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Translations: One Piece 753 by cnet128 , Bleach 589 (2) , Gintama 503 by Bomber D Rufi

F.P Ageha Oneshot

en
+ posted by cookie_on_fire as translation on Jul 6, 2011 06:24 | Go to F.P Ageha

Reserved for Lazy Ass Scans. Do not use without my permission.

This was a one-shot from Young Jump a while back.

Page 1
Text: 10cm away from "death"...
Woman: Uuuu...
Woman: I'm sorry.
Woman: I'm poor and no good as a mother...
Woman: Uu... uu...
Girl: What a waaaste.
Woman: !?
Girl: There's nothing more valuable than human lives, you know?

Page 2
Girl: It's sooo dumb to kill yourself because you're poor.
Side text: She will solve your money problems!!

Page 3
Girl: By working, you can more or less earn some money.
That's simpler than dying, isn't it?
Girl: Throwing away both lives is no good you know?
Woman: Well...I...Um.
Girl: Hey, hey, maybe I'll listen to your problems.
Girl: I'm really good at doing that.
Girl: I'll do some consultation for you.

Page 4
Girl: I'm the owner of this cabaret club.
Girl: And just when I thought about taking a break after work...
Girl: Oh well, here, have something warm.
Girl: I understand how kids can be expensive, and how you're scared...
Girl: But...did you think about how much trouble you will cause with a suicide?
Girl: If something like that happened at this building, then the shops will...
Girl: ...
Woman: ...
Girl: Phew.
Girl: Alright, let's get started.

Page 5
Girl: Tada~~
Girl: Should I,
Girl: Provide guidance for your life?
Woman: Ichijou Ageha...
Financial planner?
Ageha: Well, it's like a home doctor for housekeeping.
Ageha: My job includes balancing the income and expenses,
And providing support for your life plan.
Woman: Huh...but you just said that you're the owner of this club.
Ageha: I do that too.
Ageha: In order to not waste even a single yen, I got my qualification!

Page 6
Woman: It was,
Woman: A shotgun marriage.
Woman: We met at a part-time job.
Ageha: So that means a part-time working couple, huh.
Woman: No...he was very happy about the pregnancy, so he worked very hard,
Woman: As a regular employee of a construction company.
Woman: Little by little, we both...
Woman: Were getting ready for it.
Woman: But at that time, there was an accident, and both of his legs were broken.]
Woman: According to the doctor, he probably won't be able to work for half a year.
Ageha: Wow, that's really unfortunate.
Ageha: But you shouldn't have financial burden because of worker's insurance.
Woman: About that...

Page 7
Woman: They said that it was his own fault, so he's not covered...
Woman: We're just grateful that they're not asking us for compensation.
Woman: And he has to pay the medical fees himself, even including living expenses.
Woman: Money is one thing, but I...don't know what to do anymore.
Woman: And finally he says terrible things like getting an abortion...
Woman: And then...on the roof...
Woman: I...
It was too much to bear.
Ageha: Did you do proper research before saying that?

Page 8
I can tell that you aren't taking full advantage of your life,
So it's not unfair to call you a dummy.
The worker's insurance is for accidents at work.
Everyone is eligible.
Even if it's his own fault.
That's something not everyone knows! Geez, so many people can exploit your ignorance.
Your really need to fill your head with more knowledge! For example,

Page 9
Ageha: If you have health insurance, there is a lump sum for child birth and childcare.
Ageha: For that, the government would give you 420 thousand yen!
Ageha: For the country, its citizens are a very important asset!
Ageha: Since there are other benefits for raising a child.
Diagram:
(Right)
Childbirth Stipend
Bubble: If you qualify for health insurance, you will be able to receive money in the form of salary, so that you can live without worry.
Bubble: Since you earn 200 thousand yen, divide it by 30 days, take 2/3 of that, and then multiply it by the number of days you didn't work.
Bubble: If we say that the maternity leave consists of 6 weeks (42 days) before the birth, and 8 weeks (56 days) after, then it would be approximately 200,000 / 30 * 2/3 x (42 + 56) = 440,000 yen.
(Left)
Government Spending on Pregnancy Examinations
Bubble: Usually pregnancy exams are free for 14 visits- The number varies in municipal districts.
Bubble: You're all set if get the receipts and aid certificates along with the maternal and child health handbook!
Bubble: There are other things too! Child stipend is one of them!

Page 10
Ageha: There more people there are, the more tax revenue for the government, so they can cover pension and insurance.
Ageha: If you can take advantage of government programs, then do so.
Ageha: And what happens if your child becomes someone famous?
Ageha: Then you'll have a return of tens of millions of yen you know.
Ageha: You should try your best to bring him up.
Woman: ...
Woman: A-actually, I...
Woman: My savings account balance has reached zero...
Woman: I tried borrowing money, but because my income isn't high enough, no one would lend to me...
Woman: Out of desperation, I was searching on the internet.

Page 11
Woman: And then I found this site.
Woman: I applied for a loan...
Ageha: !
Woman: I thought it would be fine since I have heard of the company before.
Woman: But I was rejected, and after a short while, money was transferred from an unknown company,
Woman For the 500 thousand yen that I needed.
Ageha: Geez, it can't be...
Ageha: You didn't use that suspicious money, did you?
Woman: Um...about that...

Page 12
Woman: My husband's medical fees and...
Ageha: Idiot! That's typical of lending scams!
Ageha: Both companies are in it together, and the one that rejected you will wrongfully use your personal information.
Ageha: Without a contract, they will be able to ask for ridiculous interests for the money they wired to you without permission.
Ageha: I guess that because nowadays, you're only allowed to borrow up to 1/3 of the household income, scammers like that became common.
Woman: A-Ageha-san, please tell me, what should I...do now?
Ageha: Geez.
Ageha: Well, at any rate.
Ageha: Because you earn 200,000 yen, my consultation fees will be 24,000 yen.
Woman: What--- you're charging me!?
Ageha: Obviously, since I'm a pro FP.
Ageha: You should at least pay me that much. Afterward is fine too.

Page 13
First is Lesson One!
You should train your mind and your courage!
If you do that,
Then a bright future awaits you.

Page 14
Woman: I-I still think it's better,
If we went to the police instead...
Ageha: The police is neutral, and doesn't handle anything other than criminal cases!
Woman: Uuu...
Ageha: That's why you have to do the work yourself!
Ageha: Tears can't help you get money you know.
Woman: ...
Man: You want to cancel your contract?
Man: Hahaha, and I was wondering what you wanted during lunch break.
I don't particular mind.
Man: But you know, ma'am,
*Scritch*
Man: If you do that,

Page 15
Man: If you don't return the 500 thousand yen that you borrowed,
Man: It's been 15 days, and the interest is 3% per day, so I'll be taking 725,000 yen from you.
Woman: W-w-w-well...to begin with...we never did sign a contract,
Woman: And the interest rate...um...don't you think that 220 thousand yen is a little bit too...
Man: What did you expect when you borrowed the money!?
Woman: !!?
Woman: Ageha-san, this is impossible after all.
Ageha: ...

Page 16
Man: You filled out an application on this site, right?
But because they rejected you, we helped you out instead! You should be thankful.
Woman: B...but...
Woman: I didn't apply for it myself, and I wasn't informed about the interest rate.
Man: Then why didn't you say so when the money was first wired to you!? And didn't you actually spend the money? Aah?
Man: We helped you out, and you falsely accuse us!?
Man: It's something only the human trash would do! Huh!?
Man: Return what you borrowed.
Man: Right?
Ageha: It's laughable, to be called human trash,
By a crook.

Page 17
Man: A crook, you say!?
Man: Who the fuck are you talking about!?
Ageha: I'm talking about you.
Ageha: With your line of work, you should at least know the law where if the annual interest rate exceeds 109.5%,
You will be sentenced to up to 10 years in prison, and fined up to 30,000,000 yen! 3% per day definitely goes over the limit.
Ageha: Or are you saying that you can't do calculations?
Man: Young lady...if you keep this up, my organization will have to silence you.
Ageha: Organization...? So you finally mention that.

Page 18
Ageha: Your acts of violence would be a crime too, probably.
Recording: My organization will have to silence you.
Ageha: Video recording is so handy you know. I guess I'll send a copy of the evidence to somewhere else.
Ageha: Should I guess what you're thinking now?
Ageha: Those using violence will be dealt with in accordance to the appropriate laws.
Ageha: And when a member within the organization commits a crime, even the leader is responsible.

Page 19
Ageha: To get the leader involved with your mistake,
That would be not good at all, Sannoukaihibiki Group's Takemura Daigo-san.
Ageha: In a trial, illegal lending will void the contract.
If you make matters worse, it will hurt you. Do you still want to continue?

Page 20
Ageha: That baldy was so generous-
Ageha: To give you 500 thousand yen like that.
Ageha: Well, you tried very hard too.
Ageha: Mothers sure are strong.
Woman: Yes, thank you so much for your help!
Woman: B-but...the money will be gone very soon with the current situation.
Woman: And it doesn't change the fact that we have zero income right now.
Ageha: It's ok! Don't forget who you are.
Ageha: This is where the real show begins.
Ageha: Just exactly how you can earn money,
Ageha: Is what we need to figure out now.

Page 21
Ageha: This is a computer.
Ageha: You will be needing its help.
Woman: Huh---!? But I'll be conned again!
Ageha: That's because you didn't use it correctly <3
Ageha: Listening to all your orders without complaint, it is a person's best partner.
Ageha: There is no magic wand greater than this.
Ageha: With whatever you have,
Ageha: You have to use them effectively!
Ageha: When the baby is still young, you can't really leave much.
Ageha: But if you use the internet, you can have discussions about things you don't know.
Ageha: You can also get coupons for places like restaurants and salons.
Ageha: And do stuff like print out baby photos for free.
Ageha: You can sell what you don't need in online auctions! And shopping online is the most convenient way.

Page 22
Ageha: You could also slowly collect points from internet ads.
Ageha: There are many ways to save money, for maybe about 50 thousand yen a month.
Woman: That much?
Ageha: That's right! Nowadays, in order to get about 50 thousand in interest, you must have a principal of 120,000,000 yen.
Ageha: When you think of it that way, doesn't the amount feel a lot more now?
Woman: But with 50,000, we can't really do much even if we're thrifty...
Woman: Although at least even I know about auctions.
Ageha: Well, I guess you would. It's really basic.
Ageha: And that's true, being thrifty is really annoying...
Ageha: What are you saying, you lowest of the low human being!
You can't say that if you have no money!
Ageha: If you don't start with the little things, then money won't be going your way!

Page 23
Ageha: Fine, then how about this?
Ageha: A job that you can easily do as you play with your toddler.
Ageha: For those who like creating little puzzles, you can do it with just pen and paper! Just think of some and then send them to the publishers.
Ageha: They'll pay you about two to 10 thousand yen per puzzle, and you can earn on average about 30 to 50 thousand a month.
Ageha: For teenage moms, they can take orders online for creating decorations and artworks.
Ageha: No qualification is required, and if you pay five thousand and sell for ten, then you earn five per work. If you sell 20 within a month, that's 100 thousand yen.
Ageha: If you like eating, then there is an interesting job where you are a secret inspector of restaurant service.
Ageha: You have to pay your own meals, and you get paid 5,000 yen per visit. That's not a lot, but at least you get free meals.
Woman: Ooh, that sounds good <3

Page 24
Ageha: In other words, Lesson Two,
Ageha: Stay-at-home moms should aim for 50 thousand yen---!
Woman: I...I see.
Woman: That, plus...
Ageha: Make sure you leave some time for studying.
Ageha: You should arm yourself with a qualification of some sort as well.

Page 25
Ageha: That way, when your child needs less attention, you can start working right away.
Ageha: And you're still only 22 right? Time is on your side.
Ageha: If you study really hard, you can do anything.
Woman: T-t-that's impossible! In high school, I placed 10th from the bottom.
Ageha: You know,
Ageha: I never went to high school.
Ageha: If you are really serious, you can do anything.
Ageha: That's what I lived by.
Woman: I can...do anything.
Ageha: Because of that, I got my Financial Planner qualification.
Ageha: Why don't you make a promise with me?

Page 26
Ageha: As a life specialist,
Ageha: I will try my utmost to get you on the road to high living.
Woman: ...
Ageha: So you,

Page 27
Ageha: Will do you best to live and act as a guide.
Ageha: To your child.
Box: Several months later---
Nurse: That's it.
Nurse: Keep at it.

Page 28
Nurse: Don't stress out too much.
Nurse: Let's take a deep breath.
Nurse: Ok, inhale~~
Woman: ---
Nurse: Exhale.
Nurse: Ok, keep it up, but slower.
Woman: H...how much longer?
Nurse: Just a bit more. Don't loosen up now.
Nurse: That's a good boy, there you go. Your mom is giving her best too.
Nurse: Just a little bit more now!
Nurse: Only a bit more!

Page 29
Ageha: Huh, you're pretty cute,
But your kid...
Ageha: Is kind of, you know.
Woman: Don't say that...but he does look like the father.
Ageha: I'm just kidding. And now it's probably time for the last Step.

Page 30
Ageha: Don't ever forget how felt as your child was born.
Ageha: No matter what happens.
Woman: Wh..what do you mean...
Ageha: Life is about 80% suffering...and the remaining 20% is filled with happiness.
Ageha: Even if life gets hard, the thing,
Ageha: That will keep you goings...
Ageha: The life that you're holding in your arms.
Woman: Yes!

Page 31
Ageha: Speaking of which, I still haven't gotten paid yet.
Woman: Huh, you bring it up now?
Ageha: Well, I'm nice, so I'll wait a little bit longer.
Woman: I-I'm sorry!
Ageha: I feel rewarded by the child's face.
Ageha: So I can wait at least that much.
Ageha: Because this F.P Ageha-sama,
Ageha: Is guiding you to the best life possible <3
Text: Take your problems to Ageha! She will save you!!

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