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Translations: Bleach 592 by BadKarma , Gintama 506 (2)

Gintama 242

If it looks like a foreigner it’s a foreigner, if it looks like an alien, it’s an alien.

en
+ posted by Bomber D Rufi as translation on Dec 23, 2008 06:56 | Go to Gintama

-> RTS Page for Gintama 242


Mou ii. I won't complain about late chapters anymore. I'll just translate other things in the meantime. In any case, enjoy the last Gintama of 2008!

Announcer guy: At long last!

One of the competitors for ‘Official Terakado Tsuu fan club’ has arrived!!

(Bottom text- The newest volume of the Jump manga #26 is out in stores! And don’t forget that the super popular anime airs weekly!!)

Announcer guy: It’s…

The team leader of the Tsuusengumi! Tosshi!

(Sfx- Kuwaaaaaaa!)

(Side text- To the climax of the battle…!)

GINTAMA

Announcer guy: A smashing finish! Why I don’t even see the other teams anywhere! Making Tosshi the one to cut the goal tape alone!!

(Handwritten- Good work! Here’s your jumbo sized prize!)

(Handwritten- Thanks a ton of mountains.)

Announcer guy: When it comes to physical prowess, this man can’t be beaten! Now all he needs to do is finish the knowledge section, and he’s in the clear!!)

Incredibly enough, the rival teams don’t seem to be anywhere near the goal. This man seems to have finished without breaking a sweat!

Hijikata: Hmph. I had this whole race in the palm of my hand from the very beginning.

Announcer: The leader of the Tsuusengumi is a man to be respected and possibly even feared! Will he continue unopposed?!

We haven’t received any information on the other teams right now…

It’s as if they’ve disappeared from the planet itself, leaving the Tsuusengumi to sweep up an easy victory.

Perhaps they were involved in some kind of group accident behind us?

002

{Though I wonder what happened to my teammates?}

{Well it’s fine, as it’s not like four-eyes is going to get past the great wall of otaku flab.}

Announcer lady: Reporting in! We just got some current information!

Hold the phone!

It seems that we’ve got some information that could very well overturn the easy victory of the Tsuusengumi!!

Seven kilo back a bridge fell!!

Eight kilo back a train is sitting vertically!...somehow!

And nine kilo back there’s been a massive rabid dog outbreak!!

Just what in the world is going on here!!

It’s like the gods themselves collaborated against the other otaku and smited the course with impassible hindrances!!

Although one team has managed to surpass all of these traps and closes in on the ninth kilo!!

To be able to cross all of these accidents and hazards, can this team be considered human?!

{N—No way….they can’t!!}

{No, it’s impossible!}

Announcer lady: Ah! Have a look! The aforementioned team is slowly but surely making their way forth!

That….

That jacket is….!!

003

Announcer lady: The Terakado Tsuu Imperial protection squadron…..

WHO IS THAT?!?!

(Sfx- Kuwaaaaah!!)

Gintoki: Nice. We’ve got this battle in the bag. Allright~
Announcer lady: The Terakado Tsuu Imperial protection squadron pulls a miracle turn around victory, for a second place goooooaaaal!!

(Sfx- Pan *slap*)

Hijikata: HOLD ON A SECONDDDD!!

Who the hell is that?! I’ve never seen him before in my life!! More like, why’d he get such a huge panel to himself up there?!

Oh and let’s not forget, HE WASN’T AN ORIGINAL MEMBER OF THEIR TEAM!!

Gintoki: Wow you’re late on the uptake. We already had this reaction last lesson…twice.

Hijikata: What’s with that attitude?! So I’m not supposed to be surprised to see this guy who wasn’t there in the beginning here now?!

Gintoki: Wasn’t here in the beginning? Unless you’ve got proof stop babbling nonsense.

Hijikata: He IS the freaking proof! His existence here and now is the proof for everything!!

Gintoki: Listen Hijikata-kun, Life is one long marathon you know.

The more you run in the both of them, the more your body begins to change, so much so that when the time comes to cut the tape at the end, you don’t even recognize yourself.

Hijikata: My foot! He’s a different person now!!

Gintoki: Now that’s the pot calling the kettle black. And here’s my proof.

See? Even your teammates are transforming right before our eyes.

004

Gintoki: Yamazaki-kun’s here too, and he’s looking mighty different.

Hijikata: IT’S JUST THE HAIR THAT’S CHANGED ON HIM!!

What the hell does running a marathon have to do with your hair changing?!

More like it’s not even a decent haircut!! It’s hair erosion!!

Announcer guy: And another member has appeared! Though this Tsuusengumi member looks like a completely different guy…

Yamazaki: Uugh…With this kind of hairdo, how can I show up to work anymore….?

Hijikata: Yamazaki!! Wait you’re here…..

Yamazaki: I’m sorry, I’m bowing out.

But Hijikata-san, you should know there’s more where this came from..so watch out please.

We’re….in more trouble than you think….

Since they’re here too.

(Sfx- Buroro *vrrrrmm*)

(Sfx- kikitsu *screech*)

???: Ah, here’s fine.

Don’t worry about anything, you won’t be exposed.

Ah, don’t forget your receipt.

005

(Sfx- Zatsu *Swif*)

Okita: Make it out to Hijikata Toshiro.

(Sfx- Porotsu *droop*)

Gintoki: Oh my~ It seems all your little friends are here….

(Sfx- Shagaaaaa *swoooosh*)

(Sfx- Gatsu *Grip*)

Hijikata: Y—Yeah that’s right! I almost forgot!!

I was looking at your guy, and he looks like a foreigner! How’d he get on your team, and what’s his name?

Gintoki: Takatin.

Hijikata: Takatin is it?! I’m sorry about that! I didn’t mean to say anything mean to you buddy! Oh and thanks for giving Yamazaki such a great haircut!

All right, lets forget about that stuff from earlier, and get right down to the final round of this thing!!

Gintoki: Oh good, you DO get it. Well hurry up so we can win and go home.

(Sfx- Kiii *screech*)

Officer: Hey are you two all right? This is where you said you were going….

???: We’re fine.

Officer: All right then. Be more careful.

006

Officer: You wouldn’t want to get lost again would you?

(Side text- Infested with conceit!)

GINTAMA
Lesson 242: If it looks like a foreigner it’s a foreigner, if it looks like an alien, it’s an alien.

SORACHI HIDEAKI

(Sign- Ooedo Television.)

Announcer: Well then---- Let us get on to the next part of the Terakado Tsuu Official fanclub competition, despite some ‘occurrences.’

We’ve been able to shorten the contest from one thousand teams, to the two teams that managed to make it to the goal.

(Sign- Television Chanpon’s Terakado Tsuu Offical Fanclub battlegrounds of pianist.)

007

Announcer guy: The two teams are the Terakado Tsuu Imperial protection squadron…

And the Tsuusengumi!!

Although it is a bit questionable to allow participants that had to be brought here by the police, since they got lost on their way here….

Kagura: Questionable? How so? You did not say no to cars earlier sir! We did nothing wrong!

Announcer: Well…I guess that’s true, but you’d think that a rule like that would be yanno…obvious.

Kondo: Don’t assume things!! Don’t you understand that you have to explain things several times to idiots you insensitive moron?!

Kagura: That is so. No more of your chiding sir!!

Announcer: Ah…Um, what would you like to do about these competitors that used a car to get here Otsuu-chan?

Tsuu: Um…to be honest I thought the rules were pretty clear too, so I don’t know what to think of people who came in a car…

Otaku: HEY!! DON’T MESS AROUND!! WHAT ABOUT OUR EFFORT?!!

EXPLAIN THINGS CLEARLY FROM THE BEGINNING!!!

Announcer: Well it seems that no one understood the rules as well as we though tthey did Otsuu-chan….so I suppose since they did finish, they can stay in the competition.

All right then, we’ll continue with these two teams.

The Terakado Tsuu Imperial protection squadron, and the Tsuusengumi, will be the ones to vie for the special prize of being called Otsuu-chan’s official fan club!!

008

{This is really REALLY bad…}

{I was hoping to win this whole thing on my own, to avoid embarrassment….}

{But now they’re all here, which means even if I do manage to snag a victory, I’ll never live it down at work…}

{…although winning with this team is asking for a lot.}

(Handwritten- Is that an Otaku hairdo?)

Kondo: You’re looking a bit pale there Toshi. Don’t fret.

We know that you’re under the control of the demon blade, and have come as friends to save you.

We are valiant companions that won’t leave your side until you body is free from the curse of the demon blade. We need no thanks or compensation other than your friendship.

Right Sougo?

Okita: Yeah! No. I want a reward.

Kondo: Right Yamazaki?

Yamazaki: Sorry but…I need to weep over this hairstyle a bit longer.

Kondo: Gahahahahah! You guys act so cold!

But I know the truth, you want to help Toshi as bad as I do! So…this thing’s gonna be over in three hours right Toshi? Cause I’ve got something to do.

Announcer: As you may already know, there are three parts to this contest, and you have only managed to finish the first one. Before you can claim the title of ‘official’ you’ll need to complete two more.

The first one required you to flex your muscles, but the second round will require you to flex your brains.

Which is to say, this will be a knowledge contest!!

009

Announcer: You say you love Otsuu-chan, so let’s just test that with a pop quiz.

From here on in, Otsuu-chan will take the mike and ask you questions.

You all will be expected to answer while sitting upon these sliding panels.

If you answer a question correctly, the opposing team’s panel will lower slightly.

The winner will be decided by the team whose members are not submerged underwater.

But if you answer a question wrong, you will have to undergo a penalty, since your sliding panel will also drop! So be careful!

All right then, are the lot of you prepared?! Let’s start the next part of the competition, the Quiz showdown!!

(Sfx- Shagagaaaaaaaaaa *shsssssssssssssshhh*)

(Sfx- Pochaa *goosh*)

Announcer: Oh? What’s this then? The contest begins with a bad omen, as the team leader for the Squadron, Shimura-shi’s glasses fall into the water!

Gintoki: Shinpachi!! What the hell are you doing down there?!

Announcer: Could this spell disaster for the squadron, as they’ve lost some of their manpower?

Though this begs the question, where IS their leader?

Has a terrible fate befallen Shimura-shi?! This doesn’t bode well!

010

(Sfx- Dogaaaaa *Smaaaaack!*)

Shinpachi: HEEEERRES JOHNNY!!

What are you going on and on about?! You can’t do this contest withoutme!!

Announcer: Oh THERE he is.

Shinpachi: What’s with that tone of voice?! Are you making it sound like I shouldn’t be here?! More like how can you possibly think it’s okay for those idiots to abandon me and then go on like nothing happened?!

Kondo?: Oh? You’re still around after all Shinpachi-kun

Kagura: I had not noticed.

Hijikata?: What are YOU going on and on about, like you’re important.

Shinpachi: Huh…?

What a second, you guys really didn’t notice I wasn’t here?

…Wait, quit glaring at me like that.

Your glares are like daggers….

Announcer: You know, I hate to bring this up, but you have already suffered a penalty.

Shinpachi: WAAAAIT!! IT’S NOT LIKE I WAS LATE ON MY OWN!!! THE OPPOSITE TEAM and in some ways MY team MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO SHOW UP ON TIME!! AND THEN THEY FORGOT ME!!

Gintoki: Don’t sweat it Shinpachi!! We’re not going to lose to those guys ever!

Shinpachi: THAT’S NOT ME!! THOSE AREN’T EVEN MY GLASSES!!

{Perfect, with one guy down, we’ve got the advantage. Victory is mine.}

Shinpachi: DON’T GO INNERMONOLOGING WITHOUT ME!! I’M STILL RIGHT HERE YOU KNOW!! PLANNING LIKE YOU’VE ALREADY WON IS POINTLESS!!

011

Announcer: In any case, let’s get this show on the road! Question one!

Shinpachi: Wait a second!! So are you telling me my heroic appearance was pointless?! Am I pointless?!

Announcer: Back when Otsuu-chan was only four years old, what was her most beloved movie?

Shinpachi: COME ON MAN!! I KNOW THIS ONE!! IF I DON’T ANSWER THIS THOSE IDIOTS’LL SCREW IT UP!!

(Sfx- pinpon *dingdong*)

Announcer: And it’s Hijikata-shi up to bat!

Hijikata: Rome’s day of calamity.

{Geh! He’s right!!}

{Otsuu-chan used to watch movies with her dad before he got locked up! The last one they went to see was ‘Rome’s day of calamity’!}

{When Hijikata-san uses that demon blade, not only is he a fearsome warrior, but he’s also a diligent Otsuu-chan fan!!}

{This is really bad!! Without me Gin-san and the others are doomed!!}

{Sorry kid, but I did say I’d sink your ship if you came up against me.}

{I’ve got this competition in the bag!!}

(Sfx- Bu-bu *Buzzzt*)

Announcer: Sorry, but that answer is incorrect!

{What?!}

012

Tsuu: Sorry about that, but the correct answer is,

‘Rome’s day of calamity- Paris school of rock and roll’

{WHAAAAAT?!}

Announcer: And what a pity for Hijikata-shi! You forgot to add Otsuu-chan’s familiar ‘Otsuu-speak’ at the end of your answer!

(TN- That’s literally what Tsuu says as the answer….I couldn’t find a way to render it in English without completely changing it….and it’s quite funny as is.)

Hijikata: What the hell!?! No one even said that was one of the rules….

Announcer: Hijikata-shi, I hope you’ve prepared yourself for the penalty!!

(Sfx- Gagooo *FWOOP*)

(Sfx- Zubooon *Splaaaaash*)

{HOW IS THIS A ‘SLIGHT’MOVEMENT?!}

013

Announcer: Oh my! Hijikata-shi’s been ejected so quickly!!

Shinpachi: Excuse me for interjecting, but I thought it was supposed to be a ‘slight’ penalty for each wrong answer. That’s totally a ninety degree angle….

Announcer: Well it is ultimately up to Otsuu-chan just how much the sliding panel changes for each penalty…

So to sum it up, she can make it slight or incredibly fast at her own whim.

Shinpachi: IS THERE A POINT FOR RULES THEN?!

Hijikata: What did I do wrong?! Sure I forgot to talk the talk, but to send me packing like that?!

Announcer: Now both teams have lost a single member!

Can this contest really go on without the two strongest members present?

{What nowwwww?!}

{This basically means, that Otsuu-chan can decide who she wants to win or lose at any time!!}

{She’s a fearsome one! It doesn’t matter then who I have or who I’m up against!}

{When it comes right down to it, we’re in the same hole together!}

{The answer doesn’t mean crap now!!}

{All we can do is hope that the other team will end up tagging themselves out!}

Announcer: Now the second question!

Otsuu-chan’s….

{Don’t answer the question!!! I beg of you guys, STAY QUIET!!!}

(Sfx- Pinpon *dingdong*)

{Who chimed in first?!?}

{I can’t take it!! Someone please…!!}

014

Announcer: The squadron!!

Takatin-shi!

(Sfx- Kucha kucha *Chew chew*)

{Wh…}

{WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CHIME IN?!?!}

{YOU’RE THE DEFINITION OF A WORST CASE SCENARIO!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHY YOU”RE HERE?!?!}

Takatin: Agh…

Wait just a second.

{The language barrier’s too thiiiick!! Why’d you chime in!! Do you even know what’s being said?!}

{Wait!! This might be a good thing! I can’t help but think with his serious expression, that he has some kind of odd self confidence!}

{Plus he knew the rules enough to know when to chime in, so maybe just maybe he has some kind of plan….}

Takatin: ‘Scuse me…

I really need to take a leak, before my pants finish their preparations to take a trip down the land of Hades…

{YOU JUST WANT DIRECTIONS TO THE BATHROOM!?!?}

{IN WHAT WORLD WOULD HITTING A BUTTON GET YOU THAT INFORMATION!?}

{Moreover, why did you add all that extra stuff to your request?! You understand Otsuu-speak, but you don’t understand Japanese?! How is that even freakin’ possible?!}

015

{We’re doomed! Doomed with a capital…}

(Sfx- Pinponpinponpinpon *Dingdingdingding*)

Announcer: Correct!!

The question was indeed ‘What were a very stressed Otsuu-chan’s first words during her very first live performance?’

Your answer of ‘I really need to take a leak’ is absolutely correct! Marvelous Taktatin-shi!

{He…}

{HE GOT IT RIGHT?!?!}

{What kind of sick miracle was that?!?!}

Kagura: Splendid! You are great Takatin!

Takatin: Oh yeah.

Gintoki: Takatin my man.

{Just what the hell is he?! What the hell are you guys?!}

(Sfx- Viiin *veeeen*)

Announcer: And now all of the Tsuusengumi team members will be penalized!

(Sfx- Gatatsu *kachink*)

Kondo: Ummmm Otsuu-chan?

I may be imagining things, but I get the idea that I’m the only one who was penalized…

Could you um…explain this please?

016

Announcer: All right then, to the third question.

Kondo: Wait, are you ignoring me?!

(Sfx- Pinpon *dingdong*)

Announcer: Oh my! It’s Takatin again!! He’s already chimed in before the question was asked!!

{WHAAAAT?!}

{Fool. Miracles never happen twice!!}

{This time you really are out to pasture!}

{No way!! I know he can pull this off!}

{He’s not just some everyday joe!}

{He’s the guy that Gin-san picked out personally to be our savior!!}

{And if he believes in Takatin, than I will too! Takatin can make another miracle happen!! Do it!!! TAKA---TIIIIIN!!}

Takatin: ‘Scuse me…

I need to get a new pair of pants cause they’re a little dirty Kato-chan.

{CAN’T YOU THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!!!}

017

{He totally just wants to use the bathrooooom!!!}

{Even if he did answer using Otsuu-speak, it doesn’t change the fact that having a one track mind isn’t going to win this competition!}

{I can’t believe I started to think that this guy could turn things around!! All he seems to be is some really constipated weirdo!!}

Announcer: Correct!!!

{WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!}

Announcer: The question was ‘What did Otsuu-chan say to her friend when she spotted them digging up their nose?’

The correct answer is ‘Kato-chan’!

{THE OTSUU-SPEAK WAS THE CORRECT ANSWER?!}

{Doesn't anyone think it's strange that a foreign guy with soiled pants knows so much about a famous idol?!}

Announcer: Takatin is a man made of miracles! To continuously chime in and know the answer to an incomplete question!

To add to that, he also knows all of the ins and outs of 'Otsuu-speak'! We may have already found our winner!

{All you guys have found is a guy who really needs to do number one, and isn't familiar enough with the language to ask where and how!}


018

{Someone get this guy some pants!! He’s clearly suffering while sitting on that panel!!}

Kagura: Takatin!!

(Sfx- Pan pan pan *slap slap slap*)

Gintoki: Yeah!

You go Takatin!!

{Quit cheering him on and buy him some new pants already!! Poor guy’s dirty down there!!}

{Though we’re coming awfully close to victory…}

{I feel bad for Takatin having to sit in those dirty pants, but if they’re what inspire him to come up with the right answer, we’ll have to let the goddess of dingy boxers make her rounds!}

Kondo: Um…Otsuu-chan?

Maybe it’s just me but….

Do you….hate my guts?

(Sfx- Kachitsu *Click!*)

(TN- Wow…when you look at her while smiling, she looks like Tae…..maybe that’s why she has such a huge amount of irrational Kondo hate?)

019

(Sfx- Gakun *Click*)

(Sfx- Doon *SPLAAASH*)

Announcer: Correct!!!

The answer is ‘I don’t accept any part of your personality!’

The Tsuusengumi has made a huge comeback with that correct answer!!

And because they were able to answer that hidden question…

The second round goes to them!!

(Side text- And then there were two!! See you next year!!)

GINTAMA LESSON 242…………END.









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#1. by furato (Registered User)
Posted on Dec 24, 2008
Historical Isami Kondo's wife is named Tsune, so maybe... Sorachi translated that into irrational hatred from Tsuu? ^^;
#2. by Bomber D Rufi (Translator)
Posted on Dec 24, 2008
lol Perhaps...Sorachi has a way of twisting things doesn't he?
#3. by Hachuyani (Scanlator)
Posted on Dec 25, 2008
those 4 bubbles on the bottom on page 17...are those in your translation?
#4. by Bomber D Rufi (Translator)
Posted on Dec 25, 2008
Made the changes. Sorry about that >_<
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