Sket Dance 75

Dear Lord, I don't think I've ever translated so much Sket Dance in such a short space of time. And just so you know, it nearly killed me, but at least I did it (which is more than I thought I was going to manage), so I guess you could say one good thing came out of a certain bunch of evil assholes coming out of nowhere and trying to steal my series in a surprise attack of unprecedented bastardliness. Don't bother thinking this takes them off my death list, because they're still on there until every trace of those goddamn scanlations is wiped clean off the internet, but if they would stop releasing the series RIGHT NOW, then that would at least be a nice start ^^

Now, without further ado, I present translation number four of my fifteen-Sket-Dance-translations-in-about-three-days marathon.

Guidelines For Using My Translations

1
[Insert text: Bossun takes up an eating challenge... Wait - your face!! Your face!!!]
[Shop: Ramen]
Himeko: You're almost there, Bossun! Only a quarter of it left!
Switch: Keep it up.
Himeko: Ya still have five minutes!
Bossun: *pant* // *pant* // *pant* // *pant* // Ughh...
Himeko: It's no good... // I think you oughta give up, Bossun. / You did your best. // Yeah?
Switch: He's really forcing himself now...
RamenDude: Wahahah! Can't have you underestimating my Great Big Jumbo Ramen, now, can we, Nii-chan? // Just a little hunger isn't enough to conquer this baby!

2
Bossun: Aimgnunnamnginmiaimngun! Mnuunguuuunghh!
Switch: ...What?
Himeko: "I'm gonna finish it, I'm gonna! Dummy! Du~mmy!" ...is what he's sayin'... // Ahhh, this is no good! Just look at the poor guy's face!
Switch: It does seem to be going a little off-colour.
Himeko: That's enough! You don't have to push yourself that hard!
Switch: I daresay he just can't bring himself to back down after all that boasting about how he could eat the whole thing easily.
RamenDude: A~nd that's time up~~~~~~~!! // Looks like you've failed my ultimate eating challenge, I'm afraid! That'll be 5,000 yen. // You did better than most of the challengers I've had around here recently, mind. But your stomach still isn't quite up to it. // Maybe you should give up on the "food fighter" career - you don't want to kill yourself or anything! / Ahahah!

3
Himeko: Ah, shut it, old man! I'll challenge you myself next time, you got that?!! I'll eat your whole damn ramen, bowl an' all!! // You ain't seen the last of us!!
Switch: Can you walk, Bossun?
RamenDude: Thanks for dropping by~!
Himeko: Bossun... let's head home now, yeah? // You don't have to get all depressed...
Switch: You did make quite the gallant "food-fighter".
Bossun: [tinytext]
Himeko: Hm? What's that? / Right... yeah...
Switch: What did he say?
Himeko: He's just dead embarrassed, that's all.
Switch: Well, he did go in full of confidence, after making sure he was well and truly hungry. / He was saying he could eat anything, even dirt...
Himeko: Yeah, he was really goin' for it... it must've hurt to fail after all that. / We oughta think up somethin' to cheer him up... // All right! / Let's go get some ramen, that always cheers him right up!
Bossun: Yeah, RIGHT!

4
Sket Dance
Chapter 75: Food Fighter Captain
[Insert text: Let's relax those shoulders and just take things easy, nice and easy...]

5
Captain: Himeko-cha~n! // Heading to the clubroom?
Himeko: Yeah. / What about you?
Captain: Oh, the softball club doesn't have practice today.
Himeko: Really? / Well, that works out just great! // I baked a whole ton of cookies. / You wanna come help us eat 'em?
Captain: ...What's this...?
Himeko: A cow! They're cow cookies! // Okay, the shape might be a little off, but they taste great!
Captain: Well, I guess I'll pay you guys a visit for once, then!

6
Bossun: Mm... / Well. // The shape's kinda off, but they taste great. // These football cookies.
Himeko: They're cows!
Captain: But you're right - they really are delicious! // I knew you were good at cooking, Himeko-chan... / ...but now I think about it, I've hardly ever actually eaten the stuff you make! // They're so tasty I could go on eating forever!
Himeko: Well, we've got plenty, so you just go ahead!
Bossun: My stomach still feels full from yesterday, though... / I can't really eat much...
Himeko: Well, yeah... / Ya don't have to push yourself here, just eat what you feel like.
Captain: Are you not feeling well, Bossun?!
Himeko: Oh, well, you see, yesterday...
Bossun: Gahhh! Don't blab about that, dummy!!

7
Bossun: Huh? // Did somebody knock the cookies on the floor?
Himeko: Hm? You're right... the whole plate's gone... // Switch, this has gotta be your doin'.
Switch: No... // I'm innocent. / It... It wasn't me...!
Himeko: Do ya have to say it all suspicious-like...?
Captain: Oh... I - I'm sorry, I...
Bossun: Oh, it was you, Captain?
Himeko: No biggie, no biggie. Nobody minds.
Bossun: There's always the three-second rule, am I right?
Switch: I think it has been more like twenty seconds, mind.
Captain: No... that's not it... // I... ate them.
Bossun: Huh?!

8
Bossun: Wha...?! Seriously? All of them?!
Himeko: When did you...?!
Captain: Well... they were so good that I just... I really am so sorry!
Himeko: No... that's okay, we still have other snacks left... / But man, they disappeared in a flash...
Bossun: There were a heck of a lot!
Captain: I can't believe I...
Himeko: I mean, I knew you ate a lot, Captain... / But was it always this bad?
Captain: Well, recently, I seem to have an even bigger appetite than I used to...
Switch: Softball practice can be fairly strenuous, after all.
Captain: That's right... my stomach just never seems to stay full... // I find myself eating things without even realising it... / I buy plenty of snacks, but they're gone before I know what's happened... // As for my lunch, I just bring an ordinary-sized lunchbox like anyone else... / ...but the truth is, I have an early lunch in the clubroom beforehand as well. // Thankfully, I don't seem to put on any weight... / ...but still, for a girl like me, this kind of thing...

9
Captain: ...is a little embarrassing.
Himeko: How many of those things are you gonna eat?! // The heck?! How do ya...?! How can ya even eat like that?! / Those little fruitcakes are pretty damn filling for their size, ya know!!
Bossun: It's like they're peanuts! She's wolfing them down like peanuts!
Switch: It's impressive how she seems to swallow them whole without even a drink.
Bossun: And that speed... it's just not right!
Captain: It's true... I seem to be an incredibly fast eater, as well.
Bossun: How do you have time to chew and swallow?!
Himeko: Could we just see ya eating one of those things again?
Captain: Hm? / If you like......
Himeko: IT JUST VANISHED!!

10
Bossun: You're totally incredible!!
Himeko: I've never seen anythin' like it!! You could get on TV with this!!
Captain: Oh, don't be so silly... there's no way I could get on...
Himeko: IT VANISHED~!!
Bossun: That volume... that speed... this just isn't normal.
Himeko: She's a real food-fighter...
Bossun: OF COURSE!! // Captain!! Do you like ramen?!
Captain: Y... Yes... // ?

11
RamenGuy: Now, I was thinking you people were gluttons for punishment when you showed up back here... / But you're gonna have this little girl take the challenge? You really are crazy. // My Great Big Jumbo Ramen... / With eight servings of noodles, and fried vegetables on top of that, the whole thing comes to seven kilograms! // You won't find a bigger ramen than this in the whole country!
Himeko: Wh... Whaddaya think, Captain?
Bossun: Yeah, she did just stuff down an awful lot of snacks... she's hardly in the perfect condition for this......

12
Captain: I think this should be easy enough.
Bossun: All right!! Go for it, Captain!!!
RamenGuy: Huh? Wh... What did you just say?!
Captain: Itadakima~~~su!
Himeko: There it is!! // The ultimate Vanisheating technique!!
Bossun: "Vanisheating"?! / The heck is that?!
Himeko: This is gonna work! // This is totally gonna work!
RamenGuy: ? // ?

13
[Text: Three minutes later]
Captain: Whew...! // I think I'll take a little rest.
Himeko: IT'S HALF-GONE ALREADY!!
Bossun: What kind of body does this girl have?! / Is it magic?!!
Himeko: This is gonna be even easier than I thought...
Switch: One wonders how much she could eat if she was actually hungry...
Bossun: Something like a whole buffalo, maybe...?
Captain: I think that would really be pushing it a little...
Bossun: Hm? Well, yeah, I was joking, of course... / So... why do I get the feeling she's just being modest?!
Switch: The buffalo, or American bison, is not generally eaten, and was driven to near-extinction in the wild in the early 20th century. Consuming one would not be an easy endeavour.
Bossun: I don't think that's the issue here!!
Captain: That's right... the issue is the taste.
Bossun: Taste?!
Himeko: Enough with the buffaloes already!

14
Captain: Well, then... shall we get back to the eating? // Do you mind if I take five minutes or so?
Bossun: Go ahead.
Himeko: You just have to finish it within forty minutes total.
Switch: This is beyond easy.
Captain: Hmm? // Aahhh!!
Bossun: Wha - ?! // What's wrong?!
Himeko: What is it?! Is there a problem?!!
Captain: Oh, no... this is terrible! // I won't be able to finish this ramen...
Bossun: What~?! Why?!
Captain: I didn't notice it because it was hidden in among the vegetables, but... / I just spotted it...

15
Captain: There's boiled egg in this ramen!! // Boiled egg is the one thing I just can't eat!!
Himeko: Defeated by a boiled egg of all things?!
Captain: What should I do?!!
Bossun: Wh... What should you do...? / I... I'm sure you can handle it! It's just a little bit of egg!
Himeko: Yeah, that's right! Just make it go "poof" with your Vanisheating!
Captain: I'm sorry... I'm just not up to it... A buffalo I could handle, but I just can't eat boiled eggs...
Himeko: YOU COULD EAT THE BUFFALO?! / No... this is no time for comebacks!
Bossun: You've come all this way... are you sure you can't eat it?
Captain: Uh-huh... if I tried to force myself... // ...It might... backfire.
Bossun: You'd throw up?! Seriously?! That bad?!

16
[Text: Five more minutes later...]
Captain: Well, I've eaten everything except for the egg... // But... this is the real problem.
RamenGuy: Haha~h! What are you gonna do now, huh?!!
Bossun: This guy seems to have cheered up an awful lot!!
RamenGuy: You can't call yourself a real "food fighter" if you're a picky eater, girlie!
Bossun: Ugh... / I don't want to lose to this guy... // There's only one thing for it... // Captain... you just have to bite the bullet and swallow it!
Captain: What?! I can't!
Bossun: Don't worry. // Since there's just the egg left, if you can keep it down for even a second, you've won the challenge. // Isn't that right, Mister?
RamenGuy: Well...... yeah...
Bossun: In other words, once you've swallowed it...

17
Bossun: ...it doesn't matter how much you throw up.
Captain: I can't do that!!!
Bossun: Ahhh, come on! Look at me, I threw up twice just in the space of Chapter 5!! Share in the suffering!
Captain: I don't want to share in a thing like that!
Switch: If you finish the whole thing, you get to keep the spoon as a prize!
Himeko: The hell! / That's so freakin' cheap!
Bossun: Quit complaining and just swallow the egg! / Here it is! Come on, eat it!
Captain: Noooo!
Switch: Gulp that tasty, tasty little egg right down!
Himeko: What is this, a fetish?!!
Bossun: This egg is the ball!!
Captain: !!
Bossun: Are you going to take your eyes off the ball?! // No! The Captain I know is a better player than that!!

18
Bossun: You can't run from this, Captain!! / It's time to swallow that ball down!!
Captain: !!! // When you say it in such a heated way... / I... // All right.
Himeko: No way?!
Captain: I'll eat it... // I'll eat the boiled egg.
Himeko: Where did all this drama come from...?
Captain: But in return, you have to buy me a taiyaki on the way home!
Himeko: How much does this girl eat?!
Captain: This could be my opportunity to conquer my dislike, after all. // That's right... / This is a challenge! // Okay!
[SFX: gulp]

19
Himeko: Here, Captain... your taiyaki.
Captain: Thanks...
Switch: How's it look?
Himeko: She's just embarrassed...
Bossun: I'm real sorry about this, Captain...
[Insert text: After all that, she still "backfired"?! Never mind, Captain!!]