Sket Dance 81

Dear Lord, I don't think I've ever translated so much Sket Dance in such a short space of time. And just so you know, it nearly killed me, but at least I did it (which is more than I thought I was going to manage), so I guess you could say one good thing came out of a certain bunch of evil assholes coming out of nowhere and trying to steal my series in a surprise attack of unprecedented bastardliness. Don't bother thinking this takes them off my death list, because they're still on there until every trace of those goddamn scanlations is wiped clean off the internet, but if they would stop releasing the series RIGHT NOW, then that would at least be a nice start ^^

Now, without further ado, I present translation number ten of my fifteen-Sket-Dance-translations-in-about-three-days marathon.

Guidelines For Using My Translations

1
Bossun: Ahhhh!!! // It's... // ...not there... // (I'VE LOST MY WALLET~~~~~~~~~~!!!)
[Sket Dance]
[Chapter 81: One Man's Quiet Day Off]
[Insert text: It happened one ordinary day...]

2
Bossun: Die... // Everyone except me, just... die.
Cat: Nya~~~~
Bossun: ...What did you just say, huh? // You think I have the goddamn time to waste with pathetic little vermin like you, huh?!!!
Cat: Nyanyan!!! (this guy's bad news!)
Akane: Oh?

3
Akane: What are you playing at?
Bossun: Oh... Akane and Haru, it's just you.
Akane: What is it now? You searching for cats again? / Well, good luck wasting your precious free time on that...
Bossun: I'm not cat-hunting.
Akane: Gotta get paid somehow, I guess...
Bossun: I said that's not what I'm doing! // What about you guys? I thought you were going shopping together today?
Akane: Eheheh... / Well, we were going to... // But Haru ended up with some unexpected work to do, you see.
Haru: The other staff are off with a cold... so I'm going in to work instead. Earn some extra money.
Akane: What is up with you, anyway? I thought I heard you shouting about something.
Bossun: Oh, well... / Truth is...

4
Akane: 50,000 yen?!! // You lost that much?! / But that's tons!!!
Haru: Why did you have all that just sitting in your wallet?
Bossun: Oh... well... actually, I wanted to buy a video camera... / I've been saving up for a while... // I finally found one that was on sale, just the right price, so I was just on my way to buy it... / / But then on the way, this happened...
Akane: Ahhhhhhh...!! Wow, that sucks! / Fifty thousand yen... that's just not right! I would've died from the shock if it was me! // That's the danger of carrying around more cash than usual...
Haru: Have you told the police?
Bossun: That's where I was about to go.
Akane: Nothing for it, I guess... I'll go along with you.
Bossun: Huh?! Why would you do that?!
Haru: Well, good luck with that, Akane. I have to get to work, so...
Akane: Just leave it to me~!
Bossun: You don't have to! / What am I, a kid?!

5
Haru: Well, we're worried about you! Oh - here, I have a little money.
Bossun: Don't bother! // I'm all right... honestly!
Haru: Just take it, it's only a little... here, 200 yen.
Bossun: ...Man, that is only a little! / I'm seriously not a kid, I don't need your miniature donations, okay?!
Haru: Have some candy, then.
Bossun: I'M NOT A KID!
Akane: Honestly, you really do get yourself into the biggest fixes! You should be more careful...
Bossun: Tch... / You don't have to tag along...
Akane: Anyway, how are things going with you and Haru, eh?
Bossun: Hm? / What's that supposed to mean?
Akane: Oh, come on... you can't pretend you're "just" childhood friends at this point. / Nyeheheh...
Bossun: That's a nasty little laugh... / But whatever you're thinking, you're way off.
Akane: Ahh... / You really are still a kid.

6
Bossun: Huh, that kid... I see him playing about here a lot. // I always think, it's a little dangerous for a kid his age, you know?
Akane: Well, this street does get a fair amount of traffic... // If he were to run out into the road... // Ahh!!!
Bossun: Tch...
Akane: Huh?
Bossun: Hahhh!!!

7
Driver: You tryin' to get yourself killed, moron?!!
Akane: Hey... are you all right?! // What are you playing at?!!
Bossun: Aaaahhhhhhh~~~~~~~~!! That was really close~~~~~~~~~~!! I could have died just now~~~~~~~~~!!
Akane: Why do you have to constantly act on your impulses like that?!
Man: Taisuke! // I'm so sorry! I only took my eyes off him for a moment...!
Taisuke: Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Bossun: Hey, now. You're a man, aren't you? Men shouldn't cry like that. // Oh - I know. // Heheh... I'll give you something good. // Here. / Would you like some candy?

8
Bossun: He gave me a SuperBall in return...
Akane: Hahah, you're like the Straw Millionaire! // Anyway, would you try thinking before you act in future? / You can't just go dashing out like that!
Bossun: Hm? It's not like I can help a thing like that... my body just moved on its own...
Akane: It's good to help people out, I'll give you that, but you'll kill yourself one day if you act like that all the time...
Bossun: But if I hadn't done that, little Taisuke-kun might have died right then and there, mightn't he? / Can't go leaving a little guy like that alone...
Akane: Oh, don't be like that! Don't you even care if you get yourself killed?
Bossun: Well, it's not like I want to... / But hey, it's not like it would be that big a deal for anyone if I did. // Hahah...

9
Akane: That's not funny. / You can be like that if you must, but don't you ever let Haru hear you say that, all right?
Bossun: Hm? / Yeah, I guess you're right. // Sorry. // Ahh... // Ah - / Wahh - // Wait up - ! // Ahh! // Watch out, old lady! // !!! // Whaaaaaaaaa~~~~~~~~~~~~?!!

10
Bossun: Ahhh, what's going on here?!! // I thought you'd been knocked out by that ball, you know!
OldLady: So sorry about this, Mamoru... / Sometimes my old chest just gives out on me...
Bossun: My name isn't Mamoru, you know?!
[TN: I note we haven't heard what your name is yet >_< You look like Bossun, but of course after that bait-and-Switch the author pulled before (pun fully intended)...]
Akane: It looks like she's mistaking you for a grandchild or something...
OldLady: Dear me, Mamoru, you've gone straight past our house... / Don't tell me you've forgotten where your own home is? Hohoho...
Bossun: Like you can talk!
Mamoru: I really am very sorry about this. // My mother seems to have caused you a fair amount of bother. // Would ¥1,000,000 be sufficient as thanks?
Bossun: I... I don't need all that! // Straw Millionaire is one thing, but this is just ridiculous!

11
Mamoru: Oh... you're right, of course. It's terribly rude of me to try and solve everything with money.
Akane: O... Ohh... You're... not going to give us the money?
Bossun: Akane! // By the way, are you sure your mother's all right?
Mamoru: Oh, yes... she's calmed right down now. / She has these little episodes sometimes, so I've warned her not to go out alone if she can avoid is, but she can be so forgetful sometimes...
Bossun: Yeah, I got that idea... she seemed to think I was someone called Mamoru...
Mamoru: That would be me.
Bossun: Whaaaaaa?! / You don't look anything like me!!
Mamoru: Hahaha... / You look a lot like I used to when I was younger.
Bossun: What the heck happened to you...?!! // In the end, that old lady ended up giving me this "Kansetsu Man" doll...
[TN: "Kansetsu" means "joints"]
Akane: She really did think you were a younger Mamoru-san, didn't she...
Bossun: What were we even doing, again...? / Oh, yeah... I was going to buy a video camera, and dropped my wallet... / ......and somehow ended up with this Kansetsu Man?

12
Akane: Hey... // Why did you suddenly decide you wanted to buy a video camera, anyway?
Bossun: ............... // I'm not sure...
Akane: What?!
Bossun: No... // It's just... Hm... // You know how I'm kind of, well, disconnected from the world around me? / I mean, I don't have any relatives... // It's not exactly because of that, but... // I just kind of felt like making something real, something concrete. // Something to show... // ...that I'm here, enjoying my life.
Akane: Huh...

13
Akane: You must be bored.
Bossun: What was that?!
Akane: And in the end, you're just going to have to save up the money to buy that video camera again, aren't you? / Ahhh, it's all so pointless.
Bossun: I - I'll have that money in no time! / It's not like working is the only way to get money, you know!
Akane: Oh? What else is there? Pachinko? The races? When have you ever done any of that?
Bossun: Well... hmmm... / What if... this doll turned out to be a really rare antique, and I sold it for tons of cash?!
Akane: Oh, like you could get that lucky!!
[TN: Well, he did just turn down a million yen... ~~]
Otaku: Ahhhhh!!! // Could that figure you are holding possibly be that phantom item, endlessly sought-after in collectors' circles, the first-edition "Kansetsu Man" action figure?!!
Bossun: I actually got that lucky!!

14
Otaku: I'm begging you... you have to let me have that figure! // I've been looking for it forever! // Think of it as helping out a man in need!!
Bossun: Well... when you put it like that, I feel like I should... / It's not like I have any use for it, myself...
Otaku: Y... You mean it?!
Akane: Wait one moment. // What obligation do we have to simply hand that figure over to some random otaku we meet in the street? / If we were to go to a hobby shop, we could almost certainly sell it for a significant price.
Bossun: Akane... Sometimes, you can be...
Otaku: Ahaha... Well, of course I wouldn't ask you to hand it over for nothing. // I would have to compensate you thoroughly... // Let's see... how much do I have left...? // Heheh... this really is my lucky day...

15
Bossun: Hm?!
Otaku: Oh, this is terrible! / I had plenty of cash in here, but I just blew the lot of it on impulse purchases~! // I only have small change left...!
Bossun: Hey... mind if I ask you something? // That wallet...
Otaku: Hmm?
Bossun: Where did you find it?
Otaku: Aaahhhhh!!
Bossun: That's the wallet I dropped!!! / The hell do you mean, you spent it all, you bastard?!!
Otaku: Owww!!
Bossun: You used up all my hard-earned cash, didn't you?!!!
Otaku: Aaahhhhh... I - I'm so sorry! // There was just so much in there, I lost out to the temptation...

16
Otaku: ...and ended up buying this...
Akane: A video camera?
Bossun: This is the one I was going to buy...
Otaku: Oh... well, that works out perfectly! / I'll just give this to you! // Heheh... // Goodbye then!
Akane/Bossoun: NOT SO FAST!!
Bossun: Whew... // Well... I guess that turned out all right?
Akane: ...I guess so.

17
Bossun: Let's take tons of video with this thing. // Of me... // ...and you... // ...and Haru...

18
[no text just the old bait-and-switch again]

19
Real!Bossun: (From time to time... / When my mother's out at work, and the house is empty... // I get out this video and watch it. // My mother when she was young... // Her friend, Haru-san... // And this man... / ...by the name of Ryousuke... // ...from before I was born... / ...who must be... / ...my father.) // He looks just like me...
[Insert text: Time goes by...]
[Text: Bossun, age 14; Autumn...]
[Bottom text: And so begins another tale of days gone by... Starting next week, it's Bossun's past arc!!]