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Translations: Bleach 592 by BadKarma , Gintama 506 (2)
translation-needs-proofread

Gintama 485

There’s filth that not even a matsuibou can get to.

en
+ posted by Bomber D Rufi as translation on Mar 14, 2014 00:10 | Go to Gintama

-> RTS Page for Gintama 485


Did time stop for the rest of the internet too? I mean Kiriwoterrible got more thanks and views than Gintama did last week. That's...kinda weird. Or maybe I'm the only one who's frozen in the confines of time and space...

Hi wa mata noboru only.


(Big text- Shiroyasha draws his blade.)
GINTAMA
SORACHI HIDEAKI
(Bottom text- We’re in the midst of counting the WJ cover all star votes!! Here’s a center color page as thanks for all you support! The cover will be revealed on WJ #21 (Out Monday April 21st!!)

002
(To quote an alternate title for the ‘shop’ song on EarthBound..’Hurry up and buy somethin’ would ya?!)

003
{Last time on Gintama..}
{The guardian of the ‘Universe clock’ that controls all of the time in the universe entrusted Gintoki with the care of the timepiece. However Gintoki mistakenly broke the clock and subsequently stopped all of the time in the universe. As the sole beings that can still move about time, the yorozuya have now become Time guardians, and are trying to return the world’s time to what it once was by using the clock. However all they have managed to do is to jump backward and forward between the future and the past in their efforts to fix the clock, all the while causing certain someone’s to experience a future of misfortune.}
Pi**lo: MAKANKOUSAPPOOOO!!
(Side text- Pi**lo?!)
(TN- Makankousappo ‘Or special beam cannon’ in the dub is one of Pi**lo’s attacks in DBZ. It’s also a sort of meme apparently.)
(Sfx- Dooonn *thooom*)
Lesson 485: There’s filth that not even a matsuibou can get to.
(TN- A Matsuibou from my understanding is sorta like a swifter thing or a duster.)
Pi**lo: MANKANKOUSAPPOOOO!!
Gintoki: It’s no good guys. No matter how many times we try to fix it, either gramps or Hasegawa-san ends up dying in the future.
Shinpachi: HOW COME THE FUTURE ENDED UP THIS WAAAAAAAY?! MORE LIKE, THEY’RE BOTH DEAD NOW AREN’T THEY?!

004
Shinpachi: What on earth happened?! We’re witnessing a future where the two of them got piereced by a Makankousappo!! How di we get here?!
Gintoki: I really don’t remember the particulars.
But what’s become painfully clear at this point is that their deaths have nothing to do with the mankankousappou or being hit by a truck, and everything to do…
With us.
Basically anytime we make contact with gramps to get him to fix this clock, it ends up tripping their death flag.
(Text: Contact with Gengai//Someone becomes fated to die.//Gengai gets hit by a truck.//Hasegawa gets hit by a truck.//Gengai and Hasegawa get killed by the Mankankousappo.)
Gintoki: At that point someone’s fated to die. Even if we stop the truck, or Piccolo, there’s no way to avoid someone being killed.
There’s only one real way to avoid anyone being killed and that’s not to make contact with them.
Shinpachi: B—but then how will we get the clock fixed?!
Other than Gengai-san, there’s no one else who can fix that clock!!
Are you saying we should leave the world halted like this?!
Gintoki: Nah. I’m saying there’s only one route to world salvation…
(Text- Gengai gets hit by a truck// Hasegawa gets hit by a truck//Gengai and Hasegawa…)
Shinpachi: No way…
You aren’t suggesting we let Hasegawa-san die…
In Gengai-san’s place?!
Kagura: B—but that is…
Shinpachi: Is there really no way to save the world without sacrificing someone?
….and if we’re to do this how can we possibly choose?
Gintoki: Hey now, who said we’d have to do that?

005
Gintoki: If someone’s gotta die then…
Then it’s better to not fix the clock at all.
(Clock: The battery has run out of power. Please exchange it for a new one.)
Gintoki: Why don’t we just go and change the battery?!
Shinpachi: …What is that Gin-san.
(Sfx- Fuwahaha)
Gintoki: I took one more look at the clock and found that one side has a digital display. The fact that it’s stopped just like our current situation means in short…
That this clock didn’t stop because it was broken in the first place. I just screwed up when looking at it.
The clock’s battery is dead so---
Kagura: If this moron would die…
We would not be going through this, yes?
(Sfx- Zuru zuru *sssshhh*)
Kagura: Our efforts up until now have been meaningless, yes?
(Handwritten- You should examine the clock properly.)
Shinpachi: To think the battery life being depleted was the problem…and just when we were in a rush to make a decision..

006
Kagura: But this is good. Now other than this idiot, no one will have to die. As long as we exchange the battery.
And then everyone will return to normal, yes?
Shinpachi: More like, why does a clock that controls the entire universe’s time flow operate on a double A battery?
Kagura: This is not just a double A problem, nope. This battery does not appear to be something that we can get on earth.
Shinpachi: Then let’s return to the scene of entry.
Maybe the Time guardian in charge of this clock might have spare batteries…
Shinpachi: Th—that’s!!
Shinpachi: The Shinsengumi members are investigating the scene of the accident…
Kagura: It is not good. They will soon take everything from the scene, yes?
Okita: Hijikata-san, what’s that?
Hijikata: Dunno. Maybe it’s some sort of battery?
Shinpachi: Th—that’s….
Okita: Hijikata-san, what’s that?
Hijikata: Dunno. Maybe it’s some sort of battery?
Shinpachi: There it is!! There’s no mistaking it, Hijikata-san has the spare battery!!
Kagura: It looks like we found him just before he got it, uh-uh!
Shinpachi: Thank goodness…now we can fix the clock…

007
(Sfx- Nigiihh *grip*)
Kagura: Time stopped just as he grabbed the battery.
(Sfx- Fugigigi *griiind*)
(Sfx- Gahhh *frwaap*)
Kagura: He is holding it with his full strength. I cannot get it from him, yes?
Gintoki: Move. You’re doing it the stupid way.
LET GO DAMMIT!! DO YOU HOLD YOUR D**K AS HARD AS YOU DO THAT BATTERY?! HUH!?
Shinpachi: Hitting him isn’t going to solve our problem!!
Kagura: URAAAAAHHH!!!
(Sfx- Gasu gasu *thok thok*)
Shinpachi: AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU HITTING OVER THERE?!
Gintoki: What the hell man. Why is he grasping that battery so hard? Is it his granfather’s memento or something?
Shinpachi: Why would his Grandpa be moved by a battery?! It’s obvious this is the result of the time stop!! Just using force isn’t going to work!!
Shinpachi: Oh! Why don’t we just move the clock forward a little bit to a time in the future where Hijikata-san lets the battery go.
Kagura: I get it. That is a good idea yes!!
(Sfx- Gigigigi *griiiind*)
Kagura: It moved forward, uh-huh.
Gintoki: He’s still holding on to it though.
Shinpachi: It looks like he just got back. Maybe we should move time forward a little more.
Kagura: He’s still holding it.
Gintoki: …what does he gain by holding onto it while he sleeps?
Shinpachi: Maybe he forgot that he’s still holding it? Let’s go forward a little more.
A little more…
A little more…

008
(Sfx- Chiin *diing*)
{HE HELD ONTO THE BATTERY FOR THE ENTIRETY OF HIS LIFESPAN?!}
Gintoki: Duuuuuude Seriously?! What the hell just happened? Why did a battery he should have held on to for a moment turn into a lifetime commitment?! Hell, he’s still holding onto it in his friggin casket!!
(Handwritten- More like there are nothing but batteries in that casket!!)
Shinpachi: What did the battery do to him anyway? This is creepy! No matter how I think about it, it feels like we’re coming between those two!!
Kagura: It seems that we will not be able to get the battery away from him, yes?
Gintoki: We’re not going to get a chance to take the battery from him in the future.
If we’re gonna get it,
Okita: Hijikata-san, what’s that?
Hijikata: Dunno. Maybe it’s some sort of battery?
Gintoki: We have to shake it out of him here and now!!
Anything goes!!
(Sfx- Fugigigi *griiiind*)
(Sfx- Guii guii *nnngh nngh*)
Kagura: If the three of us work together we can manage something!
Shinpachi: Don’t overdo it!! Just using force will…
(Sfx- Zuboooooh *toooook*)
???: It’s out!!
But not the battery….
It’s his arm.

009
Shinpachi: WHAT HAVE YOU DOOOOONE?! THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I SAID TO STOOOP!!
Hijikata-saaaannn!! If we rewind time will it have any effect?! What are we supposed to do?!
Gintoki: There’s no helping it really. This guy is literally holding the world’s fate in his hands!! At least this way we can get the battery back!!
Kagura: Nnngh! Nngh! It is no good. His fist is in the way and I cannot get to the battery.
Shinpachi: And in the end he STILL holds the fate of the world in his hands doesn’t he?!
Gintoki: Calm down wouldya? In this situation if we speed up time his grip is sure to weaken and the battery will fall out.
Shinpachi: But he’s more than likely to find out that he’s missing an ARM!!
Gintoki: For now we’ll just put this matsuibou in place of his missing arm.
He can even dust for trash in narrow confines so he’s slightly more useful than before. No one will be the wiser.
Shinpachi: Even the matsuibou isn’t THAT useful!!
Gintoki: Awwright, move the clock forward a little Kagura.
Kagura: Here we go, Uhuh!
(Sfx- Gigig *Grind*)
Okita: HIjikata-san, what’s that?
Hijikata: Yeah…
This is my battery powered super electronic matsuibou RX.
{THE BATTERY FUSED WITH THE MATSUIBOU!!!!}

010
Shinpachi: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! HOW DID HE GRAB THE BATTERY WITHOUT A HAND?! WHY DID THE MATSUIBOU EVOLVE?!
Okita: Hijikata-san, what’s that?
Hijikata: Yeah…
This is my battery powered super electronic matsuibou RX.
It has the power to squeeze an entire mayonnaise container out all at once.
Shinpachi: RATHER THAN EVOLVING IT DEGRADED?! MOREOVER WE’RE NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO GET THE BATTERY BACK LIKE THIS!! WHAT DO WE DO?!
Gintoki: Mm?
Hey, something’s peeking from across that wall…
Shinpachi: Elizabeth-san!!
Elizabeth: Katsura-san look. There’s a UFO accident near us.
Shinpachi: Why is she here?! Could it be that she was keeping watch for her enemies, the Shinsengumi?
Katsura: Elizabeth!!
Don’t relax your guard!! The enemy is right before you!!
Elizabeth!!
Don’t relax your guard!! The enemy is right before you!!
If you think you can stop this ball that I put my heart and soul into, I’d like to see you try!!
Shinpachi: WHERE DO THEY THINK THEY’RE PLAYING CATCHBALLLLL?!
Katsura: Elizabeth!!
Don’t relax your guard!! The enemy is right before you!!
If you think you can stop this ball that I put my heart and soul into, I’d like to see you try!!
Shinpachi: THE ENEMY REALLY IS REALLY RIGHT BEFORE YOU!!

011
Shinpachi: Those terrorists are playing with the Shinsengumi right beside them!! Though obviously only idiots would get stuck in such an idiotic place!!
Kagura: But this is good. I have thought of a way we can use him, yes?
First we will take a piece of the Katsurabou and use it.
(Sfx- Zubobooooh *plop*)
Shinpachi: WAAAAIT!! What are you doing to that Katsurabouuu?!
Kagura: Then we switch the mayora’s matsuibou with the Katsurabou, yes?
(Sfx- Gashiiin *tunk.*)
Shinpachi: Geez you’re making this look as casual as playing with plastic models! Do you think human bodies are that simple to create?
Gintoki: Then what, we put the matsuibou here and…
Kagura: Since he is playing catch ball he will end up throwing the battery right to us, yes?
Shinpachi: Forget him throwing it to us!! For one thing if you suddenly found that a matsuibou is where your arm used to be, wouldn’t you be a little bit surprised?!
Kagura: It does not matter as long as the clock is fixed. Then everything will return to normal, yes?
Now we will play ball!!
(Sfx- Pusu pusu *shhhhsh*)

012
Shinpachi: THE MATSUIBOU’S GOT TOO MUCH POWEEEEEEEER!!!
The entire vicinity has been turned into scorched earth!!
Forget about catch ball, the ball has bored a hole into the wall and is never coming back!!
Kagura: It is no longer a ball at this point. It is just a rocket punch, yes?
Kastura: Behold!! This is my Matsui cyclone!!
Shinpachi: Why and how did he get so used to using the matsuibou?!
Where did the matsuibou get to?!
The battery is inside of that thing!! Where did it go?!
Oh no…the battery couldn’t have disappeared…
Gintoki: Wait, it’s floating right there right?
Shinpachi: Yeah! That’s it!!

013
Shinpachi: Thank goodness…the battery’s sa—
(Sfx- GOH *THOK*)
Kyuubee: Otae-chan! Look out!!
{THIS ISN’T SAFE AT AAAAAAAAALLLLL!!!}
Shinpachi: SISTEEEEEEEER!! Look what happened to her!! We just walked in on the moment where that thing hits her in the head at full force!!
(Sfx- GOHH *THOK*)
Gintoki: Well shit. In about 0.001 seconds the matsuibou and the battery are both going to be ash.
Shinpachi: Um, I’m more worried about my sister here!!
I’ve gotta find a way to soften the inpact…
(Sxf- Gah gah *tok tok*)
Shinpachi: It’s no good! I can’t slow the matsuibou down at all! At this rate, sister is….!!
Gintoki: Pattsan, the reality is that we can’t do anything to change where the punch lands…
What we can change is here.

014
(Sfx- Goh *thok*)
(Sfx- Garaaan *clatter*)
(Sfx- Goron *tunk*)
(Sfx- TSUH)
Shinpachi: YOU BROKE THE IMPACT SOOOOOUND?!
WHY’D YOU DO THAAAAAAT?! WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO?!
Gintoki: ‘THOK’ sounds pretty painful yeah? But ‘Tk’ doesn’t sound too bad does it?
Shinpachi: THAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?!
Gintoki: Not deceptive enough eh? Well how about this.
(Handwritten- I said ‘Tk’ or something like it I think~)
Shinpachi: WHAT KIND OF IMPACT SOUND EFFECT IS THAT?! Moreover how are you writing that?!
Gintoki: Okay then, how about Tk-san?
Shinpachi: Who’s Tk-san?! Now the impact sound effect has two legs?!
Tk: Otae-chan look out!!
Shinpachi: Why are YOU saying that?! That’s Kyuubee-san’s lineeee!!!
Gintoki: And then Kyuubee can have the leftover ‘tsu’ to and the one stick here. We can split them into two. She’ll be more than happy that we gave her two balls and probably keep mum about this whole subject.
Shinpachi: HOW ON EARTH ARE YOU USING THOOOOSE?!

015
Gintoki: Awesome. Deception complete.
Tk: Otae-chan look out!!
Shinpachi: THE IMPACT SOUND EFFECT FROM THE ROCKET PUNCH IS NOW TRYING TO PREVENT THE ROCKET PUNCH FROM HAPPENING!! WHAT KIND OF MESSED UP SITUATION IS THIS?!
Gintoki: Tk-san might end up breaking a few bones here, and maybe Otae might fly into a rage…
Shinpachi: Wait! Nothing changed!! The Rocket punch is still going to hit her head on!!
(Sfx- Gigii *Griiind*)
Gintoki: Awwright, move the clock forward Kagura.
{All I remember ends there.}
{I lost my memories right before the rocket punch hit me, but at that time I remember only hearing a gentle voice that I’d never forget.}
{Tk.}
{That voice will now be at my side, soft, tender and full of encouragement from now on.}
Shinpachi: WHHHHHHHHHY?!

016
Shinpachi: WHY IS SHE MARRYING AN IMPACT SOUND EFFECT?!
Kagura: Well she did lose her memories. IT is when a girl is weak that she looks for someone gentle to support her. You did a good job, Tk-niisan.
Shinpachi: Who the hell is Tk-niisan?! Don’t be an idiot you idiot!! And now he’s completely personified isn’t he?!
Gintoki: Seems like this time where time no longer moves has given birth to a monster. To think that a impact sound effect could become real in this place and draw breath just like you and me is amazing.
Shinpachi: BUT IT’S A MONSTER YOU GAVE BIRTH TO!!
I WON’T ACKNOWLEGE THIS!! NOT THIS MARRIAGE AND ESPECIALLY NOT THIS FUTURE!! HURRY UP AND TURN THE CLOCK BACK!!
(Handwritten- Boss lady is so pretty!)
Gintoki: Aw c’mon really? This might have been our chance to get the battery back…
Kagura move the clock forward.
Priest: And now will the bride and groom seal their union..
With a trade of rocket punches…
Shinpachi: WHY IS THE ROCKET PUNCH BEING USED AS A WEDDING RIIIIIIIIIIING?!
Priest: Rocket punch and rocket punch…

017
Gintoki: When their punches collide with one another they won’t only be trading fists…
But the battery he’s clenching will finally appear too.
Shinpachi: Trading rocket punches means that sorta thing?! What newlyweds trade vows like that?!
Moreover instead of a rocket punch…
Isn’t that just sister’s fiiiiiiist?!
Gintoki: There it iiiiiiiis!!
The battery finally appeared!!
With this we can return…
The world’s time to normal!!
And what has happened up until now…hell, everything can be reversed!!

018
Gintoki: Find iiiiiit!!!
Where is it!! Where did it go!?
Shinpachi: Um…
Gin-san this is…
It’s not double A but…
Triple A.
{At that moment…}
{The entire universe’s time…}
{Really did stop.}

019
(Sfx- Gosoohh *sift*)
(Sfx- Kacha kacha kacha *clack clack clack*)
(Sfx- Jiririririrri *riiiiiiing*)
(Sfx- Gohhh *THOK*)
Gintoki: SHUT UUUUUUP!!!
I SAID I AIN”T GETTING UP!!
Huh…?
….I feel like I was already awake though.
Well…whatever.
(Handwritten- Go get me this month’s and last month’s rent along with an ear and kidneys on the double!!)
(Side text – That’s no good.)
GINTAMA LESSON 485………….END.

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