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Translations: One Piece 752 by cnet128 , Bleach 587 (2) , Gintama 501 by Bomber D Rufi
translation-needs-checked translation-needs-proofread

Gintama 445

A Snotty diamond

en
+ posted by Bomber D Rufi as translation on May 18, 2013 17:51 | Go to Gintama

-> RTS Page for Gintama 445

Oh shit, I did two Gintama translations in a row for the first time in two months.

Hi wa mata noboru only.


Tsuu: Everyone!!
Thank you so much poop!
Gintoki: What’s been up with Otsuu-chan lately?
It’s totally like her heart hasn’t been into her work lately, ain’t it?
(Side text- Pooooop!)
GINTAMA
Shinpachi: That’s not the case at all!! She’s put out another CD as usual and it’s chart number on Edocon has been….
(TN- Edocon is probably Oricon, which ranks entertainment sales.)
Gintoki: Putting your playing dumb about it aside, It’s clear that her high rankings have been all but stolen by these up and coming energetic Idol groups.
There’s EDO 48 and Chikubikuro Z…
It seems that the ages and sales favor group gigs.
(TN- EDO48 is probably AKB48 and Chikubikuro Z is probably Momoiro clover Z. Chikubi means Nipple BTW.)
Gintoki: Otsuu-chan better get with the program, or her popularity and her affiliated office’s money are going to go into the crapper.
After being forgotten she’ll have to **** and **** just to get recognition on some label. No way she’s gonna make a debut like that.
(On DVD cover- That nationwide idol finally makes her debut! The poop will really come out now…)
Shinpachi: DON’T SAY UNLUCKY STUFF LIKE THAT!!

002
Shinpachi: Maybe the masses have gotten their eyes hooked on the latest fad, but in the very end what will be left is the genuine article!
Terakado Tsuu will be the lone survivor of the idol warring states period!! Mark my words!
Gintoki: Are you some sorta retard? Why does everyone wanna give reality a makeover so bad? She’s just a girl playing dressup right?
There’s no such thing as real or fake in this situation.
Yeah sure, Otsuu-chan might be cute and decent at singing…
But if she’s going to be standing on the stage all alone, there’s no way she’s goning to leave any sort of impression on the audience.
However that changes if you take five or six other hags and put them in a group with her.
It’s stupid how this works, but it makes Otsuu-chan’s cuteness make more of an impression.
Shinpachi: Uh…even putting the hag part aside…
There is an advantage to selling a group.
The frame known as a group is created on the foundation of comparing and contrasting.
The members within the group are supposed to have different idiosyncrasies, each with their own special characteristics that people grasp and can follow.
It’s with this that each member has a means to capture the hearts of others.

003
Shinpachi: The method you’re saying she should use isn’t really necessary for Otsuu-chan, Gin-san. She doesn’t need other members.
Gintoki: She could use at least 48 other hags.
Shinpachi: Why 48? Is that supposed to be for luck? Or are you trying to ride on someone else’s coattails?
Gintoki: Well..if that’s impossible then let her take on all 48 on her own.
Shinpachi: What the hell is that?! Is she trying to make some sort of invincible debut or something?!
I guess there really is a limit to what she can do alone though…
And with other members on a group it only increases their appeal, so Otsuu-chan on her own is…
But what will happen to her potential and hard work if she should be an idol…
Girl: Otsuu-chan is really cute and all…
I wonder what I would have to do to become an Idol?
Kagura: I do not understand this well.
Gin-chan says if it’s just selling ‘pillows’ then anyone will do, yes?

004
Girl: Oooh? So that’s it? They’re selling ‘Pillows’?
Kagura: It is so. This is the principal business of Idols and the like it appears.
Girl: I see, If they don’t sing songs they won’t be able to sell pillows and that’s a problem huh?
???: That’s incorrect miss.
An Idol’s principal occupation isn’t to simply sing…
Nor is it to sell pillows.
(Sfx- Zatshh *shfft*)
???: It is to sell ‘dreams’.
That is something that no one else can do.
To take a fragment of talent and continue to polish it with unceasing effort.
To find that raw diamond ore…
We are necessary.
(Sfx- Bishihh *fwiip*)
(Card- Hayashiki group office Toubkibi Unko: Fuyumoto Gen.)
???: Miss, if you should want it….with us…no..
Would you like to sell dreams with Terakado Tsuu?

005
GINTAMA
(Side text- Otsuu-chan!! Oh yeaaah yeaaah!!)
(Side text- In July the second Gintama movie begins and the newest volume of Ginpachi Sensei’s novelization’s date has been set for August!!// Volume 49 of the manga and the Gintama character book Convex is now out in stores!! Hurry to your book store!!//Gintama’s character book Concave will be out June 4th in stores!!// Gintama books and all that is related is available on S-manga.net!//Work on the second movie is going swimmingly! Prerelease ticket information is available on the official HP!! Check it out at http://www.gintama-movie.com)
SORACHI HIDEAKI
Lesson 445: A Snotty diamond.

006
Shinpachi: WHAAAAT?!
Kagura-chan an IDOL?!
AND YOU WANT HER TO BE IN A UNIT WITH OTSUU-CHAN?!
The hell kind of madness is this?! What kind of scheme do you two have in mind?!
MOREOVER AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE THE OFFICE THAT SUPPORTS OTSUU-CHAN?!
Otsuu’s mom: I was surprised too. I would have never thought she’d be scouted and brought here..
The little lady from the Yorozuya who’s supported us many times in the past.
Tsuu: But that’s our scoutman for you! He’s got good eyes!
Kagura-chan has the makings of an idol in her! I can tell!
And on further look she looks like a beautiful girl with fair skin.
She’s got the beginnings of a look that a foreign celebrity would have.
She looks like the sort who could do anything she wants right?
Shinpachi: I’VE NEVER HEARD OF AN IDOL WHO PICKS HER NOSE!!

007
Tsuu: But Idols do have noses….I mean even I..
Shinpachi: YOU DON’T DIIIIIG. THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS BOOGERS WITHIN YOU OTSUU-CHAN.
WHEN YOUR NOSE DRIPS IT COMES OUT AS STICKY PIXY HEART SHAPED DREAM AND HOPE DUST.
Tsuu: Um…no. It’s Snot like anyone else’s.
Otsuu’s mom: Group idols are now on the rise, and sales are kind to them in this age.
Otsuu’s got to ride this wave or she risks being left behind.
As such, we’re creating a position for someone to join Terakado Tsuu in an idol unit temporarily.
It’s the ‘What nationality is yer partner’ project.
(Paper top text- ‘What nationality is yer partner project// Will you sing beside Terakado TSuu?)
Otsuu’s mom: It’s our hope that Otsuu and an unknown newbie with character will team up with her and bring out a brand new and more charming side to her,
As well as discover a new talent and sell them and Otsuu as a package deal. This is our plan.
Shinpachi: You say discover but….no matter how far into the mine you go, and how much ore you dig up, the only thing you’re gonna find is snot.
(Sfx- Hoji hoji *dig dig*)
???: Right now it might be snot that we’re looking at, but with some shining we might be able to make her snot with the quality of a diamond.
Shinpachi: ISN’T THAT STILL BASICALLY SNOT?!

008
Otsuu’s mom: In any case Otsuu needs a non-standard partner, so please lend us your cooperation.
Shinpachi: Hey!! Calm down!! Do you want all of the work Otsuu-chan has put in to go to waste?!
She’s no good to be an idol, sell dreams or anything like that!
(Sfx- Pihh *fwick*)
Shinpachi: Heck, you could actually say she’s created for the sole purpose of destroying men’s dreams! She’s no more than a wretched Jump heroine….
(Sfx- GOohhh *THUUUUD*)
(Sfx- Doooon *Thuuuud*)
Shinpachi: GUNNH!!
Kagura: Just because I am quiet you go on and on saying what you wish. You see now that my snot is actually harder than a diamond, yes?
(Sfx- Fuhh *fwhoo*)
Otsuu’s mom: That was amazing!!
Tsuu: There mom! She has the hidden qualities of a star within her! We can use that to get an audience!!
Do it again! I wanna see it again!!
(Sfx- Kyahh Kyahh!)
GIntoki: All right, that’s enough.
(Sfx- Zui zui *shffft*)
Gintoki: Before we talk about business any more…
You do know that she is our office’s main attraction….our chief object.

009
Otsuu’s mom: Eh? Office? Main attraction?
Gintoki: Yes. For you see, we’ve been raising her at the Yorozuya to become an idol. She’s been fixed as our center heroine for 9 years…making her Gintama’s idol.
Otsuu’s mom: If it’s potential you’re talking about, our Otsuu has a talent that can’t be beat. She’s our pride and joy.
Gintoki: If you would like our girl to participate in this project within the same party as Otsuu-chan,
We need to talk about compensation of course.
???: Okay! One, two, one two!
All right, weird old man~!
(Sfx- Pan pan *clap clap*)
???: C’mon weird old man~
Gintoki: Well president, I suppose we can produce the two of them together.
Otsuu’s mom: Yes…I don’t mind that.
Putting that aside Producer Sakata…
(Handwritten- Eh? You’re a producer now?)
(Handwritten- You’re just an extortionist.)
Otsuu’s mom: What you were saying before doesn’t appear to be a lie.

010
Otsuu’s mom: That sense of rhythm, her movements and physical strength already far exceed Otsuu’s.
Gintoki: Yes….and while she is more suited to space, there aren’t any idols who come close to her. Right Trainer Shimura?
Shinpachi: Eh? I’m the trainer?
Gintoki: Her looks and performance I’m sure will give birth to one hell of an idol. Right, Manager Shimura?
Shinpachi: Eh? Am I the manager or the trainer?!
Gintoki: The problem here is how do we package what these girls are selling?
Otsuu’s mom: I leave producing that matter in your hands.
Gintoki: Eh?!
Otsuu’s mom: Considering that Otsuu is aiming for a new sort of glamor, it becomes obvious that the means of producing her will absolutely need to change as well. If you were to take over I believe you’d do fine.
Gintoki: There’s no need to worry. I’m a specialist of the Idol institute, aren’t I? Idol ota king?
Shinpachi: Um…yeah could you stop changing my position please?
Otsuu’s mom: I’ll ascertain your ability.
Producer Sakata….****Shimura.
Shinpachi: AND IN THE END I COME OFF SOUNDING LIKE SOME SORTA PERVERT!
Wait a second here Gin-san!! Do you even know how to be a Producer?
GIntoki: Getting involved with Otsuu-chan means no matter how bad things get we’re gonna rake in some easy cash.
If we’re just selling favors then sell ‘em. If we’re gonna be making cash, then we make it and hard.

011
Shinpachi: But at this rate Otsuu-chan’s going to get caught up in that giant booger!!
(Handwritten- HUNNGH!)
Gintoki: I said it before man. In order to get a diamond’s radiance noticed, you need to have snot beside it as a comparison. It’s perfectly fine.
And so…from today on you guys…
Should begin your activity as ‘Booger diamond Z 48’….
Tsuu: Booger? What? What’s that? IS that our unit name, Producer?
Though I want to act as a unit…boogers are…
Kagura: This is so. I do think diamonds are good, but the booger part is not good.
Gintoki: But you ARE the booger part.
Gintoki: In Japanese it might sound sorta nasty, but in Spanish it means ‘Limitless possiblities’.
Shinpachi: That’s some grade A nonsense you’ve got going on there sir.
Gintoki: It’s the brainchild of BZ and Wands.
Shinpachi: Why is it BZ and Wands seem to be married in your equation?
(TN- BZ as you already know a Japanese Rockband. WANDS is a pop one.)
Gintoki: It’s sorta like how Shima Daisuke is more or less in the little brother position for Yokohama Ginbae. I’m hoping to follow that example for our sales approach.
Shinpachi: Your sales approach is ancient.
Kagura: What about the 48?
Gintoki: It comes from Shima Daisuke’s 48 years of age.
Shinpachi: THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH DAISUKE AT ALL!

012
Gintoki: Now lets see if we can’t use our office’s strengths to get things done here. Though I guess first we gotta figure out what means would work the best.
Shinpachi: Um...it’s like I was saying…this is about idols.
Tsuu: Yeah! I mean just going for a ladies-like approach should work well enough right Producer?
GIntoki: Nope. It’s not that sorta problem Otsuu-chan.
Kagura: That is right. Moreso than Daisuke, we should be more rough like Sugimoto Tetta, yes? Producer.
Tsuu: Um, what do you two think idols are? It seems like you’re all about Daisuke and picking up after his image here.
(TN- Sugimoto Tetta is a rock star and celebrity.)
Gintoki: Okay then, how about this?
{Long ago at the ends of the universe, the great artists B’z and Wands gave birth to 48 children…}
Shinpachi(?): That’s impossibly magnificent.
{These children were scattered around the universe, and out of the 48 the last two children whom also happen to be twins…}
{Decended to a planet named Earth.}
Shinpachi: Oh I see, So they came from Korin planet huh? It’s sorta like Yukorin’s selling point.
(TN- Yuko Ogura’s nickname is Yuukorin. She’s an idol who has this sort of set up as a part of her character.)
{To advance into the world of politics…}
Shinpachi: NOTHING’S CHANGED FROM BEFORE!!!

013
Shinpachi: IN THE END THEY’RE STILL PRETTY MUCH DAISUKE RIGHT?!
Gintoki: The political world and the world of entertainment pretty much require that those who desire it have to start off on a new journey. HDZ48 will be on Daisukerin’s side…
Girls: And support him.
Shinpachi: LEAVE DAISUKE OUT OF THIS!! YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES HERE WHO NEED SUPPORT RIGHT?!
Tsuu: Though Idols in suits is a pretty original idea.
Gintoki: Yeah but wearing suit pants doesn’t give much in the way of fanservice, so switch ‘em out for a skirt.
Tsuu: Then we just need to decide on a means of making the back band chick, cool and cute to produce that idol image.
Lets do this! It’s a woman’s order!!
(Banner- A woman’s order.)
Shinpachi: Uh…while the outfits aren’t bad, the song sounds like it’s being dragged kicking and screaming into a Daisuke theme.
Kagura: Then how does this sound?
This is proof of a woman! Let us go, yes?
(Banner- Proof of a woman.)
Shinpachi: Um…that seems sorta wrong somehow.
Gintoki: Then how about this?
Shinpachi: WHAT KINDA SONG ARE YOU HAVING AN IDOL SING?!
(Banner- Lots of days.)

014
Shinpachi: Is that what a woman’s order is supposed to be?! Is that what the proof of a woman means/!
Gintoki: Hey now, don’t go blithely making up your own misunderstandings. The obvious meaning of ‘Lots of days’ is that…
The back band….
Is Daisuke’s lots of days.
Shinpachi: WHAT KIND OF DAYS ARE WE TALKING?!
ITS YOUUU AGAIN?! WE ALWAYS SEEM TO RETURN TO YOU!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE A BREAK INTO THE WORLD OF POLITICS?!
Gintoki: HDZ48 knows that Daisukerin will return to the world of entertainment and as such…
Girls: We’ll welcome him.
Shinpachi: CAN’T WE JUST FORGET ABOUT DAISUKE ALREADY?! MORE LIKE, HOW ABOUT THINKING OF YOURSELVES FOR A CHANGE?!
So then I guess this is the best idea we have for overall sales?
Essentially HDZ48 will need to use the idea of being B’z and Wands idol children who came from space.
Furthermore we’ve gotta nail down what kind of character you two will go with. What sorta feeling are we trying to create here?
Gintoki: Well they’re the kids of B’z and Wands right? So they should end their sentences with ‘~Zu’.
(Handwritten- Today’s guests are…)
Girls: Hello, we’re HDZ48 ~zu.
Shinpachi: Nah, I mean it sounds sorta like they’re from the country when they talk like that.

015
Gintoki: Then if ‘~Zu’ is no good, how about we go with ‘Z’?
Tamo: Did you cut your hair?
Kagura: I did not cut it Z---
Shinpachi: THEN IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE’S SLEEPING!!
Gintoki: Then if ‘Z’ is no good, hows ‘S’?
Kagura: Did your hair get removed?!
Shinpachi: SHE REALLY HAS BECOME AN ‘S’!!
Gintoki: Then how about this?
Kagura: Now we’re going off to commercial~ (Bold here) Because I love you selfishly I won’t hurt only you.
Tsuu: Stay tuned to this channel! (Bold here) Let’s blast through this moment with a rusted machine gun!
Shinpachi: THE ENDS OF THEIR SENTENCES ARE TOOO LOOOOOONG!!
(TN- Kagura’s ….thing is a B’z song, and Tsuu’s is a Wands song.)
Shinpachi: Why are their sentences punctuated with song titles?!
More like their love is too selfish! Before they’ve even finished talking, Tamo-san’s been rusted over!!
Gintoki: You know, you’re being awfully mouthy for someone who hasn’t come up with an alternative plan. (Bold here) I’ll break it off with you so now you go away.
Shinpachi: WHY IS THE PRODUCER INTO OOGURO MAKI?!
(TN- Gin’s thing is an Ooguro Maki song. Ooguro Maki is a singer songwriter.)
Gintoki: Ugh, this is a pain in the ass, so how about we just get B’z and Wands as the backing band?
Shinpachi: THEN THERE’S NO FRIGGIN DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OUR GIG AND A B’Z AND WANDS LIVE CONCERT!! THE GIRLS WILL BE EATEN ALIVE!!
(Sfx- Zatshh *sfft*)
Tae: Shin-chan is absolutely right.

016
Tae: While it’s great you’ve got your eye on B’z and Wands..
You’ve lost sight of what should be really important to you, Producer Sakata.
Shinpachi: S—Sister!!
Tae: I’m sorry for interrupting you all.
I heard that Kagura-chan was going to be making her debut and came to give her my encouragement.
(Handwritten- Boss lady!!)
(Handwritten- Here are refreshments.)
Tae: I had simply intended to bring refreshments and then go home, but I couldn’t just stand by and silently watch this.
Producer Sakata, you don’t seem to understand..
(Sfx Kabaah *fwap*)
(Handwritten- Uwah! This is awesome! What is it?)
Tae: You’re too busy thinking about how to maximize sales, and not thinking of how to keep the idols happy….you’re putting the customer before the performer.
But you know, an Idol’s battle isn’t with the opponent before her…
Her true enemy is the ones who sing behind her.
In short, the backing band and back up dancers…
There’s no way to know just how many up and coming idols these groups have devoured…
Shinpachi: WHAT KIND OF CONVERSATION IS THIS?!

017
Tae: Remember if you will…back when the old Asa** started..
Right up to the new Hama*A** even now…
If you really, really think about it the Idols end up being raped from the back up right?
Shinpachi: WHOA! Although that sorta thing does happen often!!
Tae: They act as if they’re the idols allies…
But the truth is the unruly backup is only aiming to dig their nails into the back of these girls..
And when they see a moment where the Idol drops her defenses then..
(Sfx- Shaaaaah *hissssssssss*)
Shinpachi: BACKUP DANCERS ARE REALLY SCARY!!
Tae: In the world of show business, talent is an unmistakable commodity.
Leaving the fans aside, your product…the commodity can become scarred by the very ones who are closest.
Shinpachi: BUT IT’S YOUR REFRESHMENTS THAT JUST KILLED AN IDOL!!!
(Handwritten- Otsuu-chan!!)
Tae: I know full well that it’s the idol’s purity that you men seek above all.
Yet you instead are firmly trying to decide on an outrageous backing band….
You need to restructure the whole band immediately.
Gintoki: For an amateur you sure have quite the mouth on you…fine. If you were to do this, who would you have as the backing band?

018
(Sfx- Jaaan *brraan*)
Tae: KYUBEI on Guitar!!
(Sfx- Bebeeen *ddtraan*)
Tae: O-on base, TSUKUYO
(Sfx- Dodoon *ttutumm*)
Tae: Sacchan on Drums!!
And OTAE on Castanets!!
(Sfx- Kacha kacha)
Tae: The four of us together makes Diamond Perfume!!
(Sfx- Kaaahh *Sheeen*)
Shinpachi: YOU ALL ARE PRETTY POISED TO EAT OTSUU-CHAN ALIVE AREN’T YOU!?

019
Gintoki: The back up band of pure stupidity came outta nowhere dammit!!
???: What are you saying?! We of DP debutted way before the lot of you did!!
Kyuubee: It seems our chance has finally come OTAE-chan.
Shinpachi: YOU HAVE NOTHING EVEN RESEMBLING A CHANCE HERE!! GET LOST!!
Tae: I understand, but remember what I said about the ones behind the idol being her true enemies…?
Gintoki: What the hell are you planning?! Moreover why castanets?! Doesn’t that make you utterly useless?!
Tsukuyo: Hey, what am I doin’ with this base thing? I guess for now I’ll be hittin’ one over the bases or something…?
Shinpachi: YOU BROUGHT HER ALONG, BUT SHE’S CLEARLY READY TO PLAY BALL AND NOT IN A BAND!!
{Not bad Producer Sakata…}
(Sfx- Gyah gyah)
{With the backing band being beautiful women like those…}
{Otsuu should have no problem being motivated.}
(Sfx- Yurari *wibble*)
Otsuu’s mom: Otsuu, if you aren’t focused they’ll really eat you alive. You’ll have to do your best.
Tsuu: …..Who am i?
Otsu’s mom: ……
OTSUUUUUUUUU!!!!
(Side text- the road of idoldom is a steep one indeed!!)
GINTAMA LESSON 445………END.
(Side text- Next issue, Kagura who advances on the path of idoldom starts with a ramming business strategy?!)

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