Sket Dance 82

Dear Lord, I don't think I've ever translated so much Sket Dance in such a short space of time. And just so you know, it nearly killed me, but at least I did it (which is more than I thought I was going to manage), so I guess you could say one good thing came out of a certain bunch of evil assholes coming out of nowhere and trying to steal my series in a surprise attack of unprecedented bastardliness. Don't bother thinking this takes them off my death list, because they're still on there until every trace of those goddamn scanlations is wiped clean off the internet, but if they would stop releasing the series RIGHT NOW, then that would at least be a nice start ^^

Now, without further ado, I present translation number eleven of my fifteen-Sket-Dance-translations-in-about-three-days marathon.

Guidelines For Using My Translations

1
[Insert text: A single video tape was the start of it all...]
[Text: It happened two weeks ago. // I found it lying about in our living room. // My mother must have forgotten to put it away after watching it... / A single video tape.]
Bossun: (A VHS, huh... // Is it a home video...?)
[Text: There was no title on the label... / It was simply labelled "Number 1". // Tape number 1... // I wasn't all that curious to begin with... // I didn't expect much... // I just happened to decide... // ...to hit "play"...]

2
Video!Ryousuke: Ah! // Is it recording now? // Hello! / Hello! // Hello! / Testing, 1-2-3!
Video!Akane: Oh, come on! Try moving about a little, would you?
Video!Ryousuke: H... Hello?
Video!Akane: Can you not say anything but "hello"?!
Bossun: D... Don't tell me this is... // ...my dad...?
Video!Ryousuke: What do we have here? Look, it's a Kansetsu Man figure!

3
[Text: Bossun, age 14; Autumn...]
[Sket Dance]
[Chapter 82: Happy Birthday (1)]
[Insert text: The wheels of destiny begin to turn...... / But right now, he sits in blissful ignorance...]

4
[Text: I've never known my father. // My mother became pregnant with me before they even got married... // ...and apparently it wasn't long after that he just went off and left her on her own. // My mum never really liked to talk about him. // Well, it figures, right? // So I never really asked about him, either. // I wasn't interested in a father figure who wasn't a part of my life. // ...or so I always thought...]
Bossun: Now that I actually see him, I can't stop watching... // [aside]so this is what he looked like...[/aside]

5
[Text: The video mostly consisted of scenes of this man I presume is my father... // ...my mother (so young!)... // ...and a girl by the name of Haru (she's cute!). // The three of them were great friends... / ...probably about nineteen or twenty years old... // And what I found on this video... // ...were the carefree, ordinary days of my parents' youth.]
Bossun: And so I guess they ended up in a love triangle, and in the end he got my mum pregnant, huh... // That does sound like my good-for-nothing dad. / [aside]heheheh...[/aside]
[Text: Since it was labelled "No. 1", I figured there were probably more, and sure enough, I eventually found them tucked away on a shelf in my mother's room. // Nine tapes in all. // So when my mother wasn't around, I quietly sat and watched my way through them.]

6
[Text: ......Right now, // I'm on the fourth tape. // It looks like my mother, at 20, has failed the test for her provisional licence again.]
Video!Ryousuke: That makes three times~!
Video!Akane: Oh, shut up! You don't have to keep count on film!
Bossun: Hahah, man, she failed again? // My mum must really suck at driving...
[SFX: clunk, clatter]
Bossun: !!
Akane: I'm ho~~~me! / Yuusuke, are you there?
Bossun: Ahh?! / Huh? // Crap...! // You're home already?!
Akane: That's right! / The plans have been moved up, you see...

7
Akane: Man, I'm beat... // Could you massage my shoulders?
Bossun: ...............
Akane: You were just watching a porn video, weren't you?!
Bossun: Wha - ?! N... No!!
Akane: Let's see it, then. You can show your mother!
Bossun: What are you talking about?!!
Akane: What's it like?
Bossun: I just said I wasn't watching porn! / Stop that!!

8
Akane: !! // This is...
Bossun: I... I'm sorry I watched it without asking... / I was just... interested... // That's my dad on the video, right?
Akane: How much?!! // How much did you watch?!
[TN: Ooh. Interesting reaction.]
Bossun: Huh?! // How much...? Well, I've been watching in order, so... / Up to this one. The fourth.

9
Akane: Well... I suppose it's only natural that you would want to know about your father. // But it's not like knowing will do you any good.
Bossun: What's he up to know? My dad...
Akane: Don't ask me. / I daresay he's off on a trip somewhere. // He was never one to settle down. // That man is a real good-for-nothing. // Don't you end up like him.
Bossun: Oh, yeah, sure. // Says the mother who's never told me anything about him.
Akane: Anyway, it's time for dinner! / Where's Rumi?
Bossun: Out for the evening.
Akane: Honestly... Sometimes I wonder whether that child does anything but enjoy herself.

10
Rumi: Aahhhhh~~~ // Ughhhh~~~~~ // This is terrible... I don't know what to do! What do I do, Onii-chan?!
Bossun: ...............
Rumi: I've got to have dessert! Go to the store for me.
Bossun: I knew you were going to say that!! // Forget it! / I'm not going to the store. Go yourself for once!
Rumi: Aahhhh... I can't... my legs are dying... I can't move... // The only thing that will cure them is custard pudding!
Bossun: What kind of biology is that?! // Why don't you buy these things on your way home?! You do this every single day!
Rumi: Aahhhh, my ears are dying, I can't hear you...
Bossun: Anyway, there's something wrong with you, using your brother as a workhorse! What do you take me for?!
Rumi: Hm? / You?

11
Rumi: A slave.
[TN: ...I can't tell whether I love her or hate her... Meh. I want to sex her, either way.]
[Box: Sister / Rumi / Age 13 / Middle-school first-year]
Bossun: What do you mean, "slave"?! Are you trying to steal away my dignity and freedom?!!
Rumi: Well, you do do anything I ask you to...!♡
Bossun: Not if you start calling me a slave, I don't!
Rumi: Hey, Onii-chan... it's your birthday the day after tomorrow, right?
Bossun: Hm? // W... Well, yeah... // I guess it is. // Wh... What about it?
Rumi: Buy me some custard pudding...?
Bossun: What happened to the birthday talk?!! Surely you should be the one buying me stuff!!

12
Akane: Aaaaghhhhh~~!
Bossun: What now?! // What's wrong, Mum?!!
Akane: I...... // I have a sudden terrible craving for almond jelly...
Bossun: Oh, fine!! I'll go to the store!!
[Text: After my mother and father split up, she married another man, but they split up soon after my sister was born. / I guess she's just unlucky with men. // So in the end, she ended up raising both of us as a single mother. // An unpredictable mother... // A selfish little sister... // A few nasty middle-school friends... // ...studying for exams... // That's pretty much what my life looks like right now. // A pretty average life, but I guess I'm happy enough.]
Flashback!Akane: How much did you watch?!

13
Bossun: Huh... she didn't have to get that mad. // (............... // "How much"... // What else was there that I didn't see...?)

14
Bossun: (So she's hidden them somewhere...) // Well, if she's that dead-set on not letting me watch them, I guess I won't bother... // (Photo albums...)

15
[Text: The first album was just like the videos; full of photos of the three of them in the height of their youth.]
Bossun: And the next one...? // Huh... this is after I was born. // That's a big jump. // Well, it's not like there was a wedding ceremony or anything, so I guess it makes sense... // (No, even so, you'd think there would be more photos of my dad and mum together as a couple... // Up until this point, they were all photos of the two of them with Haru-san, just a trio of friends... // What's this feeling I'm getting...? // It's like...)

16
Bossun: (...like I'm looking into something I really shouldn't see...) // Bah, whatever. // Forget that. // Th... This picture... // (Something's wrong...)

17
Akane: Wh...... // What's so wrong about it? // No, more importantly, Yuusuke, have you been sneaking around in my room again?!
Bossun: Just take a look at this photo! // You're hiding something from me, I know it! / Even hiding things that you don't want me to see!
Rumi: What's all this? // Onii-chan, have you uncovered some kind of secret?
Bossun: Rumi... // Be quiet for a minute.

18
Bossun: Mother. // There are photos you're hiding from me, photos you don't want me to see, aren't there? // Probably one whole album of them. / The period just before I was born. // You hid away all the photos that would reveal your secret. / But you overlooked just this one.
Akane: And what's so wrong with this picture?! It's just an old photo of me!
Bossun: The date!
Akane: The date? / September '92... // What about it?
Bossun: I was born on the 11th of November, in the year 1992. // So why, Mother...

19
Bossun: ...is your belly so flat in this picture? // I can't see any other explanation. // Mother... // Are you really my mother?
[Insert text: ...The truth is within his grasp!!]