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translation-needs-proofread

Shinigami Trilogy 1

Shimigami Soul

en
+ posted by Gomenasai as translation on May 27, 2009 19:32 | Go to Shinigami Trilogy

-> RTS Page for Shinigami Trilogy 1

This is for imangascans only.


page 1

b1) In the near future,
b2) the world will fall into the hands of a single girl!!
panel) From the auther of "Koi Neko" Mashima Etsuya comes a new story. About love, loyalty and a world of darkness!?
b3) The girl in the crimson dress that has subdued the grim reapers,
b4) The people in awe call her this:
b5) Bloody Queen!!

page 2,3

b1) This is the tale of how she sought out love, life, and death.
panel) A goody-goody reaper + a sickly rich girl. The start of a rip roaring love comedy
title) Shimigami soul

page 4

b1) You shouldn't be doing that Himeka-sama!
b2) Ah, sensei!
sign) Mutsugami Himeka
b3) Please get some rest.
b4) You'll be undergoing surgery soon!
b5) Please keep your reading in check, or else...
book) Mein Kampf // Adolf Hitler

page 5

b1) A-anyway, you need to save your strength. // Do you understand?
b2) Yes.
b3) This is so boring.
b4) I wish I were born with a strong body.
box1) Her name is Mutsugami Himeka.
box2) The only daughter of Mutsugami financial.
box3) She's been extremely unlucky since brith. // She's always been sickly and has been in and out of the hospital consistently.
box4) This time, she's here for heart surgery.

page 6

box1) I'm the grim reaper Furoku.
box2) What am I to her you ask?
box3) I'm...
panel) So cute.
box4) I fell in love at first sight of her!!
b1) I feel so sorry for her... // but there's nothing a reaper like me can do.
b2) Isn't there anythning that can be done?

page 7

b1) Isn't there something that can be done about this body?
b2) If I had a strong body I could do anything I want... // Like running, or swimming...
b3) No, not something so small,
b4) Taking over the world would even be possible! -small print- If its me!
b5) fufufufu
b6) Hey grimmy, take a look!
b7) yes?

page 8

b1) This nurse has black panty's on!!
b2) Eeek!
b3) She was trying to get someone to look at them!
b4) W-w-w-what on earth are you doing Genzou-san!? // Is that something someone who's on the brink of death should be doing!?
b5) That's exactly why I'm making new memories.
b6) Aslo, if you speak to me, they'll think you're a lunatic. // Only those who are close to death can see me!
b7) Whaat!?

page 9

b1) That makes things even better! I can just act like I'm crazy and get away with anything I do!
b2) Stop him.
b3) Its that crazy old man again!
b4) Divine punishment!
b5) Gyahhhhh
b6) hmph! That oughtta teach him!
b7) Thank you so much!
b8 Seriously.

page 10

b1) Is this guy really going to die?
b2) I hope this isn't some kind of mistake...
b3) It looks like you're having a hard time.
b4) Maya!
b5) What's up Furoku.
b6) You're here for work too?
b7) Pretty much.
b8) How long have you been waiting for this one?
b9) about 6 months.
b10) 6 MONTHS!? He's pretty damn tough...

page 11

b1) And, where will he be going?
b2) To heaven.
b3) hmm... my target is slated for hell!
b4) Today's surgery will be a failure, and that person is supposed to die.
b5) According to the report, that person is quite the evil one, decieving people on every level.
b6) Something like a born swindler.
b7) Well, its a good thing I can tell exactly when they're supposed to die.
b8) I'm going to check out the human world,
b9) later!
b10) Y-yeah...
b11) There are also bad people in this world, huh?

page 12

b1) Genzou-san, you were awake?
b2) Yeah.
b3) You shouldn't do that. // You're only hurrying along your own death.
b4) That's fine, but grimmy...
b5) Has there been an progress with that girl you fell in love with at first sight?
b6) HUH!?
b7) N-no... well, that's kind of...
b8) You see, I'm a reaper and all...
b9) What are you talking about? Do you even know what you want to do?
b10) What's the point of living if you have to keep lying to yourself? // Learn from my example!

page 13

b1) I'm extremely popular with the nurses right!
b2) I serioulsy wonder about that...
b3) Besides I'm fine so long as she's happy...
b4) So longs as I can see her smiling face...
b5) And that's exactly why you should do something right?
b6) You do something to make her smile!
b7) Genzou-san...
b8) Even though what he said was right,
b9) what exactly should I do?

page 14

b1) Ah, she's reading again.
b2) She should seriously use this time to rest.

page 15

b1) Whoa, that scared me! // Our eye met!
b2) Goodness she's cute!
b3) But that was a business smile.
b4) What is that? A stalker?
b5) Disgusting!
box1) Right,
box2) what I want to see is her smiling from the bottom of her heart!
box3) But I'm a grim reaper... // I guess that's not possible for me to...

page 16

b1) do... wait!
b2) Our eyes...
b3) met?
panel) Don't tell me...

page 17

b1) I had a bad feeling about this... // It happened so quick, I don't know what to say.
panel1) Grimmy.
b2) He's passed on.
b3) Genzou-san passed on this quickly. He looked so lively just a second ago...
b4) It caught me off guard too!
b5) Gramps, I'll put my panty's in your coffin! -small print- the black ones
panel2) Waaaaah
b6) Rest in peace!!
b7) And stragely enough, he was well liked by the staff...
b8) Sorry for saying all that, and now you have to leave.
b9) Its okay.
b10) Doc., the preparations for the surgery are finished!
b11) hm?

page 18

b1) Doc, please take care of my Himeka!
b2) I'll do all that I can!
b3) Do your best in there Himeka!
b4) I will.
b5) It looks like that girl will be going under the knife soon.
b6) Yeah.
b7) I hope the surgery is a success.

page 19

b1) Mom, dad,
b2) everything is fine, so don't worry.
panel) Ma... // Maya!?

page 20

b1) Genzou-san, // can you allot me some time please.
b2) Hm?
b3) I understand what it is I have to do!
b4) Please.
b5) Is that so. // Don't worry, I can get there on my own!
b6) Go, and become a man!
b7) You bet!!

page 21

b1) Not bad kid...
b2) Now then,
b3) I'll go watch as the nurses change!!
b4) The start of my second life!!
sign) Surgery
b5) Doc...
b6) Yeah...
b7) What were you thinking? Sneezing during an operation!? // She's dead you know!! She died because of that!!
b8) We can't do anything about something that's already past!!

page 22

b1) Anyway, we'll leave in 4 or 5 hours.
b2) And we'll say "Sorry to inform you..."
b3) You have no intention of coming close to the truth do you...
b4) Where are we?
b5) This is the path that leads to the gates of hell.
b6) You're being sent to hell.
b7) You know why right?

page 23

b1) Right... // In the end, this was the destiny that was given to me.
b2) Whatever, I'll accept it and put my hopes on my next life.
b3) Don't just accept it!!
b4) Wha?
b5) Furoku!? Are you trying to intefere!?
b6) Y-yes I am!!

pag 24

b1) You have some nerve coming flat out in saying your trying to interfere.
b2) I-I'm sorry.
b3) B-but that girl hasn't done anything wrong.
b4) There's no reason for her to be sent to hell!
b5) ah...
b6) That guys is...
b7) And what do you plan to do after you've saved her?
b8) She can't go to heaven. // And even if you revive her, the surgery WILL fail.

page 25

b1) I will.. wel...
b2) Anyway, you don't know what'll happen if you don't try.
b3) See! You haven't thought of anything!
b4,5) gufu
b6) Without a heart, you can't revive her!
b7) Th-then I'll give her some of my life!!
b8) A reapers life can serve as a replacement for someone's heart!!
b9) Wha...
b10) If you do that, you'll have to stay with this girl forever!!
b11) You'll basically become her servant!!

page 26

b1) I don't care if I'm her servant.
b2) I just want to see her smile from the bottom of her heart.
b3) To that end,
b4) I don't care what the means are!!
b5) Fine.
b6) I'll butter up the report a little for you to the higher ups.

page 27

b1) But do keep in mind, you CANNOT return from the path you've chosen.
b2) Don't regret what you've done now.
b3) H-himeka-san!!
b4) Ye... // yes!?
b5) Um, my name is Furoku...
b6) and well, you heard...
b7) So, I"m...
b8) uh, that's...
panel) Calm down!

page 28

b1) Come!
b2) Let's bring you back to life!
b3) O.. // Okay!
box) This is how she was revived. // Her life will last as long as mine will now...

page 29

box) And...
b1) What the hell do you mean, "Sorry to inform you..."??
b2) Exactly what it sounds like!!
b3) You worthless doctor!
b4) What was that!?
b5) Fine, since its come to this, I'll use whatever means I can to have your career destroyed!
b6) Stop, that's not funny coming from someone who can actually do it!!
b7) Dad, what are you fussing about?
b8) What am I... its because this guy...
b9) Wait..
b10) Hi... // Hi...

page 30

b1) Himeka!?
b2) Hey daddy!
b3) Wha... What the hell!?
b4) Thank god, my Himeka's alive!!
box1) I'll guard her for all her days.
box2) And one day I'll get my wish of seeing...

page 31

b1) From now on, I'll have to be with you at all times right,.
b2) Sorry for dropping this on you so quickly.
b3) But from now on, I'll protect you from everything! // I'll use my everything to keep you safe!
b4) There's no reason for you to hold back on anything you want to do anymore.
b5) Really?
b6) Yes.
b7) You'll really do all that you just said?
b8) yes.
b9) Then does that mean...
b10) Yes.

page 32

b1) You've just sworn your loyalty as my eternal servant?
box) For some reason, that smile... // looked stained with evil.
panel) The grim reaper Furoku's crazy life has just begun.
b2) Excuse me?

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#1. by Finestela (RAW Providers)
Posted on May 28, 2009
Thank you so much for translating this! Keep up the good work! ^^
#2. by Nihil (Registered User)
Posted on May 28, 2009
I know the scan for this came out already, but I decided to proof this anyway. Most of what I noticed were just typos; you might want to run your transes through a spell-checker beforehand (or hope the typesetter notices them ^^).

--------------------------------

Page 1:
panel) From the author of "Koi Neko", Mashima Etsuya, comes a new story about love, loyalty and a world of darkness!? Note -- period removed; "about" is a preposition and a prepositional phrase cannot stand on its own.

Page 5:
box3) She's been extremely unlucky since birth. // She's always been sickly and has been in and out of the hospital consistently.

Page 6:
b2) Isn't there anything that can be done?

Page 8:
b1) This nurse has black panties on!! (Remember, apostrophes are never used for pluralization.)

Page 11:
b5) According to the report, that person is quite the evil one, deceiving people on every level. (Remember, I before E, except after C.)

Page 12:
b5) Has there been any progress with that girl you fell in love with at first sight?

Page 13:
b1) I'm extremely popular with the nurses, right?!

b2) I seriously wonder about that...

Page 15:
b1) Whoa, that scared me! // Our eyes met!


Page 17:
b5) Gramps, I'll put my panties in your coffin! -small print- the black ones

b7) And strangely enough, he was well-liked by the staff...

Page 21:
b8) We can't do anything about something that's already happened!! (alternatively, "in the past").

Page 23:
b5) Furoku!? Are you trying to interfere!?

Page 24:
b1) You have some nerve, coming flat out in saying you're trying to interfere.
- Depending on the meaning, you'd probably want to phrase this as "coming in and flat-out saying" or "just flat-out saying". I think the literal meaning might have been along the lines of "being flat-out in saying," but that's usually not how "flat out" works (fyi, there's a hyphen if it's an adjective, no hyphen if it's an adverb).

b6) That guy is...

Page 25:
b1) I will.. well...

b8) A reaper's life can serve as a replacement for someone's heart!!

Page 26:
b6) I'll butter up the report a little for you to the higher-ups.

Page 28:
box) This is how she was revived. // Her life will last as long as mine will, now...

Page 29:
The second change here is just a suggestion, since passive voice is generally unnecessary (though it has its uses). Feel free to disregard.
b5) Fine, since it's come to this, I'll use whatever means I can to destroy your career!

b8) What am I... it's because this guy... (Remember, "it's"="it is")

Page 31:
b1) From now on, I'll have to be with you at all times, right.

b3) But from now on, I'll protect you from everything! // I'll use everything I have to keep you safe! ("Everything I have" is a more common way to say "my everything" in English)
--------------------------------


Overall, your translation read beautifully, great job! Just make sure to watch out for typos ^^
#3. by codelyoko14 (Registered User)
Posted on Jun 26, 2009
i think b1) In the near future, is not correct
遠くない未来!! is "In the far future" not "In the near future"
^*^
#4. by dens-09 (Intl Translator)
Posted on Jun 28, 2009
thanks
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