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Translations: Gintama 510 (2) , Naruto 692 by aegon-rokudo
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Vampire Yui 1

A New Awakening

en
+ posted by kawaiiusagichan as translation on May 23, 2010 16:57 | Go to Vampire Yui

-> RTS Page for Vampire Yui 1

Pg 0001
Vampire Yui
Author: Kakinouchi Narumi
Title: Story of Crimson Yuki

Pg 0003
From the author…
Rather than saying that “Yui” is a continuation from my comic “Vampire Miyu”, I’d say that this is an inside story of the “Vampire Saga” that I have started. Eventually, Vampires, Demon clans, and Yui’s father’s comrades who are stray Shinma, will gather around the sleeping princess Yuki and begin a tragic war…

Pg 0004
Vampire Yui – Story of Crimson Yuki
Author: Kakinouchi Narumi

Pg 0005 (part 1)
Vampire Yui – Story of Crimson Yuki

Contents

Chapter 1: A new awakening…..7
Chapter 2: The closed lake…..47
Chapter 3: When the cherry blossoms dance….96

Characters

Yui – Because Yui’s father was a stray Shinma, Yui was purified by Miyu. However, her mother drank the blood of the leader of an ancient clan of ayakashi, the Demon clan…

Nagi – An immortal that has sucked the blood of the Demon clan. He was originally raised as a human, but his human brother was kidnapped by Yuki. His motive for approaching Yui is…!?

Miyu – An elite Shinma and a descendant from the Vampire clan who lives within the darkness. She is a vampire who is both a guardian and a hunter for stray Shinma from another world.

Yuki – Using her blood, which possesses a strong power, she is a princess who governs the elite ayakashi Demon clan and their underling demons. However, due to her love for Nagi’s brother, she lies in a deep sleep in her castle at the bottom of the Lake of Illusions.

Pg 0005 (part 2)
Title: Vampire Yui – Story of Crimson Yuki –

The Demon clan is both God and Demon.
It was told from ages past that they were Gods, yet they were not; and they were Demons, yet they were not.
Humans, fearing darkness, called them Demons, and seeking life, called them Gods.
Within the crimson pond was a beautiful princess who ruled the Demon clan,
Who had crimson lips and sad eyes.
…Her name was Yuki
When her icy cold fingers brush against her beloved…
Author: Kakinouchi Narumi

Pg 0006 (part 1)
Her dreams began.
The two of them sleep at the bottom of the deep, deep lake, thirsty for blood.

…Even now, no one arouses them from their slumber.

Saki, Yuki’s twin sister who has split her bloodline from Yuki’s,
Continues her bloodline till today.
Silently… unbeknownst to humans…
…and…

That crimson blood

…flows
Within Yui…

Pg 0006 (part 2)
Chapter 1
A New Awakening

Pg 0007 (part 1)
(vertical 1)
[…She’s coming!]
Sfx: Huff!
Sfx: Clatter…

(vertical 2)
Sfx: clatter clatter

(horizontal 1)
Sfx: sensing

(horizontal 2)
[Larva.]

(horizontal 3)
[There. Can you hear it?]

(vertical 3)
[She’s coming!]
Sfx: clatter

(horizontal 4)
Sfx: swish
[…The new me is coming.]

Pg 0007 (part 2)
[…You’re finally awake.]
[I’ve been waiting.]

[My name is Miyu.]
[Fufu…still suffering from low blood pressure?]

“I am your sister.
//And mother. And…”
Sfx: giggle

Pg 0008 (part 1)
“…You.”

[…Me?]
[You’re me?]
[Who is it?]
[Who are you? What am I…?]

Pg 0008 (part 2)
[Is this… a dream?]

[I’m Yui.]

[Yui is my name…]

Pg 0009 (part 1)
Sfx: chirp chirp

Sfx: Bam!

“Good morning, Miss!
//Please wake up! It’s already morning!”

ST: Okay…

“It’s still early…”
“Please wake up. The miso soup is getting cold.
//Your grandmother is also waiting for you, too.”

Pg 0009 (part 2)
“Grandma is!?”
Sfx: gets up

“Yes,”
Sfx: smile
“She said that since she is in a good mood, she would like eat breakfast with you,
//So please make preparations as quickly as possible.”

“Oh no!”

[Why!? How unusual for her to want to eat breakfast with me!]
Sfx: fumble fumble

“Argh! On a rare day where there isn’t morning practice!”
Sfx: run run run

Pg 0010 (part 1)
Sfx: run run

“Good morning!”
Sfx: stare

“You make too much noise in the morning.”

“I’m sorry…”
Sfx: sad

“That slovenly lifestyle you lead shows up in your appearance. Just look at your school uniform!”
“Even if your parents are not around, you don’t want to be the talk of the town, would you?”

Pg 0010 (part 2)
“…Well then, sit down. Let’s enjoy the breakfast that Sae-san has prepared.”
“Okay…”

“Good morning, Yui!”

“What’s up? You look sleepy!”
“(ST: Sigh!) Yeah, I’m beat.
//I wonder if I can last for the entire day…”

“I bet you stayed up roaming the streets all night, Yui!”

Pg 0011 (part 1)
“Roaming the streets at night!?”
“Eh?”

“Yup.”
“I saw you while jogging yesterday. Where were you heading to?”

“Did I…?
Sfx: hmm…

“You little brat!”
“You sure? Where?
//Are you sure it was me?”

“ Tell me about it!
ST: Who were you on a rendezvous with?”
ST: She looked very cute in a yukata.

“(ST: Kya!) But
//I don’t even remember!”

“It’s true…”
Sfx: ding dong
“Stand!”

Pg 0011 (part 2)
“Bow!”
Sfx: clatter

[ That person…]

[Eh?]
[I feel like I’ve talked to her before.]
[Who was she again?]

[Hmm…]
Sfx: stare

Sfx: thump

Pg 0012 (part 1)
[Oh…]
Sfx: smile
Sfx: swish

[Oh no, why is my heart thumping so loudly?
Sfx: thump

Sfx: thump thump

[I’m feeling thirsty…]
Sfx: thump
[…Her eyes are… golden?]
[Oh no, I’m so thirsty…]
[I don’t feel well…]
[My heart feels like it’s breaking…]
Sfx: thump thump

Pg 0012 (part 2)
Sfx: clatter

“Yui!? …Teacher!”
“What happened to her? Anemia?
//Where’s the health committee member?”
“Yui!”
“Hey, Yui…”

Sfx: swish

“How is Yui?”
“Well,
//she’s been asleep since then.”

“Could it be that even Yui is becoming strange, like that girl?”

“But the doctor said there’s nothing wrong with her.”
“Is she going to become distant from us, just like that girl?”

Pg 0013 (part 1)
“…Yui.”
Sfx: tick tick tick
[The sound of a wall clock?]
“Yui.”

[…Who is it?]
“Yui, it’s me…
//You’re thirsty, aren’t you?”

“I’ll relieve your thirst,
//so…”

[Come…]

Pg 0013 (part 2)
[Where are you going?]

[…To the other side of time.]

Sfx: Sa sa

Sfx: sa…
Sfx: clatter

“What a beautiful moonlit night…”

Pg 0014
“(ST: giggle) I have something to tell you,
//so please come back quickly…”

[…My, you’re going to Kyuushu for a week?]
[Yeah, it’s a business trip.]

[…Quickly…]

“Sayuri!”

“What is it, Mother?”

“Even though it became warm recently, the nights are still cold.”
“Let’s go back. Your body isn’t just your own anymore.”

Pg 14 (part 2)
“Fufu… Do you think he’ll be back early?”

“My, my.
//Why don’t you tell him over the phone right now?”

“Oh my! I couldn’t!”
“These things must be said directly to him!”

“Alright, alright… It’d be great if it was a boy, wouldn’t it?
//Our family comprises of females, so we always need someone to marry in…”

“…You’re right.”

[But… Mother,]
[I’d like a cute girl.]

[I’d sew a beautiful kimono for her,]
[Educate her in the art of tea ceremony and flower arrangement…]
[Deck her in ribbons, and make her into the world’s cutest girl.]

Pg 15 (part 1)
“What’s wrong, Sayuri? You’re silent.”

Sfx: giggle
“It’s nothing. I’m just so fortunate.”
[…She was such a pure and innocent person.]

[She loved her family…]
[She was beautiful, and loved by everyone.]

[That was Yui’s mother…]

Pg 0015 (part 2)
[But Shinma have to return eventually to the darkness.]

“Mistress!”

“Your husband had an accident…!”
Sfx: shock

Sfx: Saa saa saa…

“He… passed away…”

Pg 0016 (part 1)
Sfx: saa…

[…Dear, I’m expecting.]
“How unfortunate.
//Even though he was young…”
“But it’s strange.”

[I hope it’s a girl.]

[What about you?]
“Very little of her husband’s body was found at the scene of the accident.”
“That’s because… he was burnt quite seriously, wasn’t he?”

Pg 0016 (part 2)
[I met a girl called Miyu.]
Sfx: blow (wind)
[She said that it’s probably a girl.]
Sfx: giggle
[I wonder if it’s true.]

Sfx: drip

[Miyu was a strange girl, much like an angel.]

[Sayuri-san, may you dream for all eternity…]

“Thanks to her, somehow,”
“I feel exceptionally good…”

Pg 17 (part 1)
[Although she was in the midst of happiness…]

“Who is it?”
“Miyu?”

“Good evening, Sayuri-san.”
Sfx: step

“As I thought, it’s you, Miyu!”
“You came! I’m glad! …Listen,
//I’ve decided this child’s name.”

“I’m calling her Yui.”

Sfx: smile

Pg 0017 (part 2)
“I wanted to see you, Miyu. You saved me.”
“Yui is my connection between me and Miyu.”
[…Yui, this beautiful woman is your mother.]

[Yui is my connection between me and Miyu.]

Sfx: stir

[Yui.]
[Wake up, now!]
[The past you have seen will open the sliding door in your heart.]
Sfx: rise

Pg 0018 (part 1)
[…There!]

“…Miyu,
//I’m thirsty…”
Sfx: thump thump thump
“Yeah.”

[I’ll give you…]

Pg 0018 (part 2)
“…my…
//blood.”

Sfx: gulp

[How cute…]
Sfx: gulp gulp
[My Yui…]

Sfx: urgh

Pg 0019 (part 1)
Sfx: cough!
Sfx: cough cough

Sfx: cough

“Yui?”
Sfx: cough

“She has not
//transformed fully.”

Sfx: pant
“She may require some more time.
//For the time being, let us bring her back…”

Pg 0019 (part 2)
Sfx: step

[I won’t approve of it.]
Sfx: giggle
[An eternal dream is just a sham.]
[I’ll never approve of a vampire like her!]

[…Yui.]

[You were better off not awakening.]
[You could have lived and died as a human, otherwise…]
Sfx: snicker

Pg 0020 (part 1)
[…That is…]
[…for your own good.]

“Larva.”

“…Yes.”

“I know. Who could it be?
//He’s neither prey, nor human.”

“He’s looking at Yui.”

Pg 0020 (part 2)
“…That will be all.
//I hope that you’ll have a meaningful summer holiday!!”
“Stand!
//Bow!”

Sfx: clatter clatter
“Hey,
//Yui has been taking leave ever since that day.”

“Shall we go and visit her now?”
“You’re right, but… she still calls, doesn’t she?”

[What’s happening to me…? I can’t fathom whether it’s night or day, dream or reality.]

Pg 0021 (part 1)
“Miss, your friends have arrived.”

Sfx: Yahoo!
“Are you still alive?”

“You guys came!”
“I’m so happy! How was the end of semester?”

“Boring, as usual!”

Sfx: reach

“(ST: Oh my…) Heh, you seem energetic.”
Sfx: hug
“But you became paler, even though it’s summer!”

Pg 0021 (part 2)
“Thank you…”
“I’m really glad you came…”
“It’s nothing!
//You’re exaggerating.”

Sfx: there, there.

“About Yui…”

“I don’t know if she’s feeling unwell, but there’s something different about her.”

“…Yeah.
//She may get even more unwell like this. Let’s invite her for a swim!”

“She looks fine, too…”
“Yeah. She’s an only child, and her parents aren’t around, so I guess she must be feeling gloomy.”

Pg 0022 (part 1)
[I’m thirsty.]
Sfx: throb

“Ah!
//Hey, did you give Yui those handouts?”

Sfx: throb throb throb
[It can’t be quenched using water…]

“(ST: Oh my!) You forgot the most important thing! The only thing you did was to eat!”
“Eh… But Sae-san’s cooking is really delicious!”

Sfx: throb throb
[…blood.]

Sfx: swoosh
“We’re such gluttons, aren’t we!”
“Really!”

Pg 0022 (part 2)
[I want blood!]

Sfx: Kyaaaaaaaaaaa…

Pg 0023 (part 1)
[…Was that…]
[…Yui?]

“Wh..at…”

“What… was… that…”
[Was that Yui?]

“What was that!!”

Sfx: fall

Pg 0023 (part 2)
“Somebody!”
“Anybody! Please!”

Sfx: pant pant
Sfx: clatter clatter

Sfx: pant

[The time has come…]
Sfx: pant pant
[A new vampire’s blood has awakened. With this blood…]

Pg 0024
Sfx: pant! Pant…
[There’s no turning back.]
“Is this a dream?
//Tell me it’s a dream!”

[Fool.]

“Let it be morning…”
“Quickly!”

[I’m glad…]
[Finally…]

[With this, I can go in peace.]
[I have to go after Shinma.]
[…One day,]

[The time may come for Yui to help out, perhaps.]

Pg 0024 (part 2)
Sfx: Ah!

Sfx: fall

Sfx: pant pant
[…Yui.]
[You are a vampire.]

Pg 0025 (part 1)
[A new moment]
[begins…]

Chapter 1: A New Awakening end

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#1. by TheBluePencil (Proofreaders)
Posted on May 26, 2010
I've pasted the page number I found the error on and then the small section of text it was in so it is easier to find.

Once again, there are only some small mistakes. Overall, there is hardly anything that would confuse an English speaker. Good job!

Pg 0006 (part 1)
Saki, Yuki’s twin sister who has split her bloodline from Yuki’s,
Continues her bloodline till today.
Silently… unbeknownst to humans…
…and…
→ till this day. (There is nothing wrong with it, but saying it slightly differently sounds more natural.)

Pg 0007 (part 2)
[My name is Miyu.]
[Fufu…still suffering from low blood pressure?]
→ Heheh. (Easier to understand for new manga readers.)

Pg 0009 (part 2)
“Yes,”
Sfx: smile
“She said that since she is in a good mood, she would like eat breakfast with you,
//So please make preparations as quickly as possible.”
→ she would like to eat

Pg 0010 (part 1)
“That slovenly lifestyle you lead shows up in your appearance. Just look at your school uniform!”
“Even if your parents are not around, you don’t want to be the talk of the town, would you?”
→ you don't want to be the talk of the town, do you? (This is to match the 'don't' earlier on in the sentence. You could also change it like this: 'you wouldn't want to be the talk of the town, would you?')

Pg 0011 (part 1)
“ Tell me about it!
ST: Who were you on a rendezvous with?”
ST: She looked very cute in a yukata.
→ Who did you have a rendezvous with? OR Who were you having a rendezvous with? (NOTE: There's nothing wrong. This just sounds better to a native speaker.)

Pg 0012 (part 2)
“Yui!? …Teacher!”
“What happened to her? Anemia?
//Where’s the health committee member?”
“Yui!”
“Hey, Yui…”
→ Anaemia? (NOTE: British English uses 'ae' instead of 'e' in some words. e.g. encyclopaedia instead of enyclopedia.)

Pg 0014
“Even though it became warm recently, the nights are still cold.”
“Let’s go back. Your body isn’t just your own anymore.”
→ any more. (NOTE: Normally there is a space, but most people wouldn't notice.)

Pg 14 (part 2)
“Fufu… Do you think he’ll be back early?”
→ Heheh...

Pg 0021 (part 1)
“(ST: Oh my…) Heh, you seem energetic.”
Sfx: hug
“But you became paler, even though it’s summer!”
→ But you've become paler,

Pg 0022 (part 1)
“(ST: Oh my!) You forgot the most important thing! The only thing you did was to eat!”
“Eh… But Sae-san’s cooking is really delicious!”
→ The only thing you did was eat! (NOTE: the 'to' is not needed after 'was'.)

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