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Translations: Gintama 510 (2) , Naruto 692 by aegon-rokudo

Claymore 122

Plucked Wings

en
+ posted by gernot as translation on Dec 29, 2011 19:06 | Go to Claymore

-> RTS Page for Claymore 122

This translation is out on mangastream.
Let me know if you find any mistakes or if anything sound unnatural.
Enjoy!

Claymore 122

Page 1
Frame 2
昂ったミリアさんの妖気を私が抑えます
I'll suppress Miria's raging youki.
その間にユマさんは傷の回復をお願いします
In the meantime, please take care of the regeneration of her injuries, Yuma!
あ…ああわかった
O..., Okay, got it.
Frame 3
ビキ
biki
ユマ…お前…
Yuma... you...
Frame 4
西の地でユマはシンシアに次ぐ妖気同調の力を手に入れた
In the lands of the West, Yuma has obtained youki synchronization abilities right up there with Cynthia.
タバサは自ら剣を取り我々をこの地に導いた
Tabatha has taken up the sword herself and lead us to this land.
現戦士ナンバー8ディートリヒは共に地獄のような西の地で闘い
Dietrich, the current number 8, has fought together with us in the hellish lands of the West.
北の山で多くの覚醒者相手に闘っていたナンバー7アナスタシアは我々に協力すると誓ってくれた
Number 7, Anastasia, who has fought many awakened beings in the northern mountains, has sworn to cooperate with us.
Side
其々が成長をし、さらに多くの頼もしき戦友(なかま)と共に現われたデネブら北の戦士達!!
Deneve's group of northern warriors, each of whom has grown, has appeared with additional reliable warriors!!
Page 2
あえて今訊くぞ、ミリア
I do ask you now, Miria.
確たる決意…その絆は揺るがない!!
Firm resolution - those bonds will not waver!!
Page 3
この隊を率いる者として
As the leader of this party,
それでも尚我々の力は不要か?
do you still have no use for our strength?
SCENE122 もがれた翼
Plucked Wings

Page 4
Frame 2

Ku
Frame 3
すまない…
I'm sorry...
すまない、みんな…
I'm sorry, everyone...
Frame 4
この地にいる戦士の…
I want to save as many as possible...
倒れた仲間たちの命を
of the lives of the warriors here...
一人でも多く救いたいんだ…
of our injured comrades...
(lit.: collapsed comrades)
Frame 5
頼む…
Please...
力を貸してくれ...
lend me your strength...

Page 5
Frame 1
ふん
Hmpf!
つまらない
Boring!
Frame 2
隊長の命令で仲間の命を救う
Saving the lives of comrades at the command of our captain...
道理すぎて文句の一つも出ない
that's so natural that I can't think of a single thing to complain about!
Frame 3

Hehe!

Page 6
Frame 1
準備は済んでます
The preparations are complete.
いつでもいいですよ、みなさん
Whenever you're ready, everyone!
Frame 2
よっしゃ
Alrighty!
行くぜぇぇ
Let's gooo!
Frame 3
な!?
Wh!?
Frame 4
ダン
dan

Page 7
Frame 2
なに?
What?
どうしてあなたたち浮いてられるの?
How can you guys float?
Frame 3
知らなかったのか?
Didn't you know?
今時の戦士は空が飛べるんだぜ
The warriors nowadays can fly!
ギリ
giri

Page 8
Frame 3
うげ
Yikes!
はぇぇ
So fast!
Frame 4
まぁどっちだっていいわ
Oh well, whatever!
どうせ死ぬんだもの、あなたたち
You guys are just gonna die anyway.

Page 9
Frame 2
空を飛ぶなら
Flying is easier
軽い方がいい
when you're lighter.
Frame 3
しょってる荷物
Let me relieve you
重そうだから代わってやるよ
of your heavy luggage!
Frame 7
渡すか
Like I'd let you!

Page 10
Frame 3
いけ
Go,
タバサ
Tabatha!
Frame 5
馬鹿な…
No way...
貴様
You're
妖気はまるで…
not emitting any youki...
Frame 6
この中で私だけが
I'm the only one here
七年の後未だ妖力解放していないんだ
who still hasn't released her youki after seven years.

Page 11
Frame 2
く…
Ku...
Frame 5
飛べなくなってただ落ちるだけの巨躯は
A big falling frame that can no longer fly
格好の的だぜ
is a perfect target!

Page 12-13
Frame 2
え?
Huh?
Frame 3
な…?
Wh...?
Frame 4
はぁ
Haa
Frame 5
ま…
This...
まずい…
This is bad...

Page 14
Frame 1
別にもういいわ、そんな羽根…
I don't need them anymore, those wings...
そろそろ自分で引きちぎろうかと思ってたし
I was starting to think of tearing them off myself.
Frame 2
私一度空を好きに飛んでみたかったのよね
I wanted to try out flying freely through the sky.
疾さで頂点を見ると次は空を好きなように駆けまわりたくなるの
Once you reach the epitome of speed, the next thing you want is to bustle around in the sky.
Frame 3
でもあの羽根じゃ無理…
But those wings were no good.
空じゃ地上のせいぜい10分の1のスピードも出せやしない
Up in the sky, I couldn't even get a tenth of my speed on the ground.
Frame 5
ねぇあなた
Hey you!
私とスピードを競いあったあなたに訊くけど
I'll ask you, the one who competed for speed with me:
この私の覚醒体の姿…あまりすばやく動けそうになくて意外に思えた…?
Didn't you think it strange that this awakened body of mine didn't seem to be able to move all that nimbly?

Page 15
Frame 1
はぁ
Haa
Frame 2
そうよね
That's right.
あなたなら私のこの姿理解できるはずよ
You of all people should be able to understand this body of mine.
Frame 3
なんだ…?
What...?
一体何を言ってやがんだあいつ…
Just what is this weirdo babbling about...?
Frame 4
はぁ
Haa
Frame 5
そうだ…こいつの覚醒体のその姿…
Yes... that shape of her awakened body...
真っ先に思い出したのは北の地での闘いのあの瞬間…
The first thing it brought to mind was that moment during the battle in the lands of the North...
Frame 6
スピードを追求していくとその先に必ず待ちうける
If you pursue speed, it will eventually await you:
避ける事のできない一つの大きな課題
an unavoidable, big task.
Page 16
Frame 1+2
ビキ
biki

Page 17
Frame 1
ビリ
biri
う…
U...
Frame 2
ビリ
biri
な…なに…?
Wh...What...?
Frame 3
どうしたの?
What's the matter?
ビキ
biki
得意げに空から見下ろすだけで何も仕掛けてこないじゃない…
Just staring proudly down at me from the sky isn't going to get you anywhere...
Frame 4
ビリ
biri

Ku
Frame 5
ビキ
biki
せっかくだから羽根なしの
Since you're waiting so patiently,
私の空での闘い方を見せてあげるわ
I'll show you how I fight in the sky without wings.
Frame 6
よけろ
Evade,
デネブ
Deneve!

Page 18-19
Frame 3
な…
Wh...
Frame 4

Ga
ぐぁ
Gua
Frame 5
ば…
No...
馬鹿な
No way...
Frame 6
全く
I didn't
見えなかった…ぞ
see that... at all!

Page 20
Frame 1
この
You!
Frame 4
馬鹿な、こいつ
That's ridiculous!
空中で何故その疾さで動ける?
How can she move that fast in mid-air?
Frame 5
ドン
don

Page 21
Frame 1
な…なんだ
Wh...What?
空で闘ってるのに地面に穴が…
Although they're fighting in the air, holes are appearing in the ground...
Frame 4
ぐが
Guga

Page 22
Frame 1
接地面における
Traction...
抵抗力
the ability to resist on the ground's surface...
Frame 2
始動はもちろん制止や転回
For starting, but also for stopping and turning...
疾さを求めれば求めるほどその全てにおいて必要となる要素がそれだ
The more you seek speed, the more necessary this element becomes for all of that.
Frame 3
あの鋭利な脚はもはや地面を蹴る事など考えてはいない
Those sharp legs no longer think of kicking the ground.
大地を串刺し抵抗力を上げその絶対的な疾さを最大限まで引き上げたんだ
Skewering the ground, they provide better traction (lit. raise the resistance) and draw out that absolute speed to the utmost limit.
Frame 5
それって
Could it be
もしかして…
that...

Page 23
Frame 1

bo
Frame 3
ヒュン
hyun
Frame 4
こいつ
No way!
まさか
She's...
Frame 5
そうだ…
Yeah...
私があの姿を見て思い出したのは…
When I saw that shape...
リガルドを倒した時のクレアの覚醒体の姿だ…
I thought of the shape of Clare's awakened body when she defeated Rigaldo...
Side
空中を超速で駆けるヒステリアの覚醒体。
ミリアの脳裏に浮かぶのは…
Hysteria's awakened body is whizzing through mid-air at enormous speed. What is it that Miria is remembering?

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10 members and 4 guests have thanked gernot for this release

MasterDeva, Goral, MalakTawus, racjona, rtin, Piggy, shafagh, rosco12, haegar, WintryFortress

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#1. by haegar (Registered User)
Posted on Dec 31, 2011
p11 a big falling "frame" sounds a bit too "technical" as a term for living body to me, though it seems it CAN be used that way. possible alternatives(?) "hulk (insbes.großer, sperriger körper), "husk" (more some sort of insect-like shell? would fit her form but would misslead if the original conveyed sth like "körper-gerüst" that you wanted to get over accurately...) possibly "chassis" though that as well sounds a bit technical to me. would be nice if a native speaker could comment on this. (btw you can check up the suggested terms in some online thesaurus if you wanna get a clearer grasp of the implied meaning than I gave for each, sometimes the comment sections on leo.org and simmilar pages might give insight about when to use a term and when not...)

If you were to use "hulk" it would probably have to be phrased "hulk of a body" or at least "body-hulk" (which in turn again sounds a bit constructed?) which would lengthen the text :/

come to think of it on this one I am rly lost. All in can say is that "frame" sounds a bit off to me? Maybe I am wrong :D

p22 the ablitiy to "resist" on the ground's surface, assuming you wanted to get in the meaning of "der fliehkraft wiederstehen" or sth alike. "remain" on the ground's surface sounds more elegant to me in terms of flow but might be more imprecise too. other alternatives: "to stand firm on the ground's surface" , "to hold on (firmly) to the ground's surface" "to remain firmly on the ground" "to remain fixed on the ground" again, rather nuances, sth for native speakers to confirm

p22 "draw out that absolute speed to the uttermost level" also somewhat lacks the elegant flow imho but as before, complaining on a high level here :) more or less depends on original implication: if it's more like "hervorbringen, im sinne von aus dem körper das potential voll rausholen" maybe "bring forth the speed" - if you want it more crisp you could simply say "to the max" instead of uttermost speed, it works out fine though as it is. Also, I think "to the uttermost" works without "level", too. So here, actually I have a precise suggestions which would be: "to bring forth that absolute speed to the uttermost (or max)."

p.s I mostly took issue with this since to "draw out" has strong temporal connotation (draw out in time/lenght) even though it does not have to be used like that. if you don't want the "forth" - simply to "bring out" might do as well..so that would be "bring out that absolute speed to the.."

I am not entirely sure on either of the three sections, I never was very good with the precise rules of grammar and style and such but often my gut feeling is more or less right. The suggestions I gave are not neccessarily "more correct" but might or might not slightly improve flow or maybe get you to some other suitable expression if you check up on them more in detail...

thx for the speedy work, have a happy new year :)
#2. by Goral (Registered User)
Posted on Jan 2, 2012
@haegar
As for a frame, it is commonly used when referred to a body. You should play Fallout sometime (but 1 and 2 not shitty Bethesda versions). There are even body frame calculators and the term "frame" is used in dancing and is referring to a body shape maintained by dancers. Not to mention that Hysteria doesn't look human but more like a robot with different parts and she's not exactly alive (the term zombie would fit her better). IMO this word fits perfectly. Not to mention that choku (巨躯) means exactly "big frame" according to most online dictionaries and since Yagi used that word I don't think it should be changed.

As for "the ability to resist on the ground's surface...", traction is a resistive force (since it refers to the maximum frictional force) but you're right it sounds a bit strange and your suggestion sounds better IMO.

I don't see anything wrong with "draw out that absolute speed to the uttermost level" though. IMO it's perfect but then again my English level isn't too high.

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