Sket Dance 91

Guidelines For Using My Translations

1
[Insert text: YOU WIN!! A fighting game!!]
GameAnnouncer: KO!!
Himeko: DAMMIT!! // I got beat again! That's it, I've had it with this game! / Why do I have to keep on losin' to Bossun?!
Bossun: Ahahah! It's a simple matter of skill, my dear.
Himeko: He's just a stupid bug in real life...
bossun: Ahaha - wait, "bug"?! I'm a bug? // How about this, then... we learn how to use the combo techniques, and take on Switch together!
Himeko: Ah, screw that! That ain't fair... an' besides, I want to take you down, on my own! // I know! I'll just have to KO you right here, right now! That should work, yeah? Yeah!
Bossun: You're gonna what?! What are you talking about...?!!
Himeko: I say I'm gonna, and I'm gonna!
Bossun: ...That's enough of that... Hey, Switch, you want a game?
Himeko: Ohh?! Not runnin' away, are ya?! This is a challenge!
Bossun: ......Huh... / What are you even doing?

2
Sket Dance
Chapter 91: Kowarete Shimatta Tokubetsu na Mariko
[Insert text: This device... could it be...?!]
Bossun: What's this thing?
Switch: I was asked to repair it by Yamanobe-sensei.
[TN: NOOOOOO NOT YAMANOBE-SENSEI]
Switch: Apparently, it is an ancient games console. // Whilst the two of you are fooling around, I am taking care of actual requests from clients.
Himeko: Man... I don't know how you do it. That's our Switch! ...Or "Thaswitch", for short.
Bossun: I know, right? You're the best, Switch! Or "Bitch" for short!
Himeko: ...There's somethin' wrong with that abbreviation.
[TN: ...So my attempts to come up with English equivalents to the bad Japanese wordplay fail miserably. So sue me. (The originals were "Sasuga Suicchi" => "Sasuicchi", and "Erai Suicchi" => "Ero-Ecchi")]
Bossun: But seriously, what is this thing...? I've never seen one before...
Himeko: This is Yamanobe-sensei we're talkin' about, so it's gonna be somethin' completely out-there, ain't it?
Switch: It seems he was given it by Master Huang.
Himeko: I knew it!!

3
Yamanobe: Ah - Switch-kun, are you here? // I must apologise for making such a difficult request...
Switch: The issue seems to be with the cooling system. // If you use it for over four hours straight, then it will overheat and break down again, but otherwise it should work just fine.
Bossun: Sensei, what is that console? / Looks kind of suspicious, but...
Yamanobe: What are you talking about, Bossun-kun?!! // There is nothing suspicious about it! Have you not heard of this console?
Bossun: Huh? I've never seen anything like it.
Himeko: Huh... actually, it looks like this is a Famicom. Look, it's got "Family Computer" written on it and everything.
Yamanobe: No, no, this is a "Fancy Yunbyoter".
[Console: Fancy Yunbyoter]
[TN: It looks extremely similar to "Family Computer" in katakana ~~]
Himeko: The heck is a "Yunbyoter"?!! // Come on, "Fancy Yunbyoter"?!! This has gotta be one of those cheap ripoffs!!
Yamanobe: Oh, come on, surely you know Yunbyo! You know, Yuen Biao, the action star from Hong Kong!
[TN: ...Yeah, he actually exists.]
Yamanobe: Incidentally, it seems that Master Huang was the one who taught Yuen Biao all of his combat skills...
Himeko: Snap out of it, Yamanobe-sensei!!

4
Yamanobe: Honestly, you people...! Why, I received this Fancy Yunbyoter from my Master when I was just a boy; it is a very precious item to me! // Admittedly, I was the only kid who had one, and there was only the one game for it, but the Fancy Yunbyoter is the stuff of my childhood memories!
Bossun: Too freaking suspicious!!
Yamanobe: The FanYun is the stuff of my childhood memories!
Himeko: He's repeatin' himself!
Bossun: "FanYun"?! That's a terrible name!
Switch: Sensei... did you bring the game you were telling me about?
Yamanobe: But of course I did, Switch-kun. Will you help me complete it?
Switch: Absolutely; crappy games are my specialty.
Himeko: What's up with these guys...?
Bossun: What game are you talking about...?
Yamanobe: Oh, just a game that I used to play in the days of my youth... I never managed to reach the end, you see. // I've heard that it has an incredibly touching ending, so I thought I would ask you to help me finally witness it. // This is the game in question.
[Game: Kowarete Shimatta Tokubetsu na Mariko]
Bossun: ...Say what?

5
Himeko: The heck is this thing?!!
Bossun: What the heck does that even mean? "Mariko"? "Special"? "Broken"? What kind of game is this?!! // Sounds kind of adult, if you ask me!
Yamanobe: Oh, it's a side-scrolling platformer.
Bossun: This is a platformer?!
Yamanobe: The game itself is aimed at children, but the story behind it is a heavily realistic, dark and moody tale. // It tells of how the protagonist, a girl named Mariko, has a "special" relationship with her superior, and is ultimately left with a broken heart.
Bossun: And this is for kids?!! // ...Why is the title hand-written onto the cartridge, anyway?
Yamanobe: Oh, think nothing of that - the original sticker came off, so I wrote that on myself. / It has no bearing on the content.
Switch: At any rate, let us try playing it. / It could be unexpectedly entertaining.
Bossun: Yeah... I guess we did have quite a bit of fun with Genesis and Hyperion... / This thing might have a crazy originality all its own as well.
Yamanobe: Ah, just a moment... // There.
Himeko: The heck's with that.
Bossun: He just wanted to do that for the sake of it, didn't he.

6
Yamanobe: Now... let us begin!
Bossun: Huh?! // Originality, my ass!!!
Himeko: ..."Special Mariko Broken"?!!
Yamanobe: ...Well, yes. "Kowarete Shimatta Tokubetsu na Mariko".
Himeko: ...It all makes sense now!!
Yamanobe: In gaming circles, we tend to refer to the game by its translated name, you see.
Himeko: Ah, come off it!!
Bossun: ...You want us to play this?! Come on, it's a total rip-off!
Himeko: Master Huang just made this thing himself for the hell of it, didn't he?!
Yamanobe: He did not! What are you talking about?! // Admittedly, I was given the game by Master Huang, but he does not have the kind of skills necessary to create a video-game himself!
Bossun: I guess not...
Switch: The developer would appear to be "Wontendo".
Bossun: "Won"... "Huang"... THAT GUY TOTALLY MADE IT!!

7
Yamanobe: Well then, Bossun-kun, would you like to have the first go? / And... start!
Bossun: Ah... / It's started...
Himeko: The music sounds kinda... off.
Bossun: Hm?
Yamanobe: Flap!! FLAAAP!!!
Bossun: Huh?
Yamanobe: Ahhh... you died.
Bossun: Huh? // Whaaat?! What're you talking about? I don't get this game!!
Yamanobe: Like I said - you just lost a life, see?! // When the game begins, Mariko is falling from the sky, so you have to flap her arms to slow her fall, or she dies when she hits the ground!
Bossun: Huuuuh?! // Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! // You're telling me that one's Mariko?!!
Himeko: What about that girl who's standin' there already?!
Yamanobe: Oh, that's just Mariko's sister, Louisiana. She's standing there to see Mariko off on her journey.
Himeko: Who comes up with this crap?!

8
Yamanobe: Look, your second life has started already! / Flap, quick!
Bossun: Huh?! Wait a min... How do you even flap?
Himeko: ...He died.
Switch: That death sound-effect is rather irritating.
Bossun: How are you supposed to flap?!!
Yamanobe: What are you talking about?! // Obviously, you have to press the G-button repeatedly!
Bossun: G-button?
Yamanobe: Try looking at the controller...
Bossun: Huh? G-butto...... / WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!! // TOO MANY BUTTONS!! // Why does this thing have so many buttons?!
Yamanobe: The FanYun controller has buttons labelled "A" to "U".
Bossun: Who needs all those?!!
Yamanobe: No, no, you're getting more buttons for your money! // Incidentally, rather than a standard D-pad, the FanYun has an "Inverted T-Pad".
Himeko: Now there's stuff missing?!!
Bossun: How are you supposed to move down?!
Yamanobe: Here comes the third life.
Bossun: Mash the G-button...
Yamanobe: That's right! Very good~~~!
Switch: And Mariko just walked right past Louisiana like she wasn't there.
Himeko: ...Is there any point in havin' Louisiana there...?

9
Yamanobe: Jumping is mapped to the B-button. / And if you hold the C-button whilst moving, your speed will increase - it's called the "C-Dash system".
Bossun: The C-button... there it is. Ugh, this is annoying... / Just controlling the damn thing is pissing me off... // Gah... what kind of jumping physics are those?!! / And the response is so slow!
Yamanobe: Well, Mariko's movements are designed to be as realistic as possible.
Bossun: ...I think we can safely call this a "crappy game" already.
Yamanobe: Try hitting the differently-coloured blocks. You can get an item that way. // There it is! The "Red Eringi"!
[TN: An "Eringi" is a type of mushroom. Apparently it's called the "King Trumpet Mushroom" in English, but I'm sure as heck not writing "Red King Trumpet Mushroom" ~~]
Bossun: ...Eringi?
Himeko: Oh, cool... Mariko got all big.
Bossun: A power-up, huh.
Yamanobe: No... / That's a "skill-up".
Bossun: Huh?
Yamanobe: Look at the HUD in the top-left of the screen. Her job title has changed, you see? / Her job skills have improved, so she has been promoted to Manager.
Bossun: ...What is she, an office lady?
Yamanobe: It doesn't actually change anything in gameplay terms, but it gives you a sense of achievement, doesn't it?
Bossun: Like hell it does!
Yamanobe: There are other Eringi you can get, as well. / Oh - there's a Blue Eringi, try getting that.
Bossun: ...What's this one, then?
Yamanobe: A "career-up". / Mariko gets transferred to a more prestigious company. All it actually does is change the colour of her uniform, but it gives you a sense of achievement, doesn't it?
Bossun: Like hell it does!
Switch: This game really has a lot of useless elements, doesn't it...
Himeko: Enough already, just get movin'!!

10
Bossun: This time it's a green Eringi... / This one's running away...
Yamanobe: Oh - catch it!
[BubbleSFX: dee-doo-dee!♪]
Bossun: Ah! / That sound-effect... // A 1-Up!
Yamanobe: No, no... that's a 1-Cup.
Bossun: Huhhh?!
Himeko: Ah - that's sake! She's drinkin' sake!
Yamanobe: When Mariko drinks cheap convenience-store sake, she becomes instantly drunk...
Bossun: ...............
Yamanobe: ...and thus more difficult to control.
Bossun: Then don't tell me to get it!! // Gah... she's going all over the place! / Ugh, this is a pain!! I can't get the hang of it!
Yamanobe: Ahh, sorry about that! / Oh! That Yellow Eringi - get that one!
Bossun: Huh? Yellow? Is this one a 1-Up?

11
Yamanobe: No... / It's a hot compress.
[TN: In Japanese, "On-Shippu". Sounds vaguely like "1-Up" ~_~]
Bossun: ...............
Himeko: That does it, Mariko's just some old dude in disguise.
Yamanobe: When you put on the hot compress, your movement becomes a little faster.
Bossun: Gah... / She just got even HARDER to control!!
Himeko: What's this girl's problem...?
Bossun: Great, here comes another her Eringi... / This one's pink...
Yamanobe: A Pink Eringi?! Those are rare!! Get it!
Himeko: What's it do?!
Yamanobe: It's a "give-up".
Bossun: Ah... / She died!
Himeko: STOP MAKIN' HIM GET THESE THINGS!! // What's up with this game, anyway?!!! / All Mariko's been doin' since the start is eatin' all these weird Eringi!!
Bossun: Yeah, what's this game trying to pull?!!
Yamanobe: Look, there's a perfectly good explanation...
Switch: Incidentally, why is it that we still haven't seen a single enemy?
Himeko: Yeah, enough with the Eringi and the career-ups and all that crap!!

12
Himeko: That does it... let me have a go with this thing. // I'm good at these kinda games.
Bossun/Yamanobe: FLAP!! FLAAAAAP!!
Himeko: Huh? // ...I died...
Bossun: ...............
Yamanobe: You mustn't forget to flap! You have to do it every time! // Look, the only Eringi you really want to get is the Red Eringi at the start. You can just ignore all the others if you like. // Just move onwards quickly with the C-Dash.
Bossun: Could you not have said this earlier...?
Himeko: How far do we have to run, anyway...?
Yamanobe: Ah! / An enemy appeared!
Himeko: Huh? Where?! // HUH?!
[Box: Enemy ERINGI appeared]
Himeko: Now it's gone all like Dragon Quest!!

13
Bossun: Huh?! You're telling me you have to fight enemies on a battle screen?!
Switch: Random encounters... I never would have guessed......
Himeko: Call it what ya like, it's a pain in the ass!! // Hey... how do you fight this thing, anyway?
Yamanobe: You have to select a command from the menu. / Try selecting "Fight".
Himeko: Why the hell is "Sleep" right up at the top?!
[Menu:]
SLEEP
FIGHT
RUN
DEFEND
[/Menu]
Himeko: Put "Fight" at the top, dammit! // Agh, and with this weird Inverted-T-Pad thing, I can't make it go down!
Yamanobe: Oh, you just have to press "Up" until it loops around.
Himeko: THEN WHY IS THERE AN ARROW POINTIN' DOWN?!!
Yamanobe: Anyway, hurry up and select it! If you don't, the Eringi will get in the first attack! Go for it!
Himeko: Ah, come off it!!
[Menu:]
PHONE PARENTS
ADMONISH
REFRIGERATE
SPEAK
[/Menu]
Himeko: Gahhh, why are there so many commands on this thing?!
Yamanobe: Well, there are 64 individual actions.
Himeko: Crap! I went one too far!
Bossun: You idiot! Now you're gonna have to go all the way around again! // Aahh, the enemy's attacking... // A~nd you're dead.
Himeko: This game pisses me off...

14
Switch: It would appear that this is where I come in.
Bossun: Ahhhh... Switch!
Himeko: ...Looks like he can't crack his left knuckle.
Bossun: ...Did you really have to do that?
Yamanobe: Carefully, now, Switch-kun... I know you can do it!
Bossun: Ahh! / That flawlessly timed flapping...! // And after teasing Louisiana a little, he's off!
Yamanobe: Impressive... I can hardly believe this is your first time playing the game!
Bossun: He's getting every single Eringi, too.
Yamanobe: I suppose Switch-kun is a real completionist type of player.

15
Yamanobe: Now... bring on the enemies!
Bossun: Whoa... how do you even select commands that fast?! / And it's down already! / No way! // ...The way every little movement is perfect is actually kind of creepy.
Himeko: That's the Crappy-Game Emperor for you.
Bossun: And down he goes into the pipe without a moment's hesitation!
Himeko: He's really gettin' into this, isn't he...
Bossun: Gah! Where did the polygons come from?!! / Huh?! The underground stages are 3D?!!
Yamanobe: You can buy famous confectionery from all over the country in this department-store basement.
Himeko: SERIOUSLY, WHAT KINDA GAME IS THIS?!!
Bossun: ...............
Himeko: C'mon... let me have a go, would ya?!
Bossun: Don't be stupid... it's my turn next!!
[Box: And thus...]

16
[Box: The Sket-dan became utterly addicted to the game...]
Himeko: There's a Blue Eringi in there.
Bossun: I know that!
[Box: And working together, they overcame many obstacles... // Until finally, they stood before the final boss, Director-General Kamei.]
[Text: I am in love with you, Mariko...]
[Text: No! If we carry on like this, my heart will be broken forever!]
Yamanobe: Ahhhh... this certainly is emotional... / I never made it to this boss, myself...
Switch: To think that the graphics would end up this detailed...
Bossun: This game really is some kind of masterpiece... // And look, Mariko's been promoted all the way up to Honorary President.
Switch: Yes, in terms of job title, the "Director-General" has nothing on her. It's a pity it doesn't actually have any in-game use.
Himeko: Still, I don't know how we're meant to beat this guy... / Nothin' we do seems to be working!
Yamanobe: Mariko's love for Kamei is making her hold back, to the point where none of her attacks have a fraction of their usual power...

17
Bossun: We've tried every one of the summons, but they couldn't hurt him in the slightest...
Switch: And we've collected every last weapon and spell, but none of them are any good.
Himeko: This Director-General is just too strong!
Bossun: (No... there must be some way of beating him. // What have we overlooked? // We've tried every one of the 64 commands... // What else...? // Is there some other summon for us to acquire...?)
Himeko: Ah, crap, I died again...
Switch: Just one life remaining.
Bossun: Hm? // Wait... / Give me that thing a second!! // Here! // I want to try this command on Louisiana!
[Text: SPEAK]

18
Bossun: Ahh! It's gone into an FMB!
[Text: So you finally... feel like talking to me properly, Onee-chan.]
Bossun: Is that Mariko? These graphics are amazing!
[Text: I'm sorry... it looks like I was wrong... If I had only listened to your warning...]
Louisiana: That's why I warned you! I told you to watch out for that man!
Bossun: And they've got voice-acting and everything! How did they fit all this on one cartridge?!
Louisiana: I suppose there's nothing else for it... As your twin sister, I feel obliged to help you however I can. Let us face the Director-General together!☆
Yamanobe: Aaaahhhh! All right! This is it! We have to use a combination technique!
Switch: It's moments like these that I live for... I really do.
Himeko: They're twins and everything! Seriously! / Hey - why don't we go call Tsubaki over here?!
Bossun: The heck is that?!! He's got nothing to do with this!!
[Insert text: UNISON ATTACK!!]

19
Bossun: ALL RIIIIIIIGHT!! // WE DID IT~~~~~~~~!! // This is great! Now we can finally see the ending of the game!
Himeko: Man, that was a tough game... we've been playin' for like four hours straight...
Bossun: Hm? // Four hours...? // The... overheat... // Aaghh!! // Ahhh!! // Ahh!!
[Text: It's broken... // Our special...]
[Insert text: MARIKOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!]
[TN: Best. Yamanobe-sensei chapter. Ever.]