Sket Dance 96

Guidelines For Using My Translations

1
[Insert text: Feminine worries!!]
Bossun: Mm... / Tasty...
[BubbleSFX: squish squish]
Himeko: ............... // (Crap! // I think I've put on weight!!)
Bossun: Flippy-flippy, flippy-floppy... Everybody, flippy-floppy arms~
Himeko: What was that?!
Bossun: Huh...?!
Himeko: Ah... // I - It's nothing...

2
Bossun: Huh?! Put on weight?! // You think...?
Himeko: Ahhh... don't stare at me like that! C'mon, that just ain't right! // I've decided! // I'm gonna go on a diet!
Bossun: A diet?! / Nah... you'd never pull it off. You just don't have the self-control.
Himeko: Nah, you're wrong! / I'm gonna make myself do this thing if I have to tie myself to a rock!
Bossun: Nah... not a chance, not a chance. You'd break off bits of rock, eat them, and end up gaining weight anyway.
Himeko: What am I, some kind of rock monster?!
Switch: In that case, Himeko... // I have an idea you might want to try.
Himeko: Huh?

3
Sket Dance
Chapter 96: Exciting Exercise
[Insert text: The blooming flower of the Sket-dan!]

4
Switch: Are we all ready?
Himeko: What is all this? Why do I have to get changed an' everythin'?
Switch: The truth is, I happened to obtain a certain exercise DVD only yesterday.
Himeko: A DVD?
Switch: Its name is "Biney's MuteAmp".
Himeko: ............... // S... Say what? / "Biney"...?
Bossun: Oh come on... that's like "Billy's Bootcamp", right?! / Who the heck came up with that ridiculous name?!
Himeko: An' that's old hat, ain't it?! Nobody's into that any more! Captain Billy made a ton of cash, and that was that!
Bossun: This has got to be cheap and useless!
Switch: Now, now, don't be like that.

5
Switch: This particular DVD was bought by Otakura-kun in Akihabara; he too was thinking of attempting to lose some weight... // ...but he found it so useless that he gave it to me for free.
Bossun: So it is a piece of crap!
Himeko: Ah, whatever! I don't even care what it's like!! / I said I'd do it, so I'm gonna do it!! I ain't backing down from a little exercise!!
Bossun: Yeah, go for it! / Get so thin you're nothing but bones!
Switch: Very well, then... let us begin.
Himeko: This really is a blatant rip-off...
[TV: Biney's MuteAmp / Basic Training]
Bossun: Come to think of it, what's "MuteAmp" supposed to mean, anyway? An amp that doesn't make any sound? / Seems pretty pointless in general...
Himeko: Oh, here comes the music! // I guess I should move in time to the beat or whatever.

6
Himeko: Hm? / What's this? // Looks like the actors are havin' some kinda conversation...
André: Hahaha! / And so then I said to Bobby... // "Trying to seduce her with a cherry pie? Well, if you aren't just as sweet as a shortcake!"
Joanna: Oh! // Hahaha...
André: Oh... / By the way, Joanna, have you had time to think about what I asked you last time?
Joanna: Oh...
André: No, no, don't worry. You don't have to answer right away. // Hm? What's that? // The recording's already started? / Huh...?

7
André: Welcome to Biney's MuteAmp! / Today, we'll be working on basic training!
Himeko: RESHOOT THE DAMN SCENE!! // Come off it, you're screwin' up right from the start!
André: Now, follow me!
Switch: They actually decided to go with it...
Bossun: Filming in a single take?! The heck?!
André: Are you ready?! // Then let me introduce you... // ...to Captain Biney!
Biney: Hey there!
[Nametag: Biney]
Himeko: Then who the heck are you?!!!

8
Himeko: So what, you're not Biney?!!! Seriously?!! With a face like that?!!
Bossun: Yeah, who is this guy? With all that muscle and stuff...
Himeko: He's gone back to his position...
Bossun: So he was just one of the students...
Himeko: And what's up with the real Biney? Look at him! He's just some old Japanese dude!
Switch: Yes, apparently this DVD was made in Japan. The people standing behind him were all hired from a talent agency specialising in foreigners.
Bossun: Not that I care... How long is that guy going to stand there just clapping the time, anyway?!
Biney: Now then, ah, thall we, ehm, begin our, er, Bathic Training program? // Thith, ah, thing here ith called a Mini... yeth, an, ah, Mini-Band... / ...And well, if you don't, ah, have that much confidenth, you don't have to uthe it right away.
Himeko: Try speaking properly!!! / I can't even tell what the guy's sayin'!!
Biney: Well then, to, ah, begin with, let'th do thome, ehm, warm-upth!
Bossun: Just listening to this guy is pissing me off...

9
Himeko: Hm? What's this? The director just came into shot...
Bossun: Looks like the guy's getting a talking to about his presentation... // Oh, here comes that student guy from before, as well...
Switch: They appear to be discussing something.
Bossun: ...Why do they not turn off the camera for things like this, anyway...?
Himeko: Ah... // Looks like they're done.
André: So you only have to use the Biney Band if you're confident in your abilities!
Bossun: They switched!! // The guy from before just took over as Captain!!
Himeko: He got fired!! Biney just got fired for bein' crap at presentin' the video!!
Bossun: Why are they switching the Captain around at this point?! Did these guys not do any rehearsing or anything?! Seriously?!! // Ahhh... Biney's just one of the normal students now...
Switch: It's a little sad...
Bossun: Not very good at that clapping, either, is he...?
André: I'm André McDonald, and I'll be your Captain today! Welcome to Biney's MuteAmp!
Bossun: Can you even call it "Biney's MuteAmp" any more...?
Himeko: Enough already, just get on with it! Quit messin' about and get on with the trainin'!

10
André: Now, before we get down to some serious exercise, I want to start off by getting everybody in a nice and relaxed mental state!
Bossun: Just out of interest, why does this guy always look up and to the right whenever he pulls a "cool face"? / It's kind of really bothering me...
André: Why have you failed at losing weight up until now? // Is it become you've been caught up in horrible thoughts of having to overexert yourself with lots of tough exercise? // No, no, no, no! You'll never keep it up at that rate! / That's not the way to think about dieting. // You can't approach losing weight like you approach a shortcake! All right?
Himeko: ...............
André: Losing weight is something you're supposed to enjoy! Don't you agree? // So let's start off by getting ourselves nice and relaxed! Tell yourself "I don't need to diet!" This will all be more effective if you start off with that kind of relaxed attitude in mind! // "Ah, forget it!" / "Screw this dieting crap!" // With that attitude in mind, let's all sit down and relax. // Are you ready?

11
André: And say it!
Himeko: ..................
André: It's when things get tough that you have to express yourself clearly! // Ahhhh~~! // Ahhhh, dammit! // Ahhhhhhh, this sucks so much! // Ahhhhhh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~! // I'm not cut out for all this instructor crap! // Ugh, I don't feel like doing anything... // I can't keep up this crap! // Seriously, just screw it! // I wanna go home... // Mom, bring me some Corona Beer!
Himeko: Oh, just get on with it already!! // This isn't some kind of sauna!!
André: Now then, shall we begin with some stretches?
Himeko: About time.
André: Fold your arms in front of you, and work that neck! / Let's try it! One, two!

12
André: That's right... stretch your chin up nice and high! // Bring your gaze right down! // Joanna knows what she's doing. // Just take a look at her expression. // The expression is very important. / That's right. // Stare with some real scorn in your eyes. // And don't forget to be embarrassed. // And then this is what you say... // "It... It's not like that makes me happy or anything, okay?!"
Himeko: What is this, a tsundere course?!! // The heck's up with that?!! What's talkin' got to do with stretching anyway?!!
Bossun: ...............
Switch: This is rather entertaining to watch.
Biney: It'th, ah, not like that maketh me happy or any - or, uh, anything, okay!
Himeko: You stay out of this!

13
André: Right! Next up, let's work on the arms and stomach! / Cross your legs and link your arms behind your back! // Hold that position, and bend over forwards! / That's right! // And one! // Two! // Three! // Four - very good!
Himeko: This doesn't seem all that tough...
Bossun: Man, it pisses me off... That André's face pisses me off...
André: Take a look at Joanna! Joanna's doing it perfectly!
Himeko: This guy really likes that Joanna girl, doesn't he...
André: The hips, Joanna! You need to really thrust out those hips! It's all in the hips! / And do it with feeling! // You're looking for the feeling of a childhood friend living next door!
Himeko: Childhood friend...?
André: A childhood friend... right up through middle-school, she used to come into your room unannounced and wake you up in the mornings... At nights too, she would hop across to your room through the balcony... a real tomboy... // But since high-school began, her visits have become rarer and rarer... // One day, just when the loneliness was really starting to hurt, your parents were away on a trip... // ...and so she decided to come around to make dinner for you...

14
André: On your way home from school together, you decide to drop by the supermarket...
Girl: It's been a while since we walked together like this, huh?
Boy: C... Come to think of it... // Back when we were kids, we made a promise, right here on this street, that we'd get married, didn't we? // Do you remember that?
Girl: Hm? // Really? / I don't remember that at all... did I really make a promise like that?
Boy: Ah - n - no!! / I guess not... I'm probably just imagining the whole thing, anyway! / Sorry!

15
Girl: I'm just kidding...!
Himeko: WHAT THE HELL?!! // The heck is this crap?!! Give it a rest already, André!! // This guy's just a damn anime otaku!!!
Switch: No, I suspect his interest lie in dating sims rather than anime.
Bossun: Ahahahahaha! What's wrong, Himeko? I thought you were going to lose some weight?
Himeko: Ah, screw you! What're you sittin' there lookin' all superior for, anyway?! Come an' do this thing yourself!
Bossun: No, no, I'll pass... This screwed-up nonsense is too much for me!
Switch: I'll join you, if you don't mind. I haven't been getting enough exercise recently.
Himeko: Ah! That's our Switch! // Let's go for it!
Bossun: Huh? // Oh... then I guess I might...
Himeko: What?
Bossun: No... nothing...

16
[Box: And so it was that Himeko and Switch...]
André: That's right! Grab hold of your partner's hand and stre~tch out those arm muscles!
Himeko: Group exercises now?!!
André: With your left hand just below that, stretch out your right calf nice and far!
[Box: ...followed the ridiculous DVD through exercise after exercise...]
Himeko: What is this, Twister?!!
[Box: ...raving about its idiocy all the while.]
André: Now, what could I be making here~?!!
Himeko: Who the hell knows?!!
Biney: Jam!
André: Correct!
Himeko: He got it right?!
[Box: Until... // Fifty minutes later...]
Himeko: The heck... I know we were makin' fun of it... but if you actually follow it through, it does give you quite a workout! // *pant* // *pant* // *pant* // If I took this seriously, I might really be able to tone up!
Bossun: ...............

17
André: Good work today, everyone!
Himeko: Oh, André's sayin' something...
André: Everyone... I'd like you to try not to forget the sweat you shed today. That sweat is the proof that you've made a real step forward. // So don't worry! I'm here with you... don't give up! // I know you can change yourself! // May God's protection be with you!
Himeko: André...
André: One... // Two... // Three!
Himeko: GLORY~~~!!!

18
Himeko: Yeah~~~!! // Captain André is the best!!
Bossun: ..................
Switch: Dear me... that was some workout. I feel very refreshed.
Himeko: Yeah, it's really an awesome feelin'! You sure you didn't want to join in after all?
Bossun: Hmph... // Hah! // I don't need to go changing myself or anything!
Switch: So, Himeko, what do you want to do with this DVD? / The weekend's coming up tomorrow, so do you want to take it home?
Himeko: Hm... / Good question... Hmmm... // N... Nah, I think I'm better off dealin' with things at my own pace in the end.
Bossun: The heck! So you're not going to use it in the end!
Himeko: Well, it's a pretty tough workout!
Bossun: ...............

19
[Text: And so, come Monday...]
Himeko: 'Morning~~!
Bossun: Why, good morning, Himeko! // That blonde hair of yours is as radiant as ever! / Like a pot of morning marmalade!
Himeko: Huh? / Marmalade?
Bossun: Glory!
Himeko: ...Okay, what the heck happened to you?!!
[Insert text: The birth of a new Captain!!]