?

I saw you in the corner of my eye….

Listening in on the old guy and I, so there’s no point in acting stupid about it now.

Obi: How many years has it been…

Since you’ve washed my back Shin-boy?

Though back then you were a weak little guy, so you couldn’t wash nothin’, really.

But now you’ve really become somethin’ huh? Shin-boy. I’ll bet you’ve even already used that thing down below, right?

Shinpachi: I’d rather not talk about that with you!

012

Shinpachi: But I’ll never be as good as you Hajime-nii.

I mean, you’re the galaxy sword master! I’d never be able to match up to that!

Obi: Shin-boy, sure I might have that title, but you and Tae are stronger than me..

After all, ya’ll have busted your tails protectin’ this dojo, aintcha?

In comparison to that, I ain’t nothing special. Me? The greatest samurai in the universe? Just a tall tale…

I left earth and all..

But in the end all I found was this messed up, gizmo filled body of mine..

And some galaxy title that just amounts to a whole lotta nothin’.

When I returned to Edo and saw you and Tae again Shin-boy…

I thought I find the two who kept fallin’ and needin me to protect them…

But despite me goin all around the universe and then some…

I instead saw that you guys found real strength…the real strength that I never could.

Should I have come back sooner…?

To the country of samurai…?

Shinpachi: Why…

Why are you saying those things….as if you’re giving up?

As if everything is going to end…?

Can’t we just be together like we were before?

If it’s all of us, we can become stronger…isn’t that good enough?

If we all act together, we can find that strength…

After all, we only found it…

When we met that person…

When we were together with Gin-san.

So don’t talk that way….

The Hajime-nii we knew back then…

Would never…

Make that kind of face!!

014

Obi: Shin-boy, you…

You noticed didn’t you…?

Tae: It wasn’t just me…

But Shin-chan and I…

We already know he…

He doesn’t have much left…..

So please…I beg you..

At least until tomorrow leave it be..

Just allow us a little bit more time…

Please put your sword away Gin-san.

Shinpachi: Hajime-nii..

It’s been nothing but fun since I met you and Gin-san.

It’s like having two older brothers I can rely on.

No matter what I need to ask you two, or what we need to face…

015

Shinpachi: I’ve looked forward to the day where we could rub shoulders..

And I could wash your backs…

I never thought the day where I could do that..

A day like this would ever happen…

But now…

Now…

Why you Hajime-nii?

Why is it Gin-san has to do something like this just when you’ve gotten back?

Does it really have to be like this?

Tae: Please Gin-san..

Just a little bit more time. That’s all I ask you..

Just grant him a bit more time…

To be an older brother to Shin-chan…

016

Obi: Sorry Shin-boy…

I didn’t mean to cause you so much trouble…

I know that I’ve already reached my limit livin’ with this other half of me.

I know that someday me and this gizmo are gonna get cut down..I’m ready for it.

That’s why I made my way back to Edo, even though I’ve got this thingy on me..

So just one more time….

I could see you and Otae-chan’s faces.

Sorry for bein’ a pain in the ass until the very end…

It was short but..

I’m glad I got to see ya one more time.

To see this city of samurai one more time..

It was—

(Sfx- Zuuuh *thooom*)

017

(Sfx- Dogooooon *THOOOOM*)

Gintoki: You’re in the way…

So just move.

Every last one of you making that face…

But great samurai know what face to make when a time like this comes. Have you forgotten what was taught in the beam saber style?

Huh?

Coach Obi wan?

(Side text- Coach VS Coach!!)

GINTAMA LESSON 405……………END.