I'd play the new DQ game...wait that's a spoiler. Um...I hate Sorachi? That's a spoiler too.....
....No more text puhleeeeeeeze. :-D
Hi wa mata noboru only.
(Side text- Beware of heat stroke!!)
(Sfx- Miin miiin reee reee)
Lesson 411: A Begirama summer.
(TN- Begirama is a spell in dragon quest better known as 'sizzle' which also goes with the name 'hurtmore'.)
Kagura: These watermellons are good, but not good enough.
Soyo: What's that?
Kagura: They taste good. Though these seeds are in the way.
If it were not for the seeds, the watermelon would make short work of the pear and the peach. It has the specs for it...
Soyo: Well...it is true that the seeds are ever so hard to ignore.
I'd love to be able to bite into it without a single care, but the seeds are always keeping me from fully enjoying it.
Gintoki(?): Kagura, hime-sama, you two just don't get it do you?
It's because the seeds are a pain in the ass that the watermelon is so friggin' awesome.
If you just eat it without any obstacle, that makes you no better than a dude who's an army otaku and wears a uniform for kicks.
The obstacle known as seeds are part of the mini drama that comes with eating this food.
(Sfx- Pupuhh spiiit)
Gintoki: The flavor of a watermelon is something you gotta drag out with a regular tempo.
In essence, a watermelon isn't just a fruit...
But the birth of a drama about eating.
Shinpachi: Oh, I see. It's all about variation then?
Gintoki: The foundation of summer vacation is like that as well. It's all about the feeling of being freed from doing school work...
Shinpachi: So in essence each day of summer vacation should be spent lazing around and slowly letting your brain rot...like Gin-san, right?
Gintoki: Who's brain is rotting like a watermelon?
Soyo: So in short it's like that.
How Takahashi Masa's nose holes are normal and there's nothing interesting about them at all?
Gintoki: No one said anything that harsh at all, Hime-sama.
Soyo: Then...it's because the hindrances in the watermelon are a major problem is it?
And without the drama created by those seeds, the watermelon won't be as tasty?
Gintoki: Yeah, something like that.
Soyo: I see.
If we're going to eat watermelon...
why not come up with a means to eat them that's more exciting?
Kagura: How will you do that?
Just leave it to me.
What are you planning to do?
We are um...sorta responsible for your safety...
So please try not to be reckless...
Soyo: Okay Kagura-chan...
Could you use this to cover my eyes?
Kagura: Ah! So it is watermelon splitting you want to do, Soyo-chan!
Soyo: Yes! I'm certain that this will be ever so dramatic! Moreover it is just what we will need to bring out the flavors of the watermelon.
Shinpachi: I don't mean to rain on your parade but isn't wearing a blindfold kind of dangerous?
If you fall over or get hurt in any way, they'll literally have our heads.
Soyo: Please, It has always been a dream of mine to split watermelons over the summer.
But Jii would always stop me before I could...I don't want to squander this chance...
Shinpachi: But Hime-sama...
Gintoki: Aww, let the girl have some fun, Shinpachi.
By letting her do summer like stuff she'll be able to relax and become a fine princess.
Kids don't create awesome summer memories by lying around in villas and summer houses, they come from getting a little scratched here and there.
If you're really that worried about her getting too hurt, then we'll just look out for any problems.
Hime-sama!! You just follow our directions and come right up to do some watermelon busting!!
Soyo: Thank you ever so much, Gin-san!!
Kagura: But it will be difficult if you are both giving directions. It would be good to decide who will be left and who will be right.
Gintoki: Fine. I'm Right.
Shinpachi: I'll direct her to the left then.
Soyo: All right!
Here I come~!!
Gintoki: Hold the phone Hime-sama!!
(TN- Chesto is something they used to shout back in olden Japan. Not sure what the origin is of the phrase, but remember it's 'Chesto' not 'Cheerio'.)
Gintoki: Maybe you should simmer a little bit Hime-sama!
Maybe you should also consider putting the bokutou away, Hime-sama!!
Kagura: What is the problem here?
Soyo: Perhaps a real sword would be better than a bokuto after all...
Shinpachi: If you're going to use anything other than a bokutou, then please change that tendency your brain has to causally accept sadism!!
Gintoki: Moreover, who's idea was it to turn this into the watermelon bros splitting contest? Why are we on either side of the watermelon?
Soyo: Eh? But wasn't it you who said that memories are created from an injury here or there?
Gintoki: I said no such thing! The kind of injuries you're trying to inflict will erase memories and proof of life completely!!
Shinpachi: Um...Hime-sama, are you sure you want to split watermelons? This seems...sorta different than the watermelon splitting we know of...
Soyo: I know.
But I thought a little extra drama would make things a bit more enjoyable for me..
Gintoki: Who said to make a suspense drama out of this, dammit?!
Soyo: If I can breach the watermelon's defenses, then the taste afterwords will be marvelous.
Shinpachi: No, there's no way you'll be able to eat!! Our heads are going to be smashed into little pieces at this rate!!
Kagura: That is right. You will have to make sure that Masa's nose is also properly cleaned out so that there are no nasty boogers left afterward, yes?
Gintoki: What the hell?! It's pretty obvious that you're not planning on splitting watermelons but our heads!!
Kagura: Enough of your whining.
As Clift and Bly, it is your fate to brandish yourselves at the arena.
Gintoki: Who's Clift and Bly?!
So wait, the watermelon is Toruneko?! Are we the horse cart brothers?!
(TN- I'm assuming another DQ reference.)
Kagura: You had better lead her to the watermelon well, or she really will strike you down in the arena with one blow~
(Sfx- Yoro yoro wobble wobble)
Don't come over here, go to Clift!!
Shinpachi: Shut up Bly!!
Soyo: Um, I can't say that I know who either Clift or Bly are...
(Sfx- Yoro yoro wobble wobble)
Gintoki: You have to slant yourself 30 degrees to reach Zaraki!!
Shinpachi: No! The opposite 30 degrees, Zaraki!
Kagura: You two fools have been overusing Zaraki.
Soyo: Um...this 30 degree slant, Zaraki?
(Sfx- Burororo vrrrrm)
(Sfx- Yoro yoro wobble wobble)
Gintoki: NOOOOOOO!!! Hime-sama, you've lost sight of Zaraki completely!!
Gintoki: That's dangerous!!!
Kagura: Soyo-chan, that is the wrong direction. Turn 180 degrees, zaoral!
Gintoki: Waaait!! 180 degrees from that is zaorick!!
Shinpachi: NEITHER OF THOSE MATTER!
(TN- All Dragon quest spells. Do you all wish you played the game and could understand this as much as I do right now?)
Shinpachi: Don't move from there!! Just stand still Hime-sama!!
Soyo: Eh? Why is that? Have I found it?
(TN- See note by chapter title.)
Shinpachi: Who said anything about 'Begirama'?! I said Hime-sama!!
Gintoki: What the hell are we going to do dammit?! She just begirama'd an innocent bystander!!
Lady: Th—Thank you so much!!
That man is a purse snatcher!! He just took my bag from me!!
Shinpachi: He was a purse snatcher!! She just managed to miraculously recover stolen merchandice!!
Lady: That's my bag!!
How do I thank you....
Shinpachi: What did you hear just now?!
(Sfx- Dohhh Sfft)
(TN- The lady said 'Nanto' Or 'How', which Soyo heard as 'Nantou' or 'South east'.)
Gintoki: She got stolen goods and used 'liremito' to retreat south east....not that there's anything there!!
Lady: Kyaaah!!! Thief!!
Police: You there!! Stop at once!!
(Sfx- Kikiii reeeeeh)
Gintoki: Hoshit, the cops have horribly great timing!!!
Poilce: Are you trying to get away with stolen goods?!
Drop your weapon!!
Soyo: Eh? But if I drop my weapon, I won't be able to split watermelons...
Gintoki: This has far exceeded splitting watermelons....!!
Hey Kagura!! Go over there and explain the situation immediately!!
(Sfx- Datsuh dash)
Kagura: Got it!!
That's (bold next word) Hime-sama!!
Soyo: Take this!! Begirama DEATH!!
(Sfx- Gofuhhh thonk)
Shinpachi: Don't say anything unnecessary Kagura-chan!!!
She's just begirama'd a police officer!! Don't say 'Hime-sama' any more Kagura-chan!!
Poilce: What are you doing?!
Shinpachi: Hold on!! That's the Shogun's sibling!!!
Soyo: Begiragon DEATH!!
(Sfx- Gofuhhh thoonk)
Shinpachi: That's Begirama's sibling!!!
Shinpachi: 'Shogun-sama' became Begirama too?!
If she hears anything with 'Ma' in it, it becomes Begirama!!!
Gintoki: Quick! Someone cast Mahotoon on her!!
Soyo: Ikadzuchi cane DEATH!!
(TN- Ikadzuchi is 'thunder'.)
Gintoki: She can use items too?!
(Sfx- Gofuuunn Thonk)
Gintoki: To what extent is she trying to push Begirama?!
So wait, if we say 'Begirama' instead of 'Hime-sama' will it have the opposite effect?!
Kagura: BEGIRAMA DEATH!!
(Sfx- Goohh thonk)
Gintoki: I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!!
Dammit, screw this!!
(Sfx- Fungooooh HNNGHHH)
(Sfx- Ugooooooh! Hrrrnnngh!)
Shinpachi: If we don't stop the Begirama sisterhood, things are going to go to hell and fast!
Gintoki: HNNGH!! I can't moooove!!
Dude: Just what the hell is that girl?!
Has she already figured out our plan?!
I'll take care of things here! Just take the other girl with you!!
(Sfx- Doon thud)
(Sfx- Gikagika shisssh)
Hey! What are you doing to do to Soyo-chan! Where are you taking her!
You guys are mistaken! That's...
Dude: Shogun-sama's little sister....Soyo-hime, right?
(Sfx- Yoro yoro wobble wobble)
You are the guys who are mixed up here. We're not police officers...
We're the patriots 'Hyadaruko'.
We got intel that Soyo-hime often sneaks out of the castle....
So we made sure to collaborate and jump on this opportunity...it would have been a shame to let it slip by.
Dude: Using his over flowing feelings for his sister..
And her elquent way of speaking, we're hoping he'll be more inclined to listen to our very humble opinions.
Well, with his disposition as an older brother...
I'm wondering if we may have to throw in an eye or an ear along with her eloquence to get him to listen...?
(Sfx- Gaaan thuud)
This is the worst!! Watermelon splitting was a horrible idea after all!!
This is bad Gin-san!!
If something happens to hime-sama, then our necks will have a reserved engagement with a blade!!
Kagura: Soyo-channn!! Where are you!!
I have a watermelon!!
Gintoki: I want you to put that watermelon away.
Calm down spazes.
This is a blessing in disguise.
Gintoki: See, if real cops had been the ones to bring her home, then it would also be known that she snuck out in the first place.
Things would go to hell in a hand basket, and worst yet, we'd be the ones responsible.
But those guys are patriots.
So if we can get her back and beat everyone to death before they start trying to strike up deals, then no one has to know what happened today.
Shinpachi: Is that sorta thing even possible?
Kagura: Even if we are able to do that, Soyo-chan will never be able to forget how scary this day was!
She will never want to play outside of the castle again!
(Sfx- Papahh beep beep)
Dude: Hey! Where the heck are you people running?
I think we're about to make some beautiful summer memories.
Dude: Hurry up!!
We have to make haste and cut a deal before the dogs of the bakfu catch wind of what's going on!
Soyo: It seems...
That we have gotten quite far from the watermelon....
(Sfx- Burororo vrrmmm)
Gintoki: Not exactly...
If it's watermelons you want...
(Sfx- Basasaa fwapfwap)
Gintoki: There are plenty here...
Right before your eyes!
(Sfx- Dodododo thumpthumpthump)
I can't see!!
(Sfx- Kiiiiiii reeeeeh)
(Sfx- Dodoooonn thooooom)
Dude: Get out!!
Quick, grab hime and run for it!!
(Sfx- Guriinn sffft)
(Sfx- Dodofuuuh sffft)
(Sfx- Gorogoro roooool)
Dude: Waaaaaaaaait!! These guys are rolling watermelons on the ground!!
You'd better stop this foolishness at once!!
What the hell are you planning?!
In any case, you'll put an end to it if you don't want anything to happen to hime!!
(Sfx- Gachaaan clack)
Dude: Raise your hands!!
And if you value hime's life, then you won't get in our way any more!!
Dude: Wha---What are you laughing at?!
It's just that this truly has become like a drama.
Gintoki: Sorry about that.
That this is nothing more than the cheap scenario of a two hour suspense drama.
Soyo: No...I'm having ever so much fun.
But I think the watermelon's sweetness is just right.
Gintoki: You're right about that.
Gintoki: Well then...
Hime-sama, it's about time.
(Sfx- Hyururururu whyuuuu)
Gintoki: your watermelon.....
(Sfx- Gapaaaaahh tooook)
(Sfx- Doshoaaaahh bloooosh)
Soyo: Ahah!! Yay!
(Sfx- Pachi pachi pachi clap clap clap)
Soyo: I hit it!!
Soyo: Hm? Where did all of these people come from?
Gintoki: Ah, no need to worry about it.
These guys are just extras hired to ensure that the watermelon you eat would be at its most tasty.
Soyo: Oh? Well for this...
I thank all of you extras from the bottom of my heart. I shall remember you all.
Dude: No problem.
Soyo: Now, shall we finally have a watermelon everyone?
I believe we've had enough drama for now...the watermelon should be rather tasty by now.
Now then everyone...
Lets dig in!!
(Sfx- Miin miin reee reee)
Soyo: I think....
We let a little too much time slip by.
I guess watermelons are...
more hyadalko than begirama.
(TN- Hyadalko is a snow spell. I wish there was a spell that stopped Sorachi from using these DQ jokes...)
(Side text- Food is always best when eaten right away!!)
GINTAMA LESSON 411...........END.