Gintama 475

I just realized that I'm translating a manga chapter about a naked yakuza catman protecting a Japanese cabaret girl.

Why does that statement just roll off the tongue? I've been translating this manga too long..



(Side text- Kondo in Shinpachi!!)
(TN- Right out the gate we get a brain buster. The kanji read the same as their names, but the meanings are ‘Kon= Soul’ and ‘Shin=body’. There’s just no way to translate that and get the same meaning.)
GINTAMA
Lesson 475: I’ll be a leader and so will you.
SORACHI HIDEAKI
Tae: A—are you really Shin-chan?!
Your usual appearance is…
Gorillapachi: W—what are you saying Otae-sa---sister!!
I am without a doubt your little brother Shimura Shinpachi!
{Gueheh…if I play as Otae-san’s little brother…}
{Then I can remain by her side without anyone taking her away from me!!}
{And I’ll be able to see sides of Otae-san never seen before…}
(Sfx- Kahhh *Sffft*)
Tae: Let me go.
No…
You can’t possibly be Shin-chan.

002
Gorillapachi: Wh—what are you saying Otae-sa…
Tae: Let me go I said!!
(Sfx- Gyaaaaaah)
Saccdou: It sounds like the Gorilla got done in.
(Sfx- Garaaah *clatter*)
(Sfx- Gara gara *clatter*)
Saccdou: Well he is nothing more than an inferior life form that has bannanas for 80 percent of his brain…it’s to be expected.
That won’t happen to me though.
Gin-san’s other half…Gin-san is mine!!
95 percent of my brain is…
Gin-san’s banana…
(Sfx- Gohhh *thund*)
Saccdou: Unk.
(Sfx- Yurarii *wifft*)
Catoki: I heard it…

003
Catoki: I heard m’lady’s cry…
Loud and clear.
(Sfx- Dohhh *fwooom*)
Saccdou: Aaah!!
Gin-san!!!
???: So basically….
Old man Gengai explained to you how our bodies got switched..
And in order to prove what he was saying he went and played freaky friday with all of your bodies too.
Before you could return to normal..
Sacchan who’s in Gorilla Kondo and Gorilla Kondo who’s in Shinpachi are running amok.
And then there’s you guys…
Shingane(?): Though our bodies have become like this…
We’re going to help you, Gin-san, Vice-captain.
Hijitoki: LIKE HELL YOU CAN!! YOU’RE FRIGGIN’ WORTHLESS!!

004
Ginkata: Why of all things did you guys get shifted into glasses?!
So what’s the deal with Hasegawa’s body?!
Without his sunglasses isn’t he just a corpse?!
(Handwritten- Who’s in there?)
(Sfx- Fuuunn *whooooo*)
Yamaglasses: If you have a problem, take it up with Gengai-san.
Shingane: Basically this problem is no longer just yours.
I need to get my body back too!!
Hijitoki: The fuck. He’s seriously going to give us MORE to do?! Where are the others?
Yamaglasses: Leaving the stalker duo aside, the others are trying to get their bodies back?
Shingane: Our bodies and souls may be scattered but if we put our strengths together..
Hijitoki: Hm? Hey…that’s…
Yamaglasses: It’s ‘me’!!
Yamazaki---my body is there!!
We finally found him!
Who is it? Who’s in there?
H—hey! Where are you going?
(Sfx- Dathhh *dasssh*)

005
Ginkata: No way…is he going to lead us to that monster?
Hijitoki: Who the hell is in there?! He’s being awfully silent, but he’s a hell of a lot more useful than Yamazaki ain’t he?
Yamaglasses: I—I could do that much too, Vice-Captain!!
Hijitoki: What is it? Is something there Yamazaki?!
(Sfx- Uro uro *sift sfft*)
Yamaglasses: I’m telling you that’s not Yamazaki.
(Sfx- Buriburiburii *bllloooort*)
Sadazaki: Woof. (Please clean up after me.)

006
Cop: What are you doing there? I’m going to need your name and address.
Sadazaki: Woof.
Cop: You’re going to have to come to the station with me for a bit.
(Handwritten- Hm? Aren’t you a member of law enforcement?)
Yamaglasses: Waaaaaaaaaaait!! This has become really bad!! I’m going to be discharged if this gets out!!
Waaaaaaaaaait!!
Hijitoki: Hold on dammit!! Even if we save him, isn’t he essentially useless to us too?!
Do you people really want to go back to normal?!
Yamaglasses: Of course I do!! There isn’t a person in the whole world who’d be happy being a pair of glasses or watching themselves as a dog!!
???: Hello?
???: Hello?
Oh dear, it’s you.
Why are you calling so suddenly?
???: Oh…I just wanted to inform you of something…nothing major.
Hatsu: Is this really you dear? Your voice…sounds different than usual.
???: Heh. I guess I really can’t hide anything from you.
Don’t be too surprised Hatsu….
I’ve finally---at long last…

007
Haseharu: Been..
Reemployed.
(Sfx- Gohhh *thooom*)
Ginkata: THERE’S SOMEONE HERE WHO’S FRIGGIN’ OVERJOYED!! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!
The fuck do you mean ‘reemployed’?! You call being someone’s pet employment?!
In any case this isn’t the time!! We found your body lying on the side of the street!!
Haseharu: I don’t want that trash anymore!! I—I—I’m Sadaharu-kun now!! I’ve been reemployed!!
Ginkata: I’m telling you this isn’t a job!!
Haseharu: W—wait Wait masters!!
See, if I use my nose I can find out where that monsterous cat is!
My sense of smell is one million times better than a human’s, and his scent is bearing down on my nose.
Ginkata: Seriously?
(Sfx- Buru buru *shiver shiver*)
Haseharu: Seriously. J—just give me a minute to finish marking this spot and I’ll lead you there.
Ginkata: He—he’s actually more useful as a dog…at least moreso than a human.
Maybe we oughtta leave him this way?
(Handwritten- He’s even marking stuff now.)
(Sfx- Buri buri *blooorp*)

008
Crapao: Awwright! Lets go!!
H—hey…my body isn’t moving.
Whuh?
(Sfx- zuchiiiin *dsssh*)
Ginkata: Congratulations..
Hijitoki: On your reemployment.
Crapao: I’m shiiiiiiiiiiit?!
H—hey! Don’t leave me behind Gin-saaaaannn!!
Vice-captain!! You’re really going to leave me here?!

009
Hijitoki: So um. What now?
Ginkata: Guys like that are bound to find reemployment in shitty black market enterprises right? Not much we can do to help ‘im with that.
Hijitoki: How are we going to return to normal…
(Sfx- Dann *tap*)
Ginkata: Th—
That’s!!
Tae: Everyone!!
Catoki: I won’t allow any one of you to harm m’lady!!
Shingane: Sisteeeerrr!!
Ginkata: Dammit!! Thanks to those idiots, that monster has awakened again!!
Follow him!! Don’t let him escape!!
Hurry!! Hurry!!
(Sfx- Bata bata *fwap fwap*)

010
Ginkata: L—look!!
There are two shadows chasing him!!
(Sfx- Hyagaaaahh *fwaaaaah*)
Ginkata: No way…
They’ve…
(Sfx- Hyaaan *fwissssh*)
Ginkata: Got him surrounded!!
Katsugura: Lets show him our combination moves, Sou-kun!!
{Leave it to me Kagura-chan.)
Katsugura: Here we gooooo!!

011
Kagubeth: Who is So-kun!?
Okizura: Not Kagura-chan, but Bakagura-chan.
(TN- Baka= Stupid. BaKagura.)
(Sfx- Gagooooohhh *thooook*)
(Sfx- Doogoooooh *fwoooom*)
Both: They’re doooooown!!
Ginkata: Kaguraaaa
Hijitoki: Sougooooo!!

012
(Sfx- Gogogogogo *Rmmmmble*)
Ginkata: Who’s whooooo?!
I can’t tell who the hell is whoooo!!!
Katsugura: Sou-kuuuun!! Hang in there!!
This is terrible! Why would you do such a thing?!
Kagubeth: I am saying to you, do not do sappy things with that body, yes?!
I will kill you Zuraaaa!!
Ginkata: Eh?! That’s Zura?
Katsugura: Not Zura, but leader.
(Marked out part on sign= Elizabeth.// Sou-kun.)
Katsugura: Just stop struggling and accept fate. You were the former leader and former Sou-kun. Isn’t it about time you did as everyone else and found your new roles?
We’re just innocent civilians living in this city, and you are the evil terrorists that terrorize us.
Kagubeth: You are the terrorist!! Do not dump your criminal records on others!!
Okizura: Shut up, Vomitbeth. It’s hard enough looking at you.
Kagubeth: You shut up, Trashzura!
Okizura: Not Trahzura, but Sou-kun.

013
Katsugura: You two should try harder to become friendlier towards each other!
The Katsura and Elizabeth combo is more harmonious than that.
If you can’t emulate our friendliness then you’ll never be a combo that can destroy the Bakfu.
Kagubeth: I’m telling you not to touch him, yes!! It is creepy!
We cannot let them team up, uh-huh! If they do, Edo is doomed!!
Okizura: That’s the way Vomitbeth. That’s what makes us patriots.
Kagubeth: I am not Vomitbeth or a patriot! Are you and Zura a perfect combo already?!
Okizura: Whether I’m a police officer or a patriot or looking at any other viewpoint, it doesn’t change that I’m after your head Katsura.
Katsugura: Hmph. So you are Katsura after all?
Okizura: Not Katsura, but Sou-kun.
Kaatsugura: Not Sou-kun, but Katsura.
???: This is getting confusing dammit!! What kind of fight are you two having?!
Ginkata: We don’t have time for this anyway!! Don’t you guys get it…?
(Sfx- Gogogogo *rmmmble*)
Tae: Everyone…
Shingane: Sister!!

014
Tae: Please…just stop chasing Dozaemon-san.
I just wanted him to live peacefully with me….I didn’t think this would happen…!!
Moreover everyone is acting so strange…
What on earth is going on?
Shingane: Sister this is…
Ginkata: Yeah, uh I think talking glasses will only serve to make this complicated situation y’know..more complicated.
Hijitoki: Otae…the truth is that Dozaemon-san is a certain person’s pet.
Maybe he doesn’t remember who this person is, but it’s important we return him to his owner.
Couldn’t we convince you to give him up somehow?
Tae: I won’t give Dozaemon-san to you.
If things were as usual I would believe you without a second thought but this whole day today has been strange.
Ginkata: Wh—what do you mean strange?
???: That’s right..
Quit going on and on about that Otae-san!!
I don’t know about the others but Gin-sa…Toshi is and always will be my Toshi.
(Sfx- Gashiii *gssshh*)
Saccdou: Right Toshi?

015
{Shut the hell up Sachaaaaannnnnn.}
Tae: See? This is totally strange.
Ginkata: Wh—what’s so strange about this? Kondo-san and I have always been buddy buddy. We’ve been close since we were kids.
(Sfx- Gori gori *rub rub*)
Saccdou: We could become nipple buddies though.
(TN- Chikuba no tomo means ‘childhood friends’ and as we learned from good ol’ Asaemon, ‘Chikubi’ means nipple.)
(Handwritten- I’m sorry for cheating on you…I knew that this body is the one for me.)
Ginkata: I’m guessing you just didn’t know, but we’ve always been close like this.
See, to be straight up we’re all homo in the Shinsengumi.
That’s why Kondo-san fell in love with you.
(Sfx- Gohhh *thooook*)
Tae: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HOMO!?
Hijitoki: C—calm down Otae!!
He’s been like that for a long time!!
Tae: You’ve all been acting strange!!
Gorillapachi: Sister, just stop this already!!
What’s wrong with siblings bathing and sleeping together?
Right To—Gin-san?!
Hijitoki: Y—yeah…totally. See Shinpachi’s always been this passionate about you.
He’s always talking about it with us guys…that being siblings doesn’t matter…that there’s no distinction…turned on all year this one is.

016
Hijitoki: Anyway it’s not a big deal if guys get in the bath together righ---
(Sfx- Gohhh *thoook*)
Tae: Who’s a man?!
Catoki: All of you filth back away from m’lady!!
My master is m’lady, and I an’t going anywhere.
(Sfx- Zunnn *doom*)
Ginkata: To what extent is that asshead attached to her?!
Hijitoki: Guh…we’ve got no choice….it’s come to this.
We’re gonna have to use our strength to drag your soul outta him.
You ready for this?

017
Shingane: We’re ready…
Our souls may have been separated from or bodies but our objectives are the same.
As one organization of comrades….
We uphold freedom and order with our leaders.
???: Is that so?
Then your wages…
(Sfx- chakiii *clack*)
Both: Will of course come from there…the Yorozuya/Shinsengumi
(Side text- At long last, a combination play?!)
GINTAMA LESSON 475………END.