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Translations: Bleach 600 (2)
translation-needs-proofread

Gintama 487

ID photos are proof of reality’s harshness.

en
+ posted by Bomber D Rufi as translation on Mar 28, 2014 02:24 | Go to Gintama

-> RTS Page for Gintama 487


Catch 22. Working a job makes it harder to read manga, but the job is what makes it possible to have manga. Unless you're a leech who reads bad translations on Mangafox for free by translators who treat translating as an actual (unpaid) job at the expense of a social life.

Hi wa mata noboru only.


???: Nope, No good.
This one sucks too.
Oooh. This one’s close but still no cigar.
Gintoki: Dude, whatsmatter with these? They all look the same to me.
Hasegawa: This is gonna be the picture I use when I go job hunting…
GINTAMA
(Side text- Madao in the middle of making a huge mistake…)

002
Hasegawa: I can’t go looking for work with something like this.
It’s just, I dunno. The picture on the resume could be what screws up everything.
Before I start on my job search, I should take a decent picture in a good photo machine. That’s what I’m looking for.
Gintoki: For one thing, you gotta stop thinking that way.
Hasegawa: Maybe I’m just splitting hairs here but… There’s just something about this photo that seems…useless.
Gintoki: Nah lets keep it real. It’s the dude in the picture who’s useless.
Hasegawa: Maybe I’m just splitting hairs here but…I feel like the way the picture was taken is contributing to this air of uselessness I’m feeling.
Gintoki: Nah let’s keep it real. Take off the damn glasses, idiot.
Hasegawa: In any case using this as my image when seeking employment is a bad idea.
For one thing the color of my face is messed up, my eyes are half open….I look like the sorta guy with a previous conviction….like this is a mug shot.
Hmm..
(Sign- Straight up! Bold!! Taking pictures bring out the brightest part of your face!!)
(Sign- Quick and pretty ID photos.)
Hasegawa: Looks like this is my only choice.
Awwright…lets try this one.

003
Hasegawa: Hey, um could you spot me some cash? I’m kinda low on funds if you know what I mean.
Gintoki: Dude, no matter how many times you take photos it won’t matter.
I mean when you look in a mirror what you see is your face right? You can force your cerebral cortex to edit all the parts you don’t like out but it doesn’t change a thing.
Truly, people are always two times more criminal in their appearance than they think for their entire lifetime.
And this truth is reflected in cruelly but honestly in the pictures they take.
It’s not the pictures fault…
It’s just photos always show that ugliness twicefold when they are taken. Just embrace your true face man.
(Sfx- Uiiiin *Veeeen*)
Hasegawa: This person isn’t just two times uglier, he’s eight times a different person than me!!
(Side text- Looks like the face of popular music!!)
GINTAMA
Lesson 487: ID photos are proof of reality’s harshness.
SORACHI HIDEAKI
(TN- A running theme through this chapter is Madao’s likeness to the deaf (or not deaf) Japanese ‘Beethoven’ Mamoru Samuragochi who has been in the news lately because his music was revealed to be ghostwritten by another guy, and the fact that he may not actually be deaf. The picture here looks very similar to him at the time of the incident.)

004
Hasegawa: This isn’t even about the picture playing tricks on the eyes!! Who the hell is this?! And where did all that hair come from?!
Gintoki: I’m telling you that’s your fantasy. This is reality.
The life that you’ve been living up until now was the result of an overuse of ghostwriting.
Hasegawa: Who’s a ghostwriter?!
Gintoki: Did you adjust the chair in the booth?
Hasegawa: How would the height of my seat effect what I look like to this extent?!
Gintoki: Naw man, the seat was too low. That’s why you can see your ancestor staring at you from the afterlife in this picture. See? He even has your glasses.
He’s your protector spirit Gostoraita-san.
Hasegawa: WHO THE HELL IS GOSTORAITA-SAN?!
(TN- Gintoki’s kinda using kanji to turn this into a name. The kanji he’s using is ‘Large ghost lightening’ which phonetically sounds like ‘Ghostwriter’. I left it as is for effect that no one will care about.)
Hasegawa: Moreover it’s not like glasses are passed down through the ages in my family!
Gintoki: For now lets just adjust the chair so it’s a little bit higher. This time when we take the picture your ancestor shouldn’t ruin things.
Hasegawa: Um….okay, this time I’m in the picture…
But now there’s a ghost behind the ghost behind ghost in the backround!!
(Sfx- Viiiin *Veeeen*)
Gintoki: Guess that must be Gostoraita-san’s Ghostwriter. And behind him is Gostoraita-san’s ghostwriter’s ghostwriter…
Hasegawa: How many damn ghostwriters are going to cram into that tiny ass space?!

005
Hasegawa: What the hell is going on here?! Is there a ghost cameraman behind this machine or something?
Gintoki: Hey…have a look at the menu on the operator.
(Sign- Please choose the mode of your liking.)
(Left to right: Resume usage//Passport usage//License usage//Falsification of a past record.)
Gintoki: There’s falsification of a past record here right? Look right there.
Hasegawa: Why is such a shady looking mode loaded on here?!
Gintoki: Well in a shady town like Kabuki-chou, I’m really not surprised. Just choose that one.
Machine: Now preparing to take a resume photo.
Gintoki: See? Sounds fine to me.
Machine: Where is it that you would like to work next?
Gintoki: It’s split into another mode.
(Sign: 1) Creative work// 2) Office work// 3) Physical labor// 4) Trade.)
Gintoki: I guess Creative work?
Machine: Please elaborate by answering these specific questions.
(Sign 1) High income work// 2) A light hearted workplace// 3) Anyplace with work worth doing.)
Gintoki: Geez. This thing sure asks a lot of questions considering it’s just supposed to take a damn photo.
Hasegawa: I guess one…the high income.
Machine: Please elaborate even further.
(Sign 1) Thereby to meet the opposite sex.// 2) Thereby protecting my family and getting them back. 3) Thereby gaining social status.)
Gintoki: Wow…could this thing be some sorta high spec photo machine? It’s asking some pretty outrageous stuff.
Hasegawa: Number two! I want my family back!!
Machine: Here is your clear answer.
{This is impossible for the likes of you.}
Hasegawa: I WANT TO BREAK THIS THIIIIIIIIIIIING!!

006
Hasegawa: You ask me all of those questions just to hit me with thaaaaat?!
Take my fucking picture!! Why should I give up searching for a job right before taking my picture for the resumeeee?!
(Sign ‘Please adjust your choice and then choose again. 1) Creative Ghostwriter// 2) Business Ghost writer// 3) Physical labor Ghostwriter// 4) A Ghostwriter of a Ghostwriter.)
Hasegawa: HEEEEEEEY!! ALL OF MY CHOICES ARE BASICALLY GHOSTWRITING AREN’T THEY!?
Gintoki: That’s what you get for having high ambitions and shit. For now lets just choose number five…’Part time Ghostwriter’.
Hasegawa: WHAT’S A PART TIME GHOSTWRITER?!
Machine: Now taking your picture.
Gintoki: For now just focus on taking a picture. That’s good enough.
Machine: Sit on the seat with your back straightened and adjust the seat so you can see into the camera lens.
Hasegawa: How’s this?
(Sfx- Gachaan *clank*)
Machine: The seat is slightly too high.
Hasegawa: More?
(Sfx- Gachaaan *clank*)
Machine: The seat is slightly too high.
(Sfx- Gachaaan *clank*)
Machine: The seat is slightly too high.
Your head is slightly too high.
Hasegawa: ARE YOU LOOKIN’ DOWN ON MEEEEEEEEE?!

007
Hasegawa: This thing just said ‘head’ just now didn’t it? I heard it!!
(TN- ‘Zu’ or ‘head’ sounds like ‘Izu’ or chair.)
Gintoki: Calm down. It’s just a stupid picture taking machine’s nonsense.
(Sfx- Bata bata *fwap fwap*)
Machine: For reals dude. Your chair’s like high man.
Hasegawa: And why is it talking like a slacker now?! Just because you think I should be a ghostwriter your attitude towards me changed?! This is job discrimination dagnabit!!
Machine: Awwright. Imma take it now~
Hasegawa: Heeeey!! Wait! Wait! Wait!
Machine: Check it out!
(Sfx- Kashaah *click*)
(On picture- Just now a job hunting dude with sunglasses came)
Hasegawa: WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE A FUNTIMES PHOTO BOOTH PIC?!
The way this thing talks and takes photos indicates a lack of seriousness in this damn machine!!
Why are even the ghostwriters participating in this farce dammit!?
(First pic- Representin’ the glasses crew. // Second pic- Just now a job hunting dude with sunglasses came.// Third pic- No matter where and when everyone should have their glasses on, ‘kay?)
Hasegawa: HOW CAN I POSSIBLY USE THESE ON MY RESUME?!
Gintoki: Hey, Look at this.
Somehow the picture taking settings turned into settings for the kinda chick you want.
Hasegawa: Even the damn settings have become useless?
(Sign- Photo taking settings// Girl type.)
Gintoki: Dammit. Don’t they have any other types?
There are the big boobed nurses, the lewd wife with ….man this thing needs to change up with it’s options.
Hasegawa: What kinda shop is this?!
(Sign from top to bottom- Big boobed nurse type// Lewd wife type // Sadistic female teacher type// Masochistic yankee// Pure but forbidden Librarian// Captured woman..)

008
Gintoki: I guess here since we have no idea what to do, it’d be better to have a chick who’s gonna take the lead.
(Sfx- Pihh *beep*)
(Sign- That older girl type.)
Gintoki: So how about an older chick?
Machine: For goodness sake. You’re out loitering around at a photo machine playing games in the middle of the day instead of working…
Sit down in that chair on the double!! Your father has some harsh words for you!
Hasegawa: ISN’T THIS CHICK A LITTLE TOO VERY OOOOOLD?!
Who’s my dad here?! This machine has totally become a mother hasn’t it?!
Machine: Straighten your back and look me in the eye.
Do you really think you’ll find a job misbehaving the way you do?
Hasegawa: I CAME HERE BECAUSE I AM LOOKING FOR A JOB!!
Tadokoro-san’s son Masashi-kun has joined a major company and works as in their IT department…
Back in the day when you guys raced you always beat him…when did you become the one playing catch up I wonder~
Hasegawa: ENOUGH WITH THE WARBLING OLD BAT!! TAKE MY PICTURE NOW!!
(Sfx- VIiiin *veeeen*)
Machine: If only you could return to those days….I know you want to don’t you?
Hasegawa: WHO ON EARTH DID YOU TAKE A REMNISCENCE PICTURE OF?! IS THIS THE GHOSTWRITER BACK IN HIS YOUTH?! WHAT ARE YOU FORCEFULLY USING ANOTHER PERSON’S MONEY TO PHOTOGRAPH?!

009
Hasegawa: Enough looking at the past!! This isn’t the time for it!!
I want to take strides into the future, and that’s why I came here to take a picture!!
(Sfx- Kachaaah *Sshff*)
Machine: Well…even you…
Can still make that kind of face.
I’m relieved….if that’s the case you should be fine.
Now hurry up and get out of this cramped room and grab the future with your own two hands.
(Sfx- Uiiiiin *Veeen*)
(Note- Mom is going to be out late tonight, so eat the omurice in the fridge with daddy. –Mama.)
Hasegawa: A HANDWRITTEN NOOOOOOOOOOTE?!
YOU TOOK A PICTURE OF MY FACE JUST NOW RIGHT?! THIS OLD BAT DIDN’T TAKE A PICTURE OF A DAMN THING!! IT’S ALL OVER!!

010
Gintoki: Shoulda known that mom is gonna spoil her son. That’s no good man.
Lets boldly choose the father type here.
(Sign- Dad type.)
(Sfx- Pishii *beep*)
(Sfx- Veeen)
(Note- I ate the omurice already. –Papa.)
Hasegawa: How is this a bold choice?! Aw c’mon Daaaaaaaaad!!!
Why is this connected with the mom thing from earlier?!
Machine: It isn’t connected.
(Sfx- Veeen *viiiin*)
(Paper- Divorce proceeding)
Hasegawa: He divorced her over omuriceee?! Dad’s super complicated!!!
This is no good dammit! This thing doesn’t want to take my picture at all!! There’s no way to use this stupid machine is hard to understand and use!!
???: Hmph.
Giving up just because you are unable to take a photograph for your resume?
You haven’t even begun working yet have you!!
If you give in here then what will happen?!
Hasegawa: Zuracchi?
Katsura: Not Zuracchi but Katsura.
Hasegawa: Whoa…that recruiting suit…don’t tell me…
Gintoki: Zura…you finally decided to stop being a patriot or something?
Katsura: I’m not looking for employment! This is for all of patriotdom!!

011
Katsura: If I truly intend to disturb and eventually destroy the Shinsengumi, I have schemed a plan where I infiltrate enemy territory.
In order to do that I will need to produce a photo to include on my falsified resume paperwork that will be subsequently relinquish to the Shinsengumi.
Hasegawa: You’re going to take a picture to do something that dangerous?!
Katsura: You two haven’t noticed this photo booth’s true specs.
It’s use for different types of falsehoods is indicated by this being written here.
(Sign- Criminals can use this too!!)
Hasegawa: Something truly incredible is nonchalantly written on that thing!!
Katsura: You may emulate me in the ways of using this machine like a true patriot.
To begin with I will select the falsified records creation mode…
(Sfx- Pihhh *beep*)
Machine: Taking falsified records photograph.
Please adjust the chair to a shallow height so that escape is convenient and expedient. Also set the camera lens so that you may check your immediate surroundings to ensure no one is nearby. It is also important that you confirm your escape route beforehand so that if an emergency arises you can escape immediately and avoid arrest. Moreover collaborate a proper alibi with your friends so that their words do not betray you…
Hasegawa: THAT WARNING IS TOO LOOOOOOOONNNG!!
He’s going to burn out before he even takes the damn picture!! To what extent do you have to push yourself to take a picture?
Machine: Please check for safety.
Please check for safety.
(Sfx- Hah hah)
Machine: If things are safe, please adjust the chair’s height.
The chair is too low.
(Sfx- Zeeh zeeh hyuuh)
Katsura: L—like this?
Machine: The chair is too low.
(Sfx- Hyuhh zeeh*)
Katsura: More?
Machine: The chair is too low.

012
Machine: Payment….
Hasegawa: IT EVEN DEMANDS BRIBES?!
Machine: This payment may keep the information that this is a falsification from leaking to the cops.
While it doesn’t matter to me, don’t you think this payment is too low?
Hasegawa: IT’S THREATENING HIIIIIIIM!? IT’S ASKING FOR PAYMENT SO THAT THIS TRANSACTION STAYS SECRET!!
(Sfx- Charriiin *clack*)
Machine: You’ll keep quiet too yeah?
Katsura: But of course Photo machine-sama. I wouldn’t want to be on your bad side.
Hasegawa: WHAT’S WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP!?
(Sfx- Pan pan *clap clap*)
(Sfx- Gararara *clatter*)
Machine: Bring on the booze! Tonight we party!!
Hasegawa: AND NOW ENTERTAINERS HAVE SHOWN UP FROM SOMEWHERE!!

013
(Sfx- Chanka chanka *twang twang*)
(Sfx- Kashaaah *click*)
Katsura: And this is how you take a simple yet effective falsified photo.
Hasegawa: WHAT PART OF THAT IS FALSE?! THAT’S JUST YOU AT A PARTY ISN’T IT?!
Katsura: And with this I can infiltrate the Shinsengumi. Just you bastards watch.
Hasegawa: Heey!! If you use that thing you’re gonna get killed for sure Zuracchi!!
Katsura: I’ll pray for your good fortune as well Hasegawa-san.
Hasegawa: I WASN’T ABLE TO LEARN ANYTHING FROM THAT CONSULTATION AT AAAAAAAALLLL!!
In the end what does this mean?! That this picture taking machine is completely useless?!
???: Hey…
If you guys don’t have any business here then get out of my way.
Huh? Boss?
Whatcha doin here?
Hasegawa: T—that’s…

014
Gintoki: Back a’tcha. What’s up man? Did they find out how corrupt you are and now you’re looking for new work?
Okita: Nah. In order to climb up the corporate ladder, I have to fulfill some new requirements.
I’ve got to have a photo for my application to handle the universe’s hazardous and poisonous materials.
(Paper- Universe Poison and hazardous substance handling license.)
Hasegawa: WHAT’S THIS BOY SCHEMING?! NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, IT’S SOMETHING EVIL FOR SURE!!
Okita: Don’t tell me you’re gonna use this too Boss?
It’s a problematic one. It won’t do as you say so you’ve gotta have the upper hand.
Want me to show you how to use this thing?
(Sfx- Gashiiin *veeen*)
Hasegawa: The chair suddenly rose to its highest poooooint!!
Machine: Please insert payment…
Okita: Excuse me, but I can’t reach it.
Machine: Please adjust the seat so you are looking into the camera lens…
Okita: Excuse me, but I can’t reach it.
Machine: You can pay afterwards. The camera will adjust so that it meets the chair, so please sit back and get comfortable.
(Sfx- Gashiiaaaan *craaaash*)
(Sfx- Nyuuhh *fisssh*)
Hasegawa: Did it always have that sorta systemmmmmmmm?! It’s depreciating itself in the face of his overwhelming sadism!!

015
Machine: Taking picture.
Please look straight into the camera.
(Sfx- Viiiin *sreeen*)
Machine: L—
Look…
(Sfx- Geboroshaaah *ooooroaaaghhh*)
Hasegawa: It’s vomiting!! It’s so nervous that it’s actually vomiting photoooos!!
Machine: The resume photo has been completed.
In return here is a blue collar criminal known as a patriot pictured in this photo. Please take it and utilize it to expedite your investigation.
Hasegawa: AND IT SNITCHED ON HIM SO EASILY!!
Okita: You’re gonna keep quiet about this, yeah?
(Sfx- Charirrinn *clatter*)
Machine: Of course sir, I wouldn’t want to get on your bad side.
(Sfx- Pan pan *clap clap*)
Okita: Bring on the booze.
We’re gonna party.
And that’s how you’re supposed to do it.
Hasegawa: WHAT CHANGED FROM BEFORE?!
Okita: Welp, I’m gonna treat Katsura and Hijikata-san to a nice poisonous death.
You guys do your best too, ‘kay?
Hasegawa: WAIT A MINUUUUUUTE!!

016
Hasegawa: This photo taking machine is totally a dog of the police isn’t it?!
It doesn’t have privacy or any of that crap at all!! I give up!! I’m not going to use this thing here!!
I’ll go find another one somewhere else!!
Gintoki: Hey, no matter where you take your picture it’s gonna be the same thing. More like do you have any money?
Seems like Okita’s still got a little bit of change left over from his photo….enough to take one more picture.
This is the last one.
If you fail up against this photo taking machine then you’ll never get anywhere in the interview or in the war that is job hunting.
(Sfx- Zatshhh *Sifft*)
Gintoki: I’ll take these and the two of us will wait for the good news.
All you gotta do is quit hiding and have self confidence. I’m sure you’ll do fine.
I know that your desire to make a comeback isn’t halfassed.
So bare it all.
Get naked and bare your feelings…
Burn them onto the film.

017
Shinpachi: Gin-san..
You got this in the mail.
Gintoki: What’s this?
Shinpachi: Looks like a resume.
Gintoki: What? A job offer? I don’t remember applying for anything…
(Resume// Name: Hasegawa Taizou// Age 38. //Gender: Male. // Yorozuya Ghostwriter// I’ll do anything, just please help me.)
Kagura: Ah! Sadaharu!
That is no good, yes? If you poop there then~
Gintoki: Kagura….
I have some paper here.
(Side text- Survive on Madao.)
GINTAMA LESSON 487…………..END.




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